Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Case # 9900301: Stump, Patrick
Interview #04: Miller, "Dirty" Hanger on
Hey! I was supposed to have Pete's baby! Okay then...
Patrick stood in front of Pete's full-length mirror as Pete was busying himself on the Internet. He stopped and examined his protruding stomach before pulling a hoodie over his head. "Pete, are you sure no one's going to notice?" he asked.
"That damn Bandgeekfreak's posting mean things about me again!" Pete complained.
Patrick went to Pete's room and leaned in the doorway. "What am I supposed to do for 9 months? Hide in the house?"
"Of course not. That's why we're having this press conference today," Pete explained. "Look what she wrote a couple hours ago: 'You know you're Pete Wentz if you wear tighter pants then most of your 13 year old fans.' Very original!" he spat.
A couple hours later
Joe and Andy had actually showed up on time and were waiting with Rob when Pete and Patrick finally arrived.
"There you are!" Rob exclaimed, worried for a minute that the two reasons that they were even having this press conference weren't going to show.
"We had a last minute emergency to tend to," Pete explained.
Andy looked at Patrick. "Are you okay?"
Patrick folded his arms over his stomach. "Pete's hair straightener wouldn't work."
"Pether, you sthaid I could have a toy if I kept my mouth shut," Joe whined.
Pete rolled his eyes as he checked out his hair in a mirror one last time. "We'll go shopping afterwards. You know the drill. I'll do the talking, and you guys just stand behind me and nod."
They were lead in front of the crowd of reporters and a group of girls who looked oddly familiar.
One girl was wearing Gaucho Marx glasses and was holding a Dictaphone. Another girl had her hair shoved under a black ski cap, but it was still managing to terrorize the other girls standing next to her. They were wearing Blues Brothers sunglasses and trying to blend in.
Pete walked up to a bunch of microphones and the girls got their notepads ready and pushed their Dictaphone closer. "I'm pleased to announce that I'm going to become a father!"
"He didn't waste anytime announcing that. Did he?" Andy muttered to Patrick with a grin. Patrick blushed.
The reporters gasped at Pete's announcement as pens scribbled, Dictaphones pressed closer and one of the girls fainted.
"Who's the poor girl who has to house your sperm for nine months?" Crazy Hair blurted.
"Who's the poor girl who agreed to have sex with him?" Gaucho Marx wondered out loud.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with the late start of the Honda Civic Tour would it?" the only British girl asked.
Pete glared at them as he motioned for Patrick to come forward. He put his arm around Patrick's waist and kissed him. "None other then Patrick Martin Stump is carrying my baby," Pete said, giving Patrick a loving look.
Patrick looked scared out of his mind.
The reporters were dead silent as the new information sunk in. After a few seconds, there was excited chatter and the pens starting flying again.
All the girls fainted, then quickly stood back up, fainted again, then got up and resumed their recording.
"Poor Patrick," another sunglass clad girl moaned. She also had the start of a baby bump and was wondering if Patrick was suffering from the morning sickness, swollen ankles and sore nipples like she was.
Suddenly, there was a yell in the back of the crowd. "What?"
Pete squinted at the source of the yell. "Dirty?"
"Pete! You promised that I could be the mother of your children!" Dirty cried. "I got your name tattooed on my toes and everything!"
Pete's mouth dropped open stupidly. "Uh."
Another wave of excited chatter arose from the reporters and they quickly started to scribble.
Hey! I was supposed to have Pete's baby! Okay then...
Patrick stood in front of Pete's full-length mirror as Pete was busying himself on the Internet. He stopped and examined his protruding stomach before pulling a hoodie over his head. "Pete, are you sure no one's going to notice?" he asked.
"That damn Bandgeekfreak's posting mean things about me again!" Pete complained.
Patrick went to Pete's room and leaned in the doorway. "What am I supposed to do for 9 months? Hide in the house?"
"Of course not. That's why we're having this press conference today," Pete explained. "Look what she wrote a couple hours ago: 'You know you're Pete Wentz if you wear tighter pants then most of your 13 year old fans.' Very original!" he spat.
A couple hours later
Joe and Andy had actually showed up on time and were waiting with Rob when Pete and Patrick finally arrived.
"There you are!" Rob exclaimed, worried for a minute that the two reasons that they were even having this press conference weren't going to show.
"We had a last minute emergency to tend to," Pete explained.
Andy looked at Patrick. "Are you okay?"
Patrick folded his arms over his stomach. "Pete's hair straightener wouldn't work."
"Pether, you sthaid I could have a toy if I kept my mouth shut," Joe whined.
Pete rolled his eyes as he checked out his hair in a mirror one last time. "We'll go shopping afterwards. You know the drill. I'll do the talking, and you guys just stand behind me and nod."
They were lead in front of the crowd of reporters and a group of girls who looked oddly familiar.
One girl was wearing Gaucho Marx glasses and was holding a Dictaphone. Another girl had her hair shoved under a black ski cap, but it was still managing to terrorize the other girls standing next to her. They were wearing Blues Brothers sunglasses and trying to blend in.
Pete walked up to a bunch of microphones and the girls got their notepads ready and pushed their Dictaphone closer. "I'm pleased to announce that I'm going to become a father!"
"He didn't waste anytime announcing that. Did he?" Andy muttered to Patrick with a grin. Patrick blushed.
The reporters gasped at Pete's announcement as pens scribbled, Dictaphones pressed closer and one of the girls fainted.
"Who's the poor girl who has to house your sperm for nine months?" Crazy Hair blurted.
"Who's the poor girl who agreed to have sex with him?" Gaucho Marx wondered out loud.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with the late start of the Honda Civic Tour would it?" the only British girl asked.
Pete glared at them as he motioned for Patrick to come forward. He put his arm around Patrick's waist and kissed him. "None other then Patrick Martin Stump is carrying my baby," Pete said, giving Patrick a loving look.
Patrick looked scared out of his mind.
The reporters were dead silent as the new information sunk in. After a few seconds, there was excited chatter and the pens starting flying again.
All the girls fainted, then quickly stood back up, fainted again, then got up and resumed their recording.
"Poor Patrick," another sunglass clad girl moaned. She also had the start of a baby bump and was wondering if Patrick was suffering from the morning sickness, swollen ankles and sore nipples like she was.
Suddenly, there was a yell in the back of the crowd. "What?"
Pete squinted at the source of the yell. "Dirty?"
"Pete! You promised that I could be the mother of your children!" Dirty cried. "I got your name tattooed on my toes and everything!"
Pete's mouth dropped open stupidly. "Uh."
Another wave of excited chatter arose from the reporters and they quickly started to scribble.
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