FicWad

Patrick sat up in his bed, hugging his bare knees. His head was spinning and he couldn't focus on one thought. He hadn't told the others yet, he'd just spun them some story about Christina wanting to know who got custody of their cat. It was half true, they'd argued over something that belonged to both of them. Pete and Andy and Joe had nagged him something rotten, because they knew when Patrick lied. He stuttered and cleared his throat and avoided all eye contact. As Joe and Andy shrugged in defeat at Patrick's secrecy, Pete made a mental note to worm it out of him.
There was a soft knock on the door, and it opened slightly. Pete's head appeared and he looked questioningly at Patrick.
"You OK?"
Patrick nodded, letting go of his knees and sitting up. Pete entered the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed and waited for Patrick to talk. When he didn't, he proceeded cautiously.
"What happened?" He whispered. Patrick shook his head.
"Nothing." He replied just as quietly.
"Patrick, I know when you're lying." Pete said. Patrick shifted and swallowed.
"I'm gonna be a dad." He said, and looked at Pete. He was slightly afraid Pete would burst into a fit of rage, cursing him for... well, he wasn't sure what.
"Wha- seriously?" Pete asked, taken aback. "Are you kidding?"
"Nope." Patrick replied, shakily.
"Jesus! Um, do I want to say congratulations?" Pete asked, warily. Patrick looked lost, as though he was about to burst into tears at any minute.
"I'm not pissed or anything." Patrick said, "I'm happy."
"In that case - congratulations." Pete said, clapping him on the back.
"Thanks." Patrick said, with a small laugh.
"So... why are you looking like Christmas is cancelled?"
"Because it's everything I wanted. I really wanted to have kids. Well, you guys know that."
"Patrick, everyone knows that."
"Yeah, well, I just thought when I did have a baby... it wouldn't be out of wedlock."
Pete nodded in reply and waited for him to go on.
"I just... I wanted to do the whole, get married, live in the suburbs thing. You know?"
"The American dream, right?" Pete smiled. Patrick shrugged.
"I guess, yeah. Now, I'm gonna be this kid's dad, but I only get to take it out at weekends for treats and stuff. And this is killing me because I know sometimes I'm not gonna be there. Most of the time I'll be on tour and stuff, but there's gonna be times when I have to cancel and blow off seeing my baby."
"Whoah, wow. Patrick, dude. You're getting too far ahead of yourself if you ask me."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. You shouldn't be worrying about that now, just worry about the stuff you're meant to when you're gonna be a dad. Like, making sure you support Christina and make sure that kid has everything it needs."
"See, I don't even know what it needs. I'm gonna be useless."
"Are you kidding, dude? You're gonna be an amazing father. You're probably the only one of us guys who us ready to. You're like... already a dad inside." Pete grinned. "You look after me, don't you?"
Patrick smiled and nodded.
"I guess."
"There you go. And that's harder than taking care of a baby." Pete replied.
"You just concentrate on what you need to. Like, all the disgusting classes you'll have to go to with Christina." Pete laughed.
"I'm not going to a class!"
"Dude, you have to. It's like, regulations. You sit there and learn everything. To me, it would be boring as fuck. But you're gonna need to learn everything you can if you intend on being around in this kid's life."
"I do!" Patrick said. "I wouldn't leave it for anything."
"There you go. See, you already love it. You'll be fine. Trust me."

After Pete had gone to his own bed, Patrick couldn't help but scrutinize everything Pete had said. Maybe he would be a lousy dad. What if the kid hated him and grew up resenting him for never being around? There were too many thoughts swarming his head to focus on one. He tried anything to take his mind off it and fall asleep, but nothing worked. He still couldn't erase the thoughts of Christina. He loved her. He couldn't imagine not loving her, and to think of her right now cuddled up to some other guy when she was having his baby was just unreal. He needed his family unit he'd dreamt of for years, certain Christina would be the one he built it with. Now all that was gone and there was just the thought of his future. A lonely future. Living in a two bedroomed apartment and only seeing his kid in arranged times. That wasn't the life he'd dreamt of. He had to do something, and fast. He just couldn't think what.

"I call Godfather!" Joe yelled as soon as Patrick had told him and Andy the news, his hand shooting up into the air like he was in school. Andy moaned and pushed him feebly.
"Aww, that's so unfair! You can't just call it!"
"Yeah you can. I just did!" Joe replied, and stuck his tongue out. "You can be Godmother."
"Oh, haha." Andy said. Both of them glared at each other, then the shock of what Patrick said hit them full on.
"What?" Andy yelled.
"OHMYGODTHAT'SSOCOOL!" Joe said excitedly, so fast that it was hardly distinguishable.
"Yeah, yeah it is." Patrick said, sitting down at the kitchen table and rubbing his eyes. He'd hardly gotten any sleep last night, he was just glad he didn't have a busy schedule at that time.
"You are... happy about it, right?" Andy asked, sitting down opposite him.
"Guys, I really don't wanna do this now. Can't you ask me questions later on?" He asked, yawning. Now he was faking being more tired than he actually was, it was just an easy excuse for not wanting to talk about it. He'd spent too much time analyzing it last night and if someone brought it up once more, he was sure he was going to burst into tears or break something, be it one of his bones or a chair.
God, I'm so screwed up.
"Morning, daddy." Pete laughed, entering the kitchen.
"Oh, Jesus." Patrick said, laying his head in his hands.
"Excuse me, but when did you two start automatically letting yourselves into my home when I'm not awake?" Pete asked Andy and Joe, pushing Joe out of the way of the fridge.
"Since it started annoying you." Joe said, with a grin.
"How'd you sleep?" Pete asked.
"Pretty well, actually. I woke up a few..." Joe started, but Pete punched him to shut him up.
"I was talking to Patrick."
"Oh."
"I slept OK." Patrick replied, his head still resting in his hands.
"/Pete/, Joe called Godfather already." Andy whined.
"Shut up, just 'cause you didn't!" Joe shot back.
"Hey! I thought I would be Godfather! I'm the coolest." Pete said to them both, and they began to argue about names and presents and roles. Patrick sighed and shook his head, sliding out of his chair. Leaving the kitchen, he muttered;
"It's not like you're gonna see it much."

"Dude, she broke up with you, it's not gonna happen. I'm sorry, I know you don't wanna hear it but it's the truth."
"You're right. I should just... get over her, I guess. She's moved on, fucking quick but still. I mean, it's gonna be harder to get over her and forget about her."
"How come?"
"Well, she's having my kid, duh, and that means I'm not gonna be able to just forget about her because I'm still gonna see her. It's not like I just have to worry about seeing her on the street or something. I'm gonna be there," Patrick motioned with his hand, "and she's gonna be here." He motioned with his other, keeping them close together.
"I know, dude, but if you manage to do that, then you'll be stronger than you realize."
"This is so unfair. I should be with her. And if I'm not, it should just stay that way. Like yesterday morning, I could think 'OK, she's out of my life, she's happy, I better move on. I have no reason to be besotted with her anymore', you know?"
Pete nodded but in his head questioned what Patrick meant.
"Well, you know, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."
Patrick nodded but paused.
"You got that from The Fray's song."
Pete shrugged.
"Made me look good for a second, though."


"And all of the mother's raise their babies to stay away from me... and pray they don't grow up to be." Patrick snapped his laptop shut and pushed it away. Why did iTunes decide to play that song on shuffle? He stood up and looked out the window, trying to focus on anything else. It was 7 pm and he watched the lights flicker across the street, his face becoming hot. He had been breaking out in nervous sweats for hours, thinking about what he was going to do. Picking up his phone, he dialed Christina's home number, uneasily from his hands shaking so much.
A few rings later, someone picked up.
"Hello?" A deep voice sounded. Patrick closed his phone quickly and sank down onto the floor, breathing heavily.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." He repeated, biting his lip. "OK, just do it Patrick, just do it."
He re-dialled the number and it rang again.
"Hello?"
"Christina?"
"Patrick? Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." He said. "Actually, I'm not. I have to talk to you."
"Not now, Patrick, I'm busy."
"No, now." Patrick said, defiantly. It was rare he actually argued against Christina.
"Patrick," she used her warning voice that usually made him worried and agree with whatever she had to say.
"I have to talk to you. Now." He repeated.
"Patrick! I am not going to..." She started to raise her voice.
"Christina, if you don't come and meet me I'll come round to your place and we can talk about it there. And I can meet your new boyfriend."
"Don't you dare!" She said, becoming angry. Patrick could see now how she'd talked to the others yesterday. She was often moody and irritable, but he nearly always managed to cheer her up. A part of him was slightly relieved he wouldn't be living with her when she got her pregnancy hormones.
"Then come meet me." Patrick said, running his finger across his pocket of his jeans, feeling the object inside.
"OK. But only for half an hour."
"All right. Our place?" He asked. There was a pause on the other end of the line.
"Our place." She sighed, defeated, and put down the phone.
"I'll be back in half an hour." Patrick said quickly, grabbing his jacket and leaving the house quickly, before the others could say a word, leaving them with their mouths half open in the living room.

Patrick entered the their café and looked around to see Christina in the booth they'd had their first date in. She was playing with the napkin, a habit she'd picked up while waiting for Patrick on numerous occasions when he was late because of re-scheduled appointments, etc.
"Hey." He said, approaching the booth. He bent down to kiss her cheek, and she returned it. Patrick felt his cheek turn red where her lips had touched him.
"Hey, kiddo." He said, tracing his finger along her stomach and grinning at her.
"Just say what you want to say, Patrick." She replied, no trace of a smile on her face. She looked distant and withdrawn, so Patrick hurriedly took a breath.
"OK. I've been doing a lot of thinking, like about what's best for the baby and... everything." He said, looking at her. Her face was blank.
"And... I can't do it."
Christina stared at him, her eyes wide and in disbelief.
"I knew it! I knew you'd fucking abandon me and leave me to raise this kid on my own. Well, fuck you, Patrick. We don't need you! You don't want us? Well, fine." She said heatedly, standing up to leave.
"No, no, no, no, no!" Patrick said, hurriedly, standing up. "Sit down, please."
He stood standing as she sat back down, and reached into his pocket.
"I mean, I can't do this alone. I don't wanna be a dad who sees his kid on weekends. We're a family now. This kid deserves it. We love each other, all of us, you know that. So..."
He stooped lower and withdrew the object in his pocket, leaning down on one knee.
"Will you marry me?"

I know I keep updating this real quick, but I have two weeks off school so I have nothing better to do than write. Should I carry on? I'm a trend follower and reviews = updates!