Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > 'Master of the Game'.

You're The First, My Last, My Everything

by ClandestineUnited 3 reviews

Patrick's beginning to crack and lose his faith in himself. Pete, Andy and Joe are lost in their attempts to understand and solutions to help.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: G - Genres: Drama - Published: 2007-05-24 - Updated: 2007-05-24 - 1665 words

Thank you very, very, very much for the lovely reviews. I'm writing a lot more as we speak 'cause I have lots of stuff planned for this now. And I've got to say, having whatkatydid review my story was amazing. Your writing is fantastic and I love your stories. Thank you, everyone.

Christina stared at Patrick, lost for words. At that moment she actually thought he had gone crazy. Had the events of the past few days just faded from his memory? She looked at Patrick, his excited but slightly nervous posture, his mouth in a half smile, biting his bottom lip as the silence deepened. Without a word, Christina got up and left the booth, quicker than Patrick could turn around to watch her. He spun around on his knee to see the door slam shut and the end of Christina's hair disappear from the window. Patrick swallowed, still on his knees.
"Was that a yes or a no?" He whispered to himself. He quickly got up and left the café, looking down the street to catch Christina. At last he caught a glimpse of her, hurriedly walking towards her part of town. Patrick followed her, quite far behind, cursing himself in his head. What the fuck had he been thinking? How desperate did he look? He didn't mean to sound so desperate and needy, but he knew that no matter what, he loved Christina and nothing could change that. He was 100% certain that her new boyfriend couldn't love her half as much as he did, and to know there wouldn't be a chance in hell of them being a proper family unit tore at him, making him feel physically sick that his dreams could be quashed with one simple answer.
"Christina!" He finally caught up with her, his breath short and sharp, a searing pain in his chest that he couldn't distinguish between a stitch and loss.
"Leave me alone, Patrick."
"No! Listen, I don't know what the hell I was thinking, seriously. I'm so fucked up. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do." He repeated, tears appearing in his eyes once again. Christina turned around and looked at him, her hair blowing in the wind that was creeping up.
"Help me." He whimpered, his lip trembling. She couldn't look at him. She didn't want him. She couldn't live her life the way she had for the past five years, knowing he would be leaving any minute. If they weren't together, she would be able to know he was leaving once, and not coming back. But at the same time, a voice in the back of her head told her to go back to him. That she couldn't live without knowing he was somewhere in the world, waiting for her.
"I can't help you anymore, Patrick. I've tried. I can't. I can't do it."
"We can help each other. Please, Christina, you know it's right. We belong together. That guy won't ever love you as much as I do."
Christina shook her head at him.
"You don't know him."
"But you know me. You know me, look at me, I'm your best friend! I know you too. We click. We're meant for each other."
"Stop it, stop it." Christina said, closing her eyes. "Don't make it hard."
"I'm sick of it, Christina! Is this what I'm gonna do every time we meet up? Beg for you to take me back? Because every time we talk I end up looking like an idiot, crying and pleading. I just want it to stop. I want us to be together."
"I know you do. But I can't do it anymore. It's too tiring."
"Tiring?" Patrick cleared the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. "I'm absolutely exhausted. I'm exhausted from crying. I'm exhausted from thinking about you, us. I'm not just saying this so I can look brave and cool for once in my life, chasing after the girl I love like it's some 90's movie. 'Cause I know it's not gonna have a happy ending, right?"
Christina looked up at the clouds above them, turning darker by the minute as the air grew colder around them.
"I should go."
"And quite frankly, it scares the living daylights out of me." Patrick's voice sounded as she turned away.
"I'm tired of chasing you but I can't stop until you know what you're doing to me. If you love me like you said you did, why are you gonna leave me here?"
Christina looked at the ground. She knew she was breaking Patrick in two, but it wasn't like life was peachy for her either.
"I have nothing to come home for now." Patrick said, sadly. She turned around and grabbed his hand. She placed it on her stomach and with her free hand, gently stroked his cheek and cupped his face in her hand.
"You have your baby." She said, and with that, she turned and walked away, leaving Patrick staring after her, droplets of rain smearing his glasses, mixing with his tears.

"Jesus, Patrick! Where've you been? You've been like an hour and - why are you soaking?" Andy asked, worriedly as soon as Patrick opened the door.
"Because it's raining, dumbass." Joe said, pushing him. Pete gave him a warning glance and put his arm around Patrick, kicking the front door closed behind him, shutting out the thudding of the rain outside.
"Where did you go?"
"I, uh... went to a café." Patrick replied, letting Pete steer him into the living room and sitting him in his armchair.
"An outdoor one?" Joe asked.
"No. I met up with Christina." Patrick said, shaking his head.
"And? Did anything happen?"
"Yeah," Patrick nodded. The others stared at him, impatiently waiting.
"Well? Are you back together or something?" Andy asked.
"Then /what/?!" Joe exclaimed, jumping up and down.
"I sort of... proposed."
There was a very long silence as they replayed the conversation in their heads. Each of them was shocked beyond belief. Something was up with him. This break up had seriously fucked him up. He was doing stuff you only saw in movies, when the character knew they were going to die or something, and tried to accomplish everything they'd thought of before it was too late. None of them could see why, though. It was already too late for him and Christina.
"And she said...?" Joe prompted, waving his hand in the air.
"She said no, OK?!" Patrick suddenly yelled. The three of them took a step back in unison, a shocked look on their faces. Patrick stood up and pushed past them, his head down. They stood in silence as they heard the faint thumping of Patrick's feet above on the carpet.
"Wow." Pete said, "He's really screwed."
"He's really screwed up, more like." Joe sighed, sitting down.
"Well, wouldn't you be too?" Pete asked, leaning the side of his head on his hand.
"Well, it's a break up. I'd be... broken, sure. But he'll get over it."
"God, Joe, you are so dumb! What if it was you and your girlfriend?"
"Why? Have you seen her with someone?"
Pete shook his head in disbelief and rolled his eyes.
"OK, since you don't understand this very well, let me spell it out. What if you were with your girlfriend for five years, and she suddenly told you that she couldn't take it anymore, and went to live with another guy in your place?"
"Yeah, I understand that." Joe replied. "But with time, he'll be OK again. That's what happens with all break ups."
"You've never been broken up with by someone you honestly think you love? Someone you think you'll spend the rest of your life with?" Pete asked, quietly, his own memories and pain of a lost love flooding back to him.
"I don't know." Joe said.
"OK, well try and imagine that. Imagine your girlfriend left you for some other guy because of your other love - your career. And then multiply that by a million, or whatever. Yes, you can forget her, yes, you can try and erase every single memory of her, and you can depress yourself and be miserable for months, even years trying to get over her. And then, on top of that, throw in a baby. A baby that's been wanted by both but never found the time to have or plan. And that baby makes it harder than anything to get over your one true love, because there is absolutely no way you can avoid them and pretend they don't exist."
Joe watched him, unable to fully imagine the pain Patrick was going through. Pete paused, and went on, but he lowered his voice.
"Even if Patrick never sees Christina again, that baby is going to remind him every single day what he's lost, and what he's gained from that loss."
Andy nodded in agreement with Pete and spoke too.
"He's never gonna be able to forget it. Ever."
Outside the living room, on the stairs, Patrick was standing listening. He had come down quietly to apologize for storming out, but heard the voice and the occasional mention of his name. He heard everything. And he understood everything.
"I love you." He mumbled, leaning against the wall and sliding down slowly to sit on the stair. He let the tears fall from his eyes yet again, and closed his eyes against them, letting them drip down his cheeks. He screwed his face up to stop himself but now he'd started he couldn't stop. Just like his feelings. Five years ago, he'd started to love Christina. Even now, he couldn't stop.
"I love you."

All right, this chapter's pretty weak, in my opinion. And it's pretty short. So I apologize. I think it's kinda repetitive from the last one, but I really wanted to emphasize what Patrick's going through. The next chapters will be up soon, if you guys want?
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