FicWad

AN; There you go. Read and tell what you think, please.


Gerard flinched to the tone of his brother. He turned his back to frowning Emily, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself. He was filled with anger towards Frank, he had had no right to tell them, especially when they had just agreed otherwise. He also felt defeated. Something that had been a secret only hours ago was now known fact, and no longer Gerard had control over it. When he had kept it quiet, partly from himself even, he had always had two options. To tell and not to tell.
Now he had told, and suddenly it wasn't in his hands anymore. He couldn't take it back, couldn't change it. He had no idea what to say now, he hadn't figured things this far. Only thing he knew, was that he hadn't expected his brother to be mad.
"This isn't actually a good time to talk bout this," he said to the phone.
"Oh really?" Mikey raised his voice to near-yell. "When is a good time for you? When you were here, with us, all the fucking time, it wasn't a good time! Now that you're in some motel doing nothing, it's not a good time!"
"Mikey, calm down. I'll call yo-," Gerard said while digging his nails to his palms only to be cut out.
"Don't you even dare to tell me to calm down," Mikey said suddenly in low tone, "Even if you don't want to admit it, you need us."
Both men were quiet for a moment. Gerard stared at the floor without really seeing it, Mikey stared at Bob who had tried to take the phone from him when he yelled, Emily stared at Gerard's back, Frank and Ray kept glancing to each other and then Mikey. Tension in both rooms was touchable.
"You need us, and we're gonna be there for you," Mikey spoke, he got his voice back first. "I don't care what you think you should do. I don't care if you don't want my help. But you're fucking gonna get it. If I have to shove it down your throat, I don't care. You'll get it."
"Mikey," Gerard said his brothers name softly, blinking his strangely watering eyes, he was pleading, "I love you. And I know you mean well and want to best for me."
He heard Mikey was about to say something, so he raised his voice and spoke quickly; "But right now, you can't help me. You don't understand-"
"Oh I don't understand?" Mikey raised his voice again cutting Gerard off causing the three men around him sigh. Mikey was usually calm and cheerful and sweet, but when it came down to serious things, he was quite feisty. "I think you don't understand. You think you can just leave us, us," he emphasised the second 'us', "like that wouldn't get us all worried, then you tell something like that to Frank, tell him to keep this from everyone, and expect it's all cool. Expect us to keep our mouths shut and wait for what's coming. But you know what? You CAN'T. You can not make us that cold. You're too fucking important to me. To us, man. Stop acting like a dick and come home."
Gerard felt like hitting himself to the face. But he didn't have to really, his mind did it all for him. His limbs felt numb and his insides ached. It hurt to move any part of his body even for inch or two.
"I can't," he said in a mix of a whisper and a croak. "I'd love to, but I can't."
Mikey grew angrier. He wasn't really angry at Gerard, more at himself. He was the one who gave his little trip the first blessing. He was also hopeless, only thing he had left were emotions he couldn't canalise the right way. He felt like his bad feeling was coming true right in front of his eyes and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He couldn't say another word, for he had no idea what to say and 'cause he was afraid what he might say, so he lowered the phone and ended the call.
Gerard listened to the merciless beeping from his phone and smiled. It wasn't a beautiful, amused smile. In fact, it was the most terrible smile Emily had ever witnessed. It was more like ugly gurn that wrinkled his whole face.
Emily stepped little closer to Gerard but didn't know whether to took more or not. The man almost shook, it was clear he wasn't okay. Whatever the call had been about, Emily had only heard what the other man had yelled, it was big and unpleasant.
"Gerard?"
Emilys careful voice shot through Gerard's burning ears. He turned his face to look at her. "Yeah?"
"Who was that?"
"That," Gerard said and scraped his jaw, where the start of a stubble tickled his fingertips gently, but at the moment it felt annoying, "was my brother. Mikey." Saying his name, after the not-so-great conversation they had just had, hurt like hell. The fact that his brother had hung up on him, hurt even more.
"Why were you raising your voices at each other?"
"It's not simple," Gerard said looking at Emily. No signs of mock or blame anywhere, she was just asking. Emily smiled lopsidedly. "It never is."
"I guess. But I don't feel like talking about it," Gerard said hoping the topic would drop. Of course, it didn't. "You know what? None of us feel like talking about shitty things," Emily said with powerful voice. She was sick of Gerard's self-something. "But if everyone would just hold it all inside, everyone would be messed up."
Gerard blinked, looked away and said nothing.
"You don't have to be some hero with no pain, you know," Emily said and walked over to her bed, kneeled to the floor and searched something from under it. Gerard looked at her and played her words on his head over and over again.
She murmured something with both hands under the bed now. Finally she pulled out a tin can.
"Like they say in that song that played on radio all the time like few years ago, not that often anymore, damn it, I know how it goes.. here, have a cookie." She had opened the can and held it out for Gerard, who took one despite the fact he was surprised how random Emily could be. Who kept cookies in a tin can under their bed? Who offered cookies just like that out of nowhere?
Emily kept murmuring when she went to place the can under the bed again, but when she got up, her face lightened. "Now I remember! It went something like 'I won't explain, won't say sorry, I'm gonna show my scar, give a cheer for all broken, I'm just a man, I'm not a hero'. You know that song?"
The chocolate chip cookie Gerard was eating tasted nothing but great, but Emily's voice made the crumbs stuck in his throat and he started coughing, hard. Emily rushed to pat his back.
"Thanks," Gerard said clearing his throat for the last time, "and yea, I know that song." Immediately he felt bad for lying to Emily. Great, like I'm not miserable enough all ready.
"It's a great song. Too bad I don't remember the artist," Emily said in wondering tone.
"Yeah," Gerard nodded, "too bad."
Emily looked at him. She had given him one of her comfort cookies, she always gave those to people who needed, well, little comfort. She had never been a very hugging person, but cookies did the same. She wondered what was so out of its place in Gerard's life. He had seemed so peaceful on the first time she had met him, but now in little time she had learned that wasn't the reality. She also wondered how it mattered so much to her.
"Should we go check on Ted?" Gerard asked lifting an eyebrow. He was mentally tired, a wreck, and he wanted to crawl back to his bed to sleep to rest of this awfully wrong gone day away. As much as he was disappointed by the fact he never got to kiss Emily, there were bigger things in his mind right now.

They left Emilys room, walked through the hallway and got to his room, all in silence. Gerard didn't pay any attention to it, his brothers words ran through his head, and Emily kept on wondering what was Gerard's mystery. Ted was just finishing, gathering his tools. When Emily asked what had been wrong with it, he mumbled something they couldn't translate to English.

"So," Emily said as Ted closed the door behind him and as Gerard wondered why she hadn't left with him, " is now a good time?"
Gerard sat on his bed and eyed her trying hard not to get annoyed. He believed she meant well, everyone around him did lately, but couldn't she see he wasn't on a sharing mood?
"Not really."
She smiled lopsidedly again and crossed her arms to her chest. "Look," she said determinately, "you don't have to talk to me. I know we only just met and all. But what I read from your phone call, you're not talking to anyone close to you either. Whatever this issue of yours is, bottling it all in isn't gonna help." She walked to the bed and sat next to him, turning her whole body to face him. Gerard kept his eyes nailed to something in the air before him.
"Actually, you don't have to talk about it," she said watching the walls, "you're an artist, you could always draw it. Pictures are always more true than words." By that, she got up and left. Gerard stared at nothing for a long time. If someone had seen him, they would've thought he had froze or something.

Lisa quickened her pace as she walked towards her friend's motel, and home. They had decided to eat something before Emilys evening shift started, and as usual Lisa knew she was late.
She got in quickly, and smiled to Emilys father behind the counter. "Hello Mr. Reyes," she smiled. When the man recognised her, his wrinkly face turned into smile too.
"Hello Lisa, did you come to see Emily?"
"Sure thing," Lisa said and walked to the elevator.
"Wait a moment, I believe she's still with one of the quests, who had a un-working bathroom," Mr. Reyes said and slowly clicked the mouse of the computer few times. "Oh," Lisa said and headed to the counter.
"Yees, " he said looking the screen over his glasses, "she's taking care of Mr. Gerard Way's room. But his room seems to be on the same floor as hers, so maybe you could go wait there? I'm sure it won't take long."
Lisa thanked him and went for the elevators again. As she got in, her eyes widened, as she counted two plus two. Emily was with the guy. And the guy's name was Gerard Way. Lisa knew Emily watched TV almost never, news and documents if anything, and she listened to radio very seldom too. The name wouldn't have ringed a bell in her head, but it sure ringed on in Lisa's head. Sure there was the possibility of same named man, with the same age, on same areas, but for some reason she didn't even take that possibility under consideration. As the elevator got her higher, her facial expression got more and more disbelief on it.

"Let me get this straight," Bob's fiancée Ginger said sitting on their bed as Bob measured the distance of the bed and the wardrobe, "Gerard talked with Frank this morning, telling he feels completely alone and lost, asks Frank not to tell anyone, which he does anyway, then Mikey calls him and yells at him and tries to get him come home.."
"Yup."
"..and when he says no, Mikey decides he has to get there, and now you're all gonna go?"
"Yeah," Bob answered at the same time as he placed another t-shirt to his bag. He wasn't sure they were doing the right thing. Running to New York with their heads as the third legs, confronting Gerard and then helping him with the thing the poor guy himself couldn't fully understand? He didn't feel too good about it. But he knew they had to do it. For few reasons; they had no another idea, staying home wasn't an options 'cause Mikey was dead serious about going, and 'cause doing nothing would've given them only hopelessness. He didn't want that. Doing the slightly crazy and un-through thought thing felt better than doing nothing.
"Oh well, luckily that doesn't sound too crazy," Ginger said. She was worried, for Gerard, for Mikey, for Bob, for everybody. Bob sneered and zipped his bag. Ginger grabbed his hand.
"Bob?" The look on her eyes was so confused and worried, Bob wanted to squeeze her to his arms and hug the worrying away. He sat next to her and put his other arm around her.
"It's just something we have to do, Gin," he sighed, "mostly it doesn't make sense, but fuck, we can't just sit and do nothing. We shouldn't have let him leave, it would've been hell of a lot easier, but we can't change that anymore."
Ginger wrapped her arms around him and buried her face to his shoulder. Bob smiled and kissed the top of her hair. He was so happy he had found this little, but amazing woman. They didn't match each others "Features I want in a guy/girl"-lists and nobody would've thought they'd become an item. When Bob had seen Ginger for the first time as a member of their tour crew, he had misheard her name. He called her with a wrong name for ages, until Ginger came up to him one day and totally dissed him for being so rude.
"Don't worry. What ever this shit is, we'll solve it. Just like we've solved everything else that has hit us," Bob said. He hoped he sounded convincing, but most importantly he hoped it was the truth.