Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > The Art Of Loathing Brendon Urie

Chapter Three: Singing In the Shower

by peterpandacomplex 0 reviews

Singing and yelling

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Published: 2007-06-07 - Updated: 2007-06-07 - 2907 words

Chapter Three: Singing In the Shower

Coco-puffs poured into the chipped, light-blue plastic bowl in front of Lexie. Milk followed suit. After managing to acquire a spoon, Lexie sighed, sitting down in the chair. Lexie was one of those extremely rare people that look amazing in the morning. Even with her hair a skewed, her body unwashed, and the slight shading of bags underneath her eyes, she looked great. Her IPOD sang in her ears, at a level where no other person could hear what she was listening to. She looked so calm, so sweet, so vulnerable, and so human with the music coursing through her head. Even Brendon Urie, who had been yelled at and snapped at by her all night long, thought she was beautiful. Well at least he did in the one moment that he stood in the doorframe watching her. In that moment, she had forgotten that he was there; she thought she was alone like she normally was. Unfortunately for Brendon, his presence did not go unnoticed. Lexie put her bowl away into the dishwasher and straightened up, catching sight of Brendon. Her entire composure changed. No longer was it light and free, but rather it was the cold and inhumane demeanor of the night before. She stopped her IPOD and spoke. "Eat whatever you want, find it yourself, cook it yourself, don't burn the house down. Stay down here, I'll be back," Lexie started walking up the staircase nearby.

"Where are you going? What are you doing?" Brendon asked, trying to have a conversation.

"I'm working out," She said simply not even looking at Brendon before continuing to walk up the stairs.

After managing to cook some eggs on a frying pan, whilst not burning down the house, Brendon put away his dishes. Lexie was still not back yet. What is she doing? She couldn't honestly be working out, could she? Brendon thought with curiosity. She must have been up there for an hour by now! Brendon decided to go upstairs, to find out what Lexie was really doing. As he ascended the stairwell, he began to hear music. It was coming from the second door on the left side of the hallway. On that account, he headed that way.

The door was slightly open to the room where music was coming from. Brendon stuck his head in and saw something he never expected to. Lexie, was dancing. It was an empty room. Nothing but mirrored walls and some special material on the floors. Well, that and her IPOD stand. The most surprising thing was that she was good. The song's music seemed to overflow out of her, through her fingertips and toes and other ligaments. Her body twisted, turned, jumped and soared through the air as if she was born to do exactly that. Sweat glistened off of her forehead, and she had even changed into some type of full-body leotard. On her face, she even wore a smile. Lexie was letting out all her emotions, her frustration and anger, and passion and pain out through dance. It was spectacular to watch. When the song was done she collapsed to the floor and simply laid there, face up.

Brendon accidentally sneezed. When someone sneezes, it is quite normal to sneeze once or twice. In fact not many people are able to physically sneeze more than this. There is a slight exception with this theory when it come to Brendon Urie. When Brendon Urie sneezes, he doesn't just sneeze once, or twice or even three times. Nope, when Brendon Urie sneezes, he sneezes quite a few more times than that. His all time recorded high was 38 times in a row. However his friends do tend to loose track while he's sneezing so it could be even more than that. So while Brendon was standing in the doorframe watching Lexie for the second time that day, and started sneezing, Lexie looked up and saw him. Saw him sneezing. And sneezing. And sneezing a few more times.

Lexie waited for him to stop sneezing before talking once more. "I thought, that I told you to stay downstairs!" she yelled at him. Lexie could barely contain her anger at Brendon. What is his problem? Lexie thought while glaring at Brendon. Suddenly her cell phone rang. Lexie had to run to the other side of the room before even starting to dig through her purse to get to it. All the while it continued to ring singing:

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot./He was not afraid to die, /O brave Sir Robin./He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,/Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,/Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,/To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away/And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out/And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged/And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off/His penis split and...

Upon hearing her ring tone Brendon became afraid; very afraid. She must really hate men Brendon thought. Lexie ended up dumping the contents of her purse all over the floor to even have a chance of catching it in time. "Hello!" Lexie screamed into the phone as she flipped it open. "One Missed Call" Read the phone. Lexie groaned as she hit the correct buttons to call the person who called her, Kiersten, back.

Kiersten started off in frenzy the moment that she answered the phone. "Oh my God, Lexie! We can't find Brendon! He hasn't come back yet with the car after he left your house and we have been trying his cell phone and it's either off or dead! We don't know what happened to him. He could be anywhere, what if some crazy fan got to him? What if they kidnapped him and he's tied up somewhere and people are performing a strange voodoo dance around him trying to make him spontaneously combust! You have to help us find him. I don't care that you don't like him but he's apart of the band and if he is dead then I don't know what we are going to do. How fast can you get here? We need to start looking for Brendon!" Kiersten managed to say with a single breath in a single moment.

As she started to continue on with her ramble, Lexie interrupted Kiersten, as she started putting the contents of her purse back into it. "Kiersten? Calm down. He's right here. Standing in front of me."


"Benji broke down again," Lexie informed Kiersten about her car, "So he had to stay over."

"So he's there? With you?"

"Yes," Lexie said, now bored. "He is, and you guys will have to pick us up in a few hours so I can pack, shower, get ready and all that jazz."

"Ok, sure!" Kiersten exclaimed suddenly calm again. "Do you mind if we get there early so we can pack together?"

"Not at all!" Lexie smiled, "We can stuff extra things in each others bags and such."

"Okay, see you in an hour or so!" Lexie looked at her watch as Kiersten said this. It was already 12:30 pm. This meant that she had been dancing for an entire hour already! Unfortunately her dancing caused her to be sweaty, so she needed to take a shower. Walking back over near Brendon she spoke, "You didn't call them?"

"No, my cell-phone is dead,"

"I figured. Go away I need to shower," She said stepping past him and walking towards her bathroom.

Unsure on what he was supposed to do, Brendon Urie walked into Lexie's "dance room". In the corner of the room stood her IPOD stand. Lexie had a black video IPOD which, Brendon saw, had the words 'You make our life sing' on the back, underneath the clear plastic cover. Wanting to see what type of music she listened to, he flipped it over and went into the library. He saw that she had KT Tunstall, Spamalot, Beyonce, Wicked, James Blunt, Enya, Veggie Tales, Natalie Cole, Hillary Duff, Ella Fitzgerald, Franz Ferdinand, Weird Al Yankovic, and surprise of all surprises... Panic! At The Disco. It wasn't a lot of songs and the choices seemed completely random and different from one another. She had Panic! At The Disco when she didn't even have any Fall Out Boys CD on it. Actually, it seemed just like something Lexie would do. Something that doesn't make sense, that is.

Deciding to venture back down stairs and wait for Lexie to get out of the shower, Brendon moseyed out of the 'dance room'. Just as he was about to walk down the stairs, he heard singing. Beautiful singing, and it seemed as if it were coming to him, from a room nearby. As he walked towards it, not only did the singing get stronger, but also he could hear the shower running. It's Lexie! Brendon thought, astonished. Lexie was singing without music, it was a song from the Wicked soundtrack. The song Defying Gravity came from Lexie's lips. Her voice was soft, her tone was rich; she sounded angelic. Brendon didn't realize that he had been just standing there, listening to her sing, until he heard the water turn off, and curtains move as Lexie continued to passionately sing For Good, still from the Wicked soundtrack.

Quickly, Brendon flung himself down the stairs and onto a chair in front of the Kitchen table. His adrenaline pumping, he tried to breath in and out normally. Thankfully, Lexie still had to dress and get ready for the day so he had time to compose himself. Brendon had barely caught up with himself when Lexie came down the stairs.

She was dressed to kill. Her outfit was the kind of clothes that on almost anyone it looks positively horrid, but on Lexie it looked amazing. It was a dress, which went just past her knees, and was fire red. Also there was a woven belt around her waist, she had on cowboy boots in the same color as her belt and long dangling earrings which were red. The second that she saw Brendon, she glared at him, as if to say, "Do you see how amazing I can look? How drop dead, pray one last time because you might just die, beatific I can look? Do you see this?!?!" But she said no words. Brendon found it hard to believe that the amazing voice that he had heard singing in the shower came from this tyrant... Okay, so Brendon thought she looked stunning, but she was a demon inside! Right? "Well, say something, don't just sit there with your mouth hanging open like an idiot," Lexie declared as she gave Brendon a weird look, before starting to dig through her purse to find her cell-phone.

"Um..." Started Brendon, just as Lexie retrieved her cell-phone from her purse's clutches.

Completely ignoring Brendon, Lexie dialed Kiersten on speed dial. "Hey, Kiersten, are you coming over soon at all? I'm showered and all. An hour? Ok fine, see you then!" Lexie finished.

"Do you want clothes?" Lexie offered to Brendon.

He nodded. "Do you have a brother or something, who's clothes I can borrow?"

"No, but come up with me I have a huge wardrobe with as much variety as in my IPOD music," She hinted at the fact that she knew he had touched her IPOD. Lexie started to walk up the stairs. "Well, come on!" She ordered, looking back at Brendon.

He raised his eyebrows as he entered into her room. The walls were a golden sun-shine yellow and she had little pieces of paper up all over her walls. They looked like notes to her, Brendon leaned up close to one and read it,

Dear Lexie,
I absolutely love your spirit. You throw your heart into everything you do and are never are afraid to show who you are. I wish I had a heart and attitude like yours, loving, willing, kind, caring, selfless, you never judge people by their looks or anything like that. When-ever you walk into a room, your smile lightens it up, and every time something went wrong you didn't' let that bother you. Happiness beams through you, you are a great friend and I love you. You are extra special.
Stephanie Fillion

What was this "Stephanie Fillion" person talking about! No way was this to Lexie... No way... Brendon thought as he realized he was receiving a cold look from Lexie, "Closet's this way." As Brendon passed several more notes on her walls, he noticed that they were all encouraging notes. Also she had a full size bed doused in comforters that looked soft as clouds, with pillows upon pillows covering it. It looked fun to jump on, but Brendon resisted the urge. Along with her encouraging notes on the walls, there were three other extremely noticeable things. One was that she had about seven small posters that said things like, "Everything I Do Deserves My Best Effort." "I Believe In Myself", "I Am Unique and Valuable." "I Respect Individual Differences." "Every Challenge, Offer the Gift." "That Was Then This Is WOW" and "I Am Responsible For What I Create." Another noticeable thing was that she had pictures posted on her walls. Pictures of her, of Kiersten, of other people, all having fun, or doing weird things, and there were pictures of completely random things too. For instance, there was a picture of grass, a picture of a cup of coffee a picture of water splashing and so many other things. The last thing about her room, was the words on the blank parts of the walls. Brendon didn't get the chance to see what they said though, because Lexie snapped at him, "Come on! Do you want some clothes or not?"

Grudgingly Brendon followed Lexie into her closet, not expecting to find anything there for him to wear. As the first thing he saw was rows and rows of dresses, he looked at Lexie like she was a Freak! I am not going to wear a dress Brendon almost stopped himself from thinking that has sequins on it! I'm a guy I don't wear dresses! As soon as he looked at Lexie he sighed. She was standing in front of very guy-ish clothes. Baggy pants, boxers, grubby t-shirts. "What can I wear?" Brendon asked.

"Anything you want. I'll be downstairs. Don't touch anything!" Lexie ordered, walking out of her closet.

Brendon grabbed some different outfits to see if any would fit. Surprisingly they did. He ended up choosing some baggy jeans (they fit better than most baggy jeans on account of Lexie being smaller than Brendon.) And a red T-shirt which said With a Shirt This Cool Who Needs Pants? on it's front. On the back it had a vendiagram, which was labeled as such. The right circle was labeled, "Times I am truly happy" and the left circle was labeled "Times I am wearing pants". The best part of it was that the two circles were not overlapping. After throwing them on, Brendon went out to look more at Lexie's room.

Any normal teenager would have clothes all over the floor, but Lexie didn't. Brendon walked directly up to one of the things Lexie had written and saw that it was a poem. He looked at another, that one was probably lyrics to a song. Her words were so eloquent, descriptive and emotional. They were all dated too. He read one after another after another. He read another note to her this one simply said:

Your smile is brighter than the sun

Disbelieving this all, he reaad more of her lyrics and poems. Brendon was caught up in it. He moved on to some right next to her bed, he couldn't read the tiny writing so he climbed up on the bed, which turned out to be as soft as it looked, and started to read more.

He didn't even notice when Lexie appeared in the doorframe. "What. Are. You. Doing? I am nice enough to let you sleep in my house, not poison your food, give you clothing and not be overly mean to you and yet you keep on insisting on getting on my nerves. Why are you up here, reading my work, something personal, while on my bed! When I told you specifically to meet me downstairs? Your buddies have come with Kiersten and so she and I need to pack now. But you need to get out of my room!" Lexie finished yelling as several pairs of feet ran up the staircase to see what the yelling was about.

Ryan appeared from around the corner. He mouthed silently to Brendon "What are you doing!" To which, Brendon shrugged.

Lexie gave a loud sigh before turning around and starting to walk. "In case you are wondering," She yelled loudly, her voice ringing throughout her house, "that means you should get out of my room!" Lexie turned to Kiersten who was standing next to her. "So, what are we doing today after we pack?"

"Navy Peir." Kiersten declared.

"Fun, fun, fun." Lexie approved while hugging Kiersten for the first time that day.
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