Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Black Parade

Without You Is How I Disappear

by PansyxLero 0 reviews

Moving the unmoving, dealing with the undealt

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst, Fantasy, Romance - Characters: Gerard Way - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2007-06-18 - Updated: 2007-06-19 - 1801 words

0Unrated
Twiggy awoke the same way as she had previously. The creaking of the house, and the drip of the old tap haunted her; and she still expected someone to show up out of nowhere; as if nothing had ever happened.

She was still playing with the idea of leaving however. She didn't want to sell the house; but what would it matter? She doubted as though she would ever raise a family in it. Nothing was keeping her in the area; apart from one person.

Twiggy was rather confused about Gerard, she couldn't figure him out. Heck, he even made her not understand her own self. She had never felt such a mix of happiness, but sadness around him; her stomach would tighten, and her head would throb. But it was stupid.

Love at first sight wasn't real; it was a sort of fairytale. Twiggy knew that; and she was probably only infatuated with him, but she wasn't sure. If it wasn't love, then why did she just want to lock him up away from everyone else? Why did her heart thump as though it would jump out of her chest?

It was preposterous to even think about! She barely knew the man. But that still didn't answer why she didn't want to leave him. She wanted to leave the area; just not him. Would he go with her? Or, would he be able to help her through it all- she didn't know.

All she was sure of was that the hurt she was feeling, the pain and frustration; it was even stronger than it previously was. A part of her, was wishing the feelings away.. the other half was so confused, it didn't know what to do. It was safe to say there was a war starting inside of her; one she didn't know who would win.

She got dressed earlier that day, and headed off to the same coffee shop as she had yesterday; maybe in some desperate attempt to see Gerard again. However, upon further inspection on the place; she found it ultimately deserted.

There were few people inside; a homeless man who sat in the furthest corner reading one of the newspapers. A young woman and a child who looked around four or five. An elderly couple, and various other people. But without Gerard in there, it seemed deserted.

"Excuse me," a voice said, pushing past her through the door. Twiggy frowned and watched as he ordered his drink. He was obviously in a hurry; but she had never seen him around these parts before. Deciding he was just a traveller, Twiggy turned on her heel outside and into the street.

It was rather cold outside, causing Twiggy to tighten her hoodie around her; trying to keep out the bleak bite of the wind, as though it were some kind of animal nipping at her. It seemed to her the weather had caught her mood, and it didn't seem to be changing any time soon.

She walked through the streets for a good hour or so, mainly looking for that familiar face so she wouldn't have to disappear without him. But, she could find no trace of him. She inwardly cursed at her stupidness at not getting his address so she could go see him.

Realising she wasn't going to find an answer traipsing through the various back alleys, Twiggy headed off to the one place she knew, she may be able to find her answer.



Gerard had woken up late that day, he had been up late the previous night, finishing off his sketch. Drawing was his favourite hobby, something he did all the time. It helped him to think, and it helped him analyse situations.

Gerard liked to analyse things, you see. He liked to make sure he knew all about it, before going near it. If he didn't, he would regard the subject as some kind of poisonous plant that may attack him.

Only, there was one thing he couldn't quite understand. Twiggy was confusing him. One minute she was all he could think about, the next he thought about her so much it made him ill. He barely knew this girl; but he knew what he was feeling for her. He just wouldn't accept it.

Gerard Arthur Way, would not accept that maybe he was falling for Janie Clements, the girl he knew as Twiggy. He put his feelings down to the fact she just suffered a great loss, and she was lonely. He was being the sympathetic person he was; he was just caring and worried about her. Convincing himself, wasn't going as it should.

Quickly he ran into the town, wanting to see her. At least make sure she was okay; but he didn't know where to look. He went to the only place he could look, though maybe if he hadn't of been so stupid and gotten her address he wouldn't be in this predicament.

The street outside the small coffee store was empty; even the cars had given up driving on the old, beaten up road. It must have been late, he wasn't sure. Gerard bore no watch on his wrist. He pushed open the door to the small cafe, and glanced around.

Inside it was seemingly empty. There were at least one or two couples sat around drinking coffee, a homeless person who was always in there; it occurred to Gerard that maybe he just didn't leave. Other than that; there was no one of interest. There was no Twiggy.

Sighing, he walked back into the street, and stared up at the sky as it began to rain. Great, just great. Deciding it was best he head home before he caught a cold, he ended up turning on his heel and heading the way he came.



Night led Twiggy to the cemetery; she hadn't expected to end up there so soon again. She was actually avoiding the place. She had her closure, she had said goodbye; but now she needed to know what to do. Although, in the back of her mind she wasn't sure what she was actually doing there.

It had begun to rain a few moments before she entered the area. She regretted not bringing something to keep her dry, but she didn't care much. All she wished was that her problems would wash away with the rain.

Twiggy gave a saddened smile, before kneeling in front of her mother's grave and tracing her fingers over the engraving. They already seemed further away from her than she ever thought they would be.

"Without you is how I disappear," she whispered, rubbing her eyes; before jumping slightly at voices from behind her.

"What're you doing here?"

The voice was soft yet strong, but it held some kind of poison behind it. Something told her, this wasn't the best situation to be in. Standing up, she turned to face the group of four behind her. They were various heights, and of various looks.

The one who had spoken was the shortest, and had messy black hair. From what she could see, he also had hazel coloured eyes. She had heard about insane criminals in the area, the type who kidnap a defenseless woman; she never thought she would be in the predicament though. "Who-Who are you?" She asked.

"Who are we?" the shortest asked, before smirking; revealing two fangs. Twiggy's eyes widened in shock; Vampires were not real. And yet, four stood in front of her. "Well, I don't know about these idiots, but I'm the leader of The Black Parade."

Twiggy raised an eyebrow, about to ask what exactly it was; but she was cut off by the tall skinny one. "Frank, I thought we agreed that none of us was the leader."

Frank waved him off. "Mikey, I decided I want to be leader."

"Well that's not fair," Mikey spat.

"Will the pair of you cut that out?" The tallest sighed, rubbing his head. "Please ignore them."

Twiggy laughed nervously, not really sure of what to say, do or make of the situation. "Um, so.. what's this black parade?" she asked, breaking up their bickering.

"You.. Don't know?" Frank asked, laughing.

"Of course she doesn't know, idiot," the one who hadn't spoken yet, growled.

"Whatever, Bob," Frank sneered at him. "The black parade is us. The four surviving Vampires from the area."

"What do you mean, 'surviving'?" Twiggy asked, raising her eyebrows. "I thought Vampires were immortal."

"We are," Mikey answered. "But everyone else was gotten by Vampire hunters years ago. We're not evil though; we wont hurt you."

Twiggy let her breath go, but she wasn't about to fully let her guard down. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," Frank answered. "If we were going to hurt you; we would of done it by now." Frank let out a laugh, then looked past Twiggy, towards her mothers grave. "You know her?"

Twiggy frowned, and shuffled around uncomfortably. "Yes... She was- is, my mother."

The group of four were quiet for a while, obviously not knowing what to say. "Then, you must be in some sort of emotional pain, right?" Frank asked, a slight smirk growing on his face. "Then I have a deal for you!"

"W-What?" Twiggy asked, taken back. Frank now seemed like a salesman, and she wasn't going to trust him. She didn't know if she could trust him in the first place.

"How about this; I can get rid of all of your feelings; the pain and hate you feel," Frank paused, his smirk growing better. "And in exchange you take my immortality."

"Aw, Frank that's no fair," Mikey mumbled.

"Hush up," Frank snickered. "Whadd'ya say.... Twiggy?"

Twiggy's eye's grew slightly wide, watching Frank as he let out a slight laugh. "I get it, you need some time to think. Well," he paused. "We're here most nights, but you only have until the end of the week; then my offer runs out."

She watched their retreating backs, and swallowed the built up fear in her throat. She had no idea what was happening, let alone if she could trust them. But then again, she would of done anything to get rid of the pain she felt. How alone she felt... She, just wasn't sure if that would erase her feelings for Gerard; but if it did, she would probably be able to leave without him. But why did Frank seem so eager to give up his immortality? It probably wasn't as cracked up was it was supposed to be; living, and never dying. Dying was a part of life, and not dying would be like not living.

This was when she really did need advice; she just hoped that maybe Gerard wouldn't call her crazy for talking about Vampires, and the nights events.
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