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Monica dropped off Ray and headed back to Jamia's. Tonight Ray was planning on giving Christa the teddy and the ring. She smiled thinking how romantic what he had planned sounded. Ray had tried not to let it show but he was excited and a bit nervous.
Christa and Jamia were both sleeping when she let herself into the apartment. Christa woke and sat up, "Hey, what time is it?" she rubbed her eyes and reached over for her glasses she had sat on the coffee table.
"Just a bit before three. Thanks again for coming over. I really don't feel comfortable leaving her alone." She gestured to Jamia who was still sleeping.
'Hey anytime. It was nice getting to know her. I still feel kinda strange not knowing Ray's friends very well." she stood, "Well I better be getting home. Ray didn't even call me once. I swear that man drives me crazy."
"Did you guys have lunch?" Monica was wondering if she needed to make Jamia a snack.
"Yeah, I made us some sandwiches. Oh, there was a call for you, but she wouldn't leave her name."
"What did she say?" Monica wondered why would be calling her here at Jamia's. Her first thought was Donna but she know she would have left a message or called her cell phone.
"She just asked for you and when I said you weren't here she said she would call back later." Christa stood and stretched. "Thanks for asking me to come and stay with Jamia."
"Thank you for doing it. I'm gonna start dinner in about an hour. Are you sure you can't stay?"
Christa shook her head, "No I really wanna get back to Ray. I know it sound silly cause it's only been a few hours but I miss him."
Monica smiled, "It doesn't sound silly at all. Tell him I said hi." Monica said pretending she hadn't just saw Ray.
"I will." She started towards the door, "Ask me anytime you want and I'll come over and stay with Jamia."
Leaning over impulsively, Monica gave Christa a hug. Christa looked shocked but quickly recovered. She looked as if she was about to ask Monica something but just smiled and walked out.


The crowd loved them. The energy and the love overwhelmed the group. "Nurburg let me hear you scream...fuck yeah." Gerard launched into 'Sharpest Lives' as the screaming became deafening. This song, written about the lifestyle he had lived during the drug and alcohol period of his life, always had a strong impact on him. As he sang 'if I crash on the couch can I sleep in my clothes' he remembered all the times he had done just that. He remembered all the times Liv had been there right beside him. He physically shook his head to clear the memories.
He managed to keep her from this thoughts until he began to sing "I Don't Love You Anymore" She was the woman in the song. Why he wondered was he thinking about her? The rest of the concert went by in a blur, he performed with all the intensity he always gave but when they left the stage his emotions crashed. The question was asked in the darkened backstage hall.
"You were thinking about her, weren't you?"
"You always know what I'm thinking?" he asked.
The laughter was instantaneous, "I was there, remember? When she wounded you I tried to bandage you up. Loving you was like loving a man in a glass prison, I could see you but I couldn't touch you. But I always knew what you were thinking."
Frank walked by, 'Gee, Monica's waiting for you to call." He reminded his friend softly.
Gerard looked at him, he knew what Frank was trying to tell him. "I'll call her as soon as I get back to the hotel."
Frank stopped and turned, "Want me to wait for you? We can go back together."
Gerard looked down, "No, I've got some stuff to do." He mumbled,
Frank frowned but said nothing. Shit he hoped Jamia wasn't right.


Ray was sitting at the computer when Christa let herself into the apartment. "Hey babe, how's Jamia?'
"She's feeling fine. We watched a movie and then both of us fell asleep." She walked over, stood behind the computer chair and hugged him. "So what did you do while I was gone?"
"Just looking on YouTube, some fans have posted some great video of the London show." He clicked on another link.
Christa stood and walked across the room to the sofa, "So Ray, are you gonna mention that Monica was here?"
Ray swiveled in the chair, "What are you talking about?"
"When I was getting ready to leave she hugged me. It was weird having another woman smell like my Ray." She stared at him without blinking. It was unnerving how she could do that. Ray thought fast.
"She did stop by but I didn't mention it because she asked me not to. She's been worried about Gee. She said when he calls he sounds tired and kind of distracted. I guess she thought that maybe he had called me and that I knew something."
Christa continued to stare, "Okay" she said slowly. "But he hasn't called you has he?"
"No" he said with a frown, "I kinda thought he would have but I guess they are really busy." Truth be told he was hurt that Gerard hadn't called him. Frank had called to see how he was and even honeymooning Mikey had phoned.
Christa stood, "I'm gonna search the kitchen and decide what looks good for dinner. Any suggestions?"
Ray had turned back to the computer, "No whatever you want is fine with me." He clicked on another link and a picture appeared that made him stare. Oh hell he thought maybe the lie he told Christa wasn't really a lie after all. Could this be why Gerard hadn't called him? Had Monica noticed anything like he had told Christa? He clicked the photo off and decided to try to call Gee himself.

Kelly sat on the back porch staring at the cell phone in her hand. She looked at her watch and was sure that the concert was over. She wanted to call Gerard but she wasn't sure why. Would he be mad if she did? He told her once she could call anytime she wanted. She pushed the button and waited.
The noise in the background was so loud Kelly could barely hear him. "Hello, Kell" he answered.
"Hey Gee, I just wanted to call to tell you something."
Gerard looked at the others at the table then turned slightly, "Okay"
Kelly paused a moment then said with conviction, "I love you Gerard. I just want you to remember that. Mom and Kara too. We all love you very much."
Gerard didn't respond immediately, he wanted to know what was going on in her head. He started to get up from the table, "Kell"
She spoke before he could say anything else, "That's all I wanted to say." She closed her phone and lowered her head.