Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > We're Both On Borderline Obsession
Hurdle #2: Does Life Go On...Without You?
5 reviewsSomeone's feeling...sick. Not just internally, but externally.
0Unrated
A/N: 2.30 AM. I'm sorry if this chapter becomes way too cheesy, unbelievable, or incomprehensible or whatnot. I also apologize for not updating sooner. I figure by this time, any more alibies (sp?) are pretty much unacceptable, so I won't give any type of excuse for my lack of updating here...
I do intend to keep up with memorable quotes. This may refresh your memory on what happened last chapter:
"Yeah, we should. I don't know where Ryan would go anyways, since we carpooled here together," Jon said in a confused manner before getting up with a groan. His leg had fallen asleep while he was sitting on the couch.
***************
"Here we go." Sarah let out an exhausted sigh, as she parked her car near Brendon's trailer. She watched Brendon sit still in his chair. A moment passed. "Oh, right." Brendon murmured, and opened the car door, ready to get out. Sarah touched his shoulder. Brendon turned in his chair.
"Just hang on, okay?" She smiled, and half-hugged Brendon. Brendon felt numb to her touch, felt numb to everything in the world. He couldn't feel a sensation in his body. He couldn't feel his stomach growl when he was hungry. He couldn't hear his mind telling him to FUNCTION.
***************
The sad part was that he only had 9 lines, whereas Geets had 21 lines to memorize.
I'm losing it. I'm really losing it.
***************
Brendon felt numb to her touch, felt numb to everything in the world. He couldn't feel a sensation in his body. He couldn't feel his stomach growl when he was hungry. He couldn't hear his mind telling him to FUNCTION.
***************
"I didn't know either, but...Maybe we should call Derek and tell him Brendon took a bad fall, and-" Spencer was cut off abruptly, though, by Sarah again.
"Are you kidding me? TELL him that he fell?" Sarah seemed agitated by all of this.
***************
Thanks to: all my reviewers. I think the reason why I haven't been having a good sleep lately is because of the guilt...that I haven't been contacting (or tending) to you guys. So this is dedicated to every single person who has ever given up two minutes of their day to review to me.
Chapter Fourteen: Hurdle #2: Does Life Go On...Without You?
He saw the lithe form of her body as she slowly peeled the soaked-through dress off her pale, pale skin. He could see her spine sticking out of the flesh of her back. The sopping summer dress fell to the floor. Perfect skin. Perfect calves. She was so goddamned perfect.
But is it still me that makes her sweat? He asked himself quietly, in his head, submersed in his thoughts. She couldn't see him. Nor will she ever see him. Her back was facing him, and he was standing in the doorway.
Slowly, she collapsed onto her bed. Her perfect dark-brown locks were plastered to her back. It almost looked like...sweat. If you didn't know it was raining outside, you would've thought she was sweating. The sheen of 'sweat' could be seen in the flicker of the candlelight in her bedroom. The lights were dim. Very dim. She then pulled the covers over her body. Only the back of her head faced him now. So does she think about me in bed? He thought anxiously, twisting his wrists. He was so nervous. And for what reason, he couldn't fathom.
Little did he know that someone else was about to enter the room. A dark-haired man, buff, but not overly muscled, walked in from the adjoining bathroom. He was partially naked; only a towel wrapped around his waist. Who the hell's that?! Brendon thought as he sucked in his cheeks. Whoever he is...I hope to god he's worth it. Brendon smirked, and watched the man caress Alice's neck. This was when Brendon's eyes bugged out of his sockets. NO! THAT'S NOT HAPPENING!
Brendon felt himself walk up to the man. Tap the man's shoulder. The man didn't look back. And Brendon didn't know how, but he held up a butcher's knife...as it slowly...descended...onto...the man's back. Brendon dug the knife deep in between the man's shoulders. Alice should know that it would always be HIM...not some other guy.
LET'S GET THESE TEEN HEARTS BEATING FASTER, FASTER!
*
"Ah!" Brendon yelled, and gasped for air. He was sweating all over-ironic, huh?-and he could hear pounding at his door. He groaned, and wiped his sweaty face with the back of his hand. Why did he feel so hot? Why did he think that...?
He didn't believe dreams were real. So why did that feel like it was so...right? Like it had actually happened? That his Alice was cheating on him? She's not mine, and she's not cheating on me. A small portion of his mind thought. He didn't get too far with his thoughts though, before Jon burst through the door.
Jon asked quickly, "Jesus Christ, man. Where've you been? You need to get out on set."
He walked on over to Brendon, before becoming pale-faced. In a lower voice, he asked, "Are you okay?" Brendon seemed to shiver under the covers, and Jon held a tentative hand to Brendon's burning forehead.
Brendon emitted a small whimper, and whispered, "Do I have a fever?" He watched Jon silently nod his head in response. "Man...shit. You're burning up." Jon said warily. A very awkward silence fell upon the two of them before Jon sped out of the trailer, yelling, "Brendon's got a fever!"
Inside the trailer, Brendon couldn't do anything but moan. What he needed now was comfort. He didn't need anyone causing more headaches (Jon yelling, for example) and he definitely didn't need to be crowded or looked over...which became inevitable, since Spencer, Jon, and his director came running into his trailer. Obviously worried. Obviously scared. And obviously...mad.
Derek murmured, "Fetch the doctor." When no-one responded, he repeated with more firmness in his voice: "NOW." And just like that, Spencer and Jon dispersed to reach for a cell phone and the yellow pages. Derek himself left the room, after shortly looking over Brendon with overall disappointment.
Brendon had let Derek down by not keeping his health. All day, every day it was only Alice on his mind. Now, he had to deal with it physically-he was utterly sick. Brendon had let his cast down: how were they supposed to continue filming if they had their main guy missing? Worse, he had let his band down. They meant more to him than the movie. They were there for him since day one, and now he could barely sing for them. He could barely croak. (But what good would that have done anyways, since Ryan was pissed off at him for never cooperating due to the absence of Alice?)
Brendon thought contemplatively. This time, he thought about a huge field of flowers...as he ran up to Alice...and slowly, on this huge field of flowers situated on a pink-cotton-candy-looking cloud...he leaned in...to kiss her...
And before he passed out, he had one more image on his mind: them monstrously fucking.
*
The next time he woke up, he didn't recognize his surroundings. Before he could raise an arm, lift a finger, or scream, "Where the fuck am I?" He saw a head on his lap. Eventually, Brendon managed to peer over the white sheets that smelled of medicine. Please let it be Alice, please let it be Alice, please let it be Alice...
He should've known it wouldn't have been Alice. No. It was Ryan. Only his most pissed-off-buddy-of-the-moment. Ryan fucking Ross. Frustrated, Brendon leaned back onto his pillow. Groaning. Wishing he wasn't alive. He felt Ryan stir on his lap, but Brendon couldn't bring himself to wake his friend up...After all, he still felt his burning fever.
It was time Brendon observed his surroundings. An IV was embedded into his left wrist. That was all Brendon needed to notice that he was in the hospital. A few carnations and a bunch of orchids sat in a jade colored vase on the table next to his bed.
As he struggled to get up, he felt leather bindings on his wrists. He tried to move his ankles. No go. What the hell...?
No. He was not strapped to a gurney!
Urie, what's wrong with you? You had a mini fever, and now you're strapped to a gurney?
Shut UP. The voice in his head replied coldly to his other voice.
Ryan didn't look like he was going to wake up. What time was it, anyways? Brendon squinted his eyes to look at the clock across the room, which read: 1:00
But one o' clock what? AM? PM?
Brendon assumed 'AM' due to lack of light and nurses in the room. Why was Ryan allowed during non-visitor time, then? Or did they just make him a special exception, because...wait. What's this? Brendon just noticed a notepad that lay next to Ryan's head. Why didn't he see it before? Was it a note from Alice to him? Did Ryan get a voice message from Alice and write it out to give to Brendon? What was it?
These ideas raced through Brendon's mind quickly, as he tried with all his might to reach for the notepad. But the gurney wouldn't let him. The bindings wouldn't make it any easier for him. He wanted to punch something, but figured it would wake Ryan up.
But after a whole twenty-five minutes later and a lot of body movement, Brendon had the notepad on his chest. He could look down onto his chest easily, but what he didn't have was enough light. The writing was basically chicken scratch, and that made it a whole lot easier for Brendon to read. Not.
He picked out some words, though:
Different prospective.
Okay, yes, Ryan liked to write in different prospectives. But only when he wrote lyrics for a song. Brendon rolled his eyes, but tried to continue to read:
Flowers...Rain fall...dying...
It looked like brainstorming. Was Ryan attempting to write another song? Brendon thought Ryan was fed up with Brendon. Maybe Ryan finally decided he needed some help, and decided to ask Brendon when he realized that Brendon was in the hospit-
No. Ryan was never like that. Because Ryan is a genius.
Then, Brendon read:
Brendon's prospective.
But the writing ended there! Brendon stared at the paper, wide-eyed. He shifted his gaze to Ryan, whose saliva had started to dribble onto Brendon's white medicated sheets. Ew. He thought in disgust. When Brendon returned his attentions to the small notepad, he realized in happiness that the notepad flipped to the next page if he blew at it.
The whole page was scribbled in lyrics.
He couldn't read it until three hours later, when it was 4 AM and the sun started to shine through the windows.
*What had previously happened...*
"This is Mr. Urie's room." The nurse indicated to the white door. Everything in the hospital was white. Always goddamn white. And Ryan Ross, he hated the hospital with every fiber of his being.
Ryan's lips pursed slightly as he mumbled, "Thanks." After entering the room and shutting the door behind him for privacy, he walked over to Brendon's bed. Gurney. Brendon was on a fucking gurney. Sweat was dripping off his forehead, and his eyebrows were knitted together, as if in a fury.
Although Ryan wasn't too happy with Brendon's lack of attention towards the band in the past week or two, he couldn't say anything about it now. Brendon's condition looked horrible. As if that wasn't enough, he started to hear Brendon talking in his un-fitful sleep.
A moaning Brendon uttered, "I can't...not without you..."
Ryan looked at Brendon in wonderment. Could this be...? Something was formulating in Ryan's mind. Lyrics. An idea. A prospective.
"Alice." Brendon whispered furiously.
With wide eyes, Ryan flipped out his notepad. He had it. Brendon was his next story.
Without you, the rain falls.
Brendon had finally stopped groaning. Ryan looked over his friend, before shortly returning to his writing. Without you, the rain falls? Then something needs to come after that...
The seeds root, the flowers bloom.
Perfect, Ryan thought with pride. But more was coming. More ideas spilled onto the page.
The stars gleam, the poets dream...
Poet. I'm a poet. Ryan thought with irony. Yet, he continued writing.
But baby, I'd die without you.
I know blue, only blue, lonely blue...without you.
Yes, this is what Brendon's thinking. Blue. Blue, without Alice. He's so lonely, he's withered away... Ryan thought excitedly, while he scribbled onto his notepad. A nurse opened the door to the room, and exclaimed, "Are you okay?"
Ryan snarled and snapped, "I'm fine, leave us alone."
He continued writing after the nurse-lady pissed off.
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.
Except, Brendon could barely function with his fever. He was still breathing, though...
The tears dry, without you. Life goes on, but I'm gone...
Back to Brendon reading the lyrics
Five AM. Brendon got to the second page of Ryan's lyrics. He managed to choke out loud:
"Life goes on, but I'm gone...without you."
How did Ryan tap into his mind so well?
And suddenly, Ryan's hoarse voice spoke up:
"Brendon, I'll be damned if you don't sing that song once you're better."
Ryan was awake. Brendon smiled sadly at his friend, before he whispered, "Me too, Ry. I'll be damned, too."
A/N:
Song-- 'Without You' from Rent, the play and movie. Also, don't forget, memorable quotes! (esp. if you don't have any reviews except for a memorable quote that you loved.) xo-nat.
I do intend to keep up with memorable quotes. This may refresh your memory on what happened last chapter:
"Yeah, we should. I don't know where Ryan would go anyways, since we carpooled here together," Jon said in a confused manner before getting up with a groan. His leg had fallen asleep while he was sitting on the couch.
***************
"Here we go." Sarah let out an exhausted sigh, as she parked her car near Brendon's trailer. She watched Brendon sit still in his chair. A moment passed. "Oh, right." Brendon murmured, and opened the car door, ready to get out. Sarah touched his shoulder. Brendon turned in his chair.
"Just hang on, okay?" She smiled, and half-hugged Brendon. Brendon felt numb to her touch, felt numb to everything in the world. He couldn't feel a sensation in his body. He couldn't feel his stomach growl when he was hungry. He couldn't hear his mind telling him to FUNCTION.
***************
The sad part was that he only had 9 lines, whereas Geets had 21 lines to memorize.
I'm losing it. I'm really losing it.
***************
Brendon felt numb to her touch, felt numb to everything in the world. He couldn't feel a sensation in his body. He couldn't feel his stomach growl when he was hungry. He couldn't hear his mind telling him to FUNCTION.
***************
"I didn't know either, but...Maybe we should call Derek and tell him Brendon took a bad fall, and-" Spencer was cut off abruptly, though, by Sarah again.
"Are you kidding me? TELL him that he fell?" Sarah seemed agitated by all of this.
***************
Thanks to: all my reviewers. I think the reason why I haven't been having a good sleep lately is because of the guilt...that I haven't been contacting (or tending) to you guys. So this is dedicated to every single person who has ever given up two minutes of their day to review to me.
Chapter Fourteen: Hurdle #2: Does Life Go On...Without You?
He saw the lithe form of her body as she slowly peeled the soaked-through dress off her pale, pale skin. He could see her spine sticking out of the flesh of her back. The sopping summer dress fell to the floor. Perfect skin. Perfect calves. She was so goddamned perfect.
But is it still me that makes her sweat? He asked himself quietly, in his head, submersed in his thoughts. She couldn't see him. Nor will she ever see him. Her back was facing him, and he was standing in the doorway.
Slowly, she collapsed onto her bed. Her perfect dark-brown locks were plastered to her back. It almost looked like...sweat. If you didn't know it was raining outside, you would've thought she was sweating. The sheen of 'sweat' could be seen in the flicker of the candlelight in her bedroom. The lights were dim. Very dim. She then pulled the covers over her body. Only the back of her head faced him now. So does she think about me in bed? He thought anxiously, twisting his wrists. He was so nervous. And for what reason, he couldn't fathom.
Little did he know that someone else was about to enter the room. A dark-haired man, buff, but not overly muscled, walked in from the adjoining bathroom. He was partially naked; only a towel wrapped around his waist. Who the hell's that?! Brendon thought as he sucked in his cheeks. Whoever he is...I hope to god he's worth it. Brendon smirked, and watched the man caress Alice's neck. This was when Brendon's eyes bugged out of his sockets. NO! THAT'S NOT HAPPENING!
Brendon felt himself walk up to the man. Tap the man's shoulder. The man didn't look back. And Brendon didn't know how, but he held up a butcher's knife...as it slowly...descended...onto...the man's back. Brendon dug the knife deep in between the man's shoulders. Alice should know that it would always be HIM...not some other guy.
LET'S GET THESE TEEN HEARTS BEATING FASTER, FASTER!
*
"Ah!" Brendon yelled, and gasped for air. He was sweating all over-ironic, huh?-and he could hear pounding at his door. He groaned, and wiped his sweaty face with the back of his hand. Why did he feel so hot? Why did he think that...?
He didn't believe dreams were real. So why did that feel like it was so...right? Like it had actually happened? That his Alice was cheating on him? She's not mine, and she's not cheating on me. A small portion of his mind thought. He didn't get too far with his thoughts though, before Jon burst through the door.
Jon asked quickly, "Jesus Christ, man. Where've you been? You need to get out on set."
He walked on over to Brendon, before becoming pale-faced. In a lower voice, he asked, "Are you okay?" Brendon seemed to shiver under the covers, and Jon held a tentative hand to Brendon's burning forehead.
Brendon emitted a small whimper, and whispered, "Do I have a fever?" He watched Jon silently nod his head in response. "Man...shit. You're burning up." Jon said warily. A very awkward silence fell upon the two of them before Jon sped out of the trailer, yelling, "Brendon's got a fever!"
Inside the trailer, Brendon couldn't do anything but moan. What he needed now was comfort. He didn't need anyone causing more headaches (Jon yelling, for example) and he definitely didn't need to be crowded or looked over...which became inevitable, since Spencer, Jon, and his director came running into his trailer. Obviously worried. Obviously scared. And obviously...mad.
Derek murmured, "Fetch the doctor." When no-one responded, he repeated with more firmness in his voice: "NOW." And just like that, Spencer and Jon dispersed to reach for a cell phone and the yellow pages. Derek himself left the room, after shortly looking over Brendon with overall disappointment.
Brendon had let Derek down by not keeping his health. All day, every day it was only Alice on his mind. Now, he had to deal with it physically-he was utterly sick. Brendon had let his cast down: how were they supposed to continue filming if they had their main guy missing? Worse, he had let his band down. They meant more to him than the movie. They were there for him since day one, and now he could barely sing for them. He could barely croak. (But what good would that have done anyways, since Ryan was pissed off at him for never cooperating due to the absence of Alice?)
Brendon thought contemplatively. This time, he thought about a huge field of flowers...as he ran up to Alice...and slowly, on this huge field of flowers situated on a pink-cotton-candy-looking cloud...he leaned in...to kiss her...
And before he passed out, he had one more image on his mind: them monstrously fucking.
*
The next time he woke up, he didn't recognize his surroundings. Before he could raise an arm, lift a finger, or scream, "Where the fuck am I?" He saw a head on his lap. Eventually, Brendon managed to peer over the white sheets that smelled of medicine. Please let it be Alice, please let it be Alice, please let it be Alice...
He should've known it wouldn't have been Alice. No. It was Ryan. Only his most pissed-off-buddy-of-the-moment. Ryan fucking Ross. Frustrated, Brendon leaned back onto his pillow. Groaning. Wishing he wasn't alive. He felt Ryan stir on his lap, but Brendon couldn't bring himself to wake his friend up...After all, he still felt his burning fever.
It was time Brendon observed his surroundings. An IV was embedded into his left wrist. That was all Brendon needed to notice that he was in the hospital. A few carnations and a bunch of orchids sat in a jade colored vase on the table next to his bed.
As he struggled to get up, he felt leather bindings on his wrists. He tried to move his ankles. No go. What the hell...?
No. He was not strapped to a gurney!
Urie, what's wrong with you? You had a mini fever, and now you're strapped to a gurney?
Shut UP. The voice in his head replied coldly to his other voice.
Ryan didn't look like he was going to wake up. What time was it, anyways? Brendon squinted his eyes to look at the clock across the room, which read: 1:00
But one o' clock what? AM? PM?
Brendon assumed 'AM' due to lack of light and nurses in the room. Why was Ryan allowed during non-visitor time, then? Or did they just make him a special exception, because...wait. What's this? Brendon just noticed a notepad that lay next to Ryan's head. Why didn't he see it before? Was it a note from Alice to him? Did Ryan get a voice message from Alice and write it out to give to Brendon? What was it?
These ideas raced through Brendon's mind quickly, as he tried with all his might to reach for the notepad. But the gurney wouldn't let him. The bindings wouldn't make it any easier for him. He wanted to punch something, but figured it would wake Ryan up.
But after a whole twenty-five minutes later and a lot of body movement, Brendon had the notepad on his chest. He could look down onto his chest easily, but what he didn't have was enough light. The writing was basically chicken scratch, and that made it a whole lot easier for Brendon to read. Not.
He picked out some words, though:
Different prospective.
Okay, yes, Ryan liked to write in different prospectives. But only when he wrote lyrics for a song. Brendon rolled his eyes, but tried to continue to read:
Flowers...Rain fall...dying...
It looked like brainstorming. Was Ryan attempting to write another song? Brendon thought Ryan was fed up with Brendon. Maybe Ryan finally decided he needed some help, and decided to ask Brendon when he realized that Brendon was in the hospit-
No. Ryan was never like that. Because Ryan is a genius.
Then, Brendon read:
Brendon's prospective.
But the writing ended there! Brendon stared at the paper, wide-eyed. He shifted his gaze to Ryan, whose saliva had started to dribble onto Brendon's white medicated sheets. Ew. He thought in disgust. When Brendon returned his attentions to the small notepad, he realized in happiness that the notepad flipped to the next page if he blew at it.
The whole page was scribbled in lyrics.
He couldn't read it until three hours later, when it was 4 AM and the sun started to shine through the windows.
*What had previously happened...*
"This is Mr. Urie's room." The nurse indicated to the white door. Everything in the hospital was white. Always goddamn white. And Ryan Ross, he hated the hospital with every fiber of his being.
Ryan's lips pursed slightly as he mumbled, "Thanks." After entering the room and shutting the door behind him for privacy, he walked over to Brendon's bed. Gurney. Brendon was on a fucking gurney. Sweat was dripping off his forehead, and his eyebrows were knitted together, as if in a fury.
Although Ryan wasn't too happy with Brendon's lack of attention towards the band in the past week or two, he couldn't say anything about it now. Brendon's condition looked horrible. As if that wasn't enough, he started to hear Brendon talking in his un-fitful sleep.
A moaning Brendon uttered, "I can't...not without you..."
Ryan looked at Brendon in wonderment. Could this be...? Something was formulating in Ryan's mind. Lyrics. An idea. A prospective.
"Alice." Brendon whispered furiously.
With wide eyes, Ryan flipped out his notepad. He had it. Brendon was his next story.
Without you, the rain falls.
Brendon had finally stopped groaning. Ryan looked over his friend, before shortly returning to his writing. Without you, the rain falls? Then something needs to come after that...
The seeds root, the flowers bloom.
Perfect, Ryan thought with pride. But more was coming. More ideas spilled onto the page.
The stars gleam, the poets dream...
Poet. I'm a poet. Ryan thought with irony. Yet, he continued writing.
But baby, I'd die without you.
I know blue, only blue, lonely blue...without you.
Yes, this is what Brendon's thinking. Blue. Blue, without Alice. He's so lonely, he's withered away... Ryan thought excitedly, while he scribbled onto his notepad. A nurse opened the door to the room, and exclaimed, "Are you okay?"
Ryan snarled and snapped, "I'm fine, leave us alone."
He continued writing after the nurse-lady pissed off.
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.
Except, Brendon could barely function with his fever. He was still breathing, though...
The tears dry, without you. Life goes on, but I'm gone...
Back to Brendon reading the lyrics
Five AM. Brendon got to the second page of Ryan's lyrics. He managed to choke out loud:
"Life goes on, but I'm gone...without you."
How did Ryan tap into his mind so well?
And suddenly, Ryan's hoarse voice spoke up:
"Brendon, I'll be damned if you don't sing that song once you're better."
Ryan was awake. Brendon smiled sadly at his friend, before he whispered, "Me too, Ry. I'll be damned, too."
A/N:
Song-- 'Without You' from Rent, the play and movie. Also, don't forget, memorable quotes! (esp. if you don't have any reviews except for a memorable quote that you loved.) xo-nat.
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