Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > I Write Sins Not Tragedies

Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)

by maxiexcore1 0 reviews

Ryan has a dream that makes him fear Honor even more.Title from Marilyn Manson.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG - Genres: Drama, Romance - Published: 2007-06-30 - Updated: 2007-07-01 - 834 words

0Unrated
Ryan's P.O.V.
For once since I'd first fell for Honor, I felt like utter shit.Questions rang through my head, making it hurt to hell.Why hadn't she killed me yet?Why had she looked so sick and possibly hurt when I'd fucking kissed Brendon right in front of her?Why was part of me still in love with her?Why did part of me still want to be with her?Why did a part of me want to be fucking cocky and stop worrying about everything else and forgive her?The numberous whys still were pounding in my head when I slammed the door closed of my room.I wound up punching the wall just because I was mad at myself for still loving her.I hadn't realized until then how deeply in love with her I'd been.I almost wished that she'd killed me before.It would've at least made it easier to go.
"Ry, you okay?"
I jumped slightly when I heard the voice and turned my head in the direction that it'd came from to see Jac landing on my balcony with a slight thump of her feet.She walked toward me and touched my cheek, wiping a tear that I hadn't noticed from my cheek.I shook my head, feeling slightly comforted by my ex-girlfriend's presence.I'd always been able to talk to her about anything and she pretty much already knew about this whole thing, so there wasn't much explaining to do.
"I want to hate her but I can't." I found myself sobbing into Jac's arms a few minutes later.She kept stroking my back and telling me that everything would work out.After about an hour, I finally stopped and she pushed me away slightly.
"Ryan, I know Honor better than you do.She didn't kill you, which means that she must care for you............."
That was the point that I had to cut her off. "But she killed Max.............."
"It was either her or him.Max was willing to give up his life for her to live and be happy.He basically told her that he wanted her to live and be happy with someone else.If only you'd seen the mess she was after she did that.She was almost dead.Then when she started talking to you, she began to perk up more...............You made her happy, Ry.Max wanted her to live and be happy and for the first time in months, she was happy when she met you.She even told me once before that she thought she was in love with you, long before yesterday......................"
"If she loves me so fucking much then why doesn't she just kill me?Spare me the fucking pain of trying to hate her."
"You have to ask her that............Not me." That was the moment that Jac stood up and walked out the door.I didn't know what to do anymore so I just laid there, hoping to be taken out of my thoughts.
***
My Nightmare

My hands ran through her shortish dark brown hair and she smiled at me, her legs straddleing my thin thighs.I smiled back at her, happy that she was there and I could find it in myself to forgive her.
"Ryan, I love you." She pecked me on the lips softly, then pulled back to look at me.I took that chance to slip my hand underneith her shirt, which made her smile at me even more.
"I love you too, Honor." I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers, moving slowly before running my tongue along her lower lip.Her lips dropped open and I slowly poked my tongue into her mouth, mentally mapping out every inch of it.I wanted this so bad.I needed it.To be close to her.To forget about what she was supposed to do to me and focus on being happy with her. "Honor, I want to make love to you." I hissed in her ear as I pulled back from the kiss and began assualting her neck, sucking softly on her skin which caused her to moan.Our clothes were off in seconds and she was below me, looking so beautiful there, waiting for me to finally do it.I finally did it and it seemed like we were there together forever, me moving back and forth inside of her trying to hold back moans and her moaning like a whore.Soon, it was over and I felt myself release inside of her and her release out on me.I pulled out of her and flopped back on the bed.Then she pointed a gun to my head.
"Bye, bye, love." She pulled the trigger..........
**
I screamed and apparently I woke myself up.I looked around.She wasn't anywhere to be found.I silently thanked god that I was still alive.I wasn't going to let her kill me even though she broke my heart.Never.
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