Categories > Celebrities > Good Charlotte > The Holiday Season... But Not Everyone's in the Holiday Spirit
Six week's went by fairly quickly and uneventfully. How have I been? I've been better, much better. But I'm working through it. For the first two week's I was a mess I wouldn't leave the house, talk to anyone, or eat. Everyone was really worried about me but I couldn't help it. I rang Benji constantly to try and get him to talk to me but it just wasn't working. He made it clear he didn't want anything to do with me. for the first few times I rang he picked up but ended up calling me any bad or hurtful thing he could think of then after that he just told me to piss off or fuck off then he just stopped answering my calls completely that was when I finally gave up trying to call. Joel and the guys on tour are still trying to talk him round but I don't know if I even want him back now.
The more I think of it after all he's done and said to me these past few weeks I don't think I want him back he just won't listen to reason. He's been going off the rails too. He's gone back to his old ways of partying till all hours and screwing around with slut after slut after slut. After a while I just got sick of seeing and reading in papers about his latest wild night, so I just stopped caring.
After the first couple of weeks of feeling sorry for my self I decided to just get on with my life and forget about Benji, which was easier said than done. I hadn't really spoken to the guys much since then we only kept up to date through Gabby. It was just too hard for me to talk to them because it juts brought back memories of the whole Benji thing. I gradually started to rebuild my life and got back to as normal or as normal as possible. I was back to going to work and going out with the girls shopping and gossiping. I still wasn't completely myself though and everyone noticed but I guess I never will have that part of me back because that's the only part of my that's ever belonged to and with Benji.
During this time I'd also began to feel quite ill. It started off as just a few headaches and loss of appetite which I just put down to stress over the break-up. Instead of getting better as I started to rebuild my life, it started getting worse. I started to get more headaches and still didn't have my appetitive back but now I was also beginning to feel and then be sick and was getting dizzy spells. Gabby was the only one that knew about how I was feeling lately fully and she was really worried about me she kept on at me to see a doctor but I refused to. I told her it was just stress with all what I'm going through and tried to ignore it but truth is I was just too scared to find out what really was wrong with me. We both had a pretty good idea of what was wrong with me but neither of us actually voiced it.
Today was one of those rare days when both me and Gabby had the day off. Joel called last night saying that they had a couple of days off and was coming down for the day to see us because he missed us; Billy was coming too to see Linzi. Me and Gabby where about to leave to meet Ryane and Linzi and Joel and Billy at a café for lunch.
"You ready?" I asked walking into the living room where Gabby was. As I got to the door way I got one of my now regular dizzy spells. I held onto the door frame with my right hand to steady my self and onto my pounding, spinning head with my left had.
"Soph, honey you ok?" she asked walking over to me putting her arms around me leading me over to the sofa to sit down before I fell down.
"Yeah fine just went a little dizzy probably from standing up so quickly." I brushed off the dizziness subsiding slightly.
"Soph I really do think you need to go see a doctor this could be serious." She said.
"Gabs I'm fine stop worry come on we're going to be late and you don't want to be missing any time that you can spend with Joel." I smirked then made my way to the front door. I heard Gabby sigh and follow me out of the house. She had decided she was driving but I really didn't mind as today I was feeling more ill than ever but I tried not to show it because I didn't want to worry Gabby or get another lecture from her.
We made our way to our favourite café, when we got there Billy, Joel, Linzi and Ryane was already there. We greeted each other then ordered. I was really nervous about seeing Billy and Joel again but when I did see them it felt so good seeing them again, I'd missed them so much Joel was like a brother to me and Billy and the other guys had became really good friends of mine over the years too.
"So how are you Soph?" Joel smiled at me.
"I'm good, well better than I was about six weeks ago. It's hard but I'm getting there." I smiled.
"Well maybe emotionally but not physically." Gabby mumbled causing everyone too look at her then to me a mixture of confusion and worry on their faces.
"Gabby I told you there's nothing wrong with me."
"Oh so throwing your guts up, having head aches, going dizzy and loosing your appetite is all perfectly normal on a regular bases." Gabby said getting angry but I knew it was only because she cared once again everyone look from gabby to me this time they all looked at me worriedly.
"What there's nothing wrong it's just stress I'm fine." I brushed off trying not to make eye contact anymore as I was getting emotional.
"Soph this sounds serious you need to see a doctor." Billy spoke up.
"It's no use guy's I tried everything to get her to see a doctor but she's won't." Gabby said.
"Soph Honey you do need to see a doctor, your right it probably is nothing but just go and get your self checked out it's only because we care about you." Joel said.
"If you care about me you'll leave me the fuck alone." I snapped and stood to leave but as I stood I suddenly went really dizzy and had a head ache worse than ever. Before I knew what was happening I fell to the floor.
The more I think of it after all he's done and said to me these past few weeks I don't think I want him back he just won't listen to reason. He's been going off the rails too. He's gone back to his old ways of partying till all hours and screwing around with slut after slut after slut. After a while I just got sick of seeing and reading in papers about his latest wild night, so I just stopped caring.
After the first couple of weeks of feeling sorry for my self I decided to just get on with my life and forget about Benji, which was easier said than done. I hadn't really spoken to the guys much since then we only kept up to date through Gabby. It was just too hard for me to talk to them because it juts brought back memories of the whole Benji thing. I gradually started to rebuild my life and got back to as normal or as normal as possible. I was back to going to work and going out with the girls shopping and gossiping. I still wasn't completely myself though and everyone noticed but I guess I never will have that part of me back because that's the only part of my that's ever belonged to and with Benji.
During this time I'd also began to feel quite ill. It started off as just a few headaches and loss of appetite which I just put down to stress over the break-up. Instead of getting better as I started to rebuild my life, it started getting worse. I started to get more headaches and still didn't have my appetitive back but now I was also beginning to feel and then be sick and was getting dizzy spells. Gabby was the only one that knew about how I was feeling lately fully and she was really worried about me she kept on at me to see a doctor but I refused to. I told her it was just stress with all what I'm going through and tried to ignore it but truth is I was just too scared to find out what really was wrong with me. We both had a pretty good idea of what was wrong with me but neither of us actually voiced it.
Today was one of those rare days when both me and Gabby had the day off. Joel called last night saying that they had a couple of days off and was coming down for the day to see us because he missed us; Billy was coming too to see Linzi. Me and Gabby where about to leave to meet Ryane and Linzi and Joel and Billy at a café for lunch.
"You ready?" I asked walking into the living room where Gabby was. As I got to the door way I got one of my now regular dizzy spells. I held onto the door frame with my right hand to steady my self and onto my pounding, spinning head with my left had.
"Soph, honey you ok?" she asked walking over to me putting her arms around me leading me over to the sofa to sit down before I fell down.
"Yeah fine just went a little dizzy probably from standing up so quickly." I brushed off the dizziness subsiding slightly.
"Soph I really do think you need to go see a doctor this could be serious." She said.
"Gabs I'm fine stop worry come on we're going to be late and you don't want to be missing any time that you can spend with Joel." I smirked then made my way to the front door. I heard Gabby sigh and follow me out of the house. She had decided she was driving but I really didn't mind as today I was feeling more ill than ever but I tried not to show it because I didn't want to worry Gabby or get another lecture from her.
We made our way to our favourite café, when we got there Billy, Joel, Linzi and Ryane was already there. We greeted each other then ordered. I was really nervous about seeing Billy and Joel again but when I did see them it felt so good seeing them again, I'd missed them so much Joel was like a brother to me and Billy and the other guys had became really good friends of mine over the years too.
"So how are you Soph?" Joel smiled at me.
"I'm good, well better than I was about six weeks ago. It's hard but I'm getting there." I smiled.
"Well maybe emotionally but not physically." Gabby mumbled causing everyone too look at her then to me a mixture of confusion and worry on their faces.
"Gabby I told you there's nothing wrong with me."
"Oh so throwing your guts up, having head aches, going dizzy and loosing your appetite is all perfectly normal on a regular bases." Gabby said getting angry but I knew it was only because she cared once again everyone look from gabby to me this time they all looked at me worriedly.
"What there's nothing wrong it's just stress I'm fine." I brushed off trying not to make eye contact anymore as I was getting emotional.
"Soph this sounds serious you need to see a doctor." Billy spoke up.
"It's no use guy's I tried everything to get her to see a doctor but she's won't." Gabby said.
"Soph Honey you do need to see a doctor, your right it probably is nothing but just go and get your self checked out it's only because we care about you." Joel said.
"If you care about me you'll leave me the fuck alone." I snapped and stood to leave but as I stood I suddenly went really dizzy and had a head ache worse than ever. Before I knew what was happening I fell to the floor.
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