FicWad

Sophie's POV

"That Benji again?" Gabby asked walking into the living room where I had just hung up the phone again.

"Yeah you know we should really think about getting caller ID that Way I don't have to waste time picking up the phone just to find out it's him to put it back down again."

"Sophie why can't you just talk to him please it's driving us all mad over the past two months since he's started calling you and trying his best to make an effort with you. what if he really has changed are you sure you really want to give up on all what you have together for ever and just settle for someone else when you can have the guy for you."

"How do you know he's changed? there's no telling what he'll do if I take him back it might be great but he's so unpredictable I need some more stability in my life I need to know that he's not going to be having a bad day and then come and take it out on me."

"You know he's not that bad yeah he might have his moods but that's why you get along so well. You two are just on the same weird and twisted level no one can understand either of you the way you do each other."

"What makes you the expert on me and Benji I've gave him enough chances when we where in high school and now that where out and older he's no different he's never going to change and I don't want to risk getting hurt especially not in my condition at the moment Gabs I'm four months pregnant, nearly half way though my pregnancy ..."

"All the more reason to give him a chance he's the father of your baby."

"I can't be taking chances in my condition if I have any stress and my blood pressure rises in can be critical for me and the baby."

"Soph it's just one vicious circle." She gave in.

"No there's no circle. I and Benji are over. I'm over him. It's just me and my baby now. That's all I'm bothered about."

"Soph come on you can't me that tell me truthfully no bullshitting and trying to act the strong hard face bitch you like to make people think you are. Can you honestly say that you do not love him and that he is not the one you want to spend the rest of you life with."

"I do love him always have and always will. He is the one for me no doubt and I do want him but sometimes in life you don't always get what you want."

"So what are you going to do tomorrow?" she asked.

"What?" I said confused.

"Tomorrow the tour is over today and the guys come home tomorrow. Are you just going to go into hiding because Benji's going to find out sooner or later that the babies his. I can't believe he's not already found out. You know it's always going to be better him finding this out from you and not from someone else."

"Gabs I don't care he did this to himself. He was the one that broke up with me. He was the one that decided he wanted nothing more to do with me. Therefore he has nothing to do with MY baby."

"He's trying to make it right though he does want something to do with you. He loves you and wants to be with you."

"Tough shit he should have thought about that before. He can't just pick and choose when he wants me around."

"Soph I give up with you." she laughed in defeat at how stubborn and persistent I was.

"Good maybe now I'll get some peace. If my blood pressures up in the next check up I have it's you to blame for it." I laughed.

The next day Gabby was already up, dressed and had breakfast by the time I had finished throwing my guts up and came down stairs.

"Why call if morning sickness when it lasts all fucking day." I muttered in a bad mood like usual in a morning when I'd been woke up early with the need to throw up. "And what are you doing up so early?"

"I need to go and pick Joel and the guys up form the airport. Then we're going back his after to catch up." She smiled she'd been hinting all week that I come with her to pick the guys up. Some how being stuck in a car with Benji didn't seem appealing to me.

"Oh right good for you."

"So you're not coming with me?" she hinted.

"No thanks." I smiled sarcastically. I knew what she was getting at they'd obviously planned to get me into the car with Benji to try to get us talking again. Being four months pregnant I was starting to show slightly but you couldn't really tell as I have started to wear baggier clothes more.

"Come on your going to run into him sooner or later just get it over with now." She said giving up with her subtle hints.

"No why don't you get it the more you push us together the more your pushing us apart."

"Sophie you need help any one especially someone who was facing being a single mother would kill to have what you and Benji have and you're just turning it all down because of a few mistakes."

"Fuck off Gabby." I sighed feeling myself getting angry which wasn't good for my condition.

"You know what maybe I will fuck off, I give up with you where only trying to get what's best for you and if you don't see it then fine have it your way." she said before leaving slamming the door behind her.

I sighed going into the living room to sit on the sofa. Things where really going out of hand this whole things one big mess there's nothing more than I would like than to be with Benji and have our baby and live happily ever after but the only thing is it's me and Benji where talking about. I mean when things are good between us there really really good but when there bad there hell. I just I don't know if I can deal with all the ups and downs. I want to settle down and have stability. I want to be happy with Benji but I'm scared of letting my wall down and getting hurt. Benji's the only one that's ever been able to break through my wall and look where that got me, heart broken. I don't' want to be bringing up a child in that sort of environment, I'd rather bring it up alone than with me and Benji going from one extreme to the next with each other. I went through that with my parents and they ended up divorced and it was horrible. Not knowing whether you where coming or going. If you'd come home to a perfect happy family or one at war. I don't want to put my baby through that.