FicWad

They stayed with me for about an hour longer all of us just talking and catching up having a laugh no stress or drama involved.

"Guy's I'm going to have to be going I've got to go and pick Ryane up." Wes said looking at his watch and getting up. "Make sure you look after her ok." He warned the others before giving me a hug and leaving.

"Shit Gabs I completely forgot I made dinner reservations for us to night." Joel said suddenly remembering.

"What. For us, really?" she smiled.

"Yeah in an hour." he said.

"Well wheat are you still doing sitting here with me? Go." I laughed.

"Are you sure?" they both looked at me.

"Yes I'm fine of you go." I laughed.

"Anyway she's got me to look after her." Tony grinned.

"That's what I'm worried about." Joel joked and Tony pulled a face.

"He's really hurt you know." Tony said seriously and out of the blue. I looked at him confused at first.

"Benj he's really gutted he loves you so much he just does stupid things sometimes when he gets lonely and misses you. You know how insecure he gets. When he found out you where pregnant and didn't tell him he was so upset but he gets mad so that he doesn't have to face up to the fact that he's hurt and show emotion." Tony said.

"I know." I said quietly. Tony looked at me confused.

"You do?"

"Yeah I cow Benji inside out. I know how he thinks and what goes through his head but sometimes he has to learn that his little out bursts affect other people too. Just because he's upset or in a mood for some reason he can't just take it out on everyone else. I didn't tell him about being pregnant not because I didn't want to or because I wanted to hurt him I didn't tell him because I didn't feel I could. After his first out burst when we broke up I admit I was scared of him. I was scared that he'd not believe me and think that I was just using it to try and get him back. He's got to realise that he can't treat me the way he did and then expect me to just go back to normal when he's ready."

"I agree completely but I do still feel for him, he's a mess but like you said that's no excuse for how he's treated you hence the beating I gave him."

"You really beat him up!"

"Yeah he's got a lovely bruise on his right cheek bone." Tony smiled proudly.

"Tony!" I scolded.

"What? He deserved it." he laughed. We went quite for a moment.

"Tone?" I asked quietly he looked up to me. "Is Benji still outside?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Will you ask him to come and see me?" I said.

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yeah can I have a word with him, alone?" I said seriously.

"Erm yeah I'll go get him but only if you sure."

"I'm sure." I nodded. He got up and then came back moment later followed by Benji. Benji looked like a naughty school by being sent to the head teacher.

"I'm going to be waiting right outside if you need me call me." Tony said seriously before closing the door and leaving me alone with Benji. He still stayed stood by the door. We where in silence neither of us knowing what to say.

"You know you can come and sit down if you want to." I spoke up. He looked up nervously then came and sat where Wes was sat before.

"Sophie I can't begin to say how sorry I am for everything. I've been a complete ass for how I've acted towards you and treated you. I know there are no excuses but I just get so insecure on tour and miss you so much. I love you more than anything I don't want to be without you. I hate fighting with you and that little blow up before I feel so guilty for I can't believe I did this to you and..."

"Benj just stop ok. I know you didn't mean any of it I know you love me but that doesn't change anything you still did the thing you did whether you meant to or not. Sometimes sorry just isn't good enough."

"Soph I want to make everything up to you I promise I've changed now I love you and I want to be with you."

"Benj it's not that easy trust is a precious thing and I lost some of that trust I had for you. I can't just go back to how we used to be and forget everything and I've got to think about the baby now too."

"I'll support you all the way I want to be a part of my child's life too. Hopefully as us together."

"Benj I don't want to get into a relationship with you at least not just yet you hurt me so much Benji and if that's the way your going to act when you go on tour and I don't follow you, or not, I just can't be waiting around for the next time your going to let me down. I'm not playing games no more Benji this is serious now."

"I am being serious I will make things right I promise just please give me a chance, I know I don't deserve one but please, I love you."

"Benji promises and I love you's sometimes just aren't enough. Let's just take things slowly for now, as friends, and then see where we go from there but I'm not guaranteeing anything."

"I don't know if I can be just your friend."

"Well it's that or nothing Benj it's up too you."

"I will make you change your mind you'll see I will prove to you that I've changed."

"I hope for both our sakes your right." I smiled taking hold of his hand.

"I am." He smiled giving my hand a little squeeze. "So tell me more about you and the baby." He said enthusiastically.

"What do you want to know?" I laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Everything. How did you find out you where pregnant, what did you do, how the baby is, do you know if it's he or she..."

"Ok, ok. Erm I found out I was pregnant because I'd been really ill for the two months after you'd left then when I was out at lunch with Joel, Gabby, Billy and Linzi when Billy and Joel came home for that day I fainted and they took me to hospital. At hospital they told me I was pregnant and that I had a blood pressure condition hat can be fatal to me or the baby if I was put under any stress so I need to have plenty of rest, no stress and check ups every two weeks to make sure my blood pressure is normal. I've been fine up till your little outburst earlier which was the exact stress I'm supposed to avoid but everything back to normal now thankfully."

"I can't believe I did this too you. I can't believe I hurt you so much to felt you couldn't tell me you where pregnant with my child. So what's caused the blood pressure problem in the first place?"

"Do you really want to know?" I asked unsure whether to tell him and make him feel even worse.

"Yeah tell me."

"Well the doctors said that it's usually caused by a lot of emotional stress at the very beginning of the pregnancy which in my case was... our break up." as soon as I said it I saw his face drop and the guilt wash over his face.

"Shit Soph I am so sorry I don't know what to say."

"Don't worry about it. No one could have predicted it; it's just one of those things." I tried to make him fell better I felt so sorry for him he's gone through so much.

"No it's not ok though I've screwed up so bad I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to se me again."

"Benj don't be silly I love you and you're the father of my child."

"I don't deserve you."

"Benj I'm, hardly an angel. That's why we are so good together we both fuck up all the time." I laughed.

"Well not any more that's it no more fucking up for me."

"I missed you Benj." I smiled living his hand a squeeze.

"Missed you too." he smiled making eye contact with me for the first time since he'd come into the room and I got a good look at the lovely shiner Tony had gave him on his cheek.

"Is that what Tony did to you?" I said putting my hand on the side of his face and gently rubbing my thumb over the bruise.

"Yeah but I also deserved that too." he said with his puppy dog eyes making me laugh. We sat there looking into each others eyes in silence for a moment them I yawned feeling very tired.

"I should go let you get some rest. When are you aloud home?"

"Tomorrow."

"Ok well I'll probably... erm, hopefully see you tomorrow then." He said then standing to leave.

"Yeah ok see you tomorrow." I smiled and he left.