Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Love Knows No Age
While waiting for Gerard to call Monica realized that she kept smiling. Lord, she thought, I must look like a grinning idiot. She couldn't help it; she was just so glad that she and Gee had made up. Things were right again in her world. Soon he would call and she couldn't wait to hear his voice.
"Hellooooo" Jamia said getting her attention. "I said I'm sorry I talked so long to Frank and missed the end of the movie." She walked back to her spot on the sofa and sat down.
"That's okay, it kinda sucked. Besides" she added with a grin" I wasn't really paying attention I was thinking about Gee."
It took all the strength Jamia had not to cry. Monica looked so happy talking about Gee that it made her want to strangle the man. "So how about some ice cream?" Jamia forced herself to sound and look happy.
"Sure, but only small bowls. You aren't supposed to have any and I don't want to pig-out and gain weight." She walked towards the kitchen humming to herself. Jamia sank further down into the cushions feeling awful. Damn she had been hoping Gee would call but now she wasn't sure that would be a good idea. Has he fallen for her? Was he really with her again? She was still thinking dark thoughts when Monica returned and handed her a bowl.
"Here you go". She took her bowl back over to her chair and dug in. "I wonder when Gee is gonna call? I know the Meet and Greet was after the concert but if Frank called it must have been over."
Jamia tried to think of an answer; "Frank wasn't feeling good so he went back to the hotel early."
"Is he okay?" Monica asked with concern in her voice.
"Yeah, you know Frankie, he's always a little bit under the weather." She spooned the ice cream in her mouth quickly. When she was nervous she always ate faster.
"I can't wait until they get back" Monica said, "I can't wait for Gee to get to know Elle."
Jamia mentally groaned, she had forgotten that Monica was watching Elle tomorrow. "What time is Liv bringing her by?"
"She said around eight. I was thinking of taking her to the park again. She really had a great time on Saturday. Do you think it would be all right for me to buy her a few new outfits? I mean I don't want to make Liv mad so I'm not sure."
Jamia put down her bowl, closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "Monica the ice cream gave me a headache. I'm gonna go to bed, okay?"
Monica glanced at the clock; it was only a bit after 7:00. "Sure, let me get your pill."
Once Jamia had swallowed her pill and crawled into bed she began to cry. She felt so bad for Monica, and she felt so helpless. She wanted so badly to do something to change the situation. She loved Monica like a sister and she knew she was going to get hurt; it was just a matter of time. She rolled over and hugged Frank's pillow. She missed him so much and she wished he were here to help her through all this drama.
Gerard closed the door behind him and smiled, "So how are you feeling?"
She sat up and smiled, "I feel better now that you're here. Gee, we really need to talk."
He sat down on the bed by her, "Sure"
Scooting closer to him she reached out and touched his arm, "Do you remember the fist thing you ever said to me?"
He searched his memory, "I asked you if I'd met you before."
She smiled, "Yeah, I'll always remember that day. It seems like a lifetime ago. Sometimes I wonder if we had met before, just in a different lifetime."
"A lot has happened in the years we've known each other." He reached out and touched her face, "So tell me what's really going on?"
Her smile faded, "I guess I've just been thinking about the past a lot lately. Thinking about how meeting you changed my life. How I felt like the world had crashed down on me when I found out you had a girlfriend back home. I didn't want to but I hated her."
He sat back and looked away, "Liv hated you too."
"Yeah, well she hates everybody. I never did understand why you stayed with her. When we were on Warped she was back home making demands, calling you at all hours just to mess with your mind." She grabbed the pillow and put it under her head so she could lie down. "I was right there with you, I heard all the vile things she said to you and I hated her more and more. I just wanted to protect you from her."
"And then one day she just up and disappeared," he said thinking back and hating the pain that still accompanied the memory.
"Yeah" she whispered, "She left you and I thought for a brief moment that maybe, just maybe you had really meant some of the things you had whispered to me in the dark. Those nights when we would slip away from the bus and find a place to be alone you would tell me your dreams. You would hold me and love me and I wanted to believe that in your heart it was me you were thinking about and not her." She closed her eyes a moment. "Gee, have you really gotten over Liv?"
He was shocked by the question, "Yeah, I really have. My life is so different now."
She opened her eyes and looked at him, "The day you told me about Liv leaving you I wanted to scream to the world that her control over you was over. That you were free, free to be with someone who really loved you. Someone who understood your moods, someone who accepted you as you were and didn't want to change you. I thought you were free and could be with me."
The silence of the room seemed to settle over them. Finally he spoke, "I don't know what to say." He laid down next to her and was staring at the ceiling.
"You don't have to say anything" she said sadly, "I understood my role in your life when you were with Liv. She was your girlfriend and I was the woman you came to when you needed love."
"I didn't mean to use you like that." He rolled his head on the pillow to look over at her. "You were my best friend."
She smiled but it was a smile without warmth "A best friend you could fuck when you need to."
"No, I didn't want it to be that way but I loved her so much. I couldn't leave her and you knew that."
She sighed, "Yeah you told me and I understood. So we snuck around and spent so much time together all the while telling the world we were just friends." She had tears in her eyes, "I kinda just thought that I was the girl who wasn't good enough or pretty enough to be your girlfriend. At least not for the world to see. But I was good enough in the dark wasn't I?"
He raised himself on one elbow and looked over at her, "That wasn't how it was. You were too good for me. I was a total shit then. My life was out of fucking control. I guess I was selfish. I needed you both."
"So I continued to meet you, to share moments together with you whenever we could. It was my choice."
"I'm sorry," he whispered to her.
"Don't be, like I said it was my choice. I would choose a few moments alone with you over anything else in the world. Cause for those few minutes you belonged to me." She rolled over and faced him. "Gee, why can't we be together? Haven't I earned it? Isn't it my turn?"
Her words shocked him, "But I told you I'm in love with Monica. She is everything to me."
Tears began to roll down her face, "Why can't you love me? Is there something wrong with me?"
He leaned over and wiped away some of the tears, "I love you like a friend, I always have. We slept together because I was a heartless bastard to you and took what you offered to me. You gave me love but I gave you sex."
His words pierced her heart. She laid her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes; "I don't want to live my life like I've been living it. I will be there for you Gee. Just like before. We can be friends for the world to see but only you and I will know." She moved closer to him and pressed her lips to his. For a brief moment he closed his eyes and remembered how she had made him feel. Her lips were warm and soft and he felt his body responding. Her arms were wrapped around him pulling him closer.
"NO" he tore his lips away and sat up. "I'm sorry for all the things I did. But I can't go back and change them. I love Monica now. I should never have started hanging with you like old times" He said slowly.
She couldn't believe he was slipping away, "Then love her but you still need me. I understand you, Gee. I know how to read your emotions. I will take care of you just like I did before.
Gerard stood and looked down at her, "I'm sorry, but it can't be like that. I will never cheat on Monica."
She saw her dreams crumbling before her eyes, "Gee, please listen to me. It can be just like before. To the world we'll just be friends."
He walked to the door and opened it, "I'm sorry but it has to be done. It's over."
She got up and walked over to him "You can't mean it, you need me. I will take care of you Gee. You know how I can make you feel." She tried to hug him but he moved away.
Guilt made him say," Look I'm sorry about the past. I screwed up so many things in my life but not anymore. I love Monica and I'm gonna marry her." He opened the door then stood back so she could walk out into the hall.
Shit, she thought what can I do to make him change his mind? She needed time to think. There had to be a way, perhaps if Monica knew what had been going on? It wouldn't be hard for their "friendship" to leak out. She and Gee had been spending so much time together and then there was the on-stage kiss. She tried not to smile when she thought about all the photos that were going to surface. Walking into the hall she turned, "Good night, Gee"
He smiled sadly, "Goodbye Eliza."
"Hellooooo" Jamia said getting her attention. "I said I'm sorry I talked so long to Frank and missed the end of the movie." She walked back to her spot on the sofa and sat down.
"That's okay, it kinda sucked. Besides" she added with a grin" I wasn't really paying attention I was thinking about Gee."
It took all the strength Jamia had not to cry. Monica looked so happy talking about Gee that it made her want to strangle the man. "So how about some ice cream?" Jamia forced herself to sound and look happy.
"Sure, but only small bowls. You aren't supposed to have any and I don't want to pig-out and gain weight." She walked towards the kitchen humming to herself. Jamia sank further down into the cushions feeling awful. Damn she had been hoping Gee would call but now she wasn't sure that would be a good idea. Has he fallen for her? Was he really with her again? She was still thinking dark thoughts when Monica returned and handed her a bowl.
"Here you go". She took her bowl back over to her chair and dug in. "I wonder when Gee is gonna call? I know the Meet and Greet was after the concert but if Frank called it must have been over."
Jamia tried to think of an answer; "Frank wasn't feeling good so he went back to the hotel early."
"Is he okay?" Monica asked with concern in her voice.
"Yeah, you know Frankie, he's always a little bit under the weather." She spooned the ice cream in her mouth quickly. When she was nervous she always ate faster.
"I can't wait until they get back" Monica said, "I can't wait for Gee to get to know Elle."
Jamia mentally groaned, she had forgotten that Monica was watching Elle tomorrow. "What time is Liv bringing her by?"
"She said around eight. I was thinking of taking her to the park again. She really had a great time on Saturday. Do you think it would be all right for me to buy her a few new outfits? I mean I don't want to make Liv mad so I'm not sure."
Jamia put down her bowl, closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "Monica the ice cream gave me a headache. I'm gonna go to bed, okay?"
Monica glanced at the clock; it was only a bit after 7:00. "Sure, let me get your pill."
Once Jamia had swallowed her pill and crawled into bed she began to cry. She felt so bad for Monica, and she felt so helpless. She wanted so badly to do something to change the situation. She loved Monica like a sister and she knew she was going to get hurt; it was just a matter of time. She rolled over and hugged Frank's pillow. She missed him so much and she wished he were here to help her through all this drama.
Gerard closed the door behind him and smiled, "So how are you feeling?"
She sat up and smiled, "I feel better now that you're here. Gee, we really need to talk."
He sat down on the bed by her, "Sure"
Scooting closer to him she reached out and touched his arm, "Do you remember the fist thing you ever said to me?"
He searched his memory, "I asked you if I'd met you before."
She smiled, "Yeah, I'll always remember that day. It seems like a lifetime ago. Sometimes I wonder if we had met before, just in a different lifetime."
"A lot has happened in the years we've known each other." He reached out and touched her face, "So tell me what's really going on?"
Her smile faded, "I guess I've just been thinking about the past a lot lately. Thinking about how meeting you changed my life. How I felt like the world had crashed down on me when I found out you had a girlfriend back home. I didn't want to but I hated her."
He sat back and looked away, "Liv hated you too."
"Yeah, well she hates everybody. I never did understand why you stayed with her. When we were on Warped she was back home making demands, calling you at all hours just to mess with your mind." She grabbed the pillow and put it under her head so she could lie down. "I was right there with you, I heard all the vile things she said to you and I hated her more and more. I just wanted to protect you from her."
"And then one day she just up and disappeared," he said thinking back and hating the pain that still accompanied the memory.
"Yeah" she whispered, "She left you and I thought for a brief moment that maybe, just maybe you had really meant some of the things you had whispered to me in the dark. Those nights when we would slip away from the bus and find a place to be alone you would tell me your dreams. You would hold me and love me and I wanted to believe that in your heart it was me you were thinking about and not her." She closed her eyes a moment. "Gee, have you really gotten over Liv?"
He was shocked by the question, "Yeah, I really have. My life is so different now."
She opened her eyes and looked at him, "The day you told me about Liv leaving you I wanted to scream to the world that her control over you was over. That you were free, free to be with someone who really loved you. Someone who understood your moods, someone who accepted you as you were and didn't want to change you. I thought you were free and could be with me."
The silence of the room seemed to settle over them. Finally he spoke, "I don't know what to say." He laid down next to her and was staring at the ceiling.
"You don't have to say anything" she said sadly, "I understood my role in your life when you were with Liv. She was your girlfriend and I was the woman you came to when you needed love."
"I didn't mean to use you like that." He rolled his head on the pillow to look over at her. "You were my best friend."
She smiled but it was a smile without warmth "A best friend you could fuck when you need to."
"No, I didn't want it to be that way but I loved her so much. I couldn't leave her and you knew that."
She sighed, "Yeah you told me and I understood. So we snuck around and spent so much time together all the while telling the world we were just friends." She had tears in her eyes, "I kinda just thought that I was the girl who wasn't good enough or pretty enough to be your girlfriend. At least not for the world to see. But I was good enough in the dark wasn't I?"
He raised himself on one elbow and looked over at her, "That wasn't how it was. You were too good for me. I was a total shit then. My life was out of fucking control. I guess I was selfish. I needed you both."
"So I continued to meet you, to share moments together with you whenever we could. It was my choice."
"I'm sorry," he whispered to her.
"Don't be, like I said it was my choice. I would choose a few moments alone with you over anything else in the world. Cause for those few minutes you belonged to me." She rolled over and faced him. "Gee, why can't we be together? Haven't I earned it? Isn't it my turn?"
Her words shocked him, "But I told you I'm in love with Monica. She is everything to me."
Tears began to roll down her face, "Why can't you love me? Is there something wrong with me?"
He leaned over and wiped away some of the tears, "I love you like a friend, I always have. We slept together because I was a heartless bastard to you and took what you offered to me. You gave me love but I gave you sex."
His words pierced her heart. She laid her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes; "I don't want to live my life like I've been living it. I will be there for you Gee. Just like before. We can be friends for the world to see but only you and I will know." She moved closer to him and pressed her lips to his. For a brief moment he closed his eyes and remembered how she had made him feel. Her lips were warm and soft and he felt his body responding. Her arms were wrapped around him pulling him closer.
"NO" he tore his lips away and sat up. "I'm sorry for all the things I did. But I can't go back and change them. I love Monica now. I should never have started hanging with you like old times" He said slowly.
She couldn't believe he was slipping away, "Then love her but you still need me. I understand you, Gee. I know how to read your emotions. I will take care of you just like I did before.
Gerard stood and looked down at her, "I'm sorry, but it can't be like that. I will never cheat on Monica."
She saw her dreams crumbling before her eyes, "Gee, please listen to me. It can be just like before. To the world we'll just be friends."
He walked to the door and opened it, "I'm sorry but it has to be done. It's over."
She got up and walked over to him "You can't mean it, you need me. I will take care of you Gee. You know how I can make you feel." She tried to hug him but he moved away.
Guilt made him say," Look I'm sorry about the past. I screwed up so many things in my life but not anymore. I love Monica and I'm gonna marry her." He opened the door then stood back so she could walk out into the hall.
Shit, she thought what can I do to make him change his mind? She needed time to think. There had to be a way, perhaps if Monica knew what had been going on? It wouldn't be hard for their "friendship" to leak out. She and Gee had been spending so much time together and then there was the on-stage kiss. She tried not to smile when she thought about all the photos that were going to surface. Walking into the hall she turned, "Good night, Gee"
He smiled sadly, "Goodbye Eliza."
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