Chapter 16 - We Need To Feel Breathless With Love
3 weeks had passes, she'd hardly seen Patrick at all, she didn't question his motive for staying away either, it was how she expected him to be.
Shay mixed up cereal and milk for Natalie who sat in her high chair, swinging her legs nosily. Rory and Aimee were at school, she felt it was best to carry on as normal as she could with their routine.
As she helped her daughter feed herself, she sat exhausted at her table.
"You seriously need to sleep at night!" she said to her, Natalie smiled and Shay could only smile back.
The front door unlocked and Shay sat up suddenly.
Patrick walked into their kitchen and looked at his wife. Shay looked down immediately and stirred the bowl of food for her daughter. He walked in silently, leaning down to kiss his daughter's head affectionately.
"Dad-Dad!" she said excitedly.
"Hey beautiful..." he said softly, stroking her cheek softly. He glanced at Shay who's eyes remained low, she looked pale.
Patrick took the bowl from her and sat down on the other side of Natalie and took over from Shay's task of feeding his daughter.
"Are you hungry?" he asked excitedly, she squawked in agreement.
She clutched at his hand and took the spoon, feeding herself.
"You're such a clever girl!" he smiled,
Patrick stared at her as she ate contently, how could he have not known she was Pete's, now that he knew, all he could see was his best friend in her. It was the most awful truth of all.
Shay stood up slowly and walked away, leaving him time with his daughter.
"Shay." He said in a worrying tone.
She stopped but didn't turn around.
"Look at me." He said, she very slowly turned and looked at him.
Patrick studied her carefully.
"How could you have done this to me?" he asked, his eyes were angry.
Shay stared at him hard.
"I accept the consequences for what I've done - but I don't accept the responsibility of why this happened."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" he asked angrily.
"Don't make me tell you what you already know." She said.
He gathered his composure, his teeth grinding hard under his lips.
"I'm trying to change." He said calmly.
"It was too late Patrick.....way too late." Shay said, shaking her head.
"You slept with Pete - why is that my fault!??" he yelled. Natalie grew anxious at seeing her parents become distressed.
"You should've been home!!" Shay cried.
"I tried my best!"
"You're best wasn't good enough Patrick - don't you get that?? It wasn't enough!"
Natalie began wailing at the top of her lungs, Shay quickly took her out the high chair and consoled her.
"You're unbelievable." Patrick said.
"No." Shay said shaking her, she wiped her daughters tears.
"You're unbelievable." Shay said calmly.
"Because you actually put your own needs before those of your children and your wife....Patrick if you wanted a life of music and dreams - you should never have married me." She said weakly.
"I didn't want that..." he frowned.
"Then why did you put it first in your life?" she asked.
He stared at her again.
"I don't know." He said softly.
Shay walked away with Natalie but she stopped and turned.
"You know I hate doing this - I hate that I was unfaithful to you because there's no one I love more in this world than you Patrick, no-one! It was too late for me to realise how badly I loved you until I had these sessions and for the first time I had this clarity on exactly how superficial my feelings were for Pete. But one thing stays very real and one thing remains very deep.....and that's the nights I would be alone in my bed and the days I would struggle with the kids because you were pursuing your dreams." She said gently.
"So you whored yourself on Pete?" he asked disgusted.
Shay glared at him.
"I whored myself on Pete because he was the closest thing I had to you." She said, before walking out.
Patrick thought long and hard at the table. As much he didn't want to accept Shay's words, he had to in order to make sense of the situation he was in. His family home was absorbing him, despite the anger he had for Shay, he wanted to be back home. Even if it meant living different lives.
He walked along the hall to their bedroom and could hear her with Natalie in the bath. He moved quietly to the door and watched as she bathed with her daughter, just like they always did on Friday mornings.
Natalie splashed the water with her hands and giggled hysterically.
"Oh you're just being a pest-" Shay said, prodding her daughters belly.
"-A little pest!" she said.
Patrick stared at her, the issue when a partner was unfaithful to you was that, you thought everything was OK, the relationship did not want to stop on your part, so he found his feelings for her exactly the same.
He pulled back and leant against the wall.
She came out the bathroom in her bath robe and Natalie wrapped up tight, a little alarmed to see Patrick sat on the bed.
"I'll sort her out." Patrick said, she didn't say anything and handed her to Patrick.
Shay stared as he did everything perfectly, not that she ever scrutinized, she loved his hands on approach to parenting, he was so rough around the edges and it usually made her smile.
As he put the diaper on her, he yanked her up by the arms and she kicked her legs excitedly, bouncing up and down with his help on the bed.
"Patrick!" Shay said, wishing he wouldn't pull her up by the arms.
"She's fine!" he said smiling.
"Aren't you fine?"
"Bye!" Natalie said waving.
"No not bye..." Patrick said, picking her up and holding her close.
"You're such a beautiful girl, Daddy loves you so much..." he said softly, kissing her.
"Mommy kiss!" she said pointing.
Shay and Patrick stared at each other.
"How about another kiss for Natty?" he said, she laughed and he kissed her again.
Shay dressed herself, she felt incredibly lonely and it was worsened by the moment when he looked at her like that. She combed her hair gently as she sat on her bed.
"She went to sleep already." Patrick said, a little disappointed.
"It's 11.20, she always naps this time." Shay said gently.
Patrick watched her comb her long hair, the times he had taken over this task for her. He couldn't do it though, he wanted to, he wanted to badly.
He moved closer, Shay looked up at him and he pushed her shoulders down on to the bed and straddled over her, she looked petrified. His lips hit hers hard and she could feel how deep her confused brows were as he did.
There were no words at all, he just undressed her calmly and then laid her back down before undoing his own jeans. She pulled his shirt over his head and they kissed again hard and long.
He so comfortably went to her and she moaned gently, the feeling a little foreign to her. Within seconds he was driving hard into her and she gripped his face gently to her shoulder. Although she wanted it to be slow and intentional, she could feel he needed it to be this way and so she tried to keep up with his pace.
"You feel so good." He gasped , it only heightened her climax and her knees lifted inches higher, allowing him deeper access, his hands gripped around her thighs and he took advantage of the entrance she gave him.
Her sounds were a mixture of pleasure and discomfort as he sought out his final seconds and she felt the power of him as he reached it. She was gasping for breath and as she looked at her fingers over his shoulders, she could see they were shaking.
He pushed himself up onto his hands and he looked down at her. She glanced at him seeing the uncertainty of his actions in his eyes and it made her look away.
He fastened his jeans back up and pulled on his shirt and Shay lay there silently.
He walked into the bathroom and when he returned moments later, he saw Shay sitting up, holding her arms over her breasts.
"You should get dressed." He said and he walked out.
Shay's breathing became erratic and tears fell from the outside corner of her eyes.
She pulled on her clothes and cried. Not because of what he'd done to her, she deserved that.
But because of what she'd turned him into.
This took a while, it's hard getting it right... hope you enoy. Katy x
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