FicWad

Chapter Seventeen: Being Unworthy of Your Love (Is a Riot)

"Alice Bolton, I feel I have all the right in the world to say the following: a) you're demented b) you're delusional c) you're in love." Sarah stated from Alice's living room couch. Her mouth was full of peach. The juice dribbled down the side of her cheek as Alice took a glance at her happy friend. Disgusted, Alice voiced, "Oh, god, Sarah, could you be a bit less pig-sty-ish, and at least wipe the peach juice that is dropping out of your mouth like saliva?"

Sarah rolled her eyes and wiped up the mess clumsily. In the process of ditching the rest of her peach in the kitchen garbage bin, she asked from the kitchen:

"You know, I still can't believe you didn't run after him. After a guy pledges his love to you like that...I mean...come on Alice! Personally, I think you should've at least responded with a, 'I'm unworthy of your love, too!'...Or something soap-opera-ish like that...Alice. Alice. Um, Alice!"

Sarah threw a ball of tin foil at Alice's head. Alice looked up furtively, as if looking for something, but instead, she asked, "Huh? What? Did I miss something?" In response, Sarah shook her head, and told Alice, "If you're not conscious to the fact that you're in love, I pity you through and through. Really, Ali, I do."

After this small bit of input from Sarah, she told Alice that she was going to the park with Spencer, and drove off in her Corvette. That left Alice at home. It was the weekend, after all. She didn't like spending her weekends in the trailer on the set. It was always too lonely. No-one was ever there, except for a few of the cast members who didn't really have any other place to stay. (Especially if they came from other countries...)

It was like Brendon gave her a small taste of him. A sample of a perfume scent you'd get at Sephora, or Nordstroms...but you couldn't actually buy the goddamned perfume because it was too expensive.

What am I talking about? Brendon is NOT a perfume bottle, nor is he a sample. Most of all, it's not like I'm going to BUY him.

Sadly, Alice was completely subconscious to the fact that Brendon was under her control. He placed his love before her like a welcome mat. All she had to do was say the word, and they would be together. But it wasn't that easy on Alice's part.

See, Alice felt everything was complicated. When she first met him, she found him intriguing, then a disgusting pervert, then a potential boyfriend. Then it became potential lifemate/. Which obviously didn't end up working out. Fast forward four years...and he was her one enemy she wanted off the face of the earth. She wanted to curse him into oblivion, gain revenge for what she thought he was guilty of: cheating on her with his best band mate. And then...things started to get blurry. Things started to go way too fast all over again. Suddenly, their friendship became clearer, and then.../this

What was /this/? Up until recently, Alice couldn't figure it out. It was friendship, with an underlying, wafting scent of a real boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

I guess when you analyze something about someone, it always takes you back to the beginning to when you first met them. Alice pondered. Then she realized. Had she caused pain to Brendon this whole time? She knew it was probably the wrong thing to not tell him where she was those past few weeks, but...she didn't want him to /worry/, goddammit.

Then it became easy for Alice to start chastising herself for just about everything. Everything was her fault. Why did Brendon say that he was unworthy of her love?

It really was the other way around.

Brendon, I'd do anything for you...What do you want me to do?

*

Jon groaned extra loudly this time. He was staring at the blank, white ceiling. Finally, he got up, and screamed, "I. Can't. Take. This. Anymore!"

A daydreaming Brendon was snapped out of his reverie, only to blink at Jon with very innocent, big brown doe eyes. He asked softly, "Huh?"

Music played softly, but audibly, in the background. Ryan was unfazed by Jon's outburst and Brendon's daydreaming. In fact, Ryan was too busy trying to listen to the music.

"This is show music Jon," Ryan said to the nearly-insane Jon on the other side of the room. He continued on to say, "This is my new inspiration for the new album..."

Jon looked at him warily and murmured, "What the fuck is this called anyways?"

Thoroughly pissed off at Jon (due to the many interruptions), Ryan sighed, turned off the CD player, and consequently said to Jon in a deathly but somewhat calm voice, "It's called 'Unworthy Of Your Love'. I'm attempting another love song."

Before Ryan or Jon could have another go at one another, they could hear a distant, somewhat enchanting voice from between them. Brendon?

"I am...nothing. You are...wind, water, and sky...Alice...I am unworthy of your love. I would do anything for you...what do you want me to do?"

Ryan blinked at his protégé (Ryan's words, not Jon's or Spencer's...because truthfully, everyone except Ryan thought Brendon as a protégé would be a total wrecking ball in itself) and punched the air triumphantly, and ran over to hug Brendon before saying, "Brendon! You're a genius! THIS is why I write songs for your voice!"

Jon fumed, "We're not finished, Ryan. Why do you insist on this...incessant cabaret writing? This show music? It's nothing essential to culture...it's not rock, nor pop, nor hip-hop...I just...don't...get it."

Another voice sounded: "Jon, stop complaining." Spencer now entered the room, sipping at the Diet Coke in his hand. Everyone (aside from Brendon, who was still daydreaming) averted their gaze to Spencer, who sat down next to Brendon innocently. As if he wasn't really listening to the conversation at hand. As if he was just a witness to this...argument.

A pause.

Then an outbreak from Ryan:

"Jon, if you hate this so much like you say you do...then just...LEAVE."

Brendon pointed out, "But he lives here more than any of us."

Another pause.

"Fine, I'M leaving." Ryan hissed, and packed up his things before he left. He slammed the front door shut on the way out.

Spencer rolled his eyes before he looked at Jon with mock sympathy and said, "Nice going, Jonny boy."

At that point, Spencer left as well (probably to follow his best friend...) and the only two people in the room was Jon and Brendon.

Jon cleared his throat uncomfortably and said, "You know, Brendon, I always knew it was gonna burn down to just you and me."

Brendon looked up at Jon and asked, "What?"