Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > We're Both On Borderline Obsession
Being Unworthy of Your Love (Is a Riot)
3 reviewsPart #2...the one where I actually have an Author's Note.
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Chapter Seventeen: Being Unworthy of Your Love (Is a Riot) PART #2
Three days left.
That was how many filming days the cast had.
And still, Alice and Brendon couldn't bring themselves to have a proper conversation between each other. They knew they had to break the dam soon, because some sort of interview would find its way between the both of them. Or some reporter. Either way, they knew they had to start talking soon, or something or someone else would do the talking for them. (And they wouldn't want that.)
But by the end of the third day, Alice decided she wanted to skip the second to last day of filming. She didn't know why.
All she knew was that she needed some time to think.
So the second to last day arrived, finally, for Alice. And what was a mousy, frail girl like Alice to do on a bright, sunny afternoon in LA?
Of course, she reported to Derrick and Bonnie that she felt ill and therefore she wouldn't be on set that day. When Mel and Lily offered to take her out for coffee-which they haven't done in a long while, she still refused.
Alice needed space. That was all.
So she slipped on a pair of shades, and let herself loose on her own personal vacation. She drove around to the local Peets Coffee (which wasn't as full as the Starbucks next door...in fact, it was basically empty) and sat down at a table as soon as she had some iced chai in her hand.
The only other people in Peets besides the employees were a couple near the center of the room. The woman had flaming red and orange hair, and the man was dressed alternatively: skinny jeans, plaid shirt, and bandana around his head. The woman was in plaid pajama bottoms and a black sweater that was way too big for her. Both of them wore shades, and the woman had brought a cap that was sitting on the table in front of her.
Alice didn't know why she was intrigued by this couple. But they seemed pretty quiet except for the few scribbles the woman made on a notepad every now and then. Fifteen minutes passed while Alice sipped away at her iced chai thoughtfully. I wonder if Brendon's thinking about me now...
"Hello."
The woman with red flaming hair was now standing in front of her. Alice's eyes literally popped out of her head in surprise. How did this woman get in front of her so quick? I swear to god I visit Dreamland 24/7 these days...
"Whoa...um, hi." Alice replied like a mouse. Squeaky voice. A little bit high-pitched. Definitely afraid. The woman with red hair tried to smile (but managed to lopsidedly, Alice noted) as she sat down in the seat across from Alice.
Okay, so the woman wasn't really a /woman/. She seemed to embody the definition of 'teenager'. She had life to her eyes, a fire and spark to her attitude, and a 'shrug-who-cares' attitude about what she was wearing.
"I'm Hayley. I just...I need inspiration. I don't mean to burden you or anything, but I'm in a band, I'm attempting lyrics to a song, and it isn't working."
The woman-Hayley-was now staring at Alice. Alice blinked. Inspiration? She was coming to Alice for inspiration? Please...you're kidding me, right? What was so inspiring about Alice? Aside from the fact that her life is a total wreck because her relationship with Brendon wasn't working, she's practically being forced to write a sequel to her story, and the movie of her life seemed like a total failure.../How the fuck is that inspiring?/
The man that Hayley was with beforehand came out of nowhere (just like Hayley did with Alice) and told Hayley, "Hey Hails, I'm going to the store across the street. Call me when you get inspiration or whatever."
"Well you're a gigantic load of help. But okay." Hayley said dryly as her male friend stepped out of Peets.
Okay, /awkward/. Now it was just Alice and Hayley.
Alice spoke up:
"I really don't know how to inspire you at all, but if it helps, I'm in a semi-retarded relationship, a sequel of my story is practically being shoved down my throat, and the movie of my life will star the man in my semi-retarded relationship. And my life is coming full circle, finally, since like...four years ago. Or five. I don't remember anymore."
Hayley's eyes grew wide before she murmured, "Tell me everything."
Alice didn't know where to start. So she decided to start from the present and worked herself backwards.
Hayley jotted down notes.
And just in forty five minutes, Hayley already had two pages. Alice was so absorbed in telling her tale, that she almost didn't realize Hayley going, "Stop! Stop!...I've got it, it's perfect!"
Alice raised her eyebrows. Already? This girl was fast. Hayley grinned, and started reciting what she had down:
"Okay, well, I'm just going to spout these. But I'll explain! I'll explain how this ties in with you...and your relationship with your guy...
"Okay. It starts out like this: No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore..."
Alice overlapped her newfound friend's recitation to say, "Well, yeah...I don't want to be the blame...because Brendon kept telling me that I was to blame for his being in the hospital...and-"
"Wait, just listen: It's your turn to take the seat, we're settling the final score..."
"That's what I've been thinking! Precisely! We need to settle the score..." Alice exclaimed excitedly. She was so happy that finally, someone was understanding her. That someone was interpreting her thoughts exactly the way she imagined it.
Hayley nodded, as if to toss Alice's comment aside. Then she continued:
"And why do we like to hurt so much?...Actually, I just kinda added that....it seemed to fit, huh?" Hayley asked Alice as she erased and scribbled something on the side of her notepad. Alice mumbled something incoherent, but merely nodded. Hayley was pretty much correct. Why did Alice and Brendon like to hurt so much? They wanted to keep loving each other, but always ended up hurting each other more...
Alice tuned her thoughts out as she went back to listening to Hayley:
"And well, I can't decide...You have just made it harder for me to go on, and why, all the possibilities...well I was wrong."
Hayley paused. Alice looked up at her friend. Was there something wrong? Hayley scrunched her nose up, and murmured, "See, now I have a problem making the chorus..."
Silence. Then Alice voiced shakily, "I guess...that's what I get when I let my heart win..."
Silence. Hayley exclaimed, "Whoa!" And wrote down what Alice had said.
Alice beamed, and went on to say, "I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating...the sound of my heart beating, I mean..."
Hayley kept nodding, as if to tell Alice to keep going. She was jotting this down as they went. Alice bit her lip, thought for a moment, then stood up and said proudly:
"I wonder how I'm supposed to feel when he's not here! Oh my god...I'm holding on to all these silly things, I never learn, do I?...But that's what I get when I let my heart win. That's it. Hayley, I've got to just let my heart win. I think I already have! Thank you...I know you're not a shrink or anything but this has just helped me a lot, and if you ever need to call me...here's my number. I'm going to make our relationship work, Hayley. I'm going to do it. For Brendon and me."
After Alice said all this in a rush, she hugged Hayley-hard-and ran out the door. She didn't even hear Hayley mutter, "Wait, Brendon? As in...Brendon Urie...nah."
Coincidentally, both Alice and Brendon felt the same thing, although they were both at different places (Brendon on set and Alice in her car driving back to her place):
Their hearts had started a riot.
And they couldn't trust themselves with anything but their hearts.
A/N: We have one more chapter to go. This is so sad and liberating at the same time. Um...let's see...so there's credit to Paramore (their song is on here, if you didn't notice) and also the musical 'Assassins' for the song 'Unworthy of Your Love'. MEMORABLE QUOTES! :) Don't forget 'em.
OH. EM. GEE. ONE. MORE. CHAPTER. squee (Hm, did I just rhyme?)
ALSO: This is part two. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE CHAPTER GODDAMMIT, ficwad!!! So feel free to combine both parts into one review. (Ficwad will die for this...I've been trying to update the past two days but ficwad was being retarded.)
Three days left.
That was how many filming days the cast had.
And still, Alice and Brendon couldn't bring themselves to have a proper conversation between each other. They knew they had to break the dam soon, because some sort of interview would find its way between the both of them. Or some reporter. Either way, they knew they had to start talking soon, or something or someone else would do the talking for them. (And they wouldn't want that.)
But by the end of the third day, Alice decided she wanted to skip the second to last day of filming. She didn't know why.
All she knew was that she needed some time to think.
So the second to last day arrived, finally, for Alice. And what was a mousy, frail girl like Alice to do on a bright, sunny afternoon in LA?
Of course, she reported to Derrick and Bonnie that she felt ill and therefore she wouldn't be on set that day. When Mel and Lily offered to take her out for coffee-which they haven't done in a long while, she still refused.
Alice needed space. That was all.
So she slipped on a pair of shades, and let herself loose on her own personal vacation. She drove around to the local Peets Coffee (which wasn't as full as the Starbucks next door...in fact, it was basically empty) and sat down at a table as soon as she had some iced chai in her hand.
The only other people in Peets besides the employees were a couple near the center of the room. The woman had flaming red and orange hair, and the man was dressed alternatively: skinny jeans, plaid shirt, and bandana around his head. The woman was in plaid pajama bottoms and a black sweater that was way too big for her. Both of them wore shades, and the woman had brought a cap that was sitting on the table in front of her.
Alice didn't know why she was intrigued by this couple. But they seemed pretty quiet except for the few scribbles the woman made on a notepad every now and then. Fifteen minutes passed while Alice sipped away at her iced chai thoughtfully. I wonder if Brendon's thinking about me now...
"Hello."
The woman with red flaming hair was now standing in front of her. Alice's eyes literally popped out of her head in surprise. How did this woman get in front of her so quick? I swear to god I visit Dreamland 24/7 these days...
"Whoa...um, hi." Alice replied like a mouse. Squeaky voice. A little bit high-pitched. Definitely afraid. The woman with red hair tried to smile (but managed to lopsidedly, Alice noted) as she sat down in the seat across from Alice.
Okay, so the woman wasn't really a /woman/. She seemed to embody the definition of 'teenager'. She had life to her eyes, a fire and spark to her attitude, and a 'shrug-who-cares' attitude about what she was wearing.
"I'm Hayley. I just...I need inspiration. I don't mean to burden you or anything, but I'm in a band, I'm attempting lyrics to a song, and it isn't working."
The woman-Hayley-was now staring at Alice. Alice blinked. Inspiration? She was coming to Alice for inspiration? Please...you're kidding me, right? What was so inspiring about Alice? Aside from the fact that her life is a total wreck because her relationship with Brendon wasn't working, she's practically being forced to write a sequel to her story, and the movie of her life seemed like a total failure.../How the fuck is that inspiring?/
The man that Hayley was with beforehand came out of nowhere (just like Hayley did with Alice) and told Hayley, "Hey Hails, I'm going to the store across the street. Call me when you get inspiration or whatever."
"Well you're a gigantic load of help. But okay." Hayley said dryly as her male friend stepped out of Peets.
Okay, /awkward/. Now it was just Alice and Hayley.
Alice spoke up:
"I really don't know how to inspire you at all, but if it helps, I'm in a semi-retarded relationship, a sequel of my story is practically being shoved down my throat, and the movie of my life will star the man in my semi-retarded relationship. And my life is coming full circle, finally, since like...four years ago. Or five. I don't remember anymore."
Hayley's eyes grew wide before she murmured, "Tell me everything."
Alice didn't know where to start. So she decided to start from the present and worked herself backwards.
Hayley jotted down notes.
And just in forty five minutes, Hayley already had two pages. Alice was so absorbed in telling her tale, that she almost didn't realize Hayley going, "Stop! Stop!...I've got it, it's perfect!"
Alice raised her eyebrows. Already? This girl was fast. Hayley grinned, and started reciting what she had down:
"Okay, well, I'm just going to spout these. But I'll explain! I'll explain how this ties in with you...and your relationship with your guy...
"Okay. It starts out like this: No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore..."
Alice overlapped her newfound friend's recitation to say, "Well, yeah...I don't want to be the blame...because Brendon kept telling me that I was to blame for his being in the hospital...and-"
"Wait, just listen: It's your turn to take the seat, we're settling the final score..."
"That's what I've been thinking! Precisely! We need to settle the score..." Alice exclaimed excitedly. She was so happy that finally, someone was understanding her. That someone was interpreting her thoughts exactly the way she imagined it.
Hayley nodded, as if to toss Alice's comment aside. Then she continued:
"And why do we like to hurt so much?...Actually, I just kinda added that....it seemed to fit, huh?" Hayley asked Alice as she erased and scribbled something on the side of her notepad. Alice mumbled something incoherent, but merely nodded. Hayley was pretty much correct. Why did Alice and Brendon like to hurt so much? They wanted to keep loving each other, but always ended up hurting each other more...
Alice tuned her thoughts out as she went back to listening to Hayley:
"And well, I can't decide...You have just made it harder for me to go on, and why, all the possibilities...well I was wrong."
Hayley paused. Alice looked up at her friend. Was there something wrong? Hayley scrunched her nose up, and murmured, "See, now I have a problem making the chorus..."
Silence. Then Alice voiced shakily, "I guess...that's what I get when I let my heart win..."
Silence. Hayley exclaimed, "Whoa!" And wrote down what Alice had said.
Alice beamed, and went on to say, "I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating...the sound of my heart beating, I mean..."
Hayley kept nodding, as if to tell Alice to keep going. She was jotting this down as they went. Alice bit her lip, thought for a moment, then stood up and said proudly:
"I wonder how I'm supposed to feel when he's not here! Oh my god...I'm holding on to all these silly things, I never learn, do I?...But that's what I get when I let my heart win. That's it. Hayley, I've got to just let my heart win. I think I already have! Thank you...I know you're not a shrink or anything but this has just helped me a lot, and if you ever need to call me...here's my number. I'm going to make our relationship work, Hayley. I'm going to do it. For Brendon and me."
After Alice said all this in a rush, she hugged Hayley-hard-and ran out the door. She didn't even hear Hayley mutter, "Wait, Brendon? As in...Brendon Urie...nah."
Coincidentally, both Alice and Brendon felt the same thing, although they were both at different places (Brendon on set and Alice in her car driving back to her place):
Their hearts had started a riot.
And they couldn't trust themselves with anything but their hearts.
A/N: We have one more chapter to go. This is so sad and liberating at the same time. Um...let's see...so there's credit to Paramore (their song is on here, if you didn't notice) and also the musical 'Assassins' for the song 'Unworthy of Your Love'. MEMORABLE QUOTES! :) Don't forget 'em.
OH. EM. GEE. ONE. MORE. CHAPTER. squee (Hm, did I just rhyme?)
ALSO: This is part two. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE CHAPTER GODDAMMIT, ficwad!!! So feel free to combine both parts into one review. (Ficwad will die for this...I've been trying to update the past two days but ficwad was being retarded.)
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