Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I've Got the Gift of One Liners
If I controlled the world...
2 reviewsThis is gonna be a sad one so break out your tissues. ;_;
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The golden rays of the 9:00 sun coming through my blinds almost reminds me of my days as a kid, carefree. Like the rays of the sun, reaching out at what ever they can reach and knowing that it's boundaries are limitless. Like a learning child. "Aaahhh..." I thought, if only those days still existed, they would last forever if I could control the world. But now there only a fond memory floating in the confines of unknown space...
I wonder how they get jelly in doughnuts? Do they have little syringes or do they have small little gnomes that stuff it all inside. If I had a gnome I would name him Carl, and I'd teach Carl how to dance, the tango maybe, no no, the cabbage patch! Yeah! The cabbage patch!
The hands of the clock that sat upon the wall ticked with every passing second. It now read 9:30. I was alone in the hotel room, with no one to entertain me except myself.
No Haley, no Nadia, no Sammy, no Emma, no nobody.
Just the dust that still collected on the back of the tv and the unpaid phone bills that lay on the table. Of course the minutes on those phone bills were used up talking to Frank.
Frank. I've never cared more for a single person in my entire life. I heave a sigh as I put folded hands behind my head leaning back against the backboard of the bed with a bag of Lays Chips at my side as I watched Tyra Banks talk about the latest fashion trends for your body type. Eh, Frank, I wonder what your doing right now. Are you still asleep... Or are you at your dinner table enjoying your daily cup of Starbucks Coffee that I would never drink, but I would much enjoy "faking" to like it for you.
"We'll be right back with the new designer jeans that make your butt, bootylicious!" Tyra exclaimed, exposing her perfect bleached white teeth to the camera, for all the people of America with yellow stained teeth to see.
DING! Ah, my toast is now ready. Lazily I lifted myself out of bed rubbing the sleep that had still managed to stay attached to my eye lashes. The scent of freshly toasted bread was floating throughout the kitchen. Grabbing a small white plate I plucked the two pieces of toast from the toaster placing them on the plate.
I picked one up and moved it to my mouth when a sharp pain stung in my chest. The toast and the plate dropped from my hand, the plate shattering on impact. My left hand reached for my head and my other clutched to the fabric of my T-shirt. Everything was spinning and it was hard to keep focus with the pain.
I stumbled forward, my hand catching onto the counter stopping me from hitting the floor. Suddenly it became hard to take in any oxygen, and I broke into a fit of coughing. Each cough feeling more and more like molten lava up and down my esophagus, with each one the pain became even more excruciating, my eyes started to go dark as if someone had turned out my lamp when I had fallen asleep with it on. Although the feeling wasn't comfort, like the feeling you get, knowing someone cares enough about you to get up and turn off your light for you and maybe even watch you sleep. No, this feeling dread, dread and hate. Like a feeling of a friend who had stabbed you in the back and you exchange dirty looks while passing in the hallway at school. And maybe even a little fear, fear that you won't be able to make up with that girl, that girl who you had exchanged secrets with, the girl you had let read your diary, and told you which boy you had a crush on in your science class...
But why am I comparing this to losing a friend when it feels like I'm dying. Warm. Warm? Warm and wet... What is that? I look down to realize that there was blood dribbling down my shirt and dripping onto the tile floor. Blood? Coming from where? Did I hit my head? No...! At least I don't think I didn't... Or did I? I can't remember. I can't think straight. That problem is taken by surprise when I realize that the blood was coming from inside of my mouth. And suddenly, like a flash of light, like the lamp being shut off, it was over. The pain was gone. The feelings were gone. And all that remained was the blood on the floor. And the only feeling that I had was the warm blood still somewhat trickling down my chin.
My cell phone rang. Weakly I reached for it, taking a look at the caller I.D. It was Haley. I pressed the green TALK button holding it to my ear.
"Hello," I said hoarsely because of the coughing.
"Sarah, are you okay?" She asked a tone of worry apparent in her voice. I cleared my throat quickly regretting it feeling a pain that felt like a soar throat.
"No, I'm fine." I replied trying to sound as chipper as possible which was not easy.
"Okay, so you think you're up to a day of SHOPPING?!!!!!!" She exclaimed into the phone most likely adding jazz hands.
"That sounds good." If I could I would have declined the offer, but there was no way I could let them know this happened? I just can't find it in myself to do that. Not now at least.
"Great, how about I pick you up at noon."
"Sure, sounds good." I pressed the END button and tossed my phone to the side quickly wetting a wash cloth wiping the blood away from the floor. My clothes went to the trash can, and after a how shower I felt a teeny bit better, but still pretty crappy none the less. Slipping my white hoodie on I zipped it up stealing a glance at the clock. Haley would be here in about a few minutes.
All the evidence of the past events was now erased and they would never know what happen.
The door bell rang and I was greeted by a hug from Haley who had Mikey by her side along with Nadia and Ray, and Emma and Gerard.
"Hey bitch!" I smiled.
"Hey." I replied.
"Who is ready for some shopping?" Emma asked. Only the ladies out of the group cheered. Well, you must care if you let them drag you down to the many shops they'd want to go into to. Wait, something wasn't right... where was Frank?
"If you're wondering about Frank he had to go to the dentist."
"Oh." I laughed. That answers my question.
The sun outside was warm and seemed just as gentle as it did through my window. So far I had only bought a few things. My body was feeling unusually tired and I was getting really bad chills.
Haley, Nadia, and Emma were looking at shirts and I was off in the hoodies.
"Hey Sarah." My head tilted up and I felt dizzy for a moment falling back against something soft. Two hands held me in place by my shoulders. I turned, the hands removing themselves.
It was Gerard.
"Are you okay?" He asked sounding just as worried as Haley did. Even I couldn't kid myself.
"Don't worry about me. I'm fine, really."
"Okay." I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't buying what I had just said for one second, but he left it alone. I looked down wrapping my arms around myself. These chills just wouldn't stop.
*
"But Sarah chocolate chip is your favorite." Nadia pouted waving the cookie in my face. I really just couldn't stand to eat anything right now. It had gotten a bit worse from earlier this afternoon. All I wanted was to just fall onto a warm soft bed and sleep.
"I ate all ready anyway." I lied. My head rested in the palm of my hand as fatigue began to wave through me even more.
"Sarah, I think you should go back home and lay down. You don't look good." I smiled. Thank you Emma!
"Thanks," I pushed my chair throwing my empty cup of water into a nearby trash bin. Everyone else got up as well throwing away their trash. Suddenly that feeling hit me again.
My head tilted back.
"Sarah?" I sucked in a big breath of air, but it felt like I was going to suffocate again.
"Sarah!" Ray shouted catching my shoulders. My knees buckled and nearly gave out beneath me. People on the street had gathered a circle around us, curious of what was going on. Like we were animals in cages and I was on show.
I broke into a fit of coughing again, but with no blood this time. He lowered me to my knees as I continued coughing and gasping for air.
"Sarah what's wrong?" Nadia asked desperately scared out of her mind as was everyone else. My head lulled to the side resting against Ray's chest. Then everything went black.
*
I opened my eyes and I was inside a hospital room with doctors and nurses circled around me. My body felt weaker than ever, but this time it was easier to breath because of the tubes connected into my nose. Most of them were shaking their heads, looking down sadly.
"She's awake." One whispered. I caught a glimpse of a doctor that was shaking his head looking down at the floor. Why did he look so sad? Why was I even here? Oh yeah, because I passed out on the pavement.
"Where am I?" I asked groggily.
"You're in the hospital. You passed out." The doctor explained.
"Well what happened to me?" I asked. The doctor's face was stone cold. Like he didn't want to tell me what he knew.
"Sarah," he began sitting down on the edge of the hospital bed, "you're dying. Our test results show that you have tuberculosis." My mouth fell open, as the tears began to spill. Why was this happening to me? I'm too young to die...
"I'm dying?" I whispered. The words sounded foreign on my lips. This was not something I was supposed to be saying. The doctor's left the room and all that was left was a nurse. She was dressed in navy blue scrubs and she had soft black hair.
"Would you like us tell them or do you want to?" She asked placing her hand on my shoulder. Her touch was warm and caring, like a mother's. Warmth and care, just what I need. If only a mothers touch and warmth could cure anything in the world, that's how I'd make it work, if I controlled the world...
"I'll do it, but thank you." I replied. It would be the easy way to just let her go and do it. So they wouldn't have to see me like this. So I wouldn't have to face them. That would be easier to have her let go, and save me the grief of hoping and thinking that her motherly touch would cure me.
But, things don't work like that and I have to do this. For myself and for them. Her hand slipped away from my shoulder and she went out to go and get them for me. The door opened and three bodies hugged me tightly.
"Oh my god Sarah you scared the crap outta me!" Haley scolded smiling. She wouldn't be smiling for long.
"So what'd they say was wrong with ya?" Nadia asked releasing me. I couldn't hold it in anymore. The tears came and they just wouldn't stop. Emma placed her hands onto my shoulders.
"What's the matter, you can tell me." I would like to tell you so much. I would like tell you that I'm going to be all right when that's a lie, that I don't have some disease that kills people, that everything will be all right, but there is nothing to tell but the truth.
"I'm...I'm...I'm dying" I chocked out. Everyone's faces went white with shock.
"Wh-what?!" She stuttered.
"I have tuberculosis." I looked down at the blanket in shame rubbing the soft material in between my fingers. Right now I wished I could have died instead of seeing the looks on their faces knowing that we were all going to loose so much.
I took Emma into my arms as she cried.
"You can't die. You just can't!" She squeaked. Nadia and Haley hugged me as well.
"I wish I couldn't. I wish I didn't have it, but I do." Ray put his hand over his mouth as his eyes watered.
"How long?" He asked.
"I don't know." And that is what scared me most. That I didn't know how much time I had left, I could die tomorrow, but I would never know. I want to have my time, to do the things I want to do with my friends and family, but I don't know if I'll even have the time to. It feels like a sick joke. A sick joke that only God could play. He seemed to be taking everything away from me that I reached for. He would trick me into false happiness opening his arms out to me so then he just push me down in the dirt and kick me in the teeth.
Gerard began to pull out his cell phone.
"Sarah, do you want me to tell Frank?" He asked.
"No!" Gerard looked stunned by my answer. I glanced up at my friends faces to discover that all their faces looked the same. Stunned. Stunned and confused.
"But, he deserves to know! The man that love's you deserves to know that you're dying!" Gerard argued and pulled his cell phone the rest of the way out of his pocket.
He was right.
He loves me. Doesn't he? But I'd worry. If he knew that I was dying would he feel the same? Would he stay with me? Or only out of pity? "Er!" I dug my fingers into the somewhat soft sheets of the hospital bed as if I expected to dig up the answers to my problems there. Dig. Grab it tight. And pull it back.
"No... I mean, not yet. I'll tell him when the time is right, I'll tell him. I promise." He closed his mouth and nodded. The look of stunned fear seemed to fade from my friends faces, but still lingered. A flicker of disbelief hung deep into their eyes like they didn't believe that I would tell him. I would procrastinate and pull out the matter until the last second. Like I wouldn't tell him... Until it was too late.
I would try to do it. I just don't know how I'll do it.
It all ends today...
I would like to dedicate this chapter to my lovely friend Ruthie who wrote it along by me and we didn't give up on making this as depressing as we could at the wee hours of the morning even after half of it was deleted cause the computer was being a whore. I hope you found that at least sad. I would really like it if even your eyes watered a little. But I will stick with what I can get. Thanks for reading this story so far so do my favorite thing and REVIEW IT!!! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder how they get jelly in doughnuts? Do they have little syringes or do they have small little gnomes that stuff it all inside. If I had a gnome I would name him Carl, and I'd teach Carl how to dance, the tango maybe, no no, the cabbage patch! Yeah! The cabbage patch!
The hands of the clock that sat upon the wall ticked with every passing second. It now read 9:30. I was alone in the hotel room, with no one to entertain me except myself.
No Haley, no Nadia, no Sammy, no Emma, no nobody.
Just the dust that still collected on the back of the tv and the unpaid phone bills that lay on the table. Of course the minutes on those phone bills were used up talking to Frank.
Frank. I've never cared more for a single person in my entire life. I heave a sigh as I put folded hands behind my head leaning back against the backboard of the bed with a bag of Lays Chips at my side as I watched Tyra Banks talk about the latest fashion trends for your body type. Eh, Frank, I wonder what your doing right now. Are you still asleep... Or are you at your dinner table enjoying your daily cup of Starbucks Coffee that I would never drink, but I would much enjoy "faking" to like it for you.
"We'll be right back with the new designer jeans that make your butt, bootylicious!" Tyra exclaimed, exposing her perfect bleached white teeth to the camera, for all the people of America with yellow stained teeth to see.
DING! Ah, my toast is now ready. Lazily I lifted myself out of bed rubbing the sleep that had still managed to stay attached to my eye lashes. The scent of freshly toasted bread was floating throughout the kitchen. Grabbing a small white plate I plucked the two pieces of toast from the toaster placing them on the plate.
I picked one up and moved it to my mouth when a sharp pain stung in my chest. The toast and the plate dropped from my hand, the plate shattering on impact. My left hand reached for my head and my other clutched to the fabric of my T-shirt. Everything was spinning and it was hard to keep focus with the pain.
I stumbled forward, my hand catching onto the counter stopping me from hitting the floor. Suddenly it became hard to take in any oxygen, and I broke into a fit of coughing. Each cough feeling more and more like molten lava up and down my esophagus, with each one the pain became even more excruciating, my eyes started to go dark as if someone had turned out my lamp when I had fallen asleep with it on. Although the feeling wasn't comfort, like the feeling you get, knowing someone cares enough about you to get up and turn off your light for you and maybe even watch you sleep. No, this feeling dread, dread and hate. Like a feeling of a friend who had stabbed you in the back and you exchange dirty looks while passing in the hallway at school. And maybe even a little fear, fear that you won't be able to make up with that girl, that girl who you had exchanged secrets with, the girl you had let read your diary, and told you which boy you had a crush on in your science class...
But why am I comparing this to losing a friend when it feels like I'm dying. Warm. Warm? Warm and wet... What is that? I look down to realize that there was blood dribbling down my shirt and dripping onto the tile floor. Blood? Coming from where? Did I hit my head? No...! At least I don't think I didn't... Or did I? I can't remember. I can't think straight. That problem is taken by surprise when I realize that the blood was coming from inside of my mouth. And suddenly, like a flash of light, like the lamp being shut off, it was over. The pain was gone. The feelings were gone. And all that remained was the blood on the floor. And the only feeling that I had was the warm blood still somewhat trickling down my chin.
My cell phone rang. Weakly I reached for it, taking a look at the caller I.D. It was Haley. I pressed the green TALK button holding it to my ear.
"Hello," I said hoarsely because of the coughing.
"Sarah, are you okay?" She asked a tone of worry apparent in her voice. I cleared my throat quickly regretting it feeling a pain that felt like a soar throat.
"No, I'm fine." I replied trying to sound as chipper as possible which was not easy.
"Okay, so you think you're up to a day of SHOPPING?!!!!!!" She exclaimed into the phone most likely adding jazz hands.
"That sounds good." If I could I would have declined the offer, but there was no way I could let them know this happened? I just can't find it in myself to do that. Not now at least.
"Great, how about I pick you up at noon."
"Sure, sounds good." I pressed the END button and tossed my phone to the side quickly wetting a wash cloth wiping the blood away from the floor. My clothes went to the trash can, and after a how shower I felt a teeny bit better, but still pretty crappy none the less. Slipping my white hoodie on I zipped it up stealing a glance at the clock. Haley would be here in about a few minutes.
All the evidence of the past events was now erased and they would never know what happen.
The door bell rang and I was greeted by a hug from Haley who had Mikey by her side along with Nadia and Ray, and Emma and Gerard.
"Hey bitch!" I smiled.
"Hey." I replied.
"Who is ready for some shopping?" Emma asked. Only the ladies out of the group cheered. Well, you must care if you let them drag you down to the many shops they'd want to go into to. Wait, something wasn't right... where was Frank?
"If you're wondering about Frank he had to go to the dentist."
"Oh." I laughed. That answers my question.
The sun outside was warm and seemed just as gentle as it did through my window. So far I had only bought a few things. My body was feeling unusually tired and I was getting really bad chills.
Haley, Nadia, and Emma were looking at shirts and I was off in the hoodies.
"Hey Sarah." My head tilted up and I felt dizzy for a moment falling back against something soft. Two hands held me in place by my shoulders. I turned, the hands removing themselves.
It was Gerard.
"Are you okay?" He asked sounding just as worried as Haley did. Even I couldn't kid myself.
"Don't worry about me. I'm fine, really."
"Okay." I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't buying what I had just said for one second, but he left it alone. I looked down wrapping my arms around myself. These chills just wouldn't stop.
*
"But Sarah chocolate chip is your favorite." Nadia pouted waving the cookie in my face. I really just couldn't stand to eat anything right now. It had gotten a bit worse from earlier this afternoon. All I wanted was to just fall onto a warm soft bed and sleep.
"I ate all ready anyway." I lied. My head rested in the palm of my hand as fatigue began to wave through me even more.
"Sarah, I think you should go back home and lay down. You don't look good." I smiled. Thank you Emma!
"Thanks," I pushed my chair throwing my empty cup of water into a nearby trash bin. Everyone else got up as well throwing away their trash. Suddenly that feeling hit me again.
My head tilted back.
"Sarah?" I sucked in a big breath of air, but it felt like I was going to suffocate again.
"Sarah!" Ray shouted catching my shoulders. My knees buckled and nearly gave out beneath me. People on the street had gathered a circle around us, curious of what was going on. Like we were animals in cages and I was on show.
I broke into a fit of coughing again, but with no blood this time. He lowered me to my knees as I continued coughing and gasping for air.
"Sarah what's wrong?" Nadia asked desperately scared out of her mind as was everyone else. My head lulled to the side resting against Ray's chest. Then everything went black.
*
I opened my eyes and I was inside a hospital room with doctors and nurses circled around me. My body felt weaker than ever, but this time it was easier to breath because of the tubes connected into my nose. Most of them were shaking their heads, looking down sadly.
"She's awake." One whispered. I caught a glimpse of a doctor that was shaking his head looking down at the floor. Why did he look so sad? Why was I even here? Oh yeah, because I passed out on the pavement.
"Where am I?" I asked groggily.
"You're in the hospital. You passed out." The doctor explained.
"Well what happened to me?" I asked. The doctor's face was stone cold. Like he didn't want to tell me what he knew.
"Sarah," he began sitting down on the edge of the hospital bed, "you're dying. Our test results show that you have tuberculosis." My mouth fell open, as the tears began to spill. Why was this happening to me? I'm too young to die...
"I'm dying?" I whispered. The words sounded foreign on my lips. This was not something I was supposed to be saying. The doctor's left the room and all that was left was a nurse. She was dressed in navy blue scrubs and she had soft black hair.
"Would you like us tell them or do you want to?" She asked placing her hand on my shoulder. Her touch was warm and caring, like a mother's. Warmth and care, just what I need. If only a mothers touch and warmth could cure anything in the world, that's how I'd make it work, if I controlled the world...
"I'll do it, but thank you." I replied. It would be the easy way to just let her go and do it. So they wouldn't have to see me like this. So I wouldn't have to face them. That would be easier to have her let go, and save me the grief of hoping and thinking that her motherly touch would cure me.
But, things don't work like that and I have to do this. For myself and for them. Her hand slipped away from my shoulder and she went out to go and get them for me. The door opened and three bodies hugged me tightly.
"Oh my god Sarah you scared the crap outta me!" Haley scolded smiling. She wouldn't be smiling for long.
"So what'd they say was wrong with ya?" Nadia asked releasing me. I couldn't hold it in anymore. The tears came and they just wouldn't stop. Emma placed her hands onto my shoulders.
"What's the matter, you can tell me." I would like to tell you so much. I would like tell you that I'm going to be all right when that's a lie, that I don't have some disease that kills people, that everything will be all right, but there is nothing to tell but the truth.
"I'm...I'm...I'm dying" I chocked out. Everyone's faces went white with shock.
"Wh-what?!" She stuttered.
"I have tuberculosis." I looked down at the blanket in shame rubbing the soft material in between my fingers. Right now I wished I could have died instead of seeing the looks on their faces knowing that we were all going to loose so much.
I took Emma into my arms as she cried.
"You can't die. You just can't!" She squeaked. Nadia and Haley hugged me as well.
"I wish I couldn't. I wish I didn't have it, but I do." Ray put his hand over his mouth as his eyes watered.
"How long?" He asked.
"I don't know." And that is what scared me most. That I didn't know how much time I had left, I could die tomorrow, but I would never know. I want to have my time, to do the things I want to do with my friends and family, but I don't know if I'll even have the time to. It feels like a sick joke. A sick joke that only God could play. He seemed to be taking everything away from me that I reached for. He would trick me into false happiness opening his arms out to me so then he just push me down in the dirt and kick me in the teeth.
Gerard began to pull out his cell phone.
"Sarah, do you want me to tell Frank?" He asked.
"No!" Gerard looked stunned by my answer. I glanced up at my friends faces to discover that all their faces looked the same. Stunned. Stunned and confused.
"But, he deserves to know! The man that love's you deserves to know that you're dying!" Gerard argued and pulled his cell phone the rest of the way out of his pocket.
He was right.
He loves me. Doesn't he? But I'd worry. If he knew that I was dying would he feel the same? Would he stay with me? Or only out of pity? "Er!" I dug my fingers into the somewhat soft sheets of the hospital bed as if I expected to dig up the answers to my problems there. Dig. Grab it tight. And pull it back.
"No... I mean, not yet. I'll tell him when the time is right, I'll tell him. I promise." He closed his mouth and nodded. The look of stunned fear seemed to fade from my friends faces, but still lingered. A flicker of disbelief hung deep into their eyes like they didn't believe that I would tell him. I would procrastinate and pull out the matter until the last second. Like I wouldn't tell him... Until it was too late.
I would try to do it. I just don't know how I'll do it.
It all ends today...
I would like to dedicate this chapter to my lovely friend Ruthie who wrote it along by me and we didn't give up on making this as depressing as we could at the wee hours of the morning even after half of it was deleted cause the computer was being a whore. I hope you found that at least sad. I would really like it if even your eyes watered a little. But I will stick with what I can get. Thanks for reading this story so far so do my favorite thing and REVIEW IT!!! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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