Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Apologies, Glances and Messed Up Chances.

Its you I can't deny

by sillyperson 4 reviews

review please I felt a cold hand grab mine; it was the only part of my body that wasn't aching. "Elspeth?" I heard a voice ask. I tried to open my eyes but I could only force one of them open...

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: G - Genres: Drama, Romance - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2007-07-10 - Updated: 2007-07-10 - 1535 words

Elspeth's POV

I felt a cold hand grab mine; it was the only part of my body that wasn't aching.

"Elspeth?" I heard a voice ask.

I tried to open my eyes but I could only force one of them open since the other jabbed a pain sharp across my face whenever I tried to move it. I flickered my eye open and stared at his tear stained face.

"Ryan?" I said hoarsely, he smiled softly at me and I could see the relief in his eyes. My attention drew to the doctor who was stood on the other side of the bed.

"Wh-what...happened?" I asked feeling a wave of confusion run over me.

"Elspeth, you've just come out of were stabbed, do you remember that?" The doctor asked slowly. My mind flickered it was like I was looking back in time, I could remember the pain of the blade slicing through me...and that cold uncaring stare.

"Y-y-yeah..." I stuttered feeling the tears stain my face.

"I think it would be better if she had some privacy." The doctor said to the other people that were in the room, it didn't really register with me who though.

I felt the grip in my hand loosen, "No...stay." I said nervously.

"Okay." He said glancing at Brendon and giving him a confused look. "Are you sure I'm the right person that you want to stay?" He asked with perching on the bed. I bit my bottom lip and stared out the window, I saw Brendon with his arm wrapped around Jenna.

"I'm certain." I said as I gripped tighter on his hand, feeling the warmness of his skin mesh with the coldness of mine.

" I know all this is very traumatic...but when you were stabbed the knife pierced your Spleen and caused major internal bleeding. So...we had to repair it." The doctor explained concerningly. I paused for a while to take in the fact I almost died.

" is it all okay now?" I asked nervously feeling my hand sweat in Ryan's.

"Yes your Spleen also gained a deep laceration to your right eye, and although at first glance we thought it was only superficial, I am may have lost your sight in that eye. Further tests and treatment may help to regain it...but the probability is very low." He explained.

I felt my hand start to shake, " is all a dream, stop twisting with my head! Tell me he's lying Ryan!" I cried feeling the tears crashed form my eyelid.

"Miss Rae I know this all seem new and confusing, but it will get easier...its only natural that you react like this." The doctor said calmly.

Ryan shuffled closer to me on the bed and carefully wrapped his arms around me avoiding my stitches. I buried my head into his shoulder and wept.

"I'll be back later to check on you." The doctor said while leaving the room.

Ryan gently rocked me on my bed as I let the tears out. He was conscious to the fact that the blinds were open; he quickly got up and closed them so people couldn't see my current state. He sat back down on the bed as he did before and just held me.

"I'm not going to let you down." He said softly.

To anybody who didn't know the whole story would just presume that my tears were of the current shock of being stabbed...but no...that was far from the truth. I hated the fact that Brendon was stood outside and Ryan was in here, I bet he didn't even mean those things he said...I still remember. Just the famous last words that he thought I wanted to hear.

"This shouldn't be you..." I muttered in Ryan's ear. He bit his bottom lip and stared into my watery blue eyes. It felt like in the last twenty-four hours I lost everything...Pete, my sight, my dignity...and most importantly Brendon.

"He's a should of just stayed should have kept the guards up and not let him through...even if it does feel better to give in." Ryan said honestly while passing me a tissue.

"'s him I can't deny." I said truthfully while letting my hand stroke the band on my face.

"No...he's not...this has happens all the time with you and Brendon, and one of you always ends up with a broken heart. Heck...maybe you are meant to be...but don't listen to that voice that's singing in your head, because, the time probably isn't've got enough to worry about at the moment without Brendon Urie climbing into the picture." He said seriously, his words didn't hurt...they kind of helped me see the larger view on the situation.

He was only trying to protect me, it's something Ryan had always tried to do, and he had warned me about Brendon before, if only I had listened. I wiped my eyes as Ryan passed me his handheld mirror.

"It doesn't look to bad." He said while getting up and sitting in the chair next to me.

"Yeah but you can't see underneath the bandage can you? Just because something looks nice it doesn't mean to say it is, it's bruised and feels a mess." I said frankly. Ryan lowered his eyebrows and bit his lip, I wouldn't want to be in his position, infact it shouldn't have been him sat there...he and I both knew that. I sighed to myself uncomfortably as the door opened and Brendon nervously put his head around it.

"Do you really think you need to be in here?" Ryan asked with a hint of anger creeping into the tone of his voice.

"Ryan, just let me talk to Elspeth." He said uncomfortably.

"Rye...I think me and Brendon need to talk." I said softly while not making eye contact with Brendon.

He nodded and left the room while exchanging a sly glance with Brendon who was stood opposite my bed with his hands nervously shoved in his pockets. The door slowly closed and there was complete silence as he nervously paced closer to me.

"Brendon why are you here?" I asked feeling the tears starting to stack up again.

"Because I care," He said seriously while sitting on the side of the bed next to me.

" much so, when I woke up Ryan was the one that held me together while you sat on the sidelines." I said coldly.

"Elspeth, what am I supposed to do? I can't just...its hard for me." He said raising his voice a little.

"It's hard for you!? I have lost my eyesight, I can't see, that's fucking hard and what for, for nothing. I remember every last word you spat out in that car...too bad I didn't smell the bullshit." I said letting the tear scrape down my cheek.

"Elspeth...I meant everything, you are my everything and I really don't know what I would have done if you died today. So please just let me back in." He paused, "I do love you...and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to tell the moment the position I'm in isn't where I wanna be." He said while nervously playing with his zip on his hoody.

I combed my hand through my hair and stared at him, his eyes locked with mine...I wanted to hate him but I just couldn't.

"Brendon...we've been through this so many times, we've walked the same stairs, and I don't think I want to do this anymore." I said feeling the tears crash from my eyelids, "Everyday I wake up and I wish that I don't love you...but I do, I just can't help myself. I don't want to love you...but it feels better to give in. Just let me go." I said in-between moments of wiping my eyes. I noticed his mouth drop; he moved up the bed and placed his hands gently on my cheeks.

"No Elspeth...I've done that before and look where that got me. If you really think this isn't going to work then I will prove it..." He paused and gently placed his lips against mine and left a firm, sweet kiss. "Marry me." He said while not loosing eye contact with me.

I felt my heart flutter as I finally heard the words that I had wanted to hear for quite some time now. The door slammed open and Brendon quickly moved away from me.

"Spencer?" I asked noticing his puffy red eyes being drawn to the ground; he slumped on the chair and held his head in his hands.

"Spencer?" I asked again using a softer tone of voice.

"She's...gone." He said finally while letting the tears drip down his face. "Hayley's dead." He said while staring at me and Brendon with his watery eyes.

What do youthink please review...dunno how many more chaps im gonna do but please review :D
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