FicWad

(Ryan's POV)(Current time and date)
I've been locked up in my old apartment.
Mine and Tasha's old apartment.
After the funeral, that I didn't go to, us guys decided that we needed a break from everything.
We were going to write our first CD after our break.
We thought that 2 months would be a good time to take off to get our minds back to normal.
For the past 4 weeks or so, I've just been laying in my bed.
Our old bed.
Tasha didn't take anything.
Not even her clothes.
Everything was still where we left it before we left to go on tour.
I never told Roxy where I went to.
My cell phone just kept ringing.
I smashed it on a table that had a bunch of pictures of me and Tasha, and it broke.
So no more ringing.
The apartment phone only would ring from time to time, and when it would, I would end up bawling my eyes out.
Only because, the answering machine was of Tasha and I..
Finishing each other's sentences.
We always tended to do that.
We didn't really notice it either.
It was just normal since we were just so close.
There was no getting her back.
It had been a year and a half since our break up.
I admit, I was harsh about it all.
I should have talked to her, like that guy in that movie did.
Damn, I'm the worst boyfriend ever.
WAS the worst.
I had to suck it up.
I would never get her back.
There was NO way that I would.
The house phone rang.
And as normal, the tears followed.
"Ryan! RYAN!! Answer this phone. RIGHT NOW! Come on man. I gotta talk to you." He said.
Brendon.
I sighed.
"I know you can hear me. C'mon dude. Answer, please? I'm not hanging up. So you're gonna HAVE to answer the phone. If you DON'T answer, I'm breaking down the door to your apartment." He said.
"Ugh, FINE!" I screamed to the air.
I walked out of the main bedroom into the kitchen, where the phone was.
Brendon just kept talking.
I answered, "What do you want?"
"I need to talk to you. In person. You better let me in when I get there." He said.
"Ugh, Fine. Whatever. Bye." I said and hung up the phone.
I just sat on the sofa.
In the process of waiting for Brendon, I fell asleep on the sofa, only to be haunted by dreams.. or were they nightmares?

(Ryan's nightmare)
There she was.
The new student in our school.
"Hey, dude. Stop staring." Spencer whispered to me.
"What?" I asked, still in a daze.
"Stop staring at her. She'll notice." He said.
I didn't listen to him.
She was the most gorgeous girl that my eyes had ever laid eyes on.
All sorts of guys were over her, trying to get questions answered.
Questions like 'where are you from?', 'wanna hook up?', 'whats your name?'.
She didn't answer any of them.
I wouldn't either.
If they wanted to know something from ME, I'd rather them act nice, and not pounce on me like I was new meat.
But of course, she was new meat.
There was no one more beautiful that she was.
So that's why all of the guys in the school went mad when they saw her.
I wasn't the only one.
In the boys' locker room, all you would hear the guys talking about is how they manipulated her to bed and what not.
I didn't believe them.
She didn't seem like that type.
I knew they were all lying.
Because, when it came to that one question, 'What's her name?', they all had a different answer.
Roxanne, Julia, Ruby, Andie, Taylor, any name. You name it, they said it.
I laughed at them.
How could one girl have all these names.
Of course, no one knew what her name was.
The teachers rarely called on her in class, due to certain requests by yours truly, her.
I don't blame her.
But today was my day.
I WOULD talk to her, and she WOULD answer me.
Lunchtime was now over.
It was time for Art Class; one of the many classes that I had with her.
Today, we were switching seats, because it was half way through the year.
When we got our assigned seats, I thanked my lucky little stars.
Obviously, someone heard my prayers.
"Hi, I'm Ryan." I said to her after the teacher gave us our checklist for the week.
She looked up at me, and smiled lightly.
She then looked back down to her checklist, and reached into her bag and got out her Ipod.
When she finally had her Ipod totally out, I was shocked.
I pulled mine out of my pocket and put it up to hers.
She laughed lightly.
"Walmart.." we both said.
Whoa.
We both just looked at each other.
She had such beautiful brown eyes.
"I'm Tasha." She said lightly.
And her voice.. it was amazingly beautiful too.
"Nice to meet you, Tasha." I said and put out my hand to shake hers.
She surprisingly shook my hand back.
"So, what's on your checklist?" I asked her, in hopes that I could keep a conversation going.
"Oh, nothing really." She said and handed me her checklist.
Exactly what I was assigned to do.
Draw a picture of something that you love.
10 new 'art' related vocab words with definitions.
And a project, due at the end of the week.
"Oh wow. We have the exact same schedule." I said surprised.
"Really?" She asked and picked up my checklist.
"Wow, we do." She said.
She gave my checklist back and I gave hers back.
She then turned on her Ipod, and started at her checklist.
Oh well.
I got her name, right?
Score?
Score!
After class, she looked at me.
"Hey, Ryan?" She asked.
"Yeah?" I asked with a smile because she remembered my name.
"Do you think you could tell me where room 201 is?" She asked.
"Yeah. My next class is right next to that one." I lied.
It was the total opposite direction of her class.
"Okay, thanks." She smiled.
On our way to her class we talked about what bands we each like, and what we each like to do.
Surprisingly, we both liked the same things.
Before we reached her class, she said "Thanks. I see it from now."
"Oh, no problem. I'll catch you later?" I half asked half said.
"Yeah. Definately." She said and then I turned back around to run to my next class.
It was a study period, so I'm sure the teacher wouldn't mind if I was late.
I could just tell him that I had to ask my one teacher a question after class.
Yeah.
Time went so slow from there on.
All I did was think about how lovely her voice sounded.
Her name was lovely as well.
Tasha; I'm sure short for Natasha.
I don't know for sure though.
School finally ended.
I made my way to my car, only to find a very lost Tasha.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked her, and she spun around startled.
"I think I missed my bus." She said with a frown.
"Ohh. Well.. I could give you a ride home if you want?" I asked her.
She smiled.
"Really?" She asked.
"Yeah, I'd actually love to." I smiled.
I then gave myself a mental smack because of how forward that just sounded.
She smiled wider, even though I had sounded forward.
Maybe she liked me?
Who knew.
Definately not me.
We both got in the car.
Once I had started the car, VERRRYYY loud music came from the car's speakers.
"Oh shit. Sorry." I said apologetically and turned down the music.
"It's okay. I like music loud." She said and turned the music back up.
I laughed.
It was crazy at how much we were alike.
Tasha had told me where her house was, and I knew exactly where that was.
It was sort of near Spencer's house.
I had a mixed cd in the cd player.
First, Fall Out Boy's 'The Music Or The Misery' came on. Then Blink 182's 'All The Small Things'.
Then we got near her house.
Just then, Story Of The Year's 'Until The Day I Die' came on.
Surprisingly, she knew all of these songs.
"Well, I guess this is your stop." I said as I lowered the music a bit so we could hear each other talk.
And I then pulled over to the curb.
She looked at me sweetly.
"Thanks for giving me a ride. I owe you." She smiled.
"No problem." I said.
We just sat there for a few more seconds, staring into each other's eyes.
Slowly, we both started leaning towards the other.
Our lips were just about to touch- when...
(End of dream)

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
"RYAN!?" Brendon yelled from the front door.
I jumped up from the sofa, in fear.
I sighed, finally remembering what was going on.
"Hang on. I'll be there in a second." I yelled to the front door and straightened out my 4 day old clothes.
I finally got to the door and opened it so Brendon could come in.
"Sorry. I fell asleep on the sofa." I said to him.
"It's okay. Can I come in?" he asked before coming into the apartment.
"Sure." I said and moved away from the door opening so he could come in.
Once he was in, I shut the door and re-locked it.
We both made our way to a table.
Brendon was about to sit at a table with pictures on it.
Yes, the same table that I smashed my phone on.
"Dude. Not there." I told him, as he just looked at my smashed phone.
"Ooohkkayy." He said, and walked over to the kitchen table.
We both sat down.
"Okay, what did you wanna talk about?" I asked, but I knew what he wanted to talk about.
Tasha.
"Look, Ryan. I'm sorry about Na- I mean, Tasha. I didn't know that she was her." He said, looking down at his fidgeting hands.
I sighed.
Here's the part where I say how big of an ass I was.
"Brendon, I'm the one that should be sorry. I really over reacted about the whole thing. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you for a while. And I'm sorry that you and Tasha didn't work out before..." I trailed off.
"No, you shouldn't be sorry. I mean, it's my fault that you and her aren't together. If it wasn't for the fact that her and I had history, then we wouldn't have this problem now would we?" He asked.
"True. But still.. " I said but he cut me off.
"You still love her." He stated, noticing that I still did.
"You still love her." He said again, as if he was JUST noticing this.
"YES, I STILL LOVE HER. Dumbass. She's my heart." I said.
"Oh, sorry Ryan. Maybe you should try talk-" He said but I interrupted him, because I knew EXACTLY what he would say.
"I can't talk to her. She doesn't deserve me. She doesn't. I feel so bad, because all she wanted to do was to tell me, but she was afraid of losing me, so she hid her secret, and took it out on her body." I said sadly.
"What?" He asked confused.
"She cuts herself.." I said.
"No, Ry. She stopped. Spencer's been talking to her since the beginning. She's kept him informed on every detail of her life. She asks about you a lot. She wants to know if you're okay and what not. She stopped cutting a while back. Lina got her into therapy session for it. And it helped." He informed me.
"She asks about me?" I asked, surprised.
"Yeah.. I thought---" He said.
"No, no one told me." I said.
"Oh, sorry. It was probably because you were all 'asshole ryan' on us during touring season.
"Oh, sorry about that. I just had a huge stick up my ass." I said lightly, ashamed that I let anger get the best of me.
"It's okay. No harm done." He said.
"So.. How is she?" I asked him.
"Fine. Stressed. Very. Spencer goes to see her from time to time. She's working at some daycare thing..." Brendon said.
"Oh, she always loved being around kids." I said.
"Yeah. I never knew that. I always thought that she hated kids. But then again, when I knew her, we were only 15." He said.
"Yeah, I know. She's told me about you a bit from the past, but I never would have thought that you would have turned out to be one of my best friends." I said.
"Yeah me either." He agreed.
We just talked for the next few hours about Tasha's habits, and how she hadn't changed.
Not one bit.
But one thought still lingered in my mind.
'She asks about you a lot.'
Would that mean that she maybe still loves me?
Would that mean that she would consider giving me another chance? or even letting me talk to her?
I just hope that she does.
Because without her, I'm innocently lost.