Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Saint Lily

Bleed Baby, Bleed

by I_Mean_This 3 reviews


Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Warnings: [!!!] [X] - Published: 2007-08-16 - Updated: 2007-08-16 - 6542 words

“No you don’t, Bert...I don’t even love myself.”
Bert heaved one last time, arms resting weakly on the porcelain lid.
Somewhere in his gut, he felt like he was on fire...a twisting, jagged feeling every time he vomited.
And the memories didn’t help either.
His vision blurred slightly as the acid burned his throat...eyes watering at the discomfort he was feeling.
Or maybe it was the additional pain at the recollection of her her the way her lips felt on his...
“No no no no no, I don’t need this Bert, this is tooooo weird.”
He closed his eyes, trying hard to breathe will his stomach from pushing out it’s contents....from turning itself inside-out...
“You’re nothing but a selfish asshole, fuckin’ ex junkie piece of shit.”
He squeezed his eyes tighter, hands clenched into fists...
Tears started to well up at the corner of his eyes...his knuckles white...
“I am NOT a fucking TROPHY!”
Vomit hit the water as he hunched forward in another convulsion...
He trembled as he gasped for air, spitting extra mucus into the water.
With a shaking hand, he pushed the hair away from his face, his fingers sweeping across his hot, damp forehead.
He swallowed reluctantly, body shrinking slightly as he felt a hand on his back.
“Do you you think you should stop now?”
Quinn’s voice came softly from behind him.
Bert nodded slowly,
“Fuck.. I..” he stumbled over his words, heart struggling to slow down...lungs screaming for air.
He took a breath and stared at the linoleum below him.
All he could manage was a nod.
His eyes came into focus as he saw a hand extended before him.
He took it and was pulled to his feet by a frowning Quinn, who pushed him in the direction of the faucet.
“How’s your pancreas?” Quinn mumbled, staring at Bert with narrowed eyes.
Bert chuckled weakly, spitting out a mouthful of water.
He decided he would ignore Quinn’s comment.
Just like he would ignore the image of Gerard’s face..floating around in his mind...
He pulled open the handicapped bathroom door, stepping out into the club.
The speakers blared...making it difficult to think..and Bert liked that.
He spotted Alyson sitting on the velvet couch, right where he left her.
She had a few boys lingering around her...but they all scattered upon his arrival.
Alyson furrowed her brow as he sat down next to her,
“Baby, are you ok?” she asked, squinting at him with a frown as he reached for a half empty can of soda.
“Yeah. Fuckin’ SUPER!” he exclaimed before draining the can..forcing a smile as Quinn approached in hand.
Suddenly, the speakers started to play a familiar beat.
“Oh my god!” Alyson exclaimed, standing up and raising her arms slightly,
“I love this song!” she cried over the speakers, beginning to sway her hips to the music.
“NO no no, baby.” Bert shook his head, fingers attempting to close themselves around her wrist,
“Sit down.”
Alyson shook her head, wandering just out of his reach, a smile on her face... moving her body to the music.
Did she think this was a game?
Did she think he was kidding?
And then...just as Bert had suspected...the vocals flowed out of the speakers like water...washing over his body in a cold shock wave...
So darling, prick my skin,
knock me
It meant no-thing to you.
It meant nothing to you.
And all of this time
and all of this
All of the blood you sucked oh the mess you made oh the mess you MADDDDDE

Everything was red.
He could see Alyson’s hair flying across her face, hands above her head...he could see Quinn staring at him from the corner of his eye...
He could feel a tinge of pain in his gut...he could hear his ear drums...
His heart beat furiously as he pressed his hands over his was almost as if God was taunting him...
It had been so long since he’d seen her...6 long months of denial and lost feelings..
6 months to build a castle out of cardboard..convince himself that he was OK...that he didn’t REALLY give a fuck...
that he had someone else that was better..smarter...but never prettier..Lily was the prettiest girl he had ever seen...
Bleed baby bleed baby bleed, it meant nothing, it meant nothing cant you seeeee?
As you walk the night, as you walk my streets as you cross the boundaries of broken dreams can you tell me
it mean nothing

Her laugh...her smile.. the way she talked in her sleep...her stupid theories and...the way she smelled....

Bert tore himself from the couch, pushing past anyone in his way and bursting out into the open air....dying to get away from everyone...
Dying to get away from Lily’s voice.

The light of the computer screen illuminated his face.
There he sat, hunched over in front of his laptop, searching YouTube at 1:35 in the morning.
The wireless connection was pretty good here...
He glanced over at the bed....the blue light of the monitor casting a glow over Eliza’s face...which was smashed rather un-elegantly against a down pillow.
He frowned and plugged in his headphones, typing into the search engine two words that he had tried to forget...
He pressed Enter quickly, taking one last guilty glance at Eliza before the screen refreshed...pulling up pages of videos.
Some were made by fans; slideshows and what-not, videos of Will with Evanescence songs in the background...
My Immortal, the gorgous guitar player from Saint Lilly, William Hunter. I have other vids on my profile, check em out. S.L fans commnt plz!!!
Gerard smirked as he scrolled down past videos of Will, clicking to sort the results by date.
Eliza turned in her sleep, causing Gerard to jump slightly, watching her with narrowed eyes until she settled back into the bedsheets.
He pressed the earbuds gently into his ears, turning up the volume before clicking on a video titled
He sat silently, fingers wandering to his lips as he watched Lily sitting there, brown hair complimenting all her features...
He smiled weakly as he noted the freckles on her nose standing out more noticeably than before...
He couldn’t help but miss her blond hair...the way her bangs swept across her dark blue eyes...
“Do you want to tell us what happened that day?”
He was talking about the day they left Warped...
The camera focused on Lily’s face as the word’s slipped slowly out of John’s mouth, like a snake sneaking up on unsuspecting prey.
All reporters were like that...
They waited until just the right moment..then jabbed you with personal questions..with the camera right on you.
His heart twisted as he watched the reaction on her face..the way her eyes shifted to her knees...the camera focusing on the way her hands lay in her lap...her mouth falling open slightly, lower lip trembling gently as she gathered her words.
Gerard knew that look; that awkward, almost vulnerable, look she gave when she was truly hurt about something..but was attempting to cover it up.
She was putting up her shell with every breath she took...every wring of her hands.
And when she finally spoke...his heart seemed to stop with every word..the emotions she was trying to hide couldn’t have been more clear...and it tore at him.
And she spoke so strong and clear.
And he felt pride well up within him..
“Good job Lily.” he whispered as she sat up a bit straighter, swallowing as she finished her explanation.
Will took over, launching into a rant moments later.
He couldn’t help but agree with everything he said..and secretly wanted Eliza to watch Will’s heated defense.
She had been dropping snide comments about Lily every time her songs came on the radio, or they passed a magazine emblazoned with her newly brown locks.
Gerard wasn’t at the point where he could jump to her defense..seeing as he was still slightly heartbroken over their breakup.
And it wasn’t necessarily that they weren’t together anymore that upset was just the fact that he couldn’t even speak to her.
Well, of course he could, really..but not without her cringing...or acting completely reluctant.
At the VMAS, it was almost as if she was shrinking at the sight of him..and couldn’t wait to run screaming in the other direction.
And it was funny how ironic things they were constantly running into each other..creating the most awkward situations...stumbling over words and walking away stiffly, struggling to catch their breath and convince themselves they truly did NOT care.
But..Gerard knew one thing...
as much as he tried to deny it...he knew..
and his band knew...
he DID care.
As much as Eliza tried to woo it out of him...tried to convince him she was over rated..a puppet for Reprise...he DID care.
And that’s what was fucked.
That’s what kept him up at night, pressed him to see her face at 1:35 in the morning...despite Eliza being at his side;
The fact that he DID care..still.
And as he watched her blink on the screen...the feelings welled up inside him...the feelings he had kept bottled up for the past 6 months.
He wanted to reach through the screen and grab her..pull her to him and bury his face in her shoulder...breath her in...
Then, John asked the most awkward of questions,
”Can you shed some light on your friendships with Gerard Way and Bert McCracken?”
“FUCK!” Gerard hissed out-loud, body tensing as Eliza turned over in her sleep.
He quickly pressed the pause button as she sat up slightly, opening her eyes slowly, almost reluctanly in a sleep induced haze.
“Gee?” she asked, running her hand through her hair as she squinted into the darkness,
“What’re you doing?”
He pressed the mute button quickly,
“Nothing ‘Liz...just checking my email, fucking spam.” he explained calmly, voice lowered to suit the otherwise silent night
“Oh ok.” she slurred sleepily, collapsing back into the pillow...resuming her breathing patterns and drifting off to sleep once more.
Gerard paused the video and scrolled back 10 seconds, body tingling...his fingertips shaking as he turned up the volume..
What would she say?
His nerves were screaming...
“Shed some light?” Lily repeated skeptically, taking a breath.
“Yes..if you don’t mind.” John asked rather politely as Lily sighed, brushing her bangs away from her eyes.
Will watched her intently, awaiting her response tensely.
“I do mind.” she said stiffly, lips suddenly stretched a bit tighter....foot swaying back and forth.
“I’m uh..not going to talk about that.” she said firmly,
“And that’s it.”
“ was something MORE than I friendship, I assume?” John pried dangerously.
Gerard could almost picture Lily’s glare...her large blue eyes suddenly cold and unfeeling, staring straight at him with contempt;
The kind of glare she gave Will when he would criticize her newly written songs, but without love.
“You can assume all you want, John.” she said calmly, eyes daggers,
“You’re a’ll make something up.” she finished with a forced smile; the kind she always gave overbearing individuals...especially ones with cameras.
“That’s my Lily.” he mumbled, looking at the other links to interviews and music videos on the side of the screen.
Eliza turned over in bed, opening her eyes once more to frown at him,
“Lily?” she repeated sleepily, brow furrowed.
“Yeah..” Gerard said with a nod, ordering his laptop to shut down with one click,


“Lily?” Will echoed, smiling impishly as he adjusted his cellphone.
“Yes, just Lily.” Matt repeated, almost impatiently.
“I don’t understand why they want JUST me.” Lily thought aloud, phone pressed between her shoulder and her ear as she set a bag of groceries onto the kitchen counter.
“Because,” Ryan began, untangling the cord on his phone,
“You’re the lead singer.”
“And because everyone loves you.” Adam interjected casually with a sigh.
“Everyone ,Adam?” Will laughed, “I wouldn’t say EVERYONE, but uh...she’s pretty popular..”
Ryan snorted on the other line,
“Yeah..PRETTY popular Will.” he began mockingly,
“That’s why I can’t go a day without talking about her SOMEHOW.” he said a bit tensely,
“God, you’re such a douche.” he added with an annoyed sigh.
Will really knew how to push Ryan’s buttons..and without even trying, really.
It was almost like breathing.
“OK OK,” Matt interjected as Will began to speak,
“I KNEW conference calling would be a bad idea with you guys.” he began with a slightly agitated sigh,
“What are we, in HIGHSCHOOL?”
Will made a sound between a hiss and a laugh.
Ryan grunted.
Adam said nothing.
Lily placed a bottle of vanilla creamer into the almost empty refrigerator.
She was used to their even amused her.
Matt took advantage of the silence,
“So..they want Lily, and Lily alone.” he mumbled, the sound of fingers on a keyboard in the background.
“Oh...k...” Lily murmured, hand wandering to her neck,
“But, I don’t even know what I’m doing..what am I singing?”
She asked, brow furrowed and paired with a frown.
“Sing uh..” Will began, before getting cut off by their manager who spoke louder and clearer,
“You’re going to sing a cover..and then you can spin this...wheel or something and sing another song.” Matt began half heartedly,
“It’s supposed to be entertaining..serious yet light-hearted....all the proceeds go to the families and aid..shit like that...”
Lily frowned and nodded.
“Shit like that..” Will mumbled.
“Yes William.” Matt confirmed impatiently before continuing,
“You know, I’m kind of glad you won’t be there..what...with all your wisecracks..” he added smoothly, causing Will to laugh loudly, Ryan hissing profanities under his breath.
“So...hate to cut this short, but I’ve got to go to a meeting.” Matt began, typing furiously in the background,
“Lily, your flight leaves at 7 in the morning on Wednesday..I’ll meet you at the airport and we’ll go from there.”
Lily nodded, staring at her chipping nail polish,
“Oh...k...” she mumbled as Will shouted his goodbyes, much to Ryan and Matt’s protest.
After she had said goodbye she opened the refrigerator once more, staring into the bright white.
She frowned at the lonely bottle of creamer...glancing at the small bag of groceries on the counter.
She took in the lonely apartment, wrapping her arms around herself.
There was nothing about it that was warm, or comforting...she had barely spent any time in it.
It was cold and pictures on the walls...just essential furniture in dull colors, and a tv..a bed in the other room...
In sucked.
She stared at her cellphone on the counter, thinking about the week to come;
she would be singing at a benefit concert for the hurricane....but she’d be alone.
No band members...just her.
Of course, Matt would be with her but..she’d be alone on stage with a house band...
She didn’t even know what song she’d be singing..she didn’t even know what Matt was talking about with the ‘wheel’ thing...
The thought of it made her stomach turn.
She didn’t even know what she was going to wear.
She looked around her...
She had never felt so utterly alone in her whole life.
Maybe it was the new birth control she was taking that was making her feel this moody.
She stared at her cellphone once more...
No missed calls..
No texts.
So this is how it is...
This is how I’ve made myself.


“Just wear the white t-shirt. Jesus Christ!” Matt groaned, texting furiously.
He sat on her bed as Lily stood in the bathroom, pulling a shirt over her head frantically.
“MATT, YOU’RE NOT HELPING AT ALL!!” she hissed, pulling her hair out from underneath her shirt, a look of slight panic on her face.
“Lily,” Matt began with a sigh, resting the cellphone next to his thigh,
“It doesn’t matter what you wear. This isn’t the Oscars.”
“Besides,” he continued, picking up his phone as it beeped,
“Sting is wearing jeans.” he added casually,
“He told me.”
Lily rolled her eyes, pulling down her t shirt,
“I’m sure he did.” she said under her breath, venturing into the hotel bathroom once more.
Matt frowned, tearing his eyes away from his phone for a moment,
“Just..wear THAT..and put on those boots.” he said with a wave of his hand, squinting to read yet another text message.
Lily stared at herself in the mirror;
Jeans and a white-tshirt.
Safe...very safe.
The boots should be fine.
Fuck it.
“Ok, I’ll wear that..” she mumbled, brushing past him to step into her brown boots.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Matt staring at her quietly, his phone no longer in his hands.
She pulled her boots up to her calves, tucking the jeans into them quickly.
Matt’s eyes were still on her...calmly and quietly...
“What?” she breathed, standing up and brushing her hair out of her face,
“I’m going as fast as I can..I can’t really do anything until the makeup lady gets here and-“
“You’re doing ok, Lil.” Matt interrupted softly,
“You’re doing just fine.”
Lily stopped in her tracks..taking a deep breath through her nose, arms folded across her chest.
She nodded slowly, looking up from the carpet and into his eyes,
“Thank you.” she replied quietly.
Matt took up his cellphone once more,
“You’re welcome.”
“OH and” he added, “The makeup lady should be here any minute.”
An hour later Lily was in a sleek black car, on her way to the arena.
She would be singing “One” by U2, along with another song picked at random.
It’d be a karaoke of sorts...
“I’m going to hate it.” she replied stiffly, sitting next to Matt in the back seat.
He nodded as the driver stopped abruptly at a red light,
“Probably..but..there’ll be a screen up with words...and...I don’t really KNOW if YOU have to do it...I’m sure P. Diddy will do it with all his other ..rap friends.” he mumbled casually.
Lily sighed,
“Well, that’s comforting.”
She found it ironic that the one song picked for her by NBC was a song by U2....
the hell
was she supposed to hold her own against BONO?
At 9 that night she took the stage, causing an explosive reaction.
She smiled as she stood there, waiting for the audience to die down.
She hadn’t been on stage in so long..the rush of the crowd..the spotlight..the microphone in her sent chills up her spine.
She had been sitting in her dressing room until that very moment...just thinking about her life..where she had come from...
It was all quite a downer until Matt dragged Sting to visit with her.
He really was a sweet man.
And he was wearing jeans too.
She sang her song, hopped offstage and back into her room...laying back on her couch as she caught her breath.... until she heard something painfully familiar...
Quickly she snatched up her cellphone, shoved it into her pants pocket, and wandered out of her room..walking towards the stage.
She knew it had to be.
She tiptoed past the techs..the roadies..people hustling around in headsets, clipboards in hand...and suddenly,
“Hey girl!!!”
Lily spun around to see a zealous Sean Combs grinning broadly.
“Heyyy.” she smiled, taking a glance at the stage as he wrapped his arms around her.
Damn, he smelled good.
“You KILLED that song!” he exclaimed, adjusting his shades.
“Oh, thank you.” Lily smiled, laughing awkwardly.
What the hell was she supposed to say to P. Diddy without looking like a dumbass?
She made small talk as she stole glances at the stage.
Then..her heart stopped.
She saw him..out of the corner of her eye...
His black hair...his New Jersey swagger floating across the arena as he spoke into the microphone.
She’d know that voice anywhere..
She’d heard it a million times..and it still made her heart stop..and for some made her so unbelievably excited...and she couldn’t explain it.
And it drove her mad that he could do that..make her feel something she couldn’t explain.
She was supposed to hate him.
“Gerard.” she whispered, eyes wide..a small grin fighting its way across her face.
“Gerard?” P. Diddy repeated, confused,
“Ohhhh,” he said with a grin, “That CHEMICAL guy or whatever...”
But Lily didn’t hear anything he said...
She was too busy smiling..
Too busy being mad at herself ...because she couldn’t help but feel like she was floating...
For the first time in months, she didn’t feel alone.
There, on stage,was an old friend.


Lily found Matt backstage, chatting with a particularly busty tech woman.
“HEY, I need to talk to you” she exclaimed in a sing-song voice, grabbing his arm and pulling him off to the side rather forcefully.
“YOU DIDNT TELL ME GERARD WAS GOING TO BE HERE!” she hissed through clenched teeth.
Matt plucked her hand off of his arm,
“If I had, do you really think you would’ve come?” he challenged, pursing his lips in an amused manner.
Lily searched for words, blurting out a,
“Well...No..MAYBE.” she added, holding up her index finger defensively.
Matt laughed,
“You guys are so funny.” he mused,
“You know, Brian called me..Brian Schecter, their manager-“
“I KNOW who BRIAN is.” Lily interjected with a roll of her eyes.
“And” Matt continued, ignoring Lily,
“He said that Gerard knew you were going to be here, and he was ok with it...and he’s actually dating Eliza now, so.”
Lily’s stomach dropped,
“Wait, WHAT?” she asked, heart pumping slowly..forgetting to breathe...
“He’s dating know..” Matt explained,
“The blonde chick with the-“
“I know who Eliza is..” Lily mumbled, staring at her feet.
“Well..anyway..” Matt paused, cutting his thought short,
“My,my,my look distressed now.” he said, stiffling a grin.
“Shutup. I’m fine.” Lily said stiffly.
After all I confided in her..told her I LIKED her hair...
she DATES my EX?!

“And then Sting said that he didn’t eat M&M’s anymore..that he’s trying this RAW diet, and I was like..’RAW, like..RAW MEAT?’ and he said, ‘No, vegetables’ and I felt like a total dumbass and...hey, where are you going?”
Lily turned around,
“Just back to my room..I’ve uh..I’ve got to make a quick phone call..”

”WILL” Lily said gravely,
“You will NEVER guess who’s dating Gerard now...YES.”
Lily sat at her dressing room table, phone pressed to her ear.
“How did you guess?! Oh my god, shutup. She is NOT fat.”
Will seemed less than surprised..and not very sympathetic either.
Before Lily could gossip any further, there was a knock on her door.
“Hold on a sec, Will.” Lily mumbled into the receiver, before yelling,
“Come in!” in an impatient tone.
The last thing wanted to do was talk to Matt, even IF he brought Sting with him.
Her eyes widened, her cellphone hanging loosely from her fingertips,
“Oh shit.” she whispered under her breath,
“H-Hey Gerard.” she managed as he stood there in her doorway...looking..rather good...
She ignored Will’s cries on the other line, closing her phone shut quickly,
“Hey...can I come in?” he asked with a nervous smile.
Lily felt her cheeks growing red...
“Uh...y-yeah..sure.” she blurted, running her hands over her hair quickly as he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him.
He stood there for a second before Lily directed him to the couch, gesturing with a trembling hand that she stuffed quickly between her thighs.
“So uh...what’s...up?” she asked awkwardly...eyes giving away that she was slightly mortified he was here...after all their history.
“Uh...I uh..” Gerard began, staring at the ceiling before shifting his eyes to her,
“I just wanted to say hi. We uh...didn’t really get to..TALK last time we saw each other...” he trailed off, nodding.
Lily followed suit, moving her head up and down slowly,
“Yeahh...I uh...I had to go do things..and you had to present best..whatever it was..” she said carefully,
“But,” she added, “It was..nice to see you again. Sorry you guys didn’t win anything.” she said with a frown.
Gerard shook his head, smiling at the ground,
“’s ok....” he paused before looking up at her with narrowed eyes,
“So...what’s up?” he asked with a small frown.
Lily furrowed her brow,
“Uh..what’s up?” she repeated skeptically,
“Well uh..not much...”
“No,”Gerard interrupted, “I mean, with your..” he gestured to his own black hair.
A laugh escaped Lily’s lips as she ran her fingers through her newly dyed brown hair,
“Nothing’s up..” she said with a shrug,
“I uh..” she sighed, “I just wanted a change....tired of being blonde.”
More like tired of being myself...
“But uh...I like it.” she piped in, staring at the hair between her fingers.
Gerard nodded,
“Naw, it looks good. I was just wondering if you were ok. I saw you on mtv last week and you looked kind of down...”
“Well,” Lily interjected, “I’ve been going through some stuff. You..know that.”
Gerard nodded,
“Yeah..I..heard about that. I’m..I’m sorry.” he finished quietly, staring up at her almost cautiously.
Lily looked up from the brown lock of hair she held between her fingers, catching his eyes,
“Yeah...thanks. It’’s been hard.” she said softly, searching his face for emotions.
Why was he here?
What did he want from her?
What did he expect?
Memories were flying around her a stack of photos blown in a gust of wind...flashing smiles and blurred faces in front of her eyes...sounds of laughter and the beat of a bass...
“Gerard..” she began, staring at her feet,
“Why are you here?” she asked, staring up at him with hardened eyes.
Gerard raised an eyebrow,
“Why am..I here?” he repeated slowly.
“Yeah.” Lily nodded, uncrossing her legs and leaning back slightly,
“Why are you here..” she paused, taking a glance around her, “in my dressing room?”
“I uh..” Gerard stumbled, “I just wanted to say /hi/.”
Lily nodded, lips pursed.
Sure he fucking did.
He wanted to see how high he could make her jump.
He could probably hear her heart beating...her deep breathing..
He wanted to mess with her; make her hurt because she hurt him.
She didn’t need any more pain..she had her family to deal with..and that was MORE than enough.
She didn’t need this..she didn’t need this anymore..
It was ridiculous..stupid...
And he was dating ELIZA...of all people...
Then she remembered Will’s casual tone,
”Who cares,” he had said, eating something as he mumbled into the receiver,
“she’s fat.”
A small laugh escaped her mouth, causing Gerard to sit up straight and lean forward,
“What, Lily?” he asked, almost in a demanding tone,
Lily raised an eyebrow, surprised by his tone,
“Nothing..I just...” another laugh spilled from her mouth,
“It’s nothing. Nevermind.” she said, waving her hand in a dismissive way.
Gerard’s lower lip dropped slightly, a small grin on his face...his eyebrow’s furrowed in the strangest of ways..
Lily’s eyes widened as he began to speak.
She knew that look.
“So what, you’re too big of a rockstar to talk to me now? Is that it?” Gerard asked mockingly, hazel eyes cold.
Lily laughed, sitting up in her seat,
“Excuse me?” she asked, partly out of amusement..partly out of dismay
“You win a fucking VMA and you think you’re hot shit.” he began with eyes, his hair brushing across his forehead,
“ I never thought I’d see the day when you sold out.” Gerard blurted, voice wavering with suppressed anger..slowly leaking its way into his voice.
Lily’s eyes widened, her mouth opened in a gasp as he spoke.
“You did NOT just say that.” she said slowly, index finger raised,
“ I can’t believe you’re calling ME a SELLOUT.” she said, finger to her chest,
“ME. When YOU’RE fucking HOT TOPIC boy.” she defended, pointing at him,
“How does it feel..selling your soul to Abercrombie and Fitch? I would REALLY like to know.”
She said, words emphasized like daggers.
“Oh fuck you, Lily. Like you don’t have a fucking deal with them too!” Gerard interrupted, voice rising.
“No, Fuck you!” she exclaimed, tucking her hair behind her ear before standing up,
“What’s next Gerard...My Chem coffee mugs...wall scrolls...” she spun around to face him, arms outstretched,
“Oh I know..My Chem DOUCHEBAGS with YOUR face on them. I’d buy one.” she reasoned.
“Ohhhhh.” Gerard laughed through gritted teeth, standing up quickly.
Lily’s eyes widened.
“You know what, Lily?” Gerard began, fists clenched at his sides.
“What?” Lily asked, sticking her chin out slightly..trying hard not to show any fear...or surprise at his anger.
“I just wanted to fucking say Hi. That’s ALL I wanted to say.” he said, brow furrowed,
“But you had to talk to me like-“
“Oh shut the FUCK up.” Lily interrupted, causing Gerard’s eyes to widen in outrage,
“BullSHIT you just wanted to ‘say hi’!” Lily mocked, using her fingers as quotation marks.
“You wanted to do what you always do..” she began, “you wanted to come in here, act all sweet and nice and then TEAR me apart!” Lily vented, hands balled into fists.
“Tear you apart?!” Gerard repeated in angered dismay,
“When the FUCK did I EVER do that to you?” he demanded as she turned her back on him, shaking her head.
“Don’t THINK I don’t fucking KNOW about ELIZA.” she said, voice shaking with anger as she spoke.
“Eliza?” Gerard repeated, “So THAT’S why YOU’RE ANGRY?”
“You wanted to come in here and act all fucking SMUG and RUB IT IN MY FACE that you’re dating her. Like I didn’t fucking know!” she cried, mouth trembling with anger.
“Well MAYBE I wouldn’t be DATING HER if YOU hadn’t DUMPED me.” he pointed out, stepping closer to her with each word.
“Well MAYBE I WOULDN’T HAVE DUMPED YOU IF YOU HAD ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I EXISTED!!!” she cried, throwing her hands at her sides.
“WHAT THE FUCK LILY?! I TOLD YOU WHY I ACTED THE WAY I DID!” he cried, causing her to turn away from him and shake her head,
Lily didn’t respond, only kept her back to him, shaking her head,
“HUH?!” he demanded, trying to grab her arm...make him face her.
“DON’T-FUCKING-TOUCH-ME!” she cried, tearing her arm away from him.
“GET OVER YOURSELF!” Gerard yelled, before stomping towards the door.
“FUCK YOU!” she cried as he turned the knob, slamming it behind him.
Lily shook with anger as she heard his footsteps fade.
She clenched her fingers tightly, staring at her fists...trembling as she bit her lower lip, fighting back the tears that were so dangerously close to spilling out of her eyes and ruining her makeup.
“F...Fuck...H..Him..” she stuttered, sniffling.
“F-FUCk..H-Him.” she repeated, a single tear crawling down her cheek, nails digging into her palms, creating small half moons.
Suddenly she gasped as the door pulled open once more.
Before she could react, Gerard had slammed the door behind him, walking towards her with an angry and determined look on his face.
And then..before she could get a word in..before she could move away..he grabbed her..
Pulled her to him...
And kissed her.
And she kissed him back.
And there they were in Lily’s dressing room, lips meeting clumsily...Lily stumbling backwards as Gerard leaned into her, pulling her tight against his body..almost aggressively.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” he breathed between kisses, mouth meeting hers as if his life depended on it.
“Me too.” Lily managed as his mouth covered hers once more, as her heart beat furiously..pressed against his.
And he pressed his lips against hers passionately, forgetting to breathe as his hands ran across her back, down her neck..gently pulling her face closer to his.
There was a hunger in his urgency; a desire that needed to be fulfilled before he burst.
The warmth of her body...the way her skin felt beneath his fingers..
her hand resting at the back of his head..her fingers in his hair; it was almost enough to make him want to explode.
Her mind was swirling...her legs buckling beneath her as he pulled her tighter to him..almost as if he wanted their bodies to meld if she could never be close enough..
She tilted her head back as his lips met her neck....her body arching into his.
His lips trailed hot kisses down her pale, smooth skin..
Skin that hadn’t been touched in so that had ached with memories.
“Lily..” he whispered as his fingers brushed over her chest, snaking his hand up her shirt..pulling it up ever so slowly to reveal her smooth, pale skin...kissing each inch as he pulled her shirt higher...his warm, soft lips finding her breasts..teasing and tantalizing them with his touch....causing Lily to grip the counter next to her.
Before she a moan could escape her lips...he kissed her once more, pressing his hips against hers.
She felt the familiar poking sensation on her thigh...felt Gerard’s ankles knocking into hers as he attempted to spread her legs with his own.
He stumbled to his knees as he attempted to lower her onto the floor, hand behind her head as she fell to the floor with a soft thud.
She could feel the hardness on her thigh...feel Gerard spreading her legs gently with his own...
He ground his pelvis against her....making her toes curl...her fingers dig into his back.
Then she heard the tinkling of metal...the soft rustle of demin...
She heard him kicking off his jeans...leaving them in a pile by his feet.
She felt his finger tips at her zipper..the give of the button....
He pulled off her pants in one movement, tugging them off at her ankles before joining her once more, taking her in a kiss as his hand wandered lower...pulling her panties to the side...and her one last hooded glance, he pulled down his boxers and steadied himself momentarily..
She could feel her body throbbing..
Everything seemed so surreal..was she really about to..?
Gerard let out a broken moan as he slid inside her, resting his head on her collarbone.
She could feel him inside her...feel him filling her up as he pushed deeper.
He filled her entirely as he bit her ear...sucking on her earlobe gently.
He lowered his body to kiss her tenderly....biting her lower lip as he pulled out, thrusting into her once more.
She moaned as he moved slowly...driving her wild with his soft thrusts.
She reached down and pulled him deeper inside her, squeezing her thighs tight around him.
He stared at her momentarily before closing his eyes in a moan, voice cracking,
“Oh feel so good..” he breathed, thrusting harder with each passing moment.
He looked almost angelic...head back..eyes closed...brow furrowed as he ground into her.
There was a look of determination on his if he was willing himself to go slow..
To make it last.
She met his thrusts, pushing her hips upward...pulling him further inside her...grinding her pelvis against his.
She wanted to feel all of him.
He was trembling slightly..his lower lip quivering slightly as he swallowed, going slower and slower with each thrust.
She reached down and pulled him deeper..causing him to moan loudly once more. if she were reading his mind..she met his thrusts...but with more aggression.
As if a lightbulb had gone off, Gerard began ramming into her, breathing heavily as he thrust harder and harder.
He buried his face in her neck as his body stiffened, letting out one small, broken moan before laying on top of her..heart beating furiously..sweat on his brow.
“Oh..GOD.” he whispered into her neck, catching his breath while Lily brushed the damp hair off of his forehead,
“What did I just do?”
Lily laughed, choosing to ignore Gerard’s statement as she rolled him off of her.
“You just had sex with me. In my dressing room.”
She stated, standing up and adjusting her pink underwear,
“And I..can’t believe I just let you do that.” Lily mumbled with a sigh, hands over her eyes..shaking her head in disbelief, a small chuckle escaping her lips.
“Hey, we were..into it and..things just got out of hand..” he reasoned, jeans clutched in his hand.
Lily looked up from her hands, eyes soft and warm.
She gave him a small smile, partially hidden from her fingers.
Gerard grinned, tearing his eyes away from her shyly, focusing instead on the jeans in his hand.
“Did I ever tell beautiful you are?” he asked, turning his back to her and stepping into his jeans.
“No.” Lily grinned, cheeks turning pink, slipping on her pants,
“ can tell your girlfriend.”
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