FicWad

I woke up feeling frazzled. I pulled myself out of bed and glanced out the window, it was still dark out. The clock on the nightstand was blinking the numbers 4:38am at nice and strongly into the dark of the bedroom. I sighed looking at the bed, Zacky was tangled in the mess of the bed sheets sprawled out on his back with his left hand on his chest and his other behind his head. I smiled slightly and pulled one of his sweaters over my head. I knew that if I tried to get back to sleep I probably would only wear myself out more by trying to get back to the land of sleep.

I quietly tromped out of the bedroom and into the hallway of our apartment. The house was completely pitch black with the exception of the few lights blinking from alarm clocks in the kitchen and the fridge light. I shivered stepping into the kitchen and closed the window above the sink. Our cat was playfully rubbing up against me asking for food while I attempted to make some coffee. I finally got the coffee ready to go and walked away over to the kitchen table where my laptop was sitting.

Turning on the laptop, I settled into the kitchen chair and waited for it to load. I figured that I had nothing better to do before the sun rose then to check my email and see if there was anything important besides the usual amount of junk email that I get. The email had loaded right after the computer had turned on and it said that I had 3 new emails which wasn't anything out of the ordinary because I wasn't overly popular when it came to emails anyways. Opening up the inbox, my heart caught in my throat when I read who one of the emails was from. Patrick Stump. A name I hadn't seen in my inbox in over two years, a person who I didn't acknowledge as even a part of my past, a person who at, now 5 o'clock in the morning was the last person I expected to try and get a hold of me, in any way shape or form. With shaky hands, I took a deep breath and opened the email.

Subject: Long time.
This is probaly the last thing you've expected to see in your inbox, and probably from the last person you've ever expected it to be written from.
I don't know what really to say except that I'm glad to see that everything is good in your life, you look good.
Don't worry, I won't tell him, but I think he'll find out on his own, he's an idiot, but not that oblivious.
P.
I took a deep breath and calmed the butterflies in my stomach down. Pressing reply and started to type away.

Subject: Lets keep it that way.
There was never a time when you never did not know what to say.
Tell him if you want, I don't care. Neither of you cared enough to keep in touch with me after I moved, so I don't care that I'm back in your lives temporarily. I've moved on with my life and I think it's about time that you suck it up and move on to. I know this email is coming accross bitter and cyncial but I dont care about that either. You're not a friend to me anymore Patrick, none of you are. Well, maybe Joe because Joe was the only one who kept in touch when I left. You're just friends of the client who I once had a past with. It's in the past, leave it there.

You don't want anymore heartbreak then I do, and I'm completely satisfied with where I am right now.
Leave me alone.
Katie.
After pressing send I realised that this was the hardest email that I ever had to write in my entire life. I wasn't over Pete, I wouldn't ever be over him but I had to bury my feelings and hurt that was completely eating me alive on the inside.

I waited to hear from Patrick after I moved away but I didn't get one phone call, not one email or text message either. I got nothing, I left and I was hung out to dry like I never even was in their lives to begin with. The hurt that came from that tore me apart greater then just the break up with Pete and the only person I could turn to was myself because I wasn't welcome in Zacky's at the time. The only reason I got back into Zacky's life was the fact that I accidently bumped into Syn on the street coincedentaly.

Of course over time Zacky and I got better, we weren't instantly better but we got there. He was the one who would come over when I was feeling bad about realising how messed up everything had got and that all I wanted to do was to run away. He was the one who was there for me through it all, thick & thin.

It took a long time for the guys to accept the fact that Zacky and I wanted to be back together but I can completely agree with their reaction because of the drama that had happened between the two of us but eventually everything was okay. Matt was the worst to get used to the idea of me being around again because I think part of him knew that I had left Zacky once already for Pete and that it could happen again.. but after explaining the situation to Matt he understood that I was no longer a part of that life, nor would I ever be again.