Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Apologies, Glances and Messed Up Chances.

I’m still not sleeping thinking that ‘I have crawled home from worse than this’

by sillyperson 3 reviews

You can't run from things for ever, even if they do seem big and nasty. R and R please

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2007-08-18 - Updated: 2007-08-18 - 1591 words


Brendon’s POV

“What are you doing here?” I asked angrily as Elspeth buried her head in my chest.

His face was motionless as his eyes darted over me and Elspeth; I cold taste the hate in the air.

“Paying my respects…she was my friend.” He said finally while waving about a bouquet of flowers.

“Well…whatever…we’re going.” I said while throwing my cigarette butt on the floor.

I didn’t want to get into an argument with Pete. It was very tempting because if he hadn’t of been such a prick I could have avoided being in this situation, and maybe just maybe me and Elspeth would actually be happy. It was one of the only things I wanted right now.

“Elspeth!” I heard Pete call from behind us as we walked towards my car.

“Pete…don’t waste your breath.” She muttered while letting her pace quicken slightly…I knew she didn’t want to do his not now, maybe not even ever. I had a habit of running away from situations; this became obvious to me when Elspeth was expecting her baby last year. I grabbed her hand and caused her to stop to a halt.

“Brendon…what are you doing?” Elspeth asked while throwing a confused look and let it grit through her teeth.

“Elspeth you can’t run from this…you’ve got to confront it head on…don’t take the chickens way out like I did. Remember when you were having that baby and I took the back door out of it…I regret that…maybe it could have been different. There’s no going back though. So do this…for me.” I said seriously. She studied the expression on my face and slowly rolled her eyes.

“Pete what do you want?” She asked irritably while gently loosening her hand into a comfortable position in mine.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” He paused as bit his bottom lip, “I know that isn’t good enough right now but it is genuine, and the last year we have spent together…as a couple…we can’t let all that knowledge of each other go to waste. And I know…how you feel about Brendon, and I think he’s perfect for you. Better than what I was for you. I hurt you bad, and I know I can’t make up for that but at least let these words in…even though they aren’t unprepared.” He said honestly while letting his eyes swell with tears.

I could tell that he had been doing this for a while, his face looked tired and broken hearted…even though I hated Saffron he was a man in love and I knew how he felt. I felt Elspeth stroke the palm of my hand as she smiled at what he had said.

”Your right Pete, we shouldn’t let that go to waste…and all those memories we had together were great and everything but now I’m going to make new ones…and hopefully this train will run on its rails. And yes Brendon is perfect for me…but I’m not perfect for him.” She let go of my hand and turned to face me. I felt my heart quicken deep in my chest it was like someone had just pulled a dark cloud above my head.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked nervously. She bit her bottom lip and gently tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Brendon…you have got to make a decision and I know I’m not usually all pushy with you because I hate being like this. I am so sick of playing second best to you, so either you want to be with me or you don’t. The accident opened my eyes and whoever I was before I can’t be again…I love you to pieces Brendon, but the real question is do you feel the same back? If your gonna say no I don’t want to hear it cause it will break my heart even more than it is already broken, the balls in your court now.” I felt the words gently pierced my eyes and she stared into my eyes.

Her watery blue eyes left the present of mine and she walked away. She was serious and I could only seem to be pessimistic about what to do. I was a man that didn’t have the greatest way with words and I knew she was doubting everything didn’t blame her either. I had promised to her so many times that we would be together and we had tried so many times but it always seemed to end up going wrong somewhere down the track. I wanted it so bad but with the timing being how it is, I really could live with myself breaking someone else’s heart just to make mine happy. I hate having a conscience.

About a week after Hayley’s funeral

Elspeth’s POV

I gently pressed the doorbell to Jon’s house I could hear a faint murmur of music playing inside the house…maybe they didn’t hear me? I pressed down the doorbell again and continued to wait for a response; I was used to waiting now anyway. I hadn’t seen Brendon since the funeral, I really wish that I hadn’t of told him that I didn’t want him to tell me if it was a ‘no’, I suppose the moment that I let that seep form my lips was the moment I signed up for a wait of a lifetime.

“Hey,” Jon said as he popped his head around the door. “Sorry bout the wait I’m making French toast for Spencer.” He smirked.

I smiled softly at him while gently adjusting my eye patch since it was rubbing against my eyelid again.

“So how have you been?” He asked as he led me into his house. I spaced out for a second I was unsure
whether to tell him what was on my mind.

“Elspeth?” He asked again while, this time, waving his hand in front of my face.

“Oh sorry,” I said while shaking my head out of the trance I had fallen prisoner to, “I’m fine thanks.” I said while inhaling that mouth watering smell of Jon’s French toast.

I sat down on one of the chairs at the breakfast bar and resting my head gently on my hand.

“How have you found adjusting to your new…vision?” Jon asked nervously. I was actually glad he asked me that because to be quite honest know one had yet.

“Erm…its okay I suppose it tends to strain my other eye, which I suppose isn’t so good. But I’m going into the clinic in about three week’s time for some lazar treatment to help my vision. I truly hope it works.” I said while feeling a weight being lifting off my achy breaky back, I hadn’t told anyone about how I was coping with my eye.

There was a little bit of me that didn’t want to tell anyone but no one had in reality asked so there wasn’t a point of worrying about, it was just that little stab of a possibility that made my heart ache.

“Could you take this up to Spencer?” Jon asked while passing me a plate of French toast.

“Okay,” I said simply while eyeing up the delicious looking pieces of bread.

“Don’t think about eating one, he knows how many there are.” Jon called while letting a little laugh creep into his voice.

“You took the words straight from my mind,” I muttered while carefully making my way up the stairs to Spencer’s (temporary) room. I gently knocked on the door and waited patiently for Spencer to let me in.

“Yeah…” He called tiredly.

I carefully opened the door to soon be greeted by Spencer. His pale complexion brightened up slightly as I passed the toast. His ocean blue eyes were surrounded by redness and his eyes were puffy, I just wanted to give him a big hug.

“Thanks,” He said quietly while taking the plate off of me. He stared at the contents and sighed
briefly, “I miss her French toast.”
I didn’t know what to say, I knew he was grieving and all I could do was just sit here.

“How have you been?” Spencer asked while moving the plate onto the side board.

“I’m fine,” I said while sitting down next to him. He sighed and combed his fingers sleekly through his hair. His eyes drew to mine; I could see them starting to swell up as he turned to me.

“You not fine Elspeth…you have lost your eyesight and your boyfriend in one day. I am not fine…I have lost Hayley, my wife…my everything. Trust me you really are not. If you are then mustn’t be human.” He said letting the tears roll gently down his cheeks.

I moved closer to him and pulled him into a hug and we both cried on each others shoulders…like good friends did. We had one thing in common; we’d lost something…even if that wasn’t a good thing.

Thats about it thanks for the reviews and ratings sorry its been a while but with the whole uupdating of ficwad well yer. Thanks for reading.
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