FicWad

Gerard walked slowly through the house listening to his footsteps echo in the empty rooms. The house looked and sounded as empty as he felt. Fuck, what a day this had been, he thought. I really had it in my head that I would just come home and everything would be fine. He walked out the kitchen doors onto the deck. The vinyl cover had blown partly off the grill so he walked over and pulled it back down. Maybe after Monica and I talk things would be good enough between them that he could grill dinner for the family tonight. Kell had said something about having dinner together when he got home. He didn’t want to disappoint her. Suddenly he frowned thinking about Kara. He needed to check on her. He hated that she was hurting and that it was his fault. Maybe she would listen to him if he told her that nothing that had happened on the tour was Bob’s fault. He realized how much he had missed the two girls while away. Looking after them was his responsibility. He didn’t want to fail them like he had their mother.
Taking a seat at the patio table he stared off into the distance. He had another daughter now and the thought scared the shit out of him. Elle was a beautiful, sweet child who Monica adored. He could see it in her eyes every time she interacted with Elle. He wondered how hard it was going to be for them to deal with Liv. What did she hope to gain by bringing Monica into Elle’s life? He shook his head completely bewildered. Liv was always so fucking unpredictable. He hoped that her intentions weren’t bad but knowing her like he did he couldn’t help but worry. Suddenly he felt bone tired. The flight had been too long and he was too tired to think about all of this now. The most important thing was to fix his relationship with Monica. He got up and went back into the house to wait for her. In his mind he kept trying to decide just the right words to explain to her how sorry he was that he had been such a fool.

Monica drove up the house and pulled in the driveway. She had half hoped Gerard would come out to greet her but there was no movement from inside the house. She took a deep breath and opened the door. The house was completely silent. Slowly she walked through the downstairs rooms but found them empty. A quick look at the basement room yielded the same findings. Did Gerard have his mom drop him off her or had he gone on to her house? When she reached the upstairs hall she noticed the master bedroom door was open.
He was stretched out on the bed lying on his side and gently snoring. Monica had noticed earlier how tired her had looked. She moved slowly to the bed and looked at him, he looked so peaceful. Kicking off her shoes she gently laid down on the bed beside him, rolling on her side so she could look into his eyes when they opened. It was so hard not to reach out and touch his cheek. She wanted so badly for him to tell her that he still loved her.

Donna and Kelly were sitting at the kitchen table talking about their lunch with Elle. “I told you she was sweet.” Kelly said smiling.
“She is” Donna readily agreed.
Kelly picked up her can of coke but put it back down without taking a sip. There was something on her mind but she wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Finally she decided to just ask, “What do you think Gerard thought of her?’ It was bothering Kelly that he had seemed sort of detached. He hadn’t even said goodbye to Elle was she and her mom where leaving.
Donna had noticed his attitude too. “I think it was a shock for him to see her like he did. He probably was so focused on talking to your mom and solving their problems that seeing Elle really threw him for a loop. Once he and your mom talk I think it will be easier for him to handle the situation with Elle and her mom.”
“Donna I’ve heard some bad things about Liv but she really can’t be all bad. That day I saw her in the park I could tell she loved Elle very much and Elle is crazy about her. I just wish I could figure out why Liv always seems so sad. Maybe it’s cause Gerard is in love with mom and not her.”
“I’m not sure honey” Donna took a sip of her own Coke. “But it was Liv who left Gerard. He was so devastated when it happened. And then there is the fact that she never told Gerard she was pregnant. Why didn’t she tell him sooner? I just worry about the whole situation.”
Kelly understood, “You’re worried cause Mom loves Elle, aren’t you?”
Donna nodded, “Your mother is so tender hearted. I don’t want her to get hurt. Remember Liv took off once with Elle and no one knew where they had gone. Now she’s having your mom watch Elle and it just seems strange.”
Kelly thought a minute, “Do you think Liv is still in love with Gerard? Do you think she is gonna try to use Elle to get back together with him?”
Donna stood and walked over to the refrigerator. “I’m not sure what to think. Sometimes I’m not sure she ever really loved him.”
“But she had his child. If she hadn’t loved him would she have done that?” Kelly asked innocently.
Donna couldn’t help but think Liv might have had Gerard’s child in hopes of monetary gain. She didn’t want to voice such cynicism to Kelly. She took out a wedge of cheese, grabbed a box of crackers and moved back to the table. “Let’s just hope that she agrees for your mom and Gerard to be part of Elle’s life.”
Kelly looked down at the table wondering why she kept thinking about Liv leaving Gerard when she was pregnant. Had she known she was going to have his baby? If she loved him why did she leave?

Gerard opened his eyes slowly and found himself looking into the face of the woman he loved more than he could ever put into words. “Monica” he said softly.
Monica had lain watching him for almost an hour. When his eyes fluttered open she had held her breath. “Hello Gee” she said softly.
He looked around noting that the sky outside was darkening. “Fuck, how long have I been sleeping?”
“It’s almost five.” She told him. It took every bit of control not to reach out and brush the hair that had fallen in his eyes.
‘I’m sorry, honey. I was waiting for you and thought I’d just lay down for a minute. Why didn’t you wake me?”
“You looked so tired at Jamia and Frank’s. I’m sure the flight wore you out.”
He frowned, “I don’t need sleep. I need to talk to you.” He reached out and stroked her cheek with his finger. “I need to make you understand how sorry I am.”
Monica sighed, “Gee tell me what happened? How could two people who were so happy before you left be like we are now?”
“It happened because I’m an idiot. I cared more about my own feelings than yours. I not only fucked up our relationship but Bob and Kara’s too.”
“Kara is in Chicago” Monica told him with a slight smile.
“Chicago?”
“Kara has done a lot of growing up. She realized how important her relationship with Bob is to her. Suddenly all the things she wanted to do on Spring Break were meaningless to her. Being with Bob and working things out was more important.”
Gerard looked relieved, “Shit, I ‘m glad to hear that. Bob was such a mess. He loves her so much, he was really hurting.”
“Loving someone so much can hurt.” Monica said softly.
Gerard lowered his eyes, “Monica I wasn’t unfaithful to you.” He whispered.
“Did you want to be?” She had to hear his answer.
He looked into her eyes, “No, there is no other woman I want. You are my life and in my heart you are my wife.”
His words touched her soul. She rolled onto her back knowing there were still so many more words that they needed to speak. “Tell me what happened, Gee.”
He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. He would tell her the truth. “I was upset about leaving Mikey and Ray behind. That sounds stupid I know but it’s how I felt. When I ran into Eliza and Katlin it reminded me of the old days and it eased some of the pain. I had always believed Eliza was my friend. Yeah, at one point in my life she was more but not now. I’m such a fucking baby, she dropped back into the role of taking care of me and I let her. She would listen to me and tell me the things I wanted to hear. When I was hanging with her I didn’t think about Mikey and Ray.”
“Or me” Monica added softly.
He shook his head in denial, “That’s not true. You’re always in my thoughts.”
“I just don’t understand, Gee. I get that you were upset and she took your mind off that. But once you knew how I felt you still had her stay.” She couldn’t keep the hurt from her voice.
“I’m a selfish bastard. I wanted to have her around. I needed a friend.” He rubbed his forehead trying to ease some of the tension. “She also had said some things that made me realize how shitty I had treated her in the past. She made me realize that I had used her when I was with Liv. I was such a bastard and I just wanted to make up for being that person. I didn’t want to hurt her anymore so when she said she was my friend I believed.”
Monica thought back to Frank’s call. Frank had told her that Gerard had been hurt by the things he had found out about Eliza. “Gee, why did you finally send her away?”
He took a moment to gather his thoughts. Eliza’s words had hurt him deeply but he didn’t want to keep anything from Monica. “I overheard her and Katlin talking. She was saying how fucking confused and lonely I was. That she liked me that way. Her plan was to get back in my bed. She said that getting rid of you would be much easier than getting rid of Liv.” He paused when his voice trembled. “She told Katlin that she was tired of playing at being my friend.”
Monica heard the hurt in his voice. At that moment she realized that she had been wrong when she had thought she couldn’t hate Eliza more than she already did. Her hatred of the woman took on a whole new level. She had hurt Gerard with her lies and that to Monica was unforgivable. Monica rolled back on her side to face him. “I hate her for hurting you.” She said simply.
Gerard rolled over to face her. She could see the tears in his eyes. “Monica I don’t deserve you. I hurt you by hanging with Eliza. I was too stupid to see what she was doing. All my friends could see and tried to warn me but I wouldn’t listen.”
Monica reached for his hand. “Look, it hurt me that you chose her over me. I understand why you did it, but it still hurt. You would never abandon a friend, especially when you think that they are being ganged up on. You always fight for the underdog. You didn’t want to believe that someone you thought of as a friend would lie to you.”
He squeezed her hand “Monica I love you so fucking much. Can we get over this? Can you forgive me?”
She let go of his hand and for a moment he thought she would move away from him. Instead she reached up and wiped the wetness by his eye. “I already have.” She answered from her heart.
Gerard heard her words but still was afraid to take her in his arms. He just couldn’t’ risk doing anything to destroy the moment. Monica smiled at him. “Gee, this is the part of the story where you take me in your arms and kiss me madly.”
She was in his arms as the final words left her mouth. His lips met hers and all the pent up passion, despair, hope, regret and love were released. His tongue teased her lips until she opened her mouth to him. “I love you,” he whispered breaking away.
“I love you.” She answered. “We still have a lot of things to deal with Gee, but we’ll deal with them… together.”
He hugged her to his chest. “I still don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.” His hand roamed down her side and slowly inched it’s way under her hoodie. Monica’s cell phone caused them both to jump.
Monica laughed, “Well this isn’t exactly out of a romance novel.” She looked at the ID. It was Kelly. She told Gerard. He took the phone from her.
“Hey Kell” He said smiling.
“Gee, how’s it going? Are you and Mom talking things out?”
He laughed, “Yeah, we are. Things are gonna be okay.”
“I’m so happy.” Kelly told him, “I was so worried.”
Gerard looked at Monica. “Kell hold on a minute.” He asked Monica a question then spoke to Kelly again. “Kell why don’t you and my mom come over for dinner? Your mom and I will run to the store and pick up something for the grill.”
Kelly was surprised. “I thought you and Mom would want to be alone?’
Gerard looked over at Monica. “Kell I’m home and I want my family with me. Now tell mom I’ll start dinner in about an hour, okay?’
“Okay I’ll tell Donna.” She replied happily. “I love you.”
“I love you too Kell” he answered before disconnecting. He looked at Monica, “I hope you really don’t mind.”
She placed a quick kiss on his lips, “How could I mind the man that I love wanting his family to be together? Come on we gotta get to the grocery store.”
He grabbed her tightly and whispered, “Tonight, I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed you.”
Monica nuzzled this neck, “And I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed you.”