Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > You'll Go Out In Style
It's been a whole week and everything has seemed to go back to normal. Of course, it could never be the same again, but it was pretty close.
Jeremy and Felicia seemed to be getting closer and closer to each other everyday. I couldn't help but watch and be a little bit jealous. But that's all I did in that bus. Watch the happy couple and drown in my own misery. Josh seemed to have moved on just fine. He met one of the fans at a meet-and-greet and somehow just clicked with her. Surprisingly she wasn't a psycho, and was really sweet and nice. Her name was Hannah. Her eyes were a beautiful blue and her skin was lightly tanned. She explained how she lived in Texas her whole life, and was fresh out of high-school. She just wanted to be on the road for a while, and Josh did the unthinkable. He invited her on tour.
Zac and I dropped our jaws as soon as he told us the news. It was cramped enough with three boys and two girls, and now plus one. Though the numbers may be even, it didn't make it any better.
In the beginning, Hannah and Josh were completely annoying. They seemed to be joined at the hip and it got to me after the fifth time I caught them making out...in MY bunk.
" It's closer to the floor, what if we fall out while-"
" Don't finish that sentence." I told Josh while hitting him with a pillow. They closed the curtain and Hannah's sick giggles reached my ears.
Things didn't seem to bad until that night. The night Josh and Hannah had their first fight.
Apparently, Hannah thought Josh spent too much time with me. We were writing lyrics for goodness sake, and I think I had had enough of Josh Farro for an entire lifetime, but Hannah seemed to think different.
" You're always cooped up in that little room back there. Laughing and...and talking. God knows what you do in there. We hardly ever spend time together anymore!" this was hardly true. Josh and I spent at least thirty minutes a day, if not an hour in that little room. More than most of the time we were with Zac and Jeremy talking about melodies and themes for the songs. Josh tried to explain this to her, but it seemed to only fuel her anger.
" You just admitted it! You said you spend time with Hayley! That more than most of the time you're with the others too! I swear, sometimes I think it's not even worth being in this relationship. I hardly see the world anyway. We just sit in this bus all day long traveling, and once we get somewhere, we don't spend more than a night and before you know it, we're on the road again. I can't handle it Josh. I want out." my eyes blugged slightly. They thought I wasn't listening, that I couldn't hear. Music was blasting, but I didn't have the earphones in my ears. I glanced at Josh. He seemed hurt..not devastated, but hurt.
" You don't mean that. We can work this out." He said it, but there was no real conviction in his voice. It was like he didn't mean it. Like he almost hoped she would leave.
" Guess what? I do. I've had enough of this. I'm out of here." she had apparently thought about this for a while, her suitcase was already packed. She pecked Josh on the cheek, waved to Zac and Jeremy who awkwardly returned the favor, and then she came to me.
" This is all your fault." she mouthed. I rolled my eyes and watched her walk out the door. Zac jumped up and wooped. He ran over to me, lifted me up and spun me in circles. I laughed uncontrolably as he did so. Jeremy had jumped up and run over to Felicia who was taking a nap in one of the bunks. Josh smiled faintly at their reaction and retreated into the back room. After Zac finally let me go, he ran over to his cell phone which was buzzing madly.
I quickly passed Jeremy and Felicia who were having a tickle fight and ran into the room where Josh was. He sat on the stool nailed to the floor and strummed his guitar slowly. He had no real tune to it, but it sounded wonderful.
" Bet you're glad she's gone.." he said not looking at me.
" She wasn't that bad." I said punching his shoulder lightly and sitting down on the one other stool in the corner, his back to me.
" No..she wasn't." he seemed to be staring at the picture we had up in here. It was when we were kids still. Zac was fourteen, I sixteen as well as Josh while Jeremy was nineteen. We had just finished practice and Josh's mom was so proud of us she had to take a picture. He then lowered his head and continued to play that soothing tune.
" What did you see in her?" I asked. I don't even know why I said it. I didn't mean to..it just slipped out. I knocked myself on the forehead. Josh instantly stopped strumming.
" She was...my escape." I raised a brow. He set down the guitar and turned around to face me. " I couldn't stop thinking about you. I had to get you out of me head. Hannah was pretty, and she seemed nice. I just wanted to forget you." I don't know why, but his words hurt. They stung my heart so hard and so fast it was hard to tell what I was feeling exactly. I wasn't even aware that he was standing in front of me now. " But I don't want to forget about you. Hayley.." I looked up into his eyes. " I think we-" Zac burst in not even knocking. Josh jumped away and I turned quickly to look at Zac. He seemed oblivious to anything that may have been happening.
" Hey...uhm..Hayley. Ryan's outside the bus...he said he wanted to talk to you." my eyes widened. I didn't even glance at Josh while leaving the room.
Why did Ryan want to see me? As I passed Jeremy and Felicia, she stuck out her hand. " Hey...why did the bus stop? Are we in Phoenix already?" I shook my head and continued my way to the door.
Before exiting, I checked myself in the mirror. I don't know why, but I didn't want to seem unkempt..messy. Ryan was standing there looking slightly impatient as if he absolutely had to see me. I looked ahead and saw Panic!'s bus a little ahead of ours. Brendon and Spencer were outside leaning against the bus. Jon was no where to be seen; a little further away Powerspace's van along with The Hush Sound were parked. I cleared my throat and exited the bus.
" Ryan.." I started. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the back of the bus. He pushed me gently and roughly against the bus and kissed me. His arms instantly wrapped around my waist, our bodies so close. I had to stand on tip-toe to keep him from bending over to much. That boy was tall.
He pulled away breathing heavily. " I've spent the last week thinking about nothing but you. I don't know what happened that night..well I do, but I want this to be more than what that was." my eyes widened, his shone with a happiness I had never seen. " I want you and me to be official. Hayley..will you be my girlfriend?"
All the while someone stared on. His brown eyes narrowed, his black hair ruffled by the wind.
Jeremy and Felicia seemed to be getting closer and closer to each other everyday. I couldn't help but watch and be a little bit jealous. But that's all I did in that bus. Watch the happy couple and drown in my own misery. Josh seemed to have moved on just fine. He met one of the fans at a meet-and-greet and somehow just clicked with her. Surprisingly she wasn't a psycho, and was really sweet and nice. Her name was Hannah. Her eyes were a beautiful blue and her skin was lightly tanned. She explained how she lived in Texas her whole life, and was fresh out of high-school. She just wanted to be on the road for a while, and Josh did the unthinkable. He invited her on tour.
Zac and I dropped our jaws as soon as he told us the news. It was cramped enough with three boys and two girls, and now plus one. Though the numbers may be even, it didn't make it any better.
In the beginning, Hannah and Josh were completely annoying. They seemed to be joined at the hip and it got to me after the fifth time I caught them making out...in MY bunk.
" It's closer to the floor, what if we fall out while-"
" Don't finish that sentence." I told Josh while hitting him with a pillow. They closed the curtain and Hannah's sick giggles reached my ears.
Things didn't seem to bad until that night. The night Josh and Hannah had their first fight.
Apparently, Hannah thought Josh spent too much time with me. We were writing lyrics for goodness sake, and I think I had had enough of Josh Farro for an entire lifetime, but Hannah seemed to think different.
" You're always cooped up in that little room back there. Laughing and...and talking. God knows what you do in there. We hardly ever spend time together anymore!" this was hardly true. Josh and I spent at least thirty minutes a day, if not an hour in that little room. More than most of the time we were with Zac and Jeremy talking about melodies and themes for the songs. Josh tried to explain this to her, but it seemed to only fuel her anger.
" You just admitted it! You said you spend time with Hayley! That more than most of the time you're with the others too! I swear, sometimes I think it's not even worth being in this relationship. I hardly see the world anyway. We just sit in this bus all day long traveling, and once we get somewhere, we don't spend more than a night and before you know it, we're on the road again. I can't handle it Josh. I want out." my eyes blugged slightly. They thought I wasn't listening, that I couldn't hear. Music was blasting, but I didn't have the earphones in my ears. I glanced at Josh. He seemed hurt..not devastated, but hurt.
" You don't mean that. We can work this out." He said it, but there was no real conviction in his voice. It was like he didn't mean it. Like he almost hoped she would leave.
" Guess what? I do. I've had enough of this. I'm out of here." she had apparently thought about this for a while, her suitcase was already packed. She pecked Josh on the cheek, waved to Zac and Jeremy who awkwardly returned the favor, and then she came to me.
" This is all your fault." she mouthed. I rolled my eyes and watched her walk out the door. Zac jumped up and wooped. He ran over to me, lifted me up and spun me in circles. I laughed uncontrolably as he did so. Jeremy had jumped up and run over to Felicia who was taking a nap in one of the bunks. Josh smiled faintly at their reaction and retreated into the back room. After Zac finally let me go, he ran over to his cell phone which was buzzing madly.
I quickly passed Jeremy and Felicia who were having a tickle fight and ran into the room where Josh was. He sat on the stool nailed to the floor and strummed his guitar slowly. He had no real tune to it, but it sounded wonderful.
" Bet you're glad she's gone.." he said not looking at me.
" She wasn't that bad." I said punching his shoulder lightly and sitting down on the one other stool in the corner, his back to me.
" No..she wasn't." he seemed to be staring at the picture we had up in here. It was when we were kids still. Zac was fourteen, I sixteen as well as Josh while Jeremy was nineteen. We had just finished practice and Josh's mom was so proud of us she had to take a picture. He then lowered his head and continued to play that soothing tune.
" What did you see in her?" I asked. I don't even know why I said it. I didn't mean to..it just slipped out. I knocked myself on the forehead. Josh instantly stopped strumming.
" She was...my escape." I raised a brow. He set down the guitar and turned around to face me. " I couldn't stop thinking about you. I had to get you out of me head. Hannah was pretty, and she seemed nice. I just wanted to forget you." I don't know why, but his words hurt. They stung my heart so hard and so fast it was hard to tell what I was feeling exactly. I wasn't even aware that he was standing in front of me now. " But I don't want to forget about you. Hayley.." I looked up into his eyes. " I think we-" Zac burst in not even knocking. Josh jumped away and I turned quickly to look at Zac. He seemed oblivious to anything that may have been happening.
" Hey...uhm..Hayley. Ryan's outside the bus...he said he wanted to talk to you." my eyes widened. I didn't even glance at Josh while leaving the room.
Why did Ryan want to see me? As I passed Jeremy and Felicia, she stuck out her hand. " Hey...why did the bus stop? Are we in Phoenix already?" I shook my head and continued my way to the door.
Before exiting, I checked myself in the mirror. I don't know why, but I didn't want to seem unkempt..messy. Ryan was standing there looking slightly impatient as if he absolutely had to see me. I looked ahead and saw Panic!'s bus a little ahead of ours. Brendon and Spencer were outside leaning against the bus. Jon was no where to be seen; a little further away Powerspace's van along with The Hush Sound were parked. I cleared my throat and exited the bus.
" Ryan.." I started. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the back of the bus. He pushed me gently and roughly against the bus and kissed me. His arms instantly wrapped around my waist, our bodies so close. I had to stand on tip-toe to keep him from bending over to much. That boy was tall.
He pulled away breathing heavily. " I've spent the last week thinking about nothing but you. I don't know what happened that night..well I do, but I want this to be more than what that was." my eyes widened, his shone with a happiness I had never seen. " I want you and me to be official. Hayley..will you be my girlfriend?"
All the while someone stared on. His brown eyes narrowed, his black hair ruffled by the wind.
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