Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > You'll Go Out In Style
We stood there for a moment before I heard a voice coming from inside the room.
" Joshy! Are you sure everything in the mini-fridge is free?!" I furrowed my brow at Josh and pushed the door opened the rest of the way. There was Felicia bending over the mini-fridge pulling out little bottles of liquor and peanuts. She turned around and dropped everything in her arms. They crashed onto the floor.
" Hayley.." she whispered. I looked at Josh hard.
" We need to talk." I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the bathroom, before I closed the door I turned to Felicia.
" I'll talk to you later." she nodded her head quickly, grabbed her things and left. I slammed the bathroom door behind me and pushed Josh onto the toilet. Tears had already welled in my eyes, this was exactly six months ago.
" What the fuck is the matter with you?!" I began, my throat already scratchy from the yelling that had taken place just mere moments ago with Brendon. " Have you no fucking self control? Do you not care about other people's feelings?! Jeremy is one of your closest and bestest friends!! He doesn't deserve this. He didn't deserve it last time and he doesn't deserve it now!" his jaw was clenching and unclenching.
" You're one to talk. You know all about using people Hayley. Felicia told me everything. All the plans. You're worse than I am." how dare he!
" How dare you! What I did was nothing compared to what you're doing. Do you even love her?" his eyes locked with mine, a burning hate fireing through them. " Do you?!" I yelled. He flinched slightly at my tone.
" I don't know." he finally said. He put his head in his hands.
" Of course you don't know! You didn't know then and silly me, what could possibly make you know now. How long has this been going on anyway?" I remembered the times he would show up late, all the times he seemed out of breath and flushed while Felicia wouldn't be far away looking the same. All the times he came out of the back room, his hair messy, his shirt lopsided. " How long Josh?" maybe it was how dramatically low my voice had gone, how soft and sad it sounded that made him say it.
" Since before you caught us...before you caught us that night. You wanna know when exactly, on your fucking nineteenth birthday." I closed my eyes and backed away. He wasn't lieing. I shook my head. No. This wasn't real. " You were just so...ugh!" he got up quickly and pounded the wall. " I love you Hayley. I love everything about you. You're my sister, my best friend, you're everything I could ever want, no one can change that. But you're never fucking there for me! You're never around. I'm always second best and I didn't want to be that anymore. I wanted to be with someone who loves me, worships me. Fel worships me." I closed my eyes.
" And it doesn't bother you that she's getting married to your best friend?!" he swallowed and looked at the shower curtain as if it had just muttered something obscene to him. " I'm sorry I made you feel that way Josh, but how was I supposed to know. Why didn't you tell me? Never mind, it doesn't matter anymore. Everything is ruined beyond belief. You fuck Felicia all you want, fool around with every girl who throws themselves at you, find yourself another Hannah-"
" None of them matter Hayley, you're the only one-"
" Shut up. Just...shut up. I don't believe you. I don't believe a fucking word about love anymore. I don't even know what that is anymore. I-I...wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." he looked at me hopefully.
" But I can never trust you again." I looked into his eyes giving him all the hate I had for him, all the sadness he ever made me feel. " And don't worry about Jeremy. I'm not the person to tell him, you are." he wanted to say something, there's always something left unsaid, but I couldn't hear it. Not now, I hated him too much.
I found Felicia paceing the halls, as soon as I left the room. She spotted me and our eyes locked. Her mascara was running and she was shaking. I had planned on walking past her, but I knew we had to talk at some point.
" Hayley..I'm so sorry. I-I didn't..I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." She looked pitiful, so fragile and scared looking. What would Jeremy do if he saw her like this? What would she say if he asked?
" Ya, I don't know anything anymore either. I don't know what's the truth...what are lies. I'm even questioning if I can ever trust anyone again.." she looked me deeply in the eyes. " I thought you were my best friend." she started to shake more now, her tears flowing more rapidly.
" Hayley...I'm sorry...I don't know what else to say. I thought I loved Jeremy..I mean, I do love him, but Josh makes me feel so alive. I can't explain it."
" You don't have to. Go take your problems to someone else, cause we're not friends anymore." she shook her head rapidly.
" No-no! I need you right now Hayley. I need someone. You're the only one who can help me...I-I need a friend. You're my best friend..my sister. Since middle school, you can't..please don't let this hurt our friendship." her eyes were wide with fear.
" It's too late for that now isn't it." I continued to walk foward towards the elevators not really sure where I was going. All too suddenly, she jumped on me. I staggered under her weight slightly but didn't fall. We struggled for a moment before she let go of me. I looked at her with pure repulsion.
" What the hell is the matter with you?!" she shook again violently. I was worried, but I couldn't let myself be. She doesn't matter anymore. It was lies, all lies. I started to run to the elevator. She didn't seem to process what I was doing until I had pressed the button, that's when she caught up to me. The doors were closeing fast.
" No please Hayley! Don't do this...I'm pregnant!"
oooh, two chapters in one
day, i'm good. lol
well school starts for
me tomorrow. i just hope
i'll be able to keep doing daily
updates, but if i don't
i'm really sorry, but trust me
i'm not going to abandon
this story. keep reviewing,
it gives me a reason to write. :)
" Joshy! Are you sure everything in the mini-fridge is free?!" I furrowed my brow at Josh and pushed the door opened the rest of the way. There was Felicia bending over the mini-fridge pulling out little bottles of liquor and peanuts. She turned around and dropped everything in her arms. They crashed onto the floor.
" Hayley.." she whispered. I looked at Josh hard.
" We need to talk." I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the bathroom, before I closed the door I turned to Felicia.
" I'll talk to you later." she nodded her head quickly, grabbed her things and left. I slammed the bathroom door behind me and pushed Josh onto the toilet. Tears had already welled in my eyes, this was exactly six months ago.
" What the fuck is the matter with you?!" I began, my throat already scratchy from the yelling that had taken place just mere moments ago with Brendon. " Have you no fucking self control? Do you not care about other people's feelings?! Jeremy is one of your closest and bestest friends!! He doesn't deserve this. He didn't deserve it last time and he doesn't deserve it now!" his jaw was clenching and unclenching.
" You're one to talk. You know all about using people Hayley. Felicia told me everything. All the plans. You're worse than I am." how dare he!
" How dare you! What I did was nothing compared to what you're doing. Do you even love her?" his eyes locked with mine, a burning hate fireing through them. " Do you?!" I yelled. He flinched slightly at my tone.
" I don't know." he finally said. He put his head in his hands.
" Of course you don't know! You didn't know then and silly me, what could possibly make you know now. How long has this been going on anyway?" I remembered the times he would show up late, all the times he seemed out of breath and flushed while Felicia wouldn't be far away looking the same. All the times he came out of the back room, his hair messy, his shirt lopsided. " How long Josh?" maybe it was how dramatically low my voice had gone, how soft and sad it sounded that made him say it.
" Since before you caught us...before you caught us that night. You wanna know when exactly, on your fucking nineteenth birthday." I closed my eyes and backed away. He wasn't lieing. I shook my head. No. This wasn't real. " You were just so...ugh!" he got up quickly and pounded the wall. " I love you Hayley. I love everything about you. You're my sister, my best friend, you're everything I could ever want, no one can change that. But you're never fucking there for me! You're never around. I'm always second best and I didn't want to be that anymore. I wanted to be with someone who loves me, worships me. Fel worships me." I closed my eyes.
" And it doesn't bother you that she's getting married to your best friend?!" he swallowed and looked at the shower curtain as if it had just muttered something obscene to him. " I'm sorry I made you feel that way Josh, but how was I supposed to know. Why didn't you tell me? Never mind, it doesn't matter anymore. Everything is ruined beyond belief. You fuck Felicia all you want, fool around with every girl who throws themselves at you, find yourself another Hannah-"
" None of them matter Hayley, you're the only one-"
" Shut up. Just...shut up. I don't believe you. I don't believe a fucking word about love anymore. I don't even know what that is anymore. I-I...wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." he looked at me hopefully.
" But I can never trust you again." I looked into his eyes giving him all the hate I had for him, all the sadness he ever made me feel. " And don't worry about Jeremy. I'm not the person to tell him, you are." he wanted to say something, there's always something left unsaid, but I couldn't hear it. Not now, I hated him too much.
I found Felicia paceing the halls, as soon as I left the room. She spotted me and our eyes locked. Her mascara was running and she was shaking. I had planned on walking past her, but I knew we had to talk at some point.
" Hayley..I'm so sorry. I-I didn't..I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." She looked pitiful, so fragile and scared looking. What would Jeremy do if he saw her like this? What would she say if he asked?
" Ya, I don't know anything anymore either. I don't know what's the truth...what are lies. I'm even questioning if I can ever trust anyone again.." she looked me deeply in the eyes. " I thought you were my best friend." she started to shake more now, her tears flowing more rapidly.
" Hayley...I'm sorry...I don't know what else to say. I thought I loved Jeremy..I mean, I do love him, but Josh makes me feel so alive. I can't explain it."
" You don't have to. Go take your problems to someone else, cause we're not friends anymore." she shook her head rapidly.
" No-no! I need you right now Hayley. I need someone. You're the only one who can help me...I-I need a friend. You're my best friend..my sister. Since middle school, you can't..please don't let this hurt our friendship." her eyes were wide with fear.
" It's too late for that now isn't it." I continued to walk foward towards the elevators not really sure where I was going. All too suddenly, she jumped on me. I staggered under her weight slightly but didn't fall. We struggled for a moment before she let go of me. I looked at her with pure repulsion.
" What the hell is the matter with you?!" she shook again violently. I was worried, but I couldn't let myself be. She doesn't matter anymore. It was lies, all lies. I started to run to the elevator. She didn't seem to process what I was doing until I had pressed the button, that's when she caught up to me. The doors were closeing fast.
" No please Hayley! Don't do this...I'm pregnant!"
oooh, two chapters in one
day, i'm good. lol
well school starts for
me tomorrow. i just hope
i'll be able to keep doing daily
updates, but if i don't
i'm really sorry, but trust me
i'm not going to abandon
this story. keep reviewing,
it gives me a reason to write. :)
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