Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Secret in Silence
You wear me Out
My head was still spinning, trying to remember each detail. It wasn’t surprising when I reached the bus and saw him occupying himself with any damn thing he could. He was avoiding confrontation as much as I was. He sat with Ray for a good time creating new rifts for songs and then moved on the video games with Bob. From there he went straight into washing dishes. He wasn’t even trying to hide the bluntness that something was bothering him. Mikey had noticed but decided to drop it before even asking when he saw the look on my face. The fact that he ran off after every simple gesture wasn’t the problem. The problem was that my lips were still tingling from where his hovered over mine moments ago. The problem was that for once I couldn’t find the guts to talk to him about it.
By the time I had got my thoughts to settle down we were all sitting around a small fire that Bob had miraculously put together. Of course Frank was off to the far end sitting as far away from me as possible. Sure I was a bit offended but I wasn’t up to deal with this new side of him yet.
Honestly I wonder what fans would think if they knew this side. I think he uses all of his energy and obnoxiousness as a shield. But when it’s just us he’s not afraid to let it down. He’s a lot smarter than we give him credit for. Yet as much as I don’t want to deal with him right now; I don’t want to share this side of him. This was something only we saw. Something that I had to myself.
We all made small talk not really bothering getting deep into conversation. I wasn’t quit sure what Bob and I were talking about. Actually I was pretty amazed when I realized my mouth had a mind of its own. I wasn’t trying to be rude but I can’t remember a thing we talked about. My mind just wasn’t there. He seemed to notice because he gave me a confused look and I realized that he had obviously asked me a question.
“Sorry, what’d you say? I guess I’m a bit more sleep deprived than I thought.” A wave of guilt had passed over me once I saw the look of neglect from not being acknowledged.
“Nah it’s okay. I asked if you were okay though. You seem…I don’t know…distant. You wanna talk?” I did. But I wasn’t about to explain all the things between me and Frankie to Bob (who would surely never let me live it down) the guy who frequently commented us on being the ‘famous ferard’. But the offer was sincere so I caved in without giving too much away.
“I’ve just got some things on my mind that’s all. Certain people, someone specifically but it’s nothing important.” I tried to give him what I thought was a reassuring smile.
It worked.
“Aww so who’s the lucky girl…or is it a boy?” He laughed at his own comment and then settled down as he thought that what he had said offended me and became serious once more. “I was just kidding. Although your sexuality wouldn’t bother me, any of us actually. So if you wanna talk I’m here but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He lifted his left arm and placed it gently on my shoulder. The weight was comforting and the gesture was friendly so the most I could do in return was give him a genuine smile.
…but my sexuality?
“Thanks, seriously. But uhm what did you mean by-?” It definitely wasn’t the best defense, if anything it made it worse.
“Oh nothing, nothing. I just thought you would’ve figured it out by now. Seeing as Frank has been just as quiet and working his ass of power cleaning the whole bus and camp site. I would’ve been surprised if you problems didn’t somehow relate.” Eyebrows raised he smirked at me and stretched out his limbs with a yawn.
“Hey listen I--“
“’Night Gee.” Through the front door before I could even reply. Does everyone really feel the need to walk out on me when questions start to arise. Mikey and Ray followed in unison muttering something about sleep. I shyly looked across from where I was sitting just in time to lock eyes with Frank’s beautifully hazel ones. My stomach fluttered and that unfamiliar feeling crept back inside of me. I could feel my pulse quickening but tried to keep a straight face.
Taking a deep breath in he got up and for a second I thought he was headed off to bed as well. But in an instant I found him sitting next to me. Regret flashed in his eyes when our knees collided and I knew what was coming. I could sense it just radiating off of him.
“G-gerard we n-need to talk.” He was nervous. That was obvious. He was twisting his hands together as they lightly shook. His hands were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were turning a soft shade of white. After everything he’s done he chooses this time to be nervous. The fear in his eyes matched mine as I nodded my head telling him to go on.
“What I did earlier, I was just…I didn’t really-fuck Gerard I’m so sorry. I never meant for that to happen it just did. And I know running off only made it worse but I didn’t know what else to-”
“Frank.”
“But the look on your face you just seemed…oh Gee I had to leave I-“
He was speaking so fast that I found it difficult to comprehend everything he was saying. Within those few seconds I gathered up all my courage and slammed my lips unto his. My objective was to shut him up but as soon as our lips crashed together a fire burned through my veins. The feeling was ecstatic. It seemed to work though because as soon as my lips met his we both relaxed. His arms found their way around my waist as I locked my fingers into his hair pulling him closer. My lips slowly started to work against his and a soft, barely audible moan escaped his lips. His tongue brushed up on my lips gently begging for entrance. And as soon as our tongues met I could taste the symphony bar. He must’ve used it when we were making s’mores earlier. A low rumble sounded in my throat and passed through our lips as a moan. Yet as quickly as it has happened, our actions must have surprised Frank because he roughly pulled out of my grasp and stood up to glare angrily down at me. His eyes were a bright green with anger attacked unto the edges. My insides where more tangled up than before. My lips were on fire and my mind was hazy and blurred.
“Gerard-what the fuck!”
With that he turned his back and stormed into the bus. Leaving me in the dark that now had an eerie silence about it.
My head was still spinning, trying to remember each detail. It wasn’t surprising when I reached the bus and saw him occupying himself with any damn thing he could. He was avoiding confrontation as much as I was. He sat with Ray for a good time creating new rifts for songs and then moved on the video games with Bob. From there he went straight into washing dishes. He wasn’t even trying to hide the bluntness that something was bothering him. Mikey had noticed but decided to drop it before even asking when he saw the look on my face. The fact that he ran off after every simple gesture wasn’t the problem. The problem was that my lips were still tingling from where his hovered over mine moments ago. The problem was that for once I couldn’t find the guts to talk to him about it.
By the time I had got my thoughts to settle down we were all sitting around a small fire that Bob had miraculously put together. Of course Frank was off to the far end sitting as far away from me as possible. Sure I was a bit offended but I wasn’t up to deal with this new side of him yet.
Honestly I wonder what fans would think if they knew this side. I think he uses all of his energy and obnoxiousness as a shield. But when it’s just us he’s not afraid to let it down. He’s a lot smarter than we give him credit for. Yet as much as I don’t want to deal with him right now; I don’t want to share this side of him. This was something only we saw. Something that I had to myself.
We all made small talk not really bothering getting deep into conversation. I wasn’t quit sure what Bob and I were talking about. Actually I was pretty amazed when I realized my mouth had a mind of its own. I wasn’t trying to be rude but I can’t remember a thing we talked about. My mind just wasn’t there. He seemed to notice because he gave me a confused look and I realized that he had obviously asked me a question.
“Sorry, what’d you say? I guess I’m a bit more sleep deprived than I thought.” A wave of guilt had passed over me once I saw the look of neglect from not being acknowledged.
“Nah it’s okay. I asked if you were okay though. You seem…I don’t know…distant. You wanna talk?” I did. But I wasn’t about to explain all the things between me and Frankie to Bob (who would surely never let me live it down) the guy who frequently commented us on being the ‘famous ferard’. But the offer was sincere so I caved in without giving too much away.
“I’ve just got some things on my mind that’s all. Certain people, someone specifically but it’s nothing important.” I tried to give him what I thought was a reassuring smile.
It worked.
“Aww so who’s the lucky girl…or is it a boy?” He laughed at his own comment and then settled down as he thought that what he had said offended me and became serious once more. “I was just kidding. Although your sexuality wouldn’t bother me, any of us actually. So if you wanna talk I’m here but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He lifted his left arm and placed it gently on my shoulder. The weight was comforting and the gesture was friendly so the most I could do in return was give him a genuine smile.
…but my sexuality?
“Thanks, seriously. But uhm what did you mean by-?” It definitely wasn’t the best defense, if anything it made it worse.
“Oh nothing, nothing. I just thought you would’ve figured it out by now. Seeing as Frank has been just as quiet and working his ass of power cleaning the whole bus and camp site. I would’ve been surprised if you problems didn’t somehow relate.” Eyebrows raised he smirked at me and stretched out his limbs with a yawn.
“Hey listen I--“
“’Night Gee.” Through the front door before I could even reply. Does everyone really feel the need to walk out on me when questions start to arise. Mikey and Ray followed in unison muttering something about sleep. I shyly looked across from where I was sitting just in time to lock eyes with Frank’s beautifully hazel ones. My stomach fluttered and that unfamiliar feeling crept back inside of me. I could feel my pulse quickening but tried to keep a straight face.
Taking a deep breath in he got up and for a second I thought he was headed off to bed as well. But in an instant I found him sitting next to me. Regret flashed in his eyes when our knees collided and I knew what was coming. I could sense it just radiating off of him.
“G-gerard we n-need to talk.” He was nervous. That was obvious. He was twisting his hands together as they lightly shook. His hands were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were turning a soft shade of white. After everything he’s done he chooses this time to be nervous. The fear in his eyes matched mine as I nodded my head telling him to go on.
“What I did earlier, I was just…I didn’t really-fuck Gerard I’m so sorry. I never meant for that to happen it just did. And I know running off only made it worse but I didn’t know what else to-”
“Frank.”
“But the look on your face you just seemed…oh Gee I had to leave I-“
He was speaking so fast that I found it difficult to comprehend everything he was saying. Within those few seconds I gathered up all my courage and slammed my lips unto his. My objective was to shut him up but as soon as our lips crashed together a fire burned through my veins. The feeling was ecstatic. It seemed to work though because as soon as my lips met his we both relaxed. His arms found their way around my waist as I locked my fingers into his hair pulling him closer. My lips slowly started to work against his and a soft, barely audible moan escaped his lips. His tongue brushed up on my lips gently begging for entrance. And as soon as our tongues met I could taste the symphony bar. He must’ve used it when we were making s’mores earlier. A low rumble sounded in my throat and passed through our lips as a moan. Yet as quickly as it has happened, our actions must have surprised Frank because he roughly pulled out of my grasp and stood up to glare angrily down at me. His eyes were a bright green with anger attacked unto the edges. My insides where more tangled up than before. My lips were on fire and my mind was hazy and blurred.
“Gerard-what the fuck!”
With that he turned his back and stormed into the bus. Leaving me in the dark that now had an eerie silence about it.
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