Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > You'll Go Out In Style
There was an awkward silence, a terrible and horrible silence. I felt like grabbing it and choking it, but how can you kill silence. Ryan suddenly cleared his throat.
Oh, like that.
I'm glad it was dark outside. Glad that he couldn't see the tears still running freely down my face. I thought for a second about walking away from him when I heard a door slam and Brendon came into view seconds later. For some reason I was scared and inched closer to Ryan. Brendon didn't see us, or he chose to ignore us and he soon disappeared from our sight.
I was so close to Ryan right now. The warmth of his body gave me shivers. Why? I do not know. It was my turn to clear my throat and I moved away from him slowly.
" Ya..uhm..aren't the buses leaving soon.." I said slowly. I finally looked up into his face, and from what little light was given I could see the expression on his face. It wasn't the usual scowl, he seemed relaxed, nervous almost.
" Oh, ya..they are." he cleared his throat again. He wanted to say something. Please say it, I need anything to get my mind off of what just happened. " Will you have sex with me?" my jaw dropped and my bag fell to the floor. I started to cough and I fell to my knees picking up the contents that had fallen out of my bag. Ryan kneeled next to me helping me to pick up my things, our hands brushed against each other and I felt an electric shock. I pulled my hand away quickly and our eyes connected.
" I-I..Ryan you know Brendon and I are together.." but we weren't, it was too recent to say we were over and how was I supposed to answer Ryan. Well, it would've been easy. Slap him across the face and call him a perve, but things seemed a teensy bit complicated right now. Ryan hung his head.
" I know, but it wouldn't be like cheating, what if you asked him?" was Ryan on drugs too? What the hell was wrong with everyone lately. I stood up and backed away from him slowly.
" Ryan, are you okay?" he sucked in a breath and let it go quickly.
" No, I'm not okay. I-I can't take this anymore. I'm tired of watching you and Brendon together, tired of you being so happy when I know I could make you happier. Hayley, this is wrong, it's all wrong. You should be with me." he still hadn't stood up yet, he was still on his knees in front of me, begging. " I just want us to be together, I want us to be happy. I could make you happy Hayley, really happy. Just please, ask him. Tell him anything, anything for you to be with me. Cause I know you want to be with me, I see the looks you give me and it can't be just glances. They have meaning, so much meaning I could explode.." he continued to ramble on, his hands holding mine. I didn't know what to do.
Suddenly he wrapped his arms around me, his head on my stomach. " I love you Hayley Williams. Please lets be together, just one night, that's all I need. I won't ever bother you again, please tell me you love me tonight." I was scared, this was all so scary. I tried to push Ryan off a little but he didn't budge, if anything he held on tighter.
I grabbed his hands and pryed them off me, and his sad and hopeful face morphed back into a scowl. He stood up quickly.
" I love you Hayley. You're going to love me to, you'll learn to, I know you will." he was taking giant strides towards me and I couldn't back away fast enough, I had no where to run. I was against a wall now, trapped. Everyone was in their buses or vans, 200 feet away. His lips crashed onto my neck, his hands roaming about my body. I tried to hit him, punch him but he did nothing. Tears stung at me eyes as I screamed for him to stop. His hands were riding up my shirt. I tried frantically to push them away but he was too strong.
There was a poudning of feet heard and a shout of HEY! Ryan jumped off me and we looked around. Somebody was coming towards us. Ryan picked up my bag and gave it to me.
" This isn't over." he whispered in my ear, licking it before he left. I was grossed out. Completely and totally. I felt violated as well and when the figure reached me I was shaking. I didn't even want to look at them.
" Hayley..are you alright?" it was Zac. Zac had saved me. This thought brought a small smile to my lips and I nodded my head slowly.
" We got kinda worried so I offered to come find you." he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me back to the bus. " Were you and Ryan talking?" he asked curiously. I nodded my head slowly. " Really? About what?" he pressed. I shook my head meaning nothing. " Okay, well I'll-" we had reached the bus and once he opened the door for me I jumped in, ignored Felicia, Jeremy and Josh and climbed into my bunk closing the curtain around me.
I felt so insecure, so scared. But once the bus started to move, a sudden sleepiness washed over me and the last thought I had was the look in Ryans eyes.
Oh, like that.
I'm glad it was dark outside. Glad that he couldn't see the tears still running freely down my face. I thought for a second about walking away from him when I heard a door slam and Brendon came into view seconds later. For some reason I was scared and inched closer to Ryan. Brendon didn't see us, or he chose to ignore us and he soon disappeared from our sight.
I was so close to Ryan right now. The warmth of his body gave me shivers. Why? I do not know. It was my turn to clear my throat and I moved away from him slowly.
" Ya..uhm..aren't the buses leaving soon.." I said slowly. I finally looked up into his face, and from what little light was given I could see the expression on his face. It wasn't the usual scowl, he seemed relaxed, nervous almost.
" Oh, ya..they are." he cleared his throat again. He wanted to say something. Please say it, I need anything to get my mind off of what just happened. " Will you have sex with me?" my jaw dropped and my bag fell to the floor. I started to cough and I fell to my knees picking up the contents that had fallen out of my bag. Ryan kneeled next to me helping me to pick up my things, our hands brushed against each other and I felt an electric shock. I pulled my hand away quickly and our eyes connected.
" I-I..Ryan you know Brendon and I are together.." but we weren't, it was too recent to say we were over and how was I supposed to answer Ryan. Well, it would've been easy. Slap him across the face and call him a perve, but things seemed a teensy bit complicated right now. Ryan hung his head.
" I know, but it wouldn't be like cheating, what if you asked him?" was Ryan on drugs too? What the hell was wrong with everyone lately. I stood up and backed away from him slowly.
" Ryan, are you okay?" he sucked in a breath and let it go quickly.
" No, I'm not okay. I-I can't take this anymore. I'm tired of watching you and Brendon together, tired of you being so happy when I know I could make you happier. Hayley, this is wrong, it's all wrong. You should be with me." he still hadn't stood up yet, he was still on his knees in front of me, begging. " I just want us to be together, I want us to be happy. I could make you happy Hayley, really happy. Just please, ask him. Tell him anything, anything for you to be with me. Cause I know you want to be with me, I see the looks you give me and it can't be just glances. They have meaning, so much meaning I could explode.." he continued to ramble on, his hands holding mine. I didn't know what to do.
Suddenly he wrapped his arms around me, his head on my stomach. " I love you Hayley Williams. Please lets be together, just one night, that's all I need. I won't ever bother you again, please tell me you love me tonight." I was scared, this was all so scary. I tried to push Ryan off a little but he didn't budge, if anything he held on tighter.
I grabbed his hands and pryed them off me, and his sad and hopeful face morphed back into a scowl. He stood up quickly.
" I love you Hayley. You're going to love me to, you'll learn to, I know you will." he was taking giant strides towards me and I couldn't back away fast enough, I had no where to run. I was against a wall now, trapped. Everyone was in their buses or vans, 200 feet away. His lips crashed onto my neck, his hands roaming about my body. I tried to hit him, punch him but he did nothing. Tears stung at me eyes as I screamed for him to stop. His hands were riding up my shirt. I tried frantically to push them away but he was too strong.
There was a poudning of feet heard and a shout of HEY! Ryan jumped off me and we looked around. Somebody was coming towards us. Ryan picked up my bag and gave it to me.
" This isn't over." he whispered in my ear, licking it before he left. I was grossed out. Completely and totally. I felt violated as well and when the figure reached me I was shaking. I didn't even want to look at them.
" Hayley..are you alright?" it was Zac. Zac had saved me. This thought brought a small smile to my lips and I nodded my head slowly.
" We got kinda worried so I offered to come find you." he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me back to the bus. " Were you and Ryan talking?" he asked curiously. I nodded my head slowly. " Really? About what?" he pressed. I shook my head meaning nothing. " Okay, well I'll-" we had reached the bus and once he opened the door for me I jumped in, ignored Felicia, Jeremy and Josh and climbed into my bunk closing the curtain around me.
I felt so insecure, so scared. But once the bus started to move, a sudden sleepiness washed over me and the last thought I had was the look in Ryans eyes.
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