FicWad

“Did you tell Kelly goodnight?” Monica asked Gerard as he walked into the bedroom. He closed the door and crossed over to the bed.
“Yeah. She and I talked a few minutes about Mike before I turned off her lights.”
Monica watched him closely. “Anything wrong?’
“Nope, not really. I think she’s just getting tired of how he’s always in trouble at home and school. They can’t see much of each other cause he’s always grounded. Sad to say but I can kinda relate to the kid. I was the same way when I was his age. From what I’m getting from Kell he’s grounded this time cause he was out drinking and his mom found out.”
Monica nodded, “You don’t think Kelly would drink with him do you?”
He shook his head; “I talked to her about that. She’s smart about shit like that. I’m not saying she hasn’t ever had a drink but I really believe she won’t do anything stupid.”
“Love can sometimes make you do stupid things.” Monica said sadly.
“Yeah, I know. She and I talked about that too.”
Monica smiled at him, “You’re a good dad to her.”
He sighed, “I’m trying. I just don’t wanna preach to her, you know? I want her to feel she can come to me and talk about anything and know that I will listen. I just wanna be there for her.” He pulled back the sheet and sat on the bed. “It was a great party wasn’t it?’
She smiled, “It was prefect. Everyone had a great time.”
He smiled as he crawled under the sheets; “Bob and Kara seemed pretty fucking happy, didn’t they?”
“Yep, and didn’t they get some great gifts?”
He moaned, “Oh I knew you’d do this.”
“Do what?” she asked trying to sound innocent.
“You are so gonna bring up my parents presents”
Monica laughed, “The look on your face when your dad said the underwear tasted like chocolate was priceless.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Fuck, I couldn’t believe it. They seem happier now then I ever remember them being. Think they will remarry?”
Monica shrugged, “I don’t know. If they’re happy why worry about it?”
“I’m not worried about it, I’m just thinking. I know Mikey would like them to remarry.”
“So would you.” Monica said softly.
He closed his eyes, “Yeah, I guess so.” His hands caressed her side. “This is so fucking nice. Holding you in my arms.”
Monica snuggled closer, “Yeah, pretty fucking nice.”
“You mocking me woman?” he teased.
“Maybe” she answered leaning over and kissing his lips.
“I hate to think about leaving again.” He said softly. He noticed Monica remained silent. “Tell me how much you’re gonna miss me?”
She sighed softly. This was something she didn’t want to think about. He would be leaving the day after tomorrow and it was always in the back of her mind. A nagging little voice reminding her about what had happened last time he was gone.
“Monica?”
“I just don’t want to think about it,” she finally said softly.
He looked over at her. The moonlight coming through the windows cast a soft light over her features. She was frowning. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry about what happened last time.”
She moved quickly and sat up. “Gee, let’s not rehash this.”
He was surprised by the sudden anger in her voice. He tried to pull her back down but she shook her head and remained sitting up. “Honey, please. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I promise I won’t fuck up again. No more staying out late. I’ll call you every night as soon as I get back to the hotel.”
Monica hated the emotions that were forcing their way to the surface. She pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged her knees.
“You gotta believe me.” He said softly. Then he realized she was crying. “Oh fuck, Monica. Come here.” He sat up next to her and put his arm around her.
“Gee, I’m trying to forget what happened.” She said brokenly.
In his heart he had known she had forgiven him almost too easily. Now he would have to deal with the pain he had caused her. “I didn’t sleep with her. I didn’t.”
She took a deep breath, “I know that, Gee. But you lied to me. You fucking lied to me. I sat in Jamia’s apartment feeling like my world had ended cause you had chosen her over me. Nothing, not even the physical pain Kyle caused me hurt that bad. I trusted you with my heart. I’m just wish I could forget it ever happened.”
Gerard hated to hear her utter he dead husband’s name. To think he had hurt her like that bastard had was almost too much. “I fucking hate myself for hurting you. If there was anyway to go back and change things I would. But I can’t Monica, I can’t change the past.” He leaned his head on her shoulder, “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry this is between us.” She said sadly. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to forget about it.”
“But you can’t” he said for her.
“I guess it will take time. Please understand that.” She whispered.
“I do understand. I understand more than you think. But Monica, it will be all right. In time you’ll trust me again.” His voice was full of emotion.
She let him pull her back down then cradle her in his arms. “I’ll prove to you how much I love you.” He said then kissed her forehead. “Just go to sleep honey. Don’t think about me leaving. Just think about tomorrow and how we will spend it together.”
Monica knew that was what was important. She didn’t want to waste one moment they had together. She turned her head and kissed his lips tenderly. “Gee, would you do something for me?”
He pushed a stray piece of hair from her eyes, “Anything.”
“Will you take me out to the deck. The rains stopped. I’m not sure about the neighbors but there is a new moon.”
He couldn’t put into words how much love he felt for her. He got out of bed and held out his hand to her. She took it and they laced their fingers together. Silently they went down the back stairs and out on to the deck. He had grabbed a blanket he now threw around her shoulders. “I love you so much.” He whispered. “So very, very much.” Their lips touched and the here and now was more important than anything else.