- Love this piece. First off, it is completely amazing to read an Oro-centric fic that doesn't have Sasuke//Kabuto//some other boy on the floor writhing in lust coated pain at some point. A little Oro-pervy yaoi is great, but the cliche does pall. The sheer originality of Baik made me warm and fuzzy.
Secondly, the writing style is wonderful for the piece. It's Lewis Carrol meets Jabberwoccy/, goes out for a few drinks, winds up inside Salvadore Dali's head, and busts out to meet up with J. J. O'Barr's /The Crow to go on a slight killing spree before the men holding the pretty white jackets with the long sleeves show up. And it's perfect for Oro-pants, going along with the idea of a snake's hypnotizing glance.
Speaking of the glance, and what your writing style does, the best part is that Orochimaru is approached in a totally different way than I've ever read. It fits, the cold master of illusion, and shaper of dreams, devourer of fantasy is spun directly out of the Naruto universe, and yet, it seems everyone else forgot to write him into their story when going for either sick-(mind)fuck-Oro, or underneath-the-underneath-Oro, or the human-within-the-snake-Oro. Me likes this new(?) take, and wish that my writing would reflect it more. Sadly, I'm more of a human-within-the-snake-Oro writer myself. But thank you for opening my eyes, and giving me a literary ball of string to play with, and enjoy.
Author's responseWow. This is such a lovely review. Thanks so much.
Now: as far as I know, my perspective is unique. ...Except that I know one of my reviewers on FFNet tried to put her own spin on it and claim it as her own without my permission, which irritated me. I don't make a habit of reading Orochimaru fics; a friend simply recommended that I try writing a fic about Kabuto or Orochimaru, and Baik is what came out. I enjoyed writing it, and I like it a lot. Sadly, I haven't gotten a lot of feedback on it - I think it's the second person POV. People seem not to like that. Anyway, the entire fic just flowed. Very strange, as you said. I laughed at your metaphors, by the way. I suppose it is rather a creepy, Jabberwocky type thing.
- I've just been reading any Naruto fics that catch my eyes recently (i.e. any that don't have the words "mysterious" "girl" "secretly" or "Uchiha clan" in their summaries). I like Orochimaru, but most of the time on Ficwad, at least, he's pervy-yaoi Oro, and it gets boring. Some fics are good pervy-yaoi Oro (rather like scary-incestrape Bella--yes, I've started reading your other stories, but for some I'll need time to absorb before I can review...), most are gratuitous smut, and some are just plain bad. So you're not missing much by not reading Oro-chan's fandom.
As for response, I personally like Ficwad a lot better than FF.N, I think the community is more friendly, and forgiving of crazy ideas that grab you at three in the morning, and shake you until your teeth rattle. Unfortunately, it's also not as conscientious about reviewing as the FF.N crowd is, so feed back comes in slowly and trickles under the door. Personally, I'm a big fan of the metarating system here, because the pretty boxes marking your stories as insightful, or moving make me happier than a review saying: "ur story rox. UPDATE!"
The second person POV is difficult for some to read, but when it fits, it fits. In this case it's perfect, and I suspect that your lack of feedback comes more from the incredibly wonderful and creepy atmosphere your words spun, rather than the POV. Some stories hit you over the head so hard that you just can't respond in any way that does them justice. Baik is one of these stories.
If you are searching for technicalities in your writing to blame, rather than awestruck fans, I would point the finger at the present tense. A lot of readers don't like reading stories that use present tense. Yet again, however, it fits with /Baik/, pulling the reader in close, and letting them feel the immediacy of the creeping horror that you've brought to our favorite Snake Lord. Technicalities in tense and POV may scare off some, however, I'm pretty sure it's the absolute fucked up creepiness that you've portrayed that is to blame. Most people have difficulty responding to the mood in writing, when it's still twanging cords inside their brains, and slithering under their skin like oil. Marks of a great piece of writing, if you ask me.
Author's responseThis is the third time I've tried to reply to your review - my internet is acting up. Forgive me if I seem a little short.
Firstly, thanks for that little nugget of info. It's nice to think that people don't review because my story stuns and overwhelms them.
I don't really think of Baik as all that creepy and horrific. I have stories I haven't posted here yet that are a lot more horrorshow - I like Ficwad's community, but I dislike how Ficwad eats spacing, grammar, and italics. Very annoying. Example: my Bella fic. It's posted perfectly at HPFandom (where the feedback is just as awful as FFNet, but where there are no restrictions), but I got sick of trying to fix the format just to have my corrections ignored.
Looking forward to what you have to say about Annientamento!
- Ficwad's formating issues... yes... I know it's painful. Things used to be pretty nice here when it came to formating, and then the server crashed in July/August 2007, and, well, everything's still being put back up and figured out and restored. I'm used to writing my stories with the USCB formating code anyway, since I hang around on a couple of sites that don't have instant format recognition, so now I just remember to insert the HTML tags, as well.
But yes, it 'tis a pain in the neck, especially as the stories I posted before July/August are only formatted half way. Very odd and cringy, and it means that I do have to get around to editing them one day, which isn't good when coupled with my laziness.
And Baik is mentally creepy. Like having snakes slither over your exposed brain. The picture drawn by your words is just a little too realistic. Again, it reminds me of Lewis Carrol, The Crow/, and surrealist Gothic horror. Not the spine tingly suspense horror of flicking on a light switch and seeing a Victorian doll raise the bloody knife and look at you with what might pass for an imitation of thoughtful contemplation. /Baik is not bowel wrenching horror. It's hide under your covers with a flashlight so the monsters won't get you horror.
Er, finally, just 'cause I likes a good challenge:
Baik in Indonesian (according to online translators) means good, in a divine, opportune, lucky way. Like it's good to find sugary castles to eat when you have a sweet tooth.
In Malaysian it just means good.
Author's responseHeh. Brilliant. Well, any time my writing evokes emotion is good. I don't mind horrorshow.
Yes! You're the first to get that one on either site. Well...who would you like your one-shot to be about? I'm sure you have some fiendishly wonderful idea.
- Er, well, I'm not certain how your fandom layout is connected. Also, I have a yen for the ignored characters in fandom. And if you're in a procrastinating mood you might not want to do any specific thing that I choose, so a choice!
If you are familiar with FMA: something with the favorite Mad Man Bomber would be appreciated.
If we should stick to the Naruto-ness: No one writes about Kisame as Kisame not Itachi's-evil-side-kick-Kisame (This... might be difficult, I realize. Not much back story has been revealed.)
If HP is still eating some brain cells, then: More Viktor. Competent Krum!
Author's responseI love Naruto, but I really just love what I can do with the characters. I've only read the first seven or eight manga - the show itself annoys the crap outta me, Naruto's voice actor especially. And the fillers. So I don't know how well I'd write Kisame.
FMA: I've written one FMA fic, movie-based. I still need to post that here...Anyway, I'm not quite sure who you mean when you say Mad Man Bomber. I haven't watched it in about a year, and I never did see the last couple of episodes.
It'd probably be best if I wrote Krum. Do you want a continuation of my Krum fic Duister, or do you want me to be random and fresh?
- Mad-man bomber = Kimbley, the Crimson Alchemist. But er, if you do Movie based fics for FMA, um, don't. The movie never happened, as far as I'm concerned. Indeed, last couple of episodes never happened.
I liked the Krum of Duister, dark, battered man that he is, reaching out -- for a drink. But if continuation is a problem (sometimes it is), then I'm happy with whatever comes dancing from your fingers to the keyboard.
Also, since now I know you might be interested in Shino, a Shino fic is just lovely.
So: Yay, more Krum, or yay, more Shino. My world can't get better.
Author's responseRight then! It may be a while, though...sorry. And my fic is based on the supposition that the movie doesn't happen and Ed is stuck on the other side of the Gate. I rather like it, but I've always loved that scenario. Anyway, have a happy New Year's Eve!
- This fic is beautiful. I must admit, I write things from the "Yaoi-Hebi" side of him that is so prevalent, but I have had an Idea like this before. I just never had the talent to write like this.
DeATh_iS_mACAbrE_IS_oRochImaRU ,and the world just keeps spinning to the same beat of that cobra heart. Being of French and indonesian decent, the word Baik drew me in like a moth to a flame. I could not tear my eyes from this story, however macabre and spooky it was is has been will be . It's inspiring in the way all good fiction not just fan-fiction should be. To write a review... to have found a fic like this was purely astounding, astonishing in that it hasn't been done this way before won't be done again with such style
This fic was death-pretty the way a swaying cobra is so death-pretty and macabre in a way that just suits so perfectly the HEbiKamI that Orochimaru our lord and saviour is. This fic was pure poetry written in a style that is so beyondbelief/beyondperception/beyondlife it is so death-pretty that I needed to respond to it immediately. A fiction.. a character depth... so fitting/revealing/perfect that is to amazing to behold...
I could not write a review that matched it's awesome power, but am fortunate to even try.
In Indonesia, I know that drinking the blood of snakes is believed to increase sexual virility.
And In egypt ?Moses'? staff became a snake, showing his divine power.
The tempter, and the power.
The place/person/gODgODgOD where we all draw strength from in our darkest hour
SatAN- gODgOdgOD so death-pretty The most beautiful of all his servants unjustly ( for who could intend harm to Orochimaru that he would deserve, our lord and saviour ) Cast out from- heaven from- grace from- his favour when Kami should have worried about falling from oRochImaRU ( our lord and saviour, our beacon of light ) for he has made himself another heaven in hell/Hell/HELL/ for all his children we who are blessed to be in his favour blessed/blessed/blessed with his etherial beauty oRochImaRU death-pretty so- he is nothing near a clown, but he is just as tricky as one. He is there for no one's amusement, but they whisper that Death is macabre .
The good, the bad, and the oh so death-pretty beautiful in that way that only he can be Our lord and saviour oRochImaRU.
Author's responseO.O Wow. Thank you so much - your review is gorgeous. I adore you. IWCT told me that my style in Baik is a sort of horror/Jabberwocky, and I think you emulated it perfectly in your review. It kind of awes me that you were so inspired as to do that. Baik was written stream-of-conscious and hasn't gotten much feedback, so I really haven't thought much of it (besides growling at readers for evidentally disliking one of my personal favorites). But WOW. You and IWCT have completely convinced me. I absolutely understand what it takes to get carried away by a fic, and as I said before, it AWES me that I managed to do that to someone. Thank you, and all hail the God of Snakes. ^-^
- ~blinks~ oh, wow... I guess I got a little carried away there.... This fic was so
Your words slink into the darkest recesses of my mind and stick because- he is nothing near a clown, but he is just as tricky as one. He is there for no one's amusement, but they whisper that Death is macabre .
- I know that I can't match this fic, but my most frequently updated fic has a chapter dedicated your story, and it is my attempt to sort of pay homage, to baik, because I loved it, so much.
~winces~ please don't be offended by sucky writing skills....
Author's responseI've checked it out and am happy to say it is anything except sucky.
Hey, everyone! Read Lyanvis's fic The Oracle!
Thank you for your review and for giving me credit - it's very flattering. Don't stop writing. If you think it's inferior (which it's not) then writing more is the only way to improve.
- I guess I found it, and now know Lovely's muse. It's beautiful. I have never been fond of Orochimaru, but this is very, very good.
Author's responseOh, yeah. If I knew it was Lyanvis you were talking about, I could have told you that Baik is the fic she creamed over. Which made me very happy, because Baik doesn't get enough love on my other sites. Thanks!
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