FicWad

I’d never been to Chicago before, or anywhere out of England or Melbourne for that matter; so I wandered the streets aimlessly for a while. It was around 10pm before I decided that it was getting cold. It was the start of November, so it was about 41˚F outside, which probably doesn’t sound that cold, but I suffer from Reynard’s Syndrome. I found myself walking down a secluded street, which housed maybe five homes, and I stopped in front of a beautiful, old fashioned tudor-esque house. It had the classic white-washed exterior with the dark brown, almost black wood detail, and the tall, almost thatched looking roof, and to top it all off, a perfectly grown classic English cottage garden, fit with lush grass, roses, and other beautiful blooming flowers. I rested my arms on the brick fence, and perched my chin on top. I spent ages looking at the simplicity and classicness of the house, and it reminded me so much of my original home back in England. I was so off in my own world that I didn’t hear the front door open, and someone walk out. As soon, as I realized that someone had, I spoke up.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll just go now. I didn’t mean to loiter.” I said to the person without looking up. The house I was staring at had me in a sort of trance.
“Don’t go Emmi, you silly girl.” It was Jon. “This is my house. As soon as you told us that you’re of British origin, I knew you’d like it immediately. Come on in.” I maneuvered my way around the fence, and walked up the path very slowly, trying to delay my entry to the house for as long as possible. Jon came down and met me where I stood frozen to the spot, and tugged at my arm until I followed him to the door. As he reached out to turn the handle to let us in, I covered his hand with my own in an attempt to say stop.
“He’s in there, isn’t he?” there, I did it. I voiced the worry that was slowly eating away at me.
“Yeah, he is I’m afraid Emmi. He is also very upset, which I don’t know why, because it’s you it’s happening to, but I would like to find out, as do the others. But please, come in. you look like you’re going to turn into a human Popsicle if you stay out here any longer.” It was true, I was slowly freezing myself. I didn’t want to go in, because that meant I’d have to tell Ryan, not to mention the rest of the band the truth; but on the other hand I wanted to, because it meant I could warm up. I went with the latter of choices. Jon led me into the living room, where the others were sitting and chatting animatedly, but stopped instantly as I set foot inside the room. Figures that they’d side with Ryan, I thought. They’ve known him for longer, and isn’t such a failure and embarrassment.
“Congratulations!” Jon, Brendon and Spencer said in unison, but it was way beyond obvious that only Jon meant it. I was taken aback, because they were at least trying to come off as being nice, but they didn’t know that I could tell anything from the years of being lied to about my past. My gaze flickered over to Ryan, sitting on the couch as far away from me as possible, and he had a sour cum thoroughly sad look on his face. I sat down on the nearest loveseat, and let all the emotions that I felt sweep over me. The tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I didn’t care. Let them see me as an immature cry baby for all I care. No one supports me, so maybe I should just get rid of the damn kid. The tears trickled down my cheeks, and I put my head in my hands, hoping to cover up the crying, although it really didn’t matter if they saw me. None of them cared for the real me, not even Ryan who told me whilst exams were running that he loved me. If he truly loved me, he’d be hugging me and caressing me right now, not staring daggers at me.
“Ryan’s the father.” The words slipped from my mouth before I even realized that I said anything. This made everyone stop in their tracks, and collapse into the nearest chair. But it made Ryan glance up, which was something. I removed my head from my hands, and they saw the tracks the tears made, that they were still making.
“Our Ryan? As in, the head lyricist and guitar player for the band?” Brendon asked me. God, that boy can be so dumb sometimes.
“Yes. George Ryan Ross III was the one, and the only one, who I slept with.” The truth can hurt sometimes, and it was hurting me. It was hurting my heart, which I could feel constricting in my chest. So this is why no one has ever loved me, or cared for me.
“But when? We didn’t even realise you liked him that way. I mean, we all thought you liked Bren.” Spencer said. Ryan was still gazing deeply into my eyes, which were clouded over from the tears.
“well, back when you guys were on myspace and floating around, trying to write more songs to add to “Time to Dance” and “Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks”; I had a huge crush on Brenny, but when I noticed that all the other fangirls liked him, it kind of put me off of him. No offence Bren,” he nodded his head in understanding, “Only last year did I realise that I liked Ryan, on a monstrous scale. It was the biggest crush I ever had, and this one I was determined to either see through, or let it fail within a week or two. But every time I saw his face or heard his voice, it brought back more passion and lust…shit! Did I really just say that stuff?” I was blushing crimson.
“Yeah, you did just admit why you liked Ryan to us. But when did you two hook up?” Brendon asked, getting up and sitting himself next to me.
“The night of the party at Carling Fest. Em wasn’t feeling too good, so I took her back to our little trailer thing, and I let her rest in my bed. Before we actually got there, she collapsed, from what I supposed was exhaustion, so I lay her on the bed, and pulled her into my arms, incase she got up during the night or needed help or something. She woke up about an hour later, and snuggled into my chest, closing her eyes once more. We’d been kissing the night before, so I thought I’d kiss her goodnight without her thinking anything of it.”
“I pulled myself away from him slightly, and started kissing him fully, with each kiss more passion-filled than the last. We got a bit carried away, and ended up left in our underwear. Ryan realized where we were going, and pulled away, asking if I was okay with where we were heading. I lied to him. I told him I was fine with it, when deep down, I truly wasn’t. But I wasn’t going to let the opportunity to actually live on of my fantasies pass by. It was my first time, which also weighed down on my conscience. Just after we were fully stripped, he paused and told me that he didn’t have anything, and I didn’t care. I was delirious with passion, so I let him continue. I ended up sleeping in his arms. The day you guys came to play the show at my university, I took a test, because I had an odd feeling about it. It was positive, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone, because I wasn’t, well still aren’t sure that I want to keep it, and if I told Ryan, I knew he’d either not talk to me again, or try to convince me to keep It.” The tears were really flowing now, as recounting the night was just too much to bear. Ryan stood up, and crouched down in front of me.
“You should have told me. I would have done whatever you wanted me to do. I would have been there for you, no matter what you decided.” He lifted his hand up to my cheek, and caressed it slightly, before cupping it and making me look him in the eyes. He wiped away the tears that had rolled down my cheeks, and outlined my lips with his finger. “But I would like you to consider keeping it.”
“I’ll only consider if you come clean to anyone who asks you, no matter how they may word it, that we are seeing each other, but not tell them that I am pregnant.” He nodded, and I kissed his palm. The other three boys let out a chorus of ‘Aww’, and I felt my cheeks redden, and saw Ryan having the same reaction. Ryan pulled my out of the seat and into a warming, loving embrace. I kissed him lightly on the lips, before resting my head on his shoulder. His hands rested on the small of my back, and I couldn’t help but smile at how easy it was to tell him the truth. After a few seconds, I pulled my head back, and whispered in his ear.
“I’m not feeling to steady.” My grip slackened, and I fell to the floor, my legs having given way to my body, although I was still conscious.
“Oh my god Em are you okay?” Jon asked as Ryan motioned for his help to get me back into the chair. They got me back on it safely.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t have a clue what just happened, but I fell okay.”
“That’s a relief. Don’t scare us like that again.”
“I won’t Jon. I promise.”