Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Lying Is the Most Fun
Brendon's POV
Punching Ryan was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I was madly in love with him, and he took advantage of me. He played around with me, and broke my heart. I didn't want to hurt him, but he really upset me so much! He made me so angry. I just had to.
I walked home, not sure if I should regret it or not. Sure, he deserved it. But I still love him. Even after what he did to me. You can't just fall out of love. I cried my eyes out for hours. And when I finally had the strength to get up to have something to eat, I really didn't feel liked eating. The thought of food made me sick. The thought of anything made me sick. And I miss Ry so much. I miss what we had.
Wait. He didn't mean any of it! He didn't mean it when he said he loved me as I made love to him gently, not wanting to put him through any pain.
I wish I had though. Now I wish I didn't care to stretch him. Or to lube up.
No, those thoughts are terrible. I shouldn't think like that? I dont't know. I'm too broken at the moment. My heart feels as if it's been split in too. I really hate it.
After nibbling on a few crackers (vegan ones of course), I made my way to the bathroom, and turned the hot water on. After stripping down, I let the hot water run down my chest. It felt beautful, until I remember the time when Ryan and I sucked each other off in the shower. It was at that point when I broke down. Tears spilled down my face, mixing with the water. I cried. And cried. And cried again. Sobbing, I searched through the cupboard. After blindly throwing stuff about, I found what I was looking for. A razor. I held the sharp edge against my flesh, and pressed it against the skin, piercing it. I sobbed, thinking again of my broken heart. Of Ryan. Of the friendship and love that I'd lost. And of the problems that this would cause for our band.
Punching Ryan was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I was madly in love with him, and he took advantage of me. He played around with me, and broke my heart. I didn't want to hurt him, but he really upset me so much! He made me so angry. I just had to.
I walked home, not sure if I should regret it or not. Sure, he deserved it. But I still love him. Even after what he did to me. You can't just fall out of love. I cried my eyes out for hours. And when I finally had the strength to get up to have something to eat, I really didn't feel liked eating. The thought of food made me sick. The thought of anything made me sick. And I miss Ry so much. I miss what we had.
Wait. He didn't mean any of it! He didn't mean it when he said he loved me as I made love to him gently, not wanting to put him through any pain.
I wish I had though. Now I wish I didn't care to stretch him. Or to lube up.
No, those thoughts are terrible. I shouldn't think like that? I dont't know. I'm too broken at the moment. My heart feels as if it's been split in too. I really hate it.
After nibbling on a few crackers (vegan ones of course), I made my way to the bathroom, and turned the hot water on. After stripping down, I let the hot water run down my chest. It felt beautful, until I remember the time when Ryan and I sucked each other off in the shower. It was at that point when I broke down. Tears spilled down my face, mixing with the water. I cried. And cried. And cried again. Sobbing, I searched through the cupboard. After blindly throwing stuff about, I found what I was looking for. A razor. I held the sharp edge against my flesh, and pressed it against the skin, piercing it. I sobbed, thinking again of my broken heart. Of Ryan. Of the friendship and love that I'd lost. And of the problems that this would cause for our band.
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