Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > You'll be a lover in my bed and a gun to my head
I'm gonna love again, you gotta break me in, I'm holding out too long, you hear it in my songs, you gotta break me in
3 reviewsYOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. ::hint hint::
0Unrated
Brendon’s POV
…No that’s not right…
Kate, I just don’t think this is...No that’s not right either…
Kate, I need to talk to you about us. See I don’t know if…no that’s not right either…
Kate, I…
“ARGH!” I slammed my fists down on the table in front of me and cradled my face in my hands.
“Hey man, what’s up?” Jon asked as he sat down across the table from me.
I flopped down my hands and pouted at him.
“I need to break up with Kate, but I don’t know how…”
“Well I don’t know if I can help you with that one. It’s definitely a tough situation. How long have you guys been together?”
“Too long.”
“Look Bren, the only thing I can really suggest is to just tell her the truth. It’d better sooner than later, the longer you hold off, the more you’re going to hurt her.”
“I know,” I sighed, “I just don’t want to hurt her. She’s a good person; I just don’t love her that way anymore.”
“You love Ryan,” he guessed.
I looked up at him wide eyed. “Is it that obvious?”
“Well, I always knew you loved him, but lately Spence and I have been seeing those longing glances you guys have been exchanging. Why do you think we’ve been keeping ourselves scarce?”
Then it dawned on me. They really haven’t been around much, or at all, lately.
“But you really should stop cheating on your girlfriend and just break up with her before you hurt her anymore.” Jon looked at me sternly.
I sent him a grim half-smile.
“But really,” he said reaching across the table and patting my shoulder, “I’m really happy for you two. It’s been a long time coming.” He smiled.
I was about to thank him when we heard, “What’s been a long time coming?” from behind us.
Kate yawned stretching and coming over to me, kissing my head. Jon gave me a knowing look.
“Uh, nothing,” I dismissed, and then I looked up at her and met her eyes.
“Um, yeah, I’m just gonna chill in my bunk. Maybe go see what Ry and Spence are up to,” Jon said getting up and walking away.
“Kate, we need to talk,” I said breaking our eye contact.
“Ok, babe. What’s up?” she asked sitting across the table from me and taking my hand in hers, entwining our fingers.
I watched she played with our fingers for a while, patiently waiting for me to start, in no rush. Slowly, I slipped my hand out of hers and entwined my own fingers in front of me.
I looked down at them as I spoke. “Do you know what city we’ll be arriving at next?” I spoke quietly, but definitely.
“Uh, no.” She let out a small nervous laugh, a confused look fixed on her face.
I paused for a second to make sure I actually wanted to do this, then Ryan’s beautiful face came into my mind and I knew I had to. “Nashville,” I muttered.
“Oh! My parents live there!” She smiled.
I brought my eyes up to meet her. “I know” I paused for a breath, “and I want you to get off and go stay with them until you can get home,” I finished quietly.
“What?” she asked after a minute obviously not comprehending.
“I want you to get off the bus and go stay with your parents when we arrive in the city.”
“Why?
I didn’t reply, just looked down at my hands.
“Are- are you breaking up with me?” she asked quietly, disbelievingly.
I stayed silent.
“Brendon, answer me.” Her voice cracked just before she finished.
I nodded silently.
She sat still for a while and I could feel her eyes boring into me, but I couldn’t find the courage to meet them. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this, but it’s the easiest way to do it without hurting her too much. Making excuses would only make things worse.
She eventually got up and walked back toward the bunk area, I’m assuming to pack up her stuff.
I was still sitting at the table when Ryan walked in.
“Bren?” I didn’t respond. I couldn’t.
“Oh my god, Bren. What’s wrong?” He came over to me and took me in his strong arms. Only then did I realize that I was crying, the silent tears slowly marking his shirt.
I held me for who knows how long, quietly whispering things in my ear, trying his best to calm me down.
Finally I calmed enough to get words out of my mouth. “She doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, Ry. I shouldn’t have put us all in this situation, she doesn’t deserve it.”
“Bren, you’re not making any sense. What happened?” Ryan asked trying to make sense of my ramblings.
“I broke up with Kate. I finally broke up with Kate and I feel like shit for hurting her that badly. She’s a good person, and doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.” I started sobbing again.
He silently wiped away the tears, just holding me to his chest.
After what I thought was days, but the clock said was only two hours, the bus stopped. Kate immerged from the back of the bus with eyes that looked similar to mine, red and puffy. She barely even glanced my way as she said good bye to Spencer, Jon and Ryan, who she had actually become friendly with since the talk, stepped out of the bus and out of my life.
We had a show that night and the issue was I was still very bent out of shape. Its not that my heart was broken or anything, it’s just that I felt so unbelievably guilty. I had led her on and that’s the worst thing you can possibly do to a person.
I spent the rest of the free time we had before the show lying with Ryan in what was soon to be our bunk. We just needed to tell Jon and Spencer about us officially.
He comforted me as much as he could, but finally we had to go and get ready so after we were finished with dressing and make up, I put on a happy face and took all my anger at myself out on the music. I do have to say that this performance turned out to be one of the better ones just because of the passion I put behind it.
Post performance, Ryan and I were sitting in the dressing room. We had pretty much stayed silent since the end of the show, except for congrats and such. He was the one that broke the silence first.
“Ok, before I start this, I just want to ask you not to cry anymore. It breaks my heart to see you cry.”
“I’ll try. Depends on what we’re talking about.”
“That’s reasonable.” He paused. “Now that you’re broken up with Kate...I was wondering if this means that…” He faded off at the end.
I looked up at him, my eyes brimming with moisture. This time it wasn’t from the guilt. This was a wholly different feeling. “Does it mean what?”
“Does this mean that we can finally be together?” He wasn’t looking at me. He was across the room, playing with the hem of his shirt.
I smiled, a tear finally falling down my cheek. I loved that, ‘together’.
“Yes,” I said grinning like an idiot and feeling a lot like Jane when she gets proposed to by Mr. bingley in Pride and prejudice. “A thousand times yes,” I said as he got up and moved towards me.
I met him half way and we stood there together, kissing. It was an innocent kiss, nothing raunchy. Just love. Finally we broke apart and leaned our foreheads together.
“You know I love that movie,” he whispered.
“I know and I love you,” I said and I met his eyes.
“I love you too,” he said grinning, and then kissing me again. He took my hand and next thing I knew, we were out the door to go find Jon and Spencer to tell them the great news.
…No that’s not right…
Kate, I just don’t think this is...No that’s not right either…
Kate, I need to talk to you about us. See I don’t know if…no that’s not right either…
Kate, I…
“ARGH!” I slammed my fists down on the table in front of me and cradled my face in my hands.
“Hey man, what’s up?” Jon asked as he sat down across the table from me.
I flopped down my hands and pouted at him.
“I need to break up with Kate, but I don’t know how…”
“Well I don’t know if I can help you with that one. It’s definitely a tough situation. How long have you guys been together?”
“Too long.”
“Look Bren, the only thing I can really suggest is to just tell her the truth. It’d better sooner than later, the longer you hold off, the more you’re going to hurt her.”
“I know,” I sighed, “I just don’t want to hurt her. She’s a good person; I just don’t love her that way anymore.”
“You love Ryan,” he guessed.
I looked up at him wide eyed. “Is it that obvious?”
“Well, I always knew you loved him, but lately Spence and I have been seeing those longing glances you guys have been exchanging. Why do you think we’ve been keeping ourselves scarce?”
Then it dawned on me. They really haven’t been around much, or at all, lately.
“But you really should stop cheating on your girlfriend and just break up with her before you hurt her anymore.” Jon looked at me sternly.
I sent him a grim half-smile.
“But really,” he said reaching across the table and patting my shoulder, “I’m really happy for you two. It’s been a long time coming.” He smiled.
I was about to thank him when we heard, “What’s been a long time coming?” from behind us.
Kate yawned stretching and coming over to me, kissing my head. Jon gave me a knowing look.
“Uh, nothing,” I dismissed, and then I looked up at her and met her eyes.
“Um, yeah, I’m just gonna chill in my bunk. Maybe go see what Ry and Spence are up to,” Jon said getting up and walking away.
“Kate, we need to talk,” I said breaking our eye contact.
“Ok, babe. What’s up?” she asked sitting across the table from me and taking my hand in hers, entwining our fingers.
I watched she played with our fingers for a while, patiently waiting for me to start, in no rush. Slowly, I slipped my hand out of hers and entwined my own fingers in front of me.
I looked down at them as I spoke. “Do you know what city we’ll be arriving at next?” I spoke quietly, but definitely.
“Uh, no.” She let out a small nervous laugh, a confused look fixed on her face.
I paused for a second to make sure I actually wanted to do this, then Ryan’s beautiful face came into my mind and I knew I had to. “Nashville,” I muttered.
“Oh! My parents live there!” She smiled.
I brought my eyes up to meet her. “I know” I paused for a breath, “and I want you to get off and go stay with them until you can get home,” I finished quietly.
“What?” she asked after a minute obviously not comprehending.
“I want you to get off the bus and go stay with your parents when we arrive in the city.”
“Why?
I didn’t reply, just looked down at my hands.
“Are- are you breaking up with me?” she asked quietly, disbelievingly.
I stayed silent.
“Brendon, answer me.” Her voice cracked just before she finished.
I nodded silently.
She sat still for a while and I could feel her eyes boring into me, but I couldn’t find the courage to meet them. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this, but it’s the easiest way to do it without hurting her too much. Making excuses would only make things worse.
She eventually got up and walked back toward the bunk area, I’m assuming to pack up her stuff.
I was still sitting at the table when Ryan walked in.
“Bren?” I didn’t respond. I couldn’t.
“Oh my god, Bren. What’s wrong?” He came over to me and took me in his strong arms. Only then did I realize that I was crying, the silent tears slowly marking his shirt.
I held me for who knows how long, quietly whispering things in my ear, trying his best to calm me down.
Finally I calmed enough to get words out of my mouth. “She doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, Ry. I shouldn’t have put us all in this situation, she doesn’t deserve it.”
“Bren, you’re not making any sense. What happened?” Ryan asked trying to make sense of my ramblings.
“I broke up with Kate. I finally broke up with Kate and I feel like shit for hurting her that badly. She’s a good person, and doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.” I started sobbing again.
He silently wiped away the tears, just holding me to his chest.
After what I thought was days, but the clock said was only two hours, the bus stopped. Kate immerged from the back of the bus with eyes that looked similar to mine, red and puffy. She barely even glanced my way as she said good bye to Spencer, Jon and Ryan, who she had actually become friendly with since the talk, stepped out of the bus and out of my life.
We had a show that night and the issue was I was still very bent out of shape. Its not that my heart was broken or anything, it’s just that I felt so unbelievably guilty. I had led her on and that’s the worst thing you can possibly do to a person.
I spent the rest of the free time we had before the show lying with Ryan in what was soon to be our bunk. We just needed to tell Jon and Spencer about us officially.
He comforted me as much as he could, but finally we had to go and get ready so after we were finished with dressing and make up, I put on a happy face and took all my anger at myself out on the music. I do have to say that this performance turned out to be one of the better ones just because of the passion I put behind it.
Post performance, Ryan and I were sitting in the dressing room. We had pretty much stayed silent since the end of the show, except for congrats and such. He was the one that broke the silence first.
“Ok, before I start this, I just want to ask you not to cry anymore. It breaks my heart to see you cry.”
“I’ll try. Depends on what we’re talking about.”
“That’s reasonable.” He paused. “Now that you’re broken up with Kate...I was wondering if this means that…” He faded off at the end.
I looked up at him, my eyes brimming with moisture. This time it wasn’t from the guilt. This was a wholly different feeling. “Does it mean what?”
“Does this mean that we can finally be together?” He wasn’t looking at me. He was across the room, playing with the hem of his shirt.
I smiled, a tear finally falling down my cheek. I loved that, ‘together’.
“Yes,” I said grinning like an idiot and feeling a lot like Jane when she gets proposed to by Mr. bingley in Pride and prejudice. “A thousand times yes,” I said as he got up and moved towards me.
I met him half way and we stood there together, kissing. It was an innocent kiss, nothing raunchy. Just love. Finally we broke apart and leaned our foreheads together.
“You know I love that movie,” he whispered.
“I know and I love you,” I said and I met his eyes.
“I love you too,” he said grinning, and then kissing me again. He took my hand and next thing I knew, we were out the door to go find Jon and Spencer to tell them the great news.
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