A/N: I own none of this. Honest. Nope, not me. Also none of the other characters who appear. Everything and everyone belongs to someone else. Thus is the story of my life.
Harry Potter and the Trademark Dispute.
Chapter 8 - What are Little Girls Made Of?
"Come in Harry."
He entered the room of requirements and looked around for her. A roaring fire in the hearth, a plush leather sofa, and reclining on it, was Hermione. Hermione. His mind went off line for a moment.
He regained cerebral function after a few moments and rushed to her scooping her up in his arms.
Hermione. In a Zantanna costume. Wow.
"Best! Girlfriend! Ever!"
She giggled and waved her wand. The body suit disappeared, leaving the fishnets and the hat, She reached up to doff the hat, he stopped her.
"The Hat Stays!" he growled.
She kept giggling... Until she started screaming.
Thank Merlin for Silencing charms.
Harry cruised quietly on his broom far above the Quidditch pitch. With the craziness that had taken over his life recently, he just had to get out and just fly. Hermione tried to help him relax, (she was after all the best girlfriend ever) but sometimes a bloke just needs to get out and fly.
On the plus side, Tom hadn't been bothering him since Hermione brought him to the attention of the Guild, and classes this year were a hoot. Someone decided that all 7th years had to become intimately knowledgeable with the family trees of not just their own, but their class mates families as well. Malfoy's looked like a knotted rope. No one in the Malfoy clan had married anyone who wasn't at least a 2ndcousin for more than 800 years (Pansy was heartbroken, and for some reason decided that Ron would be the next best choice), which allowed Harry to abuse the hell out of the Amazing Bouncing Ferret, since his return from what everyone was calling his "Retarded Spider Monkey Sabbatical' by offering to explain the big words in class. He was pleased when his own family tree showed that the Potter's regularly married into half blood and Muggle families, still it were a bit weird to realize that he was related however tenuously to all of the purebloods...
Snape wasn't as lucky. When he was returning from his "Greasy Bat Sabbatical" he had accidentally fluttered into aMuggle badminton game. He spent the majority of his time huddled in a corner in the fetal position sucking his thumb whimpering. It was so sad that Harry had laughed himself into incoherence.
Harry pulled into a hover to watch Ron do a couple of loops. Ron may have the IQ of a canoli, but he sure could fly. Hopefully he didn't get distracted by the 'pretty clouds' again.
"Excuse me." Said a very young hesitant little girl voice behind him, "Are you Harry Potter?"
He turned and almost fell off his broom. There hovering, riding absolutely nothing, was a small little girl. She had no hands or feet, her legs and arms ended in gently rounded nubs. Her head was completely out of proportion with her body, with large blue eyes that would make Dobby look positively squinty, her hair was blonde and tied into twin pig tails. She wore a pink little girl dress with a black belt.
He swallowed. "uh, Yes, I'm Harry Potter."
"Wow. All that without taking abreath. What's your name then?"
"Ok Bubbles. What are you?"
"I'm a Powerpuff Girl." She giggled.
"No, I mean WHAT are you. I'm human and a wizard. What are you?"
"Oh, I'm a perfect little girl. Professor Neutronium made us with Sugar and Spice and everything Nice." She hovered alittle closer and whispered "Plus a little Chemical X that's what made us Super!"
"Ok Bubbles, lets continue our talk on the ground, ok?"
Harry landed and Bubbles zoomed down to ground level, when she flew she left a blue trail in the air. Weird.
Hermione ran up to him with her wand drawn, Harry gestured for her to lower the wand. "Bubbles, this is Hermione, my Girlfriend."
"Ooh, you have a girlfriend?"
"Yes I do. Hermione, this is Bubbles, she's a perfect little girl."
"Nice to meet you Bubbles."
Two more of the tiny flying creatures rushed up to them. The red headed one spoke with a bossy voice that Harry found oddly familiar.
"You found Harry Potter and didn't call us and tell us Bubbles? Didn't I tell you to tell us if you found him? Didn't I?"
"Yes Blossom. I'm sorry."
"In all fairness to Bubbles, who Iwould make my girlfriend if I wasn't dating Hermione, only just introduced her self and told me about her two beautiful sisters. She didn't have time to call you yet."
Blossom blushed, but Buttercup, the little dark haired Powerpuff in Green took hold of the collar of his robes and lifted him bodily off the ground.
"Who you callin' Beautiful bub?"
"Uh, you?" he leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. The dark haired perfect little girl was shocked for a moment, then lowered him to the ground, then zoomed behind her sisters blushing and giggling.
"Nice save Potter."
"Thanks Hermione." He sat on the ground so as to be eye level with the girls.
"So Ladies, " more giggling. "What can I do for you?"
"Mr. Potter." Blossom started.
"Please Blossom, I'm just Harry. Ihate it when pretty girls call me Mr. Potter."
"Harry," she began again, giggling."We have been asked by the League of Heroes to ask you again to join. It was suggested that perhaps the representatives who have seen you so far are not the best that the League has to offer. Mr. Tick is a little silly, and Miss Zantanna kinda looks like a nasty lady. So everyone thought that we would be better representatives."
"Blossom, I'm afraid that there has been some kind of mistake. I'm not a hero, I'm a school kid. I'm not super strong, I can't fly without my broom, I'm not real fast. And frankly there's amean nasty man who is trying to hurt me and my friends. So I can't join the league or be a hero."
"A mean man?"
"Yes Bubbles, a very mean man. His name is Lord Voldemort. He killed my Mom and Dad when I was little, and he's been hurting me ever since."
"Why don't we go kick Moldimort's butt?"
"That's a good idea Buttercup. Are you coming Bubbles?"
"Just a sec. Are you sure she's your girl friend Harry?"
"Yes I am Bubbles."
"Really sure? I mean she's REALLY old."
"I'm only 18 Bubbles" said asmiling Hermione.
The tiny girl's eyes got even wider. "Wow, you're older than I thought."
Hermione wasn't smiling anymore.
"Bye Harry, Old Lady!" Said Blossom.
"We're going to take care of that Goldisnorts for you, then tell the league that you have too much homework to join!" added Bubbles.
"We'll kick his butt for you!" concluded Buttercup.
They flew away, leaving trails of pink, blue and green behind them.
"Perspective Hermione, 18 is positively ancient from a 5 year old's point of view."
"From my perspective, Young sexy goddess who walks the Earth."
"Nice save Potter. You know you're probably going to go to hell for siccing them on Tom."
"I've been there. Hell is the Dursley's house in the summer."
Riddle was leaving the WC with a news paper under his arm when he was suddenly assaulted by three blurs, he fell to the ground having been hit several thousand times in 2 seconds, with each blow capable of shattering steel. When he fell, his arms and legs were broken and he was bleeding profusely from the nose and ears.
He was lifted bodily from the ground by a tiny blonde haired girl in a blue sundress. "And if you don't leave my boyfriend Harry Potter alone, I'll REALLY get mad, Mr. Poopypants!"
He fell to the ground when he was released and quickly lost consciousness.
"Hello Hermione." Said Luna, when she came up behind the bushy haired witch in the 3rd floor girls' Lav.
"Hello Luna." Hermione said, brushing out her hair in preparation for her evening 'Strategy Session' with Harry. "What are you up to tonight?"
"I thought I'd join you and Harry." She reached over and plucked a hair from Hermione's brush, and stuffed it into a vial of potion. "I saw how that Zantanna woman was walking after her 5 hour 'conference' with you and Harry and I said to my self, I gotta get me some of that." She tipped the vial back and took a sip. In a matter of seconds Hermione found herself looking herself in the eye. "I've got enough for about 6 hours. AND another vial with one of my hairs. Wanna be me?"
"Not this time, lets see what Harry thinks."
They found him in the room of requirements, where they dropped their robes to display they were wearing matching suspender belts and, stockings and Stilleto heels. Before the door closed completely so that the silencing charm could take effect the entire castle heard his reaction:
"BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER!"
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