FicWad

"Morning", I grumbled as I took a seat at a table where Alessa, Sophie, Liz and John sat, I settled my toast and coffee on the table, fuck, if I thought I wasn't a morning person, they were 47 times worse so they just sat with their hoodies up, eyes closed, sunglasses on and tried to wake up using a lot of coffee.
No, a lot of coffee is understatement.
Everyone just sulked, armed with cups of coffee clasped tightly in hands. Everyone but Liz, she was on the phone, I suspected it was Gerard but I pretended not to hear.
Yeah, as many new friends as I met, Gerard met twice as much.
He had his trusted Ben(Whom I hated cause he got wasted with Gerard and he hated me, thinking I was to uptight), he had his best buddy & bodyguard bear, hundreds of band members and crew who adored him, he was the popular kid on this tour, the funny part is that he didn't seem to notice it, and of course he had his Liz, new best friend and hair stylist.
Fuck, I so didn't like her. she was always around him, more then I was with him...she didn't had much to do because most bands style their own hair so she mostly fucked around back stage...my chemical romance back stage.

My phone rung once, I looked at the caller ID, it was Ronald.
Ronald was nothing I expected, he was out of this world, he might even be out of space.
He was a tall guy with a french moustache, fake french accent and a mean desire to be a female. He treated me like a low life maid, but I wasn't too worried cause he treated everyone that way, of course I was his assistant so it made me an official maid, he made me do everything from dry clean his clothes to trim his nose hair and run 25 times for coffee until it was just perfect, and he used a lot of air quotation marks AND on top of all of it he just couldn't remember my name and kept calling me Scar-let.
He gotta pray for my Jersey mentality not to lash out on his fake french ass one day.
"Fuck", I mumbled.
"Huh?", Sophie whispered
"Ronald", I moaned, "He always does that, he calls once to let me know he needs me and then I'm supposed to figure out where is he"
"Dick", Alessa spoke in single words in the morning.
"He's talented", Sophie shrugged.
"See you around", I threw my empty plastic cup in the nearest bin and took my toast with me.

I didn't had to look for too long, Ronald was in the tinsy winsy mini bus I shared with Jolie, Peter and Ronald, getting ready for a day of "art" ,"It took you 10 minutes to get here", he studied me and my toast.
"You never say where to find you", I tried not to lash at him and nibbled my toast.
Ronald gave me an evil look, "Schedule is there", he jerked his head gently to a random direction.
I looked for the damn schedule for 5 minutes which is exactly the time Ronald takes to put on mascara, I swear he takes longer than most girls.
"Passion after dark at 9.30", I read from the sheet, "Then fear on the dance floor, then self harm, and lost boys. Tight schedule, is it OK if I finish my toast first?"
"If you wish to be even fatter", Ronald studied me in his hand mirror.
My stomach tied in a little ball, fat? I always thought I'm pretty normal.

I spent the day gazing at my reflection at anything I could find, buses, spoons, cell phones, sun glasses...He was right, I was fat.
I couldn't believe I haven't noticed this before, I was fat, way too fat, but how come my size didn't changed since junior high? I'll tell you why, cause I was fat in junior high too!!!
How come no one told me I'm fat, I mean it wasn't a nice thing to hear but if they said it politely I would have known earlier that I'm fat.
Some friends, I have to hear from Ronald that I'm fucking fat!

After my day was finally over and Ronald was tucked in for the night to sleep his beauty sleep, I was free to wonder around the parking lot.
No one even thought about going to bed, it was so hot it felt like the cement was burning the soles of my all stars, my first thought was to go and make myself comfortable on the beach chairs with the rest of the crew but when I didn't spot Liz among the people I decided to go over to the my chem bus and claim back my Boyfriend...Husband...Gerard...Whatever...
I knocked on the door and waited for a few moments until Bob let me in, "Good evening".
I scanned quickly the living room area and was relived shortly that Liz wasn't there but neither was Gerard, Ray and Mikey were absent too.
Only Frankie was sitting in frond of a TV screen with a game paused on it.
I cuddled on the sofa behind him, "Where's everyone?"
Bob sat on the floor next to Frankie and took his controller thingy, "Mikey's in his bunk and Ray's at the party we'll go to once Gerard gets out of the fucking bathroom", he kinda yelled the last part so Gerard would hear I guess but all he got back was a soft murmur over the running water.
"I swear, either you can't make him go in there or he refuse to go out", Bob shook his head, I'm not sure at what, at Gerard's slight obsession with not showering/ spending hours in the shower or at the fact Frank was winning the game.
"Is Mikey sleeping or something?", I asked after I got tired to listen to what places Bob thought Frankie should go for winning the game.
"I dunno", Frankie smiled proudly.
"I'll go check up on him", I told them but they didn't seem to notice.

"Mikey", I whispered in case he was sleeping.
"Hmm", he didn't even drew back the curtain on his bunk. Boy, did I feel welcomed there or what.
He was lying in his bunk looking all pathetic, "Are you feeling well, Mikels?"
He nodded and shifted a little more in to make room for me, "Then what is it, honey?", I crawled in, shoes and all, I was as tired as he looked.
"Nothing", he said in a small voice.
"You aren't fooling me, sir", I put my hand around his stomach.
"Just feeling a little bit blue", he said with a shrug.
"Blue about what?", I closed my eyes for a while.
"Just everything. I want to go home".
"Aww", I cooed, "But Mikels, you have it great, everything you ever wanted is coming true. Home can wait, home will be there for you forever, this won't".
"I know", he sighed, "I know but I just wanna... I don't know..",
he sighed again in frustration, "I'm tired emotionally, you know what I mean? I'm up, I'm down, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm all over the place sometimes".
"Maybe you're PMSing", I said.
He chuckled a little, "Maybe".
"But seriously Mikey, I think it's normal, you're overwhelmed and it's as hot as hell, you'll come around".
"I guess", he sighed heavily again.
"Mikey, do you think I'm fat?".
"Oh yeah, giant", he said flatly.
I opened my eyes, "Really?".
"Yeah, I didn't want to say anything but you're getting out of hand...You gotta do something about it", he waved his hands.
"Why didn't you said something before?", I moaned, fucking Mikey.
"I don't know, how do you tell your best friend she's getting fatter by the second, I mean it seems like air has calories too judging by your weight problem".
I chew on my lip, not knowing what to say.
"I'm kidding, Skyler",he sounded like he was smirking.
"Fucker", I exclaimed, punching his stomach gently.
"What the hell?", he rubbed his stomach where I punched him.
"Ronald said...", Mikey cut me off, "He's full of shit, you out of everybody should know"
"Yeah but that made sense", I justified Ronald for some odd reason.
"Since when?", Mikey growled.
"Are we still best friends?", I was burning to ask this since Gerard and I hooked up because that's when I noticed our relationship started going on the blah side.
"Of course we are", Mikey patted my head, "Why would anything change?"
It was as though he was reading my mind and answering exactly what troubled me, we should have had this conversation 5 years ago.
"Cause everything changed so quickly", I muttered, feeling as close to him as I hadn't been in years.
"I know. But we're more than best friends, we're family"
My head jerked up so fast I got dizzy, "What?"
Did he guess? I was suspecting he did but he never said anything...Oh fuck!!!! The day has come and I had to face the music while Gerard was cupped in the bathroom.
Mikey smirked again and then smiled innocently, "You know...", my eyes popped violently out of their sockets, "We grew up together, having pretty much the same shit, it's more then friends forever bullshit. We're family. We're a religion".
My head dropped back on his chest accompanied by a sign of relief, I was just so fucking obvious it was sick, if he didn't know by now, he'd probably figure it all out by my reaction but all Mikey did was smile.
I didn't know what to think...He knows but is fucking with my mind? He doesn't and I'm just imagining shit? Oh and the consuming guilt that was like a big wall separating me from him for the past six months, since I married Gerard.
A loud yelp interrupted my thoughts, it came from the bathroom, for a split second Mikey and I stared at each other with horror, then jumped to our feet (Banging heads in the process, first with each other then with the bunk) and rushed to the bathroom.