Categories > Books > Eragon > In a World With Idiots (edited version)


by xcolorguardiex 0 reviews

Wondering what happened to Roran after they left him in Du Weldonvarden?? Here it is!

Category: Eragon - Rating: G - Genres: Humor,Parody - Characters: Roran - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2007-11-13 - Updated: 2007-11-14 - 516 words

NN: Now, We catch up with Roran after he made his way to Farthen Dur, and married his dwarf-wife.

Dwarf-Wife Ruby: Roran honey? Where are you sweetie? Our kids want you!

Roran: I'm right here honey! Where are our dwarf-human kids Granite, Marble, and Rock?

Marble, rock, and granite: Here, Daddy!

Roran: Oh, there! I'm coming dwarf-human kids!

-Roran makes his way over to where the three dwarf-human kids are. They are all named after a rock or jewel because ya know, dwarfs are like, well, yeah. You get it.-

Granite: Hi daddy!

Marble: I was going to say hi!

Rock: NO ME!!

Granite: ME!

Marble: ME!

Narrator: This continues on for some time, and Roran sticks his finger up his nose and watches it until it is three hours later and then they go to bed.
After they wake up in the morning, they all go out to the living room of their house, except Ruby, who was in the shower.

Ruby (from the shower): Roran! Come here honey!

Roran(from the living room): Why? I don't want to see you in the shower!

Marble, Granite, and Rock: EWWW!!!!!

Ruby: Yes you do honey.

Roran (like a three year old throwing a temper tantrum): NO I DONT! RORAN DOESN'T WANT TO! RORAN DOESN'T WANT TO! RORAN DOESN'T WANT TO!

Ruby(all of the sudden in the living room and dressed(thank goodness)):Hi Roran-Woran! Hi Rocky-Blocky! Hi Granite-Wanite!Hi Marble-Warble!


NN: Roran now starts running around the room thinking someone is chasing him while his kids giggle among themselves. Ruby, meanwhile sticks her finger up her nose and
runs around chasing Roran. This goes on for some time, until Roran stops and lies down on a couch.

Roran: That was a work-out! I still don’t know what was chasing me!

Ruby: Me either! I was following you to try and find out!

marble: I don’t think you guys are too smart. What’s 2+2 daddy?

Roran: Hmmm.... (exclaims) 22!!!! YAY! RORY SMART! (Roran starts humming a Roran smart Roran smart tune. Marble continues to ask them easy kindergarten-2nd grade questions)

Rock: Mom, what’s 2x2?

Ruby: 22. Duh. Everyone knows that it is the same thing as the answer to the 2+2 question. Duh.

Granite: Dad, what’s 4+0-4?

Roran: FOUR!

(all the kids sigh.)

NN: This isn’t very exciting. This is supposed to be a comedy!!!

*Story flashes to Legolas being admired by adoring fans. This isn’t funny either so the nn starts to look through different places.
Frodo with the ring. Harry and Ginny in the commonroom. Eragon eating pie. Catie yelling at Eragon. Arya picking her nose.
Murtagh with Nasuada. Someone in Farthen Dur playing a banjo. Someone in Uru Baen sing about Banjos. Nasuada singing about banjos wearing a ring. Murtagh
yelling at Nasuada while playing a banjo picking his nose and eating pie, while being watched by Legolas fans in a common room.*
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