Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Slayer, The Avatar And The Guardian Of Light
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The Slayer, The Avatar And The Guardian Of Light
(#) thedon1023 2007-11-17
i always thought Harry passed up a freakin golden opportunity at the ball with those sexy ladies. i only wish someone would write a fic where Harry has more slytherin tendencies and takes advantage of the fact that he went to a dance with a twin and the possibilities that may hold for him and his pleasure kukukuku!!!(grin evilly) alas, i doubt it will happen anytime soon. now i really wanna read a story where Harry is paired with either or both of the Patil Twins(sigh). anyways update soon
-The DonAuthor's response
There are fics out there with Slytherin Harry's, or Harry's where he jumps at the chance of being with attractive women, but unfortunately that is not what my Harry is like.
The only Patil twins ones I know are Harry multi ones where he ends up with the twins, Hermione and Ginny. Its called 'It Started One Summer' I think and was by Kinsfire, unfortunately it was never finished.
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GuardianOfLightThe Slayer, The Avatar And The Guardian Of Light
(#) TxA_GunFighter 2008-01-16
Outstanding chapter.
gunnyThe Slayer, The Avatar And The Guardian Of Light
(#) Fyrecat 2008-03-09
Another good chapter, thanks!
In my continuing effort to help you improve your writing, I took notes while reading this chapter so as to be able to point out places where editorial alterations would be beneficial.
1. "'s": plural vs posessive;
Plural is indicated with an "s" added at the end of the word. (books, dementors, schools) The apostrophe ('s) indicates possession. (Hermoine's books, olivander's store.)
2. Your vs you're: Another common error in English . "You're" is a contraction of "you are" as in: "If you're ready we'll go." ("If you are ready, we will go.") "Your" indicates ownership as in: "Are these your books?" Thusly: "If you're ready, grab your books and we'll go."
3. punctuation - ?,
Not every sentence in written english ends in a period. questions are indicated by the "?" surprise or other excitement is indicated by the "!". So many fan fic authors consistently fail to use correct punctuation that when one manages to do so it is a refreshing break. please pay attention to yours.
4. Passed vs, past. This is another common homonym misuse throughout this fic. "Past" indicated time or a static location. As in: "It was ten minutes past the time they were supposed to arrive." or "Her skirt hung to just past her knees. Whereas "passed" indicates active movement. "the fireball passed closely by his head, singeing his hair."
5. formerly vs. formally.
"Formerly" means "in the past."
So, Neville bowed formally to the wizengamoot, and he formerly owned a rememberall.
Again, I am not trying to be rude, Just to-the-point.
Thanks again for sharing your vision with us all.
P.S. if you are interested, you can reach me at: fyrecat[at]hotmail[dot]com.Author's response
I'm well aware that my grammar is bad at times, some of these are going to be my fault, others are just me typing too quickly and a few are going to be word auto-correcting.
I try to do my best when it comes to punctuation but as you know I am not perfect.
I would accept your offer to beta but I already have one and I normally produce a chapter for my beta and want it posted within the week, I can be impatient like that, yet another of my flaws.
Regards
GuardianOfLight
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