FicWad

"So did you spend lots of money today?" Gerard asked lying down on his bed. He was exhausted. For some reason tonight’s concert had left him drained.
Monica, who had been watching television, turned off the set and sat back down. She had wanted to make sure she was awake when he called. She hadn't wanted any nightmares to ruin her mood. "Uh, actually no."
He frowned as he kicked off his shoes, "How come?"
"Kelly and I went shopping with Bert." She waited for his response not knowing what to expect. Sometimes he still seemed bothered when she spent time with Bert.
"You went shopping with Bert? What the hell is he doing in town?"
"I don't know, I didn't really ask him." Monica realized she wasn't sure why Bert had spent so much time in New York.
"So why didn't you tell me?" He sounded hurt.
Monica tried to explain, "Cause I wasn't sure how you would react."
"So you just went ahead and went shopping with him not caring how I would feel?"
"Gerard, Bert is our friend."
He snorted, "I think he's more your friend then mine. I don't see him near as much as you do."
"Gerard, stop it. What's wrong?" She asked softly.
He sat up and grabbed his pack of cigarettes. Lighting one, he tried to keep anger out of his voice. "Bert has a history of spending time with my women."
Monica was shocked by his words, "Gee, are you saying you don't trust me?"
"I didn't say I don't trust you."
"So you don't trust Bert?"
He took a deep drag of the cigarette, "Fuck, in the past he's given me reason not to."
Monica's own anger was surfacing, "Oh, so it was all Bert's fault. Not perfect Liv, right?" She regretted her words are soon as they were spoken. "Gee, I'm sorry."
There was silence on his end, "Why do you always bring up Liv?' He finally asked.
"Cause she's always on your mind." Monica whispered.
Gerard's temper exploded, "Is that what you really think? That I spend all my time thinking about her? Is that why you won't marry me?'
"What? Who said I wouldn’t marry you? Monica couldn't believe her ears.
"We should be married by now. But you're so unsure about me." He said angrily.
Monica took a deep breath, "You're being unfair. Circumstances have prevented us from getting married. Blaming it all on me is unfair."
"Tell me, are you 100% sure we should get married? Are you even looking forward to September or are you dreading it?"
Monica ignored the tears in he eyes, "How could you believe I would dread marrying you? I may be scared because I don't want anything to ruin our happiness, but dread?" Her voice broke.
Gerard sighed, "Fuck it, I'm sorry. Shit, I didn't mean it, Honey. I'm scared too. Scared you'll change your mind. Wake up one morning and change your mind."
"You mean, you'll wake up one morning and I'll be gone. Just like Liv." She was crying now.
Gerard closed his eyes, "Monica, I know you're not Liv. You have to believe me."
They both were silent. He hated listening to her soft cries.
"Monica, I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too, Gee."
"I wish I was there with all my heart." He whispered.
"Gee?"
"Yeah?"
"Ask me why I didn't spend any money today." Her voice quivered.
He was confused but did as she asked, "Why didn't you spend any money?"
"Cause Bert paid as a wedding gift."
"What? Paid for what?"
Monica's voice was so soft he had to strain to hear her, "My wedding dress. I got my wedding dress today. I needed it to marry the man who has my heart."
Gerard's heart caught, "You have a wedding dress? Oh fuck, I’m such an idiot, Monica. I'm so sorry I said you didn't want t marry me. I just can't bear the thought of ever losing you."
Monica sighed, "I just said the same thing today. I can't bear the thought of ever losing you."
'I love you, Honey." Gerard said with all his heart.
"I love you, too." Monica answered from her heart as well.

"Dude, you are so fucking wasted." Dylan said grabbing the bottle from Mike.
Mike laughed, 'Yeah, ain't it great. This has been a good day, friend o'mine. That bitch Kelly and her cunt sister are gonna get theirs. The old man's lawyer said he could take care of everything."
The liquor in Dylan's system gave him courage to question his volatile friend, "But man, you did that shit to Kelly. I know you did."
Mike turned and glared at him, "What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't do anything to that bitch that she didn't ask for. Fuck, do you really think she thought I was just gonna hold her hand forever? She knew what was going down. I hate bitches that play hard to get.”
Dylan took another swig, "Whatever. I don't give a shit one way or another."
Mike leaned over and slapped him on the back. "Yeah, keep saying that. She wanted me. Fuck, I'm sure she still wants me." He jumped down off the retaining wall and stumbled. "Come on, man. Let's go."
"Go where?"
"I feel like paying a little visit." He pulled on Dylan's arm. "Get the fuck up."
"Man, who's gonna drive? I sure as fuck can't." He too swayed when he stood.
"You worry way to fuckin' much. I already got the shit in my car so we're ready to roll." Mike laughed.
Dylan took another drink and stumbled after his friend. There was a part of his brain that was telling him he shouldn’t be doing this. Too bad that part of his brain was being shut down by the alcohol.


Bob walked in just as Gerard was getting into bed.
“Talk to Monica?” He asked as he sat down to untie his shoes.
“Yeah” he smiled, “She got a wedding dress today.” He was happy to share this news.
“Kara told me.” Bob said with a chuckle. “Seem strange Bert paid for it?”
Gerard thought a moment, “Fuck I don’t care who paid for it. I’m just happy she got one.”
Bob was confused, “Well why wouldn’t she get one? You two are getting married in September.”
“Sometimes I don’t think our wedding day will ever come.’ He lifted his hand to look at his engagement ring. “I just wanna be married.”
Bob heard the uncertainty in his voice, ‘Dude, she loves you. You two will get married.”
“Easy for you to say you old married fart.” Gerard kidded.
“Yeah, that’s me. Gotta say I recommend married life. Even though we haven’t been able to spend a whole lot of time together.” Bob stood and moved towards the bathroom. “I’ll be fucking glad when we get our time off. Kara and I have so many things planned.”
“I’m sorry I gave you shit about marrying her at the beginning.” Gerard said yawning.
“No problem, man. It’s all good.” He stopped trying to decide if he wanted to confide in Gerard. “Uh, she was talking about having kids."
Gerard burst out laughing, “You should see your face. Can we say scared?”
Bob nodded, “Yeah, I guess but I really do want to have kids. A part of me and Kara together.”
“Yeah” Gerard closed his eyes. Sadness filled him. He wished he and Monica could have that happiness too. But a child of their own was something they would never have. The only child that was biologically his was also a part of Liv. Their love had created someone so special and beautiful. Had Liv felt this way the moment she had learned she was pregnant? Sleep was starting to claim him when he had one final thought. Right now at this very moment what was Elle doing? She had to be sleeping. If he was with her he would sneak in and giver her a kiss. He would stroke her hair and murmur in her ear that he loved her. She was created from his pure love for Liv. Had Liv ever really understood that? Had she known all along that he would have done anything for her?


Liv crawled back into bed slowly trying not to wake Elle. The pain had gotten so bad she had gotten up to take one of the pain pills the doctor had prescribed. Lying was painful and she hoped that during the night Elle wouldn’t roll over and knock into her side.
In her sleep Elle smiled. Liv wondered what she was dreaming about. She reached out and gently stroked Elle’s hair. Her beautiful baby. Did Gerard know her love for him had created this beautiful person? Did he realize, Liv wondered, how much she had loved him? The pain pills started to make her drowsy. Closing her eyes she pulled the blankets up and wondered, did he know how much his love for had meant? It was because of that love she had left him. It was because she had loved him that much.