FicWad

I was psyched! Ronald finally gave me a camera. And he didn't just give me a camera to hold or clean as usual, he gave me a camera so I could take pictures! As in real pictures! As in me taking picture to go on the tour's site and be viewed by tons of people!!
So OK he didn't really do it cause he finally saw my incredible talent or because he feels I learned so much from him, I can finally apply my genius skills and be the female version of him.
No, he got a food poisoning, so the furthest he could go is the toilette, that's where he assighed me to take today's schedule and go shot photos of bands.
Between throwing up sessions, he said with a French accent 'And make them decent, I know I can't ask much from a New Jersey born when it comes to art but please, at least pretend you have half a brain, Scarlett'.
I wasn't even pissed at him for getting my name wrong or reminding him I wasn't born in Jersey or just telling him he's a motherfucker, after all he was on his hands and knees throwing his soul up, I doubted he had a soul but hey you don't argue with common expressions and I finally can take picture!!
I didn't like the catering lady more then I did at that particular day!

As soon as I could be out of the men's bathroom, I flew out of there and ran to the minibus to get my equipment and schedule.
Luckily the minibus was empty, and when I say empty I mean that that motherfucking son of a bitch otherwise known as Pete wasn't there.
He didn't even apologize to me for setting me up like that, not even a guilty look!
But I can't think of him today. Today is happy day. A day when I finally gonna use my degree.
The first band I had to shoot were the guys, they had a gig at twelve and I was supposed to snap a few photos of it.
I was locking up the door when a hand rested on my shoulder, I kinda jumped around. Ever since I discovered that hate community I was extra jumpy and scared.
I blushed when I saw Bruce smiling at me, "What's up?".
"Nothing", I muttered, looking anywhere but at him.
"Where are you going?", he took out a pack of cigarettes and offered me one.
I declined, "To the main stage".
"Let's go then", he started walking to the general direction of the main stage, "I'm going there too".
I shrugged and followed him.

He was trying his best to start a small talk but I answered all his efforts with a yes, no and hmm.
I knew I was being stupid and that a dream is just a dream but I just couldn't bring myself to look at him without blushing, I just couldn't.
"Did I hurt you, Skyler?", Bruce kinda stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the crowd and turned to me, "I thought we were cool but you're acting weird".
I did what I do best around Bruce and blushed, "No we're cool"
"Then why are you all...", he couldn't find a proper word so he waved his hands around.
"Huh?", I looked down, fiddling with the zipper on my messenger bag.
"We got along so well but then you...I dunno...Changed", he started walking again.
Should I tell him about the dream?
Wait, did I actually think that I should tell him about the dream?! You went completely insane Skyler? Like more then your usual abnormal self?
Well maybe if he knew about it, it would be easier be around him..
How exactly?
I dunno...Just...I don't know...That he won't think I hate him or something because I actually like him.
Oh sure you sure as fuck loved him in that dream..
I can't believe you said that! Shut up!
Aw fuck, I'm a mental case...I was talking to myself...No talking is not half as bad as arguing with myself...And loosing the argument.
"Are you listening?", Bruce kinda got in my face, snapping me out of my argument with myself.
"Yeah", I nodded, blushing.
"Then what happened?", Bruce frowned.
"I...", I stammered, "I just...Hmm", fuck, can't you just lie a normal person?
Yeah sure why not, "Just that night when you didn't let Gerard go talk to that fucking band, it kinda hurt me"
"Oh Skybaby", he sighed. I blushed, "You gotta understand what hell would've broke loose if I let them do it, everything they worked for would go to shit".
"I understand", I assured him, I touched his arm but then jerked it off, blushing, "But you know, I was so scared"
"I'm sorry", he wrapped his arms around me, if blushing could've kill you, I would've died. Twice!
"Don't worry. I'm over it now", I tried to figure out all the ways possible to wriggle away from him.
"Are you sure?", he squeezed me closer.
Shit shit shit....It's a good thing Gerard can't see us.
And like on cue, my angel of bad luck sprinkled it's misfortune dust and Gerard cried out behind me, "Skyler!"
I jumped away from Bruce, Bruce looked confused from me to Gerard.
Gerard shot me a dirty look.
I gave him a pathetic look.
He shook his head.
I shrugged.
Bruce frowned, "Gerard, what the fuck are you doing here?".
Gerard diverted his stake like look to Bruce, "I saw my girlfriend and stopped by to say hello"
"You wanna be fucking late to your own gig?!", Bruce exclaimed, stepping closer to me and putting his arm back around me, "She's in good hands"
How I wished he wouldn't said that! My face burned like shit! See that's why I should've told Bru about the dream!
Are you kidding me?
Oh just shut up!
Gerard smirked, he turned on his heels and disappeared in the crowd.
I sighed, I would get so much shit later it's unbelievable!, "You shouldn't go so hard on him".
"He has a job to do", Bruce told me and led me closer to the stage, "Where's Ronald?", he kinda glanced around to see 5 foot 10 man in pink appear.
"He's sick", I rummaged in my bag for the right camera.
"Aw congrats, sweetie!", he squeezed my shoulders. My only wish was that Gerard didn't watch me somewhere.

The band before my chem came up, I aimed my camera at them but I was too short to get just the shot I wanted.
I humphed, and stood on my tiptoes leaning over the barrier but all I got was to drop my camera. Bruce got it for me but I wish he wouldn't cause I just had this feeling Gerard was somewhere watching.
"Need any help?", Bruce yelled over the music and pointed at my camera.
"I'm too short", I screamed back.
"What?", he stuck his ear in my month. I bet it doesn't look good from wherever Gerard was watching.
"I'm too fucking short", I repeated, trying to lean back from him.
He crouched, motioning on his back.
"Are you fucking kidding me?", I chuckled.
"Hop on", he motioned on his back more forcefully.
"I can't", I tried to make him stand up but he wouldn't, "You need help?"
"No", I giggled, "I'm too heavy".
I blushed when he looked me over, "Like a feather, hop on".
What can a girl do when someone is offering her his back?
That's right...Blush...And take advantage of it.
Whenever Gerard was, he wasn't happy.

Well at least I got good shoots from all this mess.
The guys were next, the crowd roared the minute Ray walked on stage holding his guitar, Bob was next, then Mikey and Frankie walked out too glancing backwards.
My heart blew up with pride, seeing them up there, doing what they knew best and I just couldn't explain how proud I was of them. My guys. My boys. I just loved them so much!
They all were welcomed with cheers and shrieks and screams and tears but the minute Gerard ran out, I thought I'd go deaf at all the noise the crowd behind me were making.
Bruce and I cheered loudly too, Frankie waved to me which caught Gerard's attention and he looked over too.
I was expecting to see smoke coming out of his ears but he didn't even look twice at us and carried on with the show.
Something was weird about him though, it wasn't his usual mad self when he was on stage, it was like he was possessed, screaming and running around. The only thing he didn't do was splits.
At some point his pants fell off, I gasped.
I automatically pointed my camera at him but I didn't push the button, I just couldn't capture this on film.
Once you take a photo, that moment is forever reserved even if you erase the picture later and I just didn't want to capture Gerard like that.
Bruce looked up at me and we frowned at each other, what the fuck is he on?
But apparently Bruce and I were the only people who found it alarming, the crowed wailed, thinking it was some kind part of the plan, and Gerard as fuck didn't care, he kept on jumping and screaming until he fell to the ground.
I felt like crying, so instead I diverted my camera to Bob and snapped a few pictures of him.

At the end of the gig, Bruce went backstage, to find out what the fuck was wrong with Gerard.
I wanted to go to him too but I figured it wouldn't be a good idea to go there with Bruce and besides I had to report immediately to Ronald.
So I made my way through the crowd, snapping a few shots of the ecstatic kids. They looked happy, I wish I could be as happy as them but I felt miserable more then anything.
I saw a familiar figure emerge from the backstage and make his way to me, it was Gerard, he was holding a cup of something but based on how he looked it wasn't milk.
He was all over the place, zigzagging and stumbling and singing on top of his lungs, his hair in his face. I looked around but there was no where I could hide.
"Hello", he gave me a sloppy kiss.
"Your pants fell down", I stated, wiping away the drool.
"Huh?", he leaned on me.
"Your pants fell down", I repeated.
"Yeah", he downed the rest of whatever not milky drink he had in his cup, "That damn women cut always falls down".
"Gerard", I sighed, rubbing my forehead.
"But I can tell you enjoyed the show", he threw away the cup and closed his hand into a fist, sticking it inches away from my mouth, "Tell the viewers at home how it felt to have Bruce's head between your legs?"
I gawped at him, I couldn't believe he actually said that.
"Like a dream come true maybe?", he spoke into his fist and then stuck it in front of me again.
I slapped his hand away, "Fuck off", I began walking away, biting back the tears.
"Come on!", he yelled after me, laughing "The public has the right to know! It's like a motherfucking law!"

I found Ronald sitting on a beach chair in front of our minibus, "Have you taken a picture of yummy Gerard without his pants on?"
I resented him for saying it! Gerard was wasted out of his mind and all he cared about was the picture of him without his pants on?!
I shook my head but I wasn't gonna tell him, I didn't take the picture on purpose.
"What?", he arched his painted eyebrows at me, "What do you mean no?".
"I was photographing the drummer and by the time I noticed he already pulled them on", it was my second big lie today but I didn't mind to lie, my entire life was built on lies and besides lying made my life look almost bearable.
Ronald closed his eyes and sighed deeply, rubbing his temples, "How stupid can you be? It could be the photo of your life and you blew it, Scarlett"
I felt like feeding him my fist! I'm so sick of him! I'm so sick of this motherfucking tour! I'm so sick of my stupid life! I want it all to end now!
I tried my best and my best is never good enough! Why do I get shit for the good I do? Is it a law too?
What was I supposed to do?! Fucking snap a shot of Gerard in his lowest? Who does he think I am?! Pete?!
I don't care anymore! He can fucking fire me and my name is not fucking Scarlett! But he's right! I'm stupid! And I'm a cheap excuse for a photographer!
But I didn't say any of this to him, I just nodded along to every piece of shit he called me without really listening...What I really needed is a drink...I'm sick of battling it, I should be more like Gerard, he doesn't give a flying fuck about anything, he wants to get wasted he does so...gig no gig, he's Gerard motherfucking Way.
And I mean he's gotta be doing something right, people respect him. He's the cupcake of this tour.