FicWad

OMMG. SO FRIKEN SAD. I put my bloody heart into this chapter. HOPE YOU LIKE and review please. Tell me what you think!
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Chapter Four: 20 Seconds Of Silence

I stood, for a while. Just staring as Frankie left the bathroom, and soon disappeared behind the wall.

“Gerard?” Mikey had called me, concern drifted upon his face. He new, something terrible was going to happen at the concert. I did also.

20 seconds of silence, and I finally snapped out of it. I threw Mikey a fake smile. He didn’t by it.

“Lets go Mikey!” I yelled.

‘Nothing matters now.’ I thought, I pushed myself threw Mikey and followed the dark hallway to the stage.

The crowed cheered, it was pitch black. They new we were there.

I took my place in front of the microphone, I looked out towards the jumping black figures when suddenly I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

‘Could it be, Frankie?!’ I thought, I spun nearly losing my balance.

Ray.

I could make out his fuzzy afro hair, he grinned.

“Gerard.. Forget about everything. And lets give these kids a show!” He whispered, walking away and taking his place next to me, I turned my head slightly Frankie was looking my way I looked towards the crowed.

Ray was right, nothing else matter. This was my time.

A huge burst of fire suddenly flew into the air, the stage was light with lights, and ray began to play.

“Now I know, that I cant make you stay. But where’s your heart? But where’s your heart. But where’s you-”

I continued the song, I swayed with the music. This was my life, the crowed cheered as I threw my red tie into the crowed. I new Mikey was staring at me in pure surprise, and Ray smiled as I moshed, and brought up the crowed to yell louder and louder.

5 Hours had passed, it hadn’t seemed like it but it had.
I hadn’t felt this at home in ages. I smiled and laughed, and danced.

“Are you guys having a fucking great time!?” I yelled, the crowed screamed yelled and applause.

“Have you guys ever felt, alone? Have you guys ever felt rejected? THIS SONG IS CALLED- I’M NOT OKAY!” I yelled, I head banged as Ray began the intro. I began to clap my hands, and runs around the stage, then toward the microphone.

“Well, if you wanted honesty, that’s all you had to say I never want to let u down or have you go It's better off this way. For all the dirty looks The photographs your boyfriend took. Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor—I’m not okaayy! I’m not okkaayy! I’m not okaayy! You wear me out!”

I jumped and jumped, I couldn’t control myself anymore. I sang as loud as I could, I ran around the stage. The chorus game once again, and I looked at Frankie as he screamed into the microphone ‘trust me.’

The girl screamed, and held out there hand out as if to touch him, I continued to sing. Jealousy crept over me again.

‘Fuck you sluts!’ I thought.

The song was about to end. Frankie had suddenly dropped to his knees in front of the screamed crowd if girls.

That did it.

I lost control, was he testing me?

“FRANKIEE!” I screamed, Frankie shot me a look, and stood and continued to play. “FRANKIE, I’M NOT OH-FUCKING-KAY!” I threw the microphone on the floor, it screeched, I ran towards Frankie, took hold of his top and pulled his towards me, I kissed him passionately.

Frankie had stopped playing.

I felt the gaze of the crowed upon us.

Frankie allowed me entrance, and we were soon playing games with each others tongues. I sucked his lower lips. Then suddenly Frankie pushed me away. I was dumb struck. He looked at me, in pure horror, it had just hit him that I wasn’t playing around. He looked discussed, almost on the edge of being sick. He stood there, and I did also.

Ray suddenly, broke into a solo trying to rid us of the attention, it didn’t work. Everyone was starting at us, some jumped to Ray solo, and screamed.

“Frankie..” I whispered. “Frankie.. please. I- I”

“Gerard. I don’t fucking love you! I’m not gay!” He yelled.

‘FUCK! NOOOO!’ I thought, what he had just said echoed. The microphone had picked it up, and the whole stadium had heard him say it.

Ray suddenly stopped. The crowed gasped and began to whisper.

I felt something slam into my back, and push me towards the stares and backstage.

‘Frankie.. doesn’t love me. He hates me. I fucked up.’ I was in shock. I continually thought about the exact same line, it replayed.

We had reached the room backstage. I couldn’t move. I was suddenly turned around, and pushed onto the black lounge. Mikey stood in front of me. His face pale with shock. I didn’t know what to say.

“Gerard? Gerard?” He continual repeated my name until I gave a response.

“M-Mikey.. I. I didn’t know what. I- I. I fucked up!” I mumbled trying to make sense of words.

Mikey just stared at me. Suddenly rapped my arm around him, hugging him tightly, he hugged back. I mumbled, and sniffed.

Ray rushed in, followed by Bob who looked as pale as Mikey.

“Gerard!” Ray yelled.

I ignored them, I held Mikey in my embrace for a while, I felt like a little child that had just lost there favorite toys.

“Jesus!” Ray yelled, pacing up and down. “Gerard, holy fuck man! How could you have done that! HOLY SHIT MAN!”

Mikey shot him a death glare and Ray suddenly quieted himself.

“Frankie wait up!” Bob yelled, rushing outside the door.

Frankie must have walked past.

I pushed Mikey away. I needed a drink. I needed alcohol. It was my best friend at times like these. It numbed my body. It took away my troubles.

I rushed outside, I ran past the tour bus, and there stood Frankie and Bob, who seemed to be arguing with him.

Bob turned his head and yelled my name, Frankie looked at me.
I ignored his call. And I continued to run.

I ran and ran an ran, I didn’t stop. I ran away from the tour bus, I ran towards the town and I stopped as soon as I saw a liquor store, and there in the window stood a tall row of Vodka, it seemed to be calling to me. The long, clear liquid cause my lips to throb, I wanted it.

I walked into the liquor store, and bought to bottled of vodka, and left.

I walked towards a near by park, and sat on the bench.

The events of the concerts replayed in my head, I could hear Frankie’s very words. “Gerard. I don’t fucking love you! I’m not gay!”

I began to sob. I opened the first bottle of vodka, and brought it to my lips I began to scull. My head began to spin I continued to drink and drink until nothing was left. My vision began to bluer, I stood and began to walk towards the swing set, the sun had already set, and it got darker by the second. I dropped the empty bottle of vodka, it crashed onto the concrete. I twisted the bottle cap and began the second bottle of vodka, my thought vanished. I didn’t know where I was, or even who I was.

Then suddenly, I felt my body collapse, and the bottle of half filled vodka crash in my hand. My head smashed against the concrete I felt a warm liquid began to poor out of my hand and skull.

I turned my body to face the stars.

"I hope i fucking die.."

then sudden blackness.