Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > the fact of the matter it that is just a matter of time

Don't Hesitate to Hate

by natzlovesyou 2 reviews

... READ & REVIEW :P. K? thanks.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Characters: Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Published: 2007-12-16 - Updated: 2007-12-16 - 1455 words

Chapter 26

I woke up slowly, unsure if it was still night or day due to the constant darkness of the basement. I tilted my head to look at Gerard and found his eyes were open.
“Morning” I breathed. He looked down at me, as if he had almost forgotten I’d been there. A sleepy, lopsided grin lightened his already beautiful features in response. I had been afraid his anger was the same as yesterday but he seemed really calm, although I could still sense hurt in his eyes. A bit of disapproval and even confusion did linger in there, but it was better than anger, that’s for sure. We rose up slowly, taking our time to disentangle our arms from each other and stretch the comfortably numb limbs from sleeping in an embrace.
I shook my head like a dog, trying to shoo the sleepiness away. “You look much less tired” Gerard pointed out. I smiled, “You do too”. He stared at me, not the same killer glare he had used on me before, but it still intimidated me.
“Should we talk about…?” I asked quietly, preferring to avoid the subject altogether but knowing it was best to confront it. He nodded and pulled me into a hug.
“Why didn’t you say goodbye?” He asked, his words almost too fast for me to understand, but what was clear was the urgency in those five words.
“I didn’t think I would’ve been able to leave so easily if I’d told you. And I couldn’t not go. My mom needed me”
“Why didn’t you tell me about your mom? What’s the problem with her?”
“/was/” I corrected.
“Huh?” He asked.
“What was the problem with her. She’s dead.”
“Oh…did she have an accident or something? Was that the urgency in leaving?” He inquired. I sighed. Thank God I wasn’t looking at his expression; it was so much easier talking into his chest.
“My mother was mentally ill. That’s why I came to live with Dad. She could no longer care for me, not that she ever had. Dad left her because of that.” I blurted out before measuring my words carefully.
There was a long pause as he processed the words that had just left my lips. He nodded, apparently understanding everything I had said.
“So you…waited until she died? Was it that bad?”
“Yeah...Yup, she had been bad for several years…and now it only got worst. I guess my not being around helped her kick the bucket. She used to get really mad at me, which didn’t help her recover much, but at the same time I was sure to take extremely good care of her and did everything she needed. I also prepared her favourite food; rented the movies she liked and played her favourite music. She liked to stroll down this park full of gigantic trees and I accompanied her there. I guess the isolation from the real world just killed her. Quite literally”
“I see” He muttered and I believed he really did see what had happened.
“What are /we/?” I asked, dreading the answer.
He paused again, this time a longer, measured pause. I stared into his eyes and watch them look around his room and then bore into mine.
“Whatever you want us to be” He said truthfully, and I understood I didn’t really have to say out loud what I wanted, we would be defined by the way I decided to act towards him. But that would be confusing, I thought to myself…
“I want whatever you want. It’s your call” I protested.
“Then we’re together” He stated firmly, searching for my hands and intertwining his fingers with mine. I smiled at him and held his gaze. He bended forward slowly and locked his lips on mine, the slow kiss turned into a fervent one: one of his hands flew to the back of my neck, gently pushing me towards him and the other one rested in the small of my back. My hands went directly to his wonderful hair and caressed his jaw as well. It had been so long since I’d felt any kind of positive emotion and this unadulterated tarantella of passion made my limbs tremble the right way. After some minutes Gerard stared at my body and rubbed his hands against my shoulders,
“You’re so skinny…so…./fragile/” He whispered, with a voice full of distress. I looked away, his concern making my Pegastick-bound pieces quiver even more.
“What’s gonna be our story?” I asked him. He cocked an eyebrow before getting my point. He looked at the clock; the red numbers read nine thirty.
“Easy, you came here ‘round eight. Mom already went home by then, Gran is showering and wouldn’t’ve heard the doorbell and Mikey’s snoring. We were talking down here.” As he said this he fetched his shirt and I went to the bathroom to arrange myself to look as if I hadn’t spent the night here.
By the time I came back Gerard had unlocked the door and was sitting with his back resting on the border of the bed and nodded for me to seat on the couch.
“So what are we doing today?” He asked casually, trying to lighten the mood.
“Wanna spend the day here?” He proposed.
“Sure, although I should get home and shower…”
“Go home after lunch” He suggested
“Okay” I agreed, happy to stay with him for as long as I was able.
“Hey Gerarddd…” Mikey groaned as he opened the door. He stared at us and yelped.
“Well hello there Mikes. What a way to greet me” I replied smugly.
“I just…didn’t think you’d be here. /And didn’t think he’d let you alive if he got you first/” He whispered the last part but Gerard still heard him and punched him on the arm.
“Ow!” I laughed at their brotherly interaction. Then Mikey stared at me in a different way, a more serious one, and then threw a meaningful glance towards Gerard.
“When did you come here?” He asked, his voice trying to sound curious rather than implying.
“’round eight. As soon as I woke up” I replied casually.
“I didn’t hear the doorbell” He commented as he sat down beside me.
“You were asleep you dumbass” Gerard retorted.” Anyway, Gabe’s staying the day.” He announced.
“Better tell Gran. She’ll want to know that for lunch” Mikey added.
“Shit, you’re right. Be right back” Gerard said, throwing me an affectionate look.
Mikes stared at me hardly with accusation and reproval rather than love, “You’re skinny as hell. What are you now, anorexic?” He spat
“No. I just didn’t have much time for eating.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, his curiosity taking the best of him.
“No” I stated and then added as I noticed his hurt expression, “I really don’t want to get into that again. Have Gerard explain./Please/”I all but implored on my knees.
“Sure” He said, dismissing the subject, “You two…?”
“Together” I stated, unable to contain the smile. Before Mikey could say anything else Gerard barged into the room, “Gran says its fine. We’re having mashed potatoes and hot chocolate with marshmallows on the evening!” He chimed eagerly.
“Can’t wait” I replied, full of joy. Mikey stared at us with a weird expression on his eyes, almost expecting Gerard to take acid from under his bed and see if I was an alien or not. Maybe my being skinny made my head look bigger and he really thought I was one. Or maybe it didn’t have anything to do with aliens. Maybe it bothered him neither of us seemed mad at each other, and that we had a rather chipper mood. Maybe he was simply jealous.
Now he looked like an alien: I saw the greenish tint of envy on his face, his head looked humongous with his scarecrow hair and bottom-of-a-bottle-thick lenses in comparison with his skinny body in the process of growing.
I focused on Gerard now, his rambled black hair, his beautiful hazel eyes stealing glances at me, his pale skin, his I-don’t-give-a-damn movements, as if he didn’t have a care in life.
This was going to be a good day, I could sense it.

Eager Cannibals (A Static Lullaby)
Always (Blink 182)
Bad Habit (The Dresden Dolls)
Fix You (Coldplay)
Checkmarks (The Academy Is…)
The Only Difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage (panic! At the Disco)
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