Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Soul Purpose
A/N: Wow! I can’t believe I sat down all day and wrote such a long chapter… I hope it makes up for the slightly late update. I love reading reviews :D
5.“I Won’t Cook For You!”
Half an hour and some serious hand-shaking later, everybody had found themselves somewhere to sit and chat. Ray and Zack were seated on one side of the couch, talking excitedly about Iron Maiden – which happened to be their favorite band.
“I’ve always wanted to cover The Wicker Man” said Zack. “There’s just something about that song that makes me go… wild”
Ray nodded in agreement, his afro bouncing up and down with the movement. He was surprised to find out how he seemed to have clicked with the other guitarist instantly – they had so much in common.
He realized Zack’s perception of music was really close to his own. He was really glad they had decided to ask this band to tour with them. He already had the feeling that it was going to be fun and inspiring, hanging out with them.
“It’s really hard covering their songs” he said “And not just because of the complex guitar solos…I mean, sure it’s called a ‘cover’ but you can’t help but want the music you make to invoke the same feelings in you as theirs do.”
Zack’s eyes widened and he nodded, readily. “Exactly! You kinda feel like you’re betraying the song, changing it’s meaning somehow… That’s the main reason why we don’t do covers that much anymore. But I still want to cover The Wicker Man… We covered Rainmaker once, thanks to Defne. She was really eager to do it and let me tell you, she can be pretty convincing when she wants something that bad…”
Ray grinned. “Yeah, I know. Girls can be pretty insistent. They don’t forget and they don’t let you forget, either.”
Zack let out a throaty laugh. “She’s not your most typical girl. She does talk much than any other person – male or female – I know, but that’s not what makes her convincing. I hope you don’t see that particular part of her real soon but she can get really scary, sometimes.”
“Scary, huh?” Ray asked intrigued.
“Yeah, well she nearly threatened me in order to make me play Rainmaker.” He said smiling fondly at the memory. “But I guess it was worth it. The expression on her face while she was singing those words… I think Defne has some weird connection with that song. With the lyrics, the melody, the feeling… I swear, if she could, she would play it and sing it by herself.”
Ray chuckled.
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Piled up on the other side of the couch were Bob, Chris and Matt talking heatedly about Indy 500 – how they managed to dive into that topic noone knew.
“I heard nowadays they let fans drive four laps around the Speedway behind one of the professional drivers… Just think about it! You could ride at 180 mph or higher…” said Chris dreamily. His eyes were staring past everyone, you could see the childish joy of imagining himself in that car on his handsome face.
“Don’t they put you through some kind of training or anything?” Bob asked.
Chris didn’t say a thing. He really was lost in daydreaming. Matt shook his head at his friend’s lost state and answered instead.
“Yeah, I think they do put you through some training sessions. After all, they can’t let everyone get behind the wheel…”
Bob nodded. “I’ve always wanted to get inside one of those cars, you know. Actually, the original dream was to race but… that doesn’t seem like it’s gonna happen soon. Man, it’s something I’ve gotta do before I die.”
Matt grinned. “Isn’t that every man’s wish?” he asked and looked at the still basking rhythm guitarist next to him. His grin got even bigger as he slapped his friend’s back forcefully, catching him truly off guard.
Poor Chris jumped a good half feet off the couch and shook out of his reverie. He shot a heated look at the drummer. Leaning in towards Bob to continue their conversation, he elbowed Matt in the gut and started talking like nothing happened. Matt doubled over in pain and laughter.
“I think there are specific dates scheduled for driving opportunities.” he said and then sighed in disappointment. “But I guess we’ll all be on tour then, so…”
Bob shrugged. “I said before I die, it doesn’t have to be this summer. If it’s not 2007, it will be some other time.” he said, trying to be optimistic.
“Speaking about the tour” the blonde drummer continued “Do you guys have a tour bus?” His baby blues had a mischievous glint in them and one corner of his mouth had started to lift up, bringing his lip ring along with it.
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The others, Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Defne and Devon were seated on a booth nearby. Everyone had a beer except Gerard – who was happily sipping his diet soda.
The boys had asked Defne and Devon how they had formed their band and they were happy to tell them their tale.
Devon’s hand was playing with his shaggy chestnut hair, messing it up and straightening it again as he talked.
“Well, Zack and I have been friends for like forever. We’d found a band called Permanent Damage in high school…But we had to split when we went of to college. He got accepted into Stanford, can you believe that?” he said shaking his head.
“Stanford? Wow…” Frank exclaimed, his eyes as big as saucers.
Devon nodded and went on. “Yeah and then he went all ‘ooh midterms, ahh finals! I pulled an all-nighter last night.’ That fucking dude couldn’t get his damn head away from those text books! But of course he still played the guitar, that’s the one and only fucking thing he can’t seem to give up.”
“I’ve never known someone quite like him.” Defne said, interrupting. “Playing the guitar is truly a passion for him. I mean I like playing the guitar, too. It works like therapy for me. Feeling the strings under my fingers and hearing the sounds coming from the amp help empty my mind. But for him, it’s something unstoppable. Something that comes from deep within him, you know? Something that has always been there in the first place. Sometimes when I’m watching him while he’s playing, I just can’t imagine him without it. It’s like it has always been Zack and his guitar…”
“I seriously think he was born with that thing strapped to his body” Devon muttered. They all chuckled at that.
Gerard looked over to where Zack and Ray sat. His friends’ words about Zack had reminded the lead singer of another particular guitarist who happened to be sitting next to the other one. He smiled.
“He sounds like Toro” he said, his smile growing larger as he saw the two guitarists laugh at something together. “I’ve got this feeling that those two are gonna get along really well.”
Frank looked at where his friend was staring and giggled. “They look pretty cozy to me already.” he said.
“I think someone is finally gonna understand Ray fully. I mean, Frank tries his best but they both have really different approaches to guitar.” Mikey commented.
Frank stopped giggling and frowned. “I’m telling you, the man’s a genius! It’s not that easy to get what’s on his mind…”
Gerard laughed, throwing his head back and hugged his friend. “Oh, we know that Frankie. You try , that’s what really counts. And we all love you for it!” he said grinning from ear to ear. His perfect little teeth were on display for the world to see.
Defne couldn’t help but gaze at the two as a tiny smiled tugged at her lips. They looked truly adorable. Frank, so little and cute, pushed into his friend’s torso, his arms wrapped around the singer’s waist. And Gerard, flashing those little white teeth, with his arm around the younger man’s shoulders, his head on top of the others’, their jet-black hair mingling with each other. A girl had the right to stare dumbfounded at the sight of such beauty.
The two broke up from their hug and encouraged Devon to go on.
The bassist continued. “Okay, so, one day he called me and said that he met an amazing girl at this party thing… Apparently, she got drunk and sang a song and he was thrilled.”
Defne blushed furiously. “You never told me that!” she exclaimed.
Devon looked at her indifferently and replied. “You never asked…”
She huffed and tossed her head to get her bangs away from her face. “Come on, Devon, that’s cheesy!”
“But it’s true.” the bassist said, smirking.
Mikey looked at the two. He was intrigued. “So, that drunk singing girl was Defne?” he asked, hoping to give them the clue to continue.
“Well, yeah. Zack soon discovered that he and Defne here, were mostly in the same post-graduate classes –”
“Post-graduate? At Stanford? Woow! We’ve got too many well-educated people, here.” Gerard said. He was thrilled. She looked younger,she couldn’t possibly have finished post-graduate studies could she?
Defne blushed again and smiled nervously. “Yeah, but the process of getting well-educated in a subject you don’t intend to use in future life can be really boring.”
“Why? What did you study?” Gerard asked, curious.
“I majored in Electrical-Electronical Engineering back in Turkey and I was accepted to Stanford later on. I completed my MS degree there… I’m truly happy it’s all over, now.”
Frank’s eyes had once again gotten huge; his mouth was hanging open slightly. “Just how old are you?” he asked, amazed.
She chuckled. Gerard couldn’t help but think he started to like it when she did that.
“I’m gonna be 24 on July 7.” she answered.
“You look younger.” Gerard said. He was thinking she had such an innocent face.
“And you don’t?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
He cracked a grin. “Well, ummm, I guess we all look a little younger than we are… And I can’t believe you’re an engineer!”
Devon laughed at his shocked expression and joked. “She doesn’t look like one, does she? I’m always telling her, she chose the wrong profession. She should have become a fucking nurse!” He earned a smack on the head for that one. But still, he continued. “She would have slaughtered all the poor patients…”
“Maybe not all the patients but I would definitely slaughter a jackass like you!” she said heatedly.
Mikey, Frank and Gerard let the two bicker for some time, sipping their drinks and enjoying themselves.
When they finally calmed down, Mikey, defeated by his curiosity again, changed the subject.
“So, Defne, you’re from Turkey, huh?”
She nodded distractedly. She was thinking whether it would make a difference for the guys if she were American or Turkish or anything. But when she looked into Mikey’s dark eyes, she spotted the almost childish curiosity in them and smiled despite herself. They weren’t fucking racists.
“Wow… Your speech is so fluent, I mean… y-you don’t even have an accent or anything.” Mikey muttered. He had suddenly been struck by a wave of shyness.
She smiled warmly at him. “I’ve been living here for nearly three years and back at home I learnt English when I was pretty young so… I guess it’s like second nature to me.”
The others all nodded in agreement.
Frank shifted in his seat and grinned suddenly. “You know, we’ve still haven’t heard the story of Soul Purpose. Somebody always seems to interrupt or change the topic!” he said.
Defne smiled at that. “Yeah… I also think it’s because Devon can’t hold people’s full attention on himself for long. He just seems to lack that pretty skill… Actually, he reminds me of one of my Physics teachers at high school.” she said, her smile turning to a grin.
The bassist just rolled his eyes this time and gestured for her to tell the tale herself.
She cleared her throat – in order to make them pay attention – and started from where he left.
“Hmmm… so I met Zack and we soon became friends. Actually he was my only close friend. And one day he told me about this band idea he had. I was really depressed then and it seemed like a hell of an idea! I was in a band in college; but of course we broke apart after graduation, everyone went their own way…And when Zack voiced the band idea, I realized I was waiting for an opportunity like that since Inside Therapy broke apart. I was yearning to be able to escape from reality and do what I wanted to do for real. So, Devon here came along on Zack’s call, dragging Matt with him. The original thought was for me to play the guitar and sing at the same time. And I could do that, I’d done that before but it’s hard… to really sink in to the song or really feel the instrument in your hands if you’re trying to do the two at the same time.” She paused, her eyes darted of to wander around the crowded club.
Gerard chose that moment to talk, smiling. “That’s how I felt, too. I wanted to sing and move to the music as I liked but it was hard trying to do it at the same time with playing the guitar… Besides, I’m a shitty guitar player. Ray has admitted it, too, that I’m not good enough to play live…”
“To be honest, I sometimes fucked up the rhythm, too…” Defne said. “But I just couldn’t help it with some songs… It’s so hard.”
Gerard nodded frantically. “Basically, it fucks up your liberty on stage.” he said.
She smiled at him, her head cocked to one side, as if her thoughts were elsewhere. He let out an unintentional little sigh. She was charming with that cute smile of hers. Her cheeks looking so soft and her hair gracing her elegant features.
She was staring at him again, she could feel it. She just couldn’t help but shake herself out of it. He had such an angelic smile… He looked so sincere, the beauty of his mind, his soul reflected upon his face like that. Somehow, she noticed his eyes were locked on her face. Was he staring at her intensely, or what?
She shook her head slightly and the movement reminded Gerard of a little bird shaking itself to settle its feathers. She started talking, again.
“Luckily Chris came and joined us. So now, the world doesn’t have to hear me try to sing whilst playing the guitar.”
Frank raised his perfectly shaped eyebrows and winked at her. “I’m sure you’re not that bad.” he said. “So, who came up with the name? It’s pretty cool.”
Defne and Devon looked at each other, then they looked at the other members of their band, who were still happily chatting, they looked at Frank and looked at each other once again.
“Hey, what’s going on?” asked Gerard playfully.
Defne stared at her hands wrapped around her glass and grinned. “It’s stupid, really… How we came up with the name…” She raised her eyes and looked at the members of MCR.
“So, umm, one night we were all watching Angel on TV.” she began. Frank started giggling like a girl. She looked at him for a moment and shook her head. “And it was this crazy episode where Angel kept seeing crazy dreams and was rescued by Spike. It was funny, really… So I looked up for the episode on the internet and it was called ‘Soul Purpose’…” she said.
“And it occurred to all of us that it sounded so damn good.” Devon said.
“Yeah… and the meaning behind it… it was perfect for us.” Defne said. “I mean, really, I feel like this band is my purpose, this music is what kept me going…”
Gerard understood her completely.
They sat in peaceful silence for a few moments until Bob, Matt and Chris walked up to their side. Bob looked way too happy.
“Yo guys! Matt and Chris here say they don’t have a bus but they’re going to buy one, soon.” he said winking at them. Frank’s eyes immediately lit up and he squealed. Gerard and Mikey laughed at him.
“So I told them about the baby we were looking at earlier today.” Bob continued.
Devon shook his head confusedly. “What?” he asked. He had voiced Defne’s very own thoughts.
Frank, since he was the one to discover the bus in the beginning, thought it was convenient for himself to explain the subject. His whole face was a portrait of childish glee as he started explaining. He looked like a kid with lots of ice cream on a hot summer day.
“Sometime ago I found this unbelievable thing on the internet. It’s still classified as a bus but it’s definitely more than just that. I showed it to the guys today…” he began, excitedly. And then he went on and on about how big it was, how practical it was, how big it was again and how much fun they were gonna have with it.
“But there’s this tiny teensy little problem.” Gerard interrupted.
Frank nodded. “Since it has like 12 bunks, we don’t really think we can persuade Brian to buy it for us. So we thought, if you don’t mind the company, we could ride in the same bus – the bus being that gigantic fun-center I’ve told you about.”
“Your friends have already agreed.” said Bob with a triumphant smile on his face, gesturing towards Matt and Chris.
Gerard looked expectantly at the dark haired girl before him. He really wanted to hear the agreeing tone in her voice. He wanted to spend more time with her, to know everything about her. He wanted to see her in the morning when she woke up.
“So what do you say?” he asked, taking a deep breath.
“Hell, yeah!” exclaimed Devon, punching the air above his face with his fist. Then something occurred to him and he looked back at Defne. She seemed to be thinking.
“Of course, if Deff doesn’t mind living with 5 extra guys, that is.” he said, the excited tone disappearing from his voice slowly.
She looked up and stared at everyone with huge eyes.
Mikey smiled at her. “You scared the poor girl! Look at her face, it’s too much for her.”
She slowly started shaking her head. Gerard’s heart sank. His shoulders slumped. She didn’t want…
“I don’t mind really” she began “I mean, I spent my college years with only one female friend – the rest were all guys. Statistically, we had 6 guys for every single girl… And I spent a year with these dirty guys in a stinky van full of crap.” She bit her lip.
“But, are you guys really okay with this?” she asked.
They all nodded their heads. Frank had started to bounce up and down on his seat, again.
“What about Ray?” she asked again.
“We bribed him with a room he could turn into a studio.” said Mikey.
Defne couldn’t help but grin. “Umm, I guess Zack would be okay, too…”
“So?” Gerard asked, his hopes up.
“Yeah… Yeah I’m okay with it.” she said, smiling.
Her mind had finally registered what touring in the same bus with MCR meant. It was… It was perfect. She couldn’t wait to see the sleepy Gerard with morning hair, rubbing his eyes to clear the sleep out of them. Oh, this could be fun!
Frank literally stood and started jumping up and down. “This is gonna be soo much fun!” he yelled.
She watched him in amazement.
“But I won’t cook for you!” she shouted so that all of them could hear her.
They all looked at her – even Zack and Ray, who had joined them recently, curious to know what was happening – and broke into a giant fit of laughter and giggles.
When Defne was finally able to recover, she sat back and a pair of intense hazel eyes locked with hers. She felt as if she was falling…
And Gerard smiled at her.
5.“I Won’t Cook For You!”
Half an hour and some serious hand-shaking later, everybody had found themselves somewhere to sit and chat. Ray and Zack were seated on one side of the couch, talking excitedly about Iron Maiden – which happened to be their favorite band.
“I’ve always wanted to cover The Wicker Man” said Zack. “There’s just something about that song that makes me go… wild”
Ray nodded in agreement, his afro bouncing up and down with the movement. He was surprised to find out how he seemed to have clicked with the other guitarist instantly – they had so much in common.
He realized Zack’s perception of music was really close to his own. He was really glad they had decided to ask this band to tour with them. He already had the feeling that it was going to be fun and inspiring, hanging out with them.
“It’s really hard covering their songs” he said “And not just because of the complex guitar solos…I mean, sure it’s called a ‘cover’ but you can’t help but want the music you make to invoke the same feelings in you as theirs do.”
Zack’s eyes widened and he nodded, readily. “Exactly! You kinda feel like you’re betraying the song, changing it’s meaning somehow… That’s the main reason why we don’t do covers that much anymore. But I still want to cover The Wicker Man… We covered Rainmaker once, thanks to Defne. She was really eager to do it and let me tell you, she can be pretty convincing when she wants something that bad…”
Ray grinned. “Yeah, I know. Girls can be pretty insistent. They don’t forget and they don’t let you forget, either.”
Zack let out a throaty laugh. “She’s not your most typical girl. She does talk much than any other person – male or female – I know, but that’s not what makes her convincing. I hope you don’t see that particular part of her real soon but she can get really scary, sometimes.”
“Scary, huh?” Ray asked intrigued.
“Yeah, well she nearly threatened me in order to make me play Rainmaker.” He said smiling fondly at the memory. “But I guess it was worth it. The expression on her face while she was singing those words… I think Defne has some weird connection with that song. With the lyrics, the melody, the feeling… I swear, if she could, she would play it and sing it by herself.”
Ray chuckled.
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Piled up on the other side of the couch were Bob, Chris and Matt talking heatedly about Indy 500 – how they managed to dive into that topic noone knew.
“I heard nowadays they let fans drive four laps around the Speedway behind one of the professional drivers… Just think about it! You could ride at 180 mph or higher…” said Chris dreamily. His eyes were staring past everyone, you could see the childish joy of imagining himself in that car on his handsome face.
“Don’t they put you through some kind of training or anything?” Bob asked.
Chris didn’t say a thing. He really was lost in daydreaming. Matt shook his head at his friend’s lost state and answered instead.
“Yeah, I think they do put you through some training sessions. After all, they can’t let everyone get behind the wheel…”
Bob nodded. “I’ve always wanted to get inside one of those cars, you know. Actually, the original dream was to race but… that doesn’t seem like it’s gonna happen soon. Man, it’s something I’ve gotta do before I die.”
Matt grinned. “Isn’t that every man’s wish?” he asked and looked at the still basking rhythm guitarist next to him. His grin got even bigger as he slapped his friend’s back forcefully, catching him truly off guard.
Poor Chris jumped a good half feet off the couch and shook out of his reverie. He shot a heated look at the drummer. Leaning in towards Bob to continue their conversation, he elbowed Matt in the gut and started talking like nothing happened. Matt doubled over in pain and laughter.
“I think there are specific dates scheduled for driving opportunities.” he said and then sighed in disappointment. “But I guess we’ll all be on tour then, so…”
Bob shrugged. “I said before I die, it doesn’t have to be this summer. If it’s not 2007, it will be some other time.” he said, trying to be optimistic.
“Speaking about the tour” the blonde drummer continued “Do you guys have a tour bus?” His baby blues had a mischievous glint in them and one corner of his mouth had started to lift up, bringing his lip ring along with it.
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The others, Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Defne and Devon were seated on a booth nearby. Everyone had a beer except Gerard – who was happily sipping his diet soda.
The boys had asked Defne and Devon how they had formed their band and they were happy to tell them their tale.
Devon’s hand was playing with his shaggy chestnut hair, messing it up and straightening it again as he talked.
“Well, Zack and I have been friends for like forever. We’d found a band called Permanent Damage in high school…But we had to split when we went of to college. He got accepted into Stanford, can you believe that?” he said shaking his head.
“Stanford? Wow…” Frank exclaimed, his eyes as big as saucers.
Devon nodded and went on. “Yeah and then he went all ‘ooh midterms, ahh finals! I pulled an all-nighter last night.’ That fucking dude couldn’t get his damn head away from those text books! But of course he still played the guitar, that’s the one and only fucking thing he can’t seem to give up.”
“I’ve never known someone quite like him.” Defne said, interrupting. “Playing the guitar is truly a passion for him. I mean I like playing the guitar, too. It works like therapy for me. Feeling the strings under my fingers and hearing the sounds coming from the amp help empty my mind. But for him, it’s something unstoppable. Something that comes from deep within him, you know? Something that has always been there in the first place. Sometimes when I’m watching him while he’s playing, I just can’t imagine him without it. It’s like it has always been Zack and his guitar…”
“I seriously think he was born with that thing strapped to his body” Devon muttered. They all chuckled at that.
Gerard looked over to where Zack and Ray sat. His friends’ words about Zack had reminded the lead singer of another particular guitarist who happened to be sitting next to the other one. He smiled.
“He sounds like Toro” he said, his smile growing larger as he saw the two guitarists laugh at something together. “I’ve got this feeling that those two are gonna get along really well.”
Frank looked at where his friend was staring and giggled. “They look pretty cozy to me already.” he said.
“I think someone is finally gonna understand Ray fully. I mean, Frank tries his best but they both have really different approaches to guitar.” Mikey commented.
Frank stopped giggling and frowned. “I’m telling you, the man’s a genius! It’s not that easy to get what’s on his mind…”
Gerard laughed, throwing his head back and hugged his friend. “Oh, we know that Frankie. You try , that’s what really counts. And we all love you for it!” he said grinning from ear to ear. His perfect little teeth were on display for the world to see.
Defne couldn’t help but gaze at the two as a tiny smiled tugged at her lips. They looked truly adorable. Frank, so little and cute, pushed into his friend’s torso, his arms wrapped around the singer’s waist. And Gerard, flashing those little white teeth, with his arm around the younger man’s shoulders, his head on top of the others’, their jet-black hair mingling with each other. A girl had the right to stare dumbfounded at the sight of such beauty.
The two broke up from their hug and encouraged Devon to go on.
The bassist continued. “Okay, so, one day he called me and said that he met an amazing girl at this party thing… Apparently, she got drunk and sang a song and he was thrilled.”
Defne blushed furiously. “You never told me that!” she exclaimed.
Devon looked at her indifferently and replied. “You never asked…”
She huffed and tossed her head to get her bangs away from her face. “Come on, Devon, that’s cheesy!”
“But it’s true.” the bassist said, smirking.
Mikey looked at the two. He was intrigued. “So, that drunk singing girl was Defne?” he asked, hoping to give them the clue to continue.
“Well, yeah. Zack soon discovered that he and Defne here, were mostly in the same post-graduate classes –”
“Post-graduate? At Stanford? Woow! We’ve got too many well-educated people, here.” Gerard said. He was thrilled. She looked younger,she couldn’t possibly have finished post-graduate studies could she?
Defne blushed again and smiled nervously. “Yeah, but the process of getting well-educated in a subject you don’t intend to use in future life can be really boring.”
“Why? What did you study?” Gerard asked, curious.
“I majored in Electrical-Electronical Engineering back in Turkey and I was accepted to Stanford later on. I completed my MS degree there… I’m truly happy it’s all over, now.”
Frank’s eyes had once again gotten huge; his mouth was hanging open slightly. “Just how old are you?” he asked, amazed.
She chuckled. Gerard couldn’t help but think he started to like it when she did that.
“I’m gonna be 24 on July 7.” she answered.
“You look younger.” Gerard said. He was thinking she had such an innocent face.
“And you don’t?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
He cracked a grin. “Well, ummm, I guess we all look a little younger than we are… And I can’t believe you’re an engineer!”
Devon laughed at his shocked expression and joked. “She doesn’t look like one, does she? I’m always telling her, she chose the wrong profession. She should have become a fucking nurse!” He earned a smack on the head for that one. But still, he continued. “She would have slaughtered all the poor patients…”
“Maybe not all the patients but I would definitely slaughter a jackass like you!” she said heatedly.
Mikey, Frank and Gerard let the two bicker for some time, sipping their drinks and enjoying themselves.
When they finally calmed down, Mikey, defeated by his curiosity again, changed the subject.
“So, Defne, you’re from Turkey, huh?”
She nodded distractedly. She was thinking whether it would make a difference for the guys if she were American or Turkish or anything. But when she looked into Mikey’s dark eyes, she spotted the almost childish curiosity in them and smiled despite herself. They weren’t fucking racists.
“Wow… Your speech is so fluent, I mean… y-you don’t even have an accent or anything.” Mikey muttered. He had suddenly been struck by a wave of shyness.
She smiled warmly at him. “I’ve been living here for nearly three years and back at home I learnt English when I was pretty young so… I guess it’s like second nature to me.”
The others all nodded in agreement.
Frank shifted in his seat and grinned suddenly. “You know, we’ve still haven’t heard the story of Soul Purpose. Somebody always seems to interrupt or change the topic!” he said.
Defne smiled at that. “Yeah… I also think it’s because Devon can’t hold people’s full attention on himself for long. He just seems to lack that pretty skill… Actually, he reminds me of one of my Physics teachers at high school.” she said, her smile turning to a grin.
The bassist just rolled his eyes this time and gestured for her to tell the tale herself.
She cleared her throat – in order to make them pay attention – and started from where he left.
“Hmmm… so I met Zack and we soon became friends. Actually he was my only close friend. And one day he told me about this band idea he had. I was really depressed then and it seemed like a hell of an idea! I was in a band in college; but of course we broke apart after graduation, everyone went their own way…And when Zack voiced the band idea, I realized I was waiting for an opportunity like that since Inside Therapy broke apart. I was yearning to be able to escape from reality and do what I wanted to do for real. So, Devon here came along on Zack’s call, dragging Matt with him. The original thought was for me to play the guitar and sing at the same time. And I could do that, I’d done that before but it’s hard… to really sink in to the song or really feel the instrument in your hands if you’re trying to do the two at the same time.” She paused, her eyes darted of to wander around the crowded club.
Gerard chose that moment to talk, smiling. “That’s how I felt, too. I wanted to sing and move to the music as I liked but it was hard trying to do it at the same time with playing the guitar… Besides, I’m a shitty guitar player. Ray has admitted it, too, that I’m not good enough to play live…”
“To be honest, I sometimes fucked up the rhythm, too…” Defne said. “But I just couldn’t help it with some songs… It’s so hard.”
Gerard nodded frantically. “Basically, it fucks up your liberty on stage.” he said.
She smiled at him, her head cocked to one side, as if her thoughts were elsewhere. He let out an unintentional little sigh. She was charming with that cute smile of hers. Her cheeks looking so soft and her hair gracing her elegant features.
She was staring at him again, she could feel it. She just couldn’t help but shake herself out of it. He had such an angelic smile… He looked so sincere, the beauty of his mind, his soul reflected upon his face like that. Somehow, she noticed his eyes were locked on her face. Was he staring at her intensely, or what?
She shook her head slightly and the movement reminded Gerard of a little bird shaking itself to settle its feathers. She started talking, again.
“Luckily Chris came and joined us. So now, the world doesn’t have to hear me try to sing whilst playing the guitar.”
Frank raised his perfectly shaped eyebrows and winked at her. “I’m sure you’re not that bad.” he said. “So, who came up with the name? It’s pretty cool.”
Defne and Devon looked at each other, then they looked at the other members of their band, who were still happily chatting, they looked at Frank and looked at each other once again.
“Hey, what’s going on?” asked Gerard playfully.
Defne stared at her hands wrapped around her glass and grinned. “It’s stupid, really… How we came up with the name…” She raised her eyes and looked at the members of MCR.
“So, umm, one night we were all watching Angel on TV.” she began. Frank started giggling like a girl. She looked at him for a moment and shook her head. “And it was this crazy episode where Angel kept seeing crazy dreams and was rescued by Spike. It was funny, really… So I looked up for the episode on the internet and it was called ‘Soul Purpose’…” she said.
“And it occurred to all of us that it sounded so damn good.” Devon said.
“Yeah… and the meaning behind it… it was perfect for us.” Defne said. “I mean, really, I feel like this band is my purpose, this music is what kept me going…”
Gerard understood her completely.
They sat in peaceful silence for a few moments until Bob, Matt and Chris walked up to their side. Bob looked way too happy.
“Yo guys! Matt and Chris here say they don’t have a bus but they’re going to buy one, soon.” he said winking at them. Frank’s eyes immediately lit up and he squealed. Gerard and Mikey laughed at him.
“So I told them about the baby we were looking at earlier today.” Bob continued.
Devon shook his head confusedly. “What?” he asked. He had voiced Defne’s very own thoughts.
Frank, since he was the one to discover the bus in the beginning, thought it was convenient for himself to explain the subject. His whole face was a portrait of childish glee as he started explaining. He looked like a kid with lots of ice cream on a hot summer day.
“Sometime ago I found this unbelievable thing on the internet. It’s still classified as a bus but it’s definitely more than just that. I showed it to the guys today…” he began, excitedly. And then he went on and on about how big it was, how practical it was, how big it was again and how much fun they were gonna have with it.
“But there’s this tiny teensy little problem.” Gerard interrupted.
Frank nodded. “Since it has like 12 bunks, we don’t really think we can persuade Brian to buy it for us. So we thought, if you don’t mind the company, we could ride in the same bus – the bus being that gigantic fun-center I’ve told you about.”
“Your friends have already agreed.” said Bob with a triumphant smile on his face, gesturing towards Matt and Chris.
Gerard looked expectantly at the dark haired girl before him. He really wanted to hear the agreeing tone in her voice. He wanted to spend more time with her, to know everything about her. He wanted to see her in the morning when she woke up.
“So what do you say?” he asked, taking a deep breath.
“Hell, yeah!” exclaimed Devon, punching the air above his face with his fist. Then something occurred to him and he looked back at Defne. She seemed to be thinking.
“Of course, if Deff doesn’t mind living with 5 extra guys, that is.” he said, the excited tone disappearing from his voice slowly.
She looked up and stared at everyone with huge eyes.
Mikey smiled at her. “You scared the poor girl! Look at her face, it’s too much for her.”
She slowly started shaking her head. Gerard’s heart sank. His shoulders slumped. She didn’t want…
“I don’t mind really” she began “I mean, I spent my college years with only one female friend – the rest were all guys. Statistically, we had 6 guys for every single girl… And I spent a year with these dirty guys in a stinky van full of crap.” She bit her lip.
“But, are you guys really okay with this?” she asked.
They all nodded their heads. Frank had started to bounce up and down on his seat, again.
“What about Ray?” she asked again.
“We bribed him with a room he could turn into a studio.” said Mikey.
Defne couldn’t help but grin. “Umm, I guess Zack would be okay, too…”
“So?” Gerard asked, his hopes up.
“Yeah… Yeah I’m okay with it.” she said, smiling.
Her mind had finally registered what touring in the same bus with MCR meant. It was… It was perfect. She couldn’t wait to see the sleepy Gerard with morning hair, rubbing his eyes to clear the sleep out of them. Oh, this could be fun!
Frank literally stood and started jumping up and down. “This is gonna be soo much fun!” he yelled.
She watched him in amazement.
“But I won’t cook for you!” she shouted so that all of them could hear her.
They all looked at her – even Zack and Ray, who had joined them recently, curious to know what was happening – and broke into a giant fit of laughter and giggles.
When Defne was finally able to recover, she sat back and a pair of intense hazel eyes locked with hers. She felt as if she was falling…
And Gerard smiled at her.
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