Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > the fact of the matter it that is just a matter of time

Head on Collision

by natzlovesyou 2 reviews


Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: Gerard Way - Published: 2007-12-29 - Updated: 2007-12-29 - 1174 words

Chapter 34

“Gabe…come on, let’s go home…” I heard someone murmured in my ear. I opened one eye and saw my father staring back at me.
“I’m okay” I turned to my side to see an obviously not okay Gerard.
“I’ll stay, it’s no problem…”I muttered, placing my hand on his lap. I felt him shudder at my touch and I retrieved my hand slightly.
“Really, I’m okay” He said, looking away from me. His mom held him closer and I could tell by the way Mikey cuddled nearer that they were in a vulnerable position. The Ways were strong; they weren’t ashamed to show their weakness, they were just not too keen on spreading it to the others around them. I understood by Donna’s nod that it wasn’t like Gerard didn’t need me; he just needed some time alone. I kissed his forehead, and gave Donna and Mikey a small hug before leaving the hospital.
“The funeral will be tomorrow…” Dad commented as we drove back.
“I tried to convince Donna to leave me in charge. I’m sure Elena, bless her soul, wouldn’t want Donna to fuss over such things in this circumstances, but the stubborn thing wouldn’t let me help. She said she could handle it…”
I understood that too. I mean, it was true someone dear and close passed away but that didn’t mean Donna was handicapped and couldn’t do anything for herself. It was just the way Donna worked.
If it were me, I would be crying my guts out and barely living, more like a zombie state. I remember that was exactly how I had been on the time Mom died…Before the thoughts became too unbearable I shook them away with a sway of my head.
Instead I stared out the window to the snow-covered pines, sidewalk and street. I loved how everything looked: so peaceful, and beautiful… The ride home was silent from that moment on and I thanked that. I didn’t want to think for responses, I didn’t want to listen to dad’s and grandpa’s sulky and hurt tones of voice.

The funeral was a simple and beautiful.
Donna stood in between her sons, with her curly bleached hair tucked neatly in a small black hat with a veil. Her chubby figure looked almost slim in a two piece black dress that fell to her knees. Her shoulders were wrapped in the black coat I had gotten her for Christmas. Her expression was solemn with her red lips in a thin line. Mikes stood on her left side, tall and gangly, clutching her arm in a pair of decent-looking black pants and a long-sleeved button-up shirt with a long, grey, unbuttoned coat over it. His hair was combed neatly and his glasses were, oddly enough, not on the tip of his nose. Gerard stood slouched on his mother’s right, with an outfit similar to his brother’s only that his coat was not so long and instead of grey it was a deep shade of green that made his eyes stand out. His hair was a bit wet and hanging loosely on his shoulders.
When the father started the lecture and it was time for him to sing he stopped and nodded to Gerard who, for the first time since he received the news about Elena, stood tall and walked towards the coffin, placing a hand upon it as the piano that accompanied him started. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, his vocal chords producing a beautifully sad sound: mourning was imprinted so thickly in that otherwise random gospel that you could feel how everyone sank a little lower. The gospel was so powerful everyone sort of tilted their heads down.
I stood by Frank, Ray, Bob, Alicia and, to my surprise, Kamz, all sober and neatly dressed in dark, unrevealing clothes on the row that followed Donna’s. The cemetery was packed and I thought I even saw Don’s face in the crowd.
And then Gerard’s gospel was over and he returned to his post by his mother’s side. The coffin had already began its descend and everyone had thrown flowers on top of it. Before the crowd started dissolving Gerard untangled his arm from his mother and our glances met. He went towards me and wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my exposed neck. I kissed one side of his head let him cry. He took my hand and we walked away from the crowd, to a bench nearby. We sat there in silence, his eyes wandering in the distance; mine focused on the floral arrangements that were on top of Elena’s freshly covered grave.
“It’s all going to be okay, love” I reassured him, squeezing his hand slightly.
He nodded dismissively and we sat there long enough for my limbs to go numb and my teeth to start chattering.
“Honey I think we should go now…It’s cold…we’re going to freeze to death” I stood up and held out my hand and he took it rather forcefully. “We can come back tomorrow…” I proposed.
“No” He replied boldly. “It’s okay…I won’t come back”
I furrowed my brow as we walked to the car but decided to let it go for today. Some time next week, or on a few months, when the pain had gone away I’d convince him to go and visit his Nonna…/He just needed to heal, that was all/, I told myself as I went to my car and the engine roared to life. Gerard fumbled with the heater as we drove out of the cemetery.
“You want to go to your house?” I asked him. He shook his head.
“Are you hungry?”
He turned around with a shadow of a smile, “Yeahh. Let’s go for a Subway”
“Sure thing”
I stole a glance at him as I drove to the nearest Subway and saw him busying himself with a little orange container that he didn’t want me to see. I ignored it and turned away, listening for the gulp as he swallowed the, I hoped, sole pill down.
“You shouldn’t swallow pills without water” I couldn’t restrain myself from saying. He stared at his feet guiltily and didn’t pronounce another syllable.

Okay, this is how the last chapter should have had ended. I was going to write the next one but my inspiration flew away from me like a pigeon and collided on a windshield. I think a llama ate started eating it afterwards…but I didn’t have a donkey to shoo it away so…Now I have to wait for the llama to poop it out. How fast are llamas ‘digesting’ cycle? I have no idea…
I’ll update when Cindy gives me my inspiration back and it stops stinking so much…
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