Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > London beckoned songs about lovers and this was the best I could do.
chapter Six
He was crying. Just sitting in the passenger seat crying. I sat there awkwardly, having no idea what to do. I had never been able to handle my own emotions, much less anyone else’s. What was I supposed to do?
I turn my head briefly, taking in his profile. The face that had seemed so condescending and arrogant earlier now looked vulnerable, almost childlike. I had no idea what to make of this man, who just decides to leave his chart-topping band and get into a car with a passing stranger.
“What’s up?” I asked, trying to be both sympathetic and unconcerned at the same time. It didn’t work, and he didn’t buy it either.
“Why the hell do you care?” He asked angrily. His glare burned my face, and I took my eyes of the road to return my own glare.
“I don’t care, I don’t care about you, your life, and whatever else. But I figured that since we’re kind of living together at the moment I should at least seem like I did. But if I’m to much trouble for you, Mr. Rockstar, then I’d be happy to pull over and let you out.”
Ryan sighed, turning his body so he was facing out the window, pressing his forehead against the glass. After a few minutes he spoke. “I’m sorry. I snapped.”
That was it. I looked at him for a few seconds before deciding that it was the only response I was going to get. I sighed, resting my left hand on the wheel and my right on the gear shift. I noticed vaguely that it was getting dark.
“We might want to find a place to sleep tonight, unless you fancy the idea of sleeping in the back of my car.” I said turning to Ryan. He glanced over at me, before nodding.
He turned his body again, so he was sitting almost sideways in the seat, cross-legged. I got the impression he was studying me, his face still soft. If I hadn’t witnessed this change in him myself, I wouldn’t believe he was the same person.
“I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours.” He said quietly. I shot him another look, but my curiosity peaked. I wanted to know more about him, if not simply for safety’s sake.
“Seems fair.” I muttered. “I don’t have much to tell, though. I just got sick of living at home and sick of my family. So I left.”
Ryan’s eyebrows knitted together in a look of confusion. “Your 18, why are you still living at home?”
I glanced over at him again. “I wasn’t aloud to move out. My 20-year-old brother was still living at home, so why should I leave? Or that’s what my mother thought anyways.” I couldn’t keep the edge of bitterness out of my voice and Ryan picked up on it.
“I take it that you and your mother don’t get along very well?” He asked.
I wondered briefly why he was so interested, but ignored it. “She expects me to be something I’m not. She expects me to be Kevin...” My voice trailed away.
We were silent for a little while, Ryan still studying me. I spotted an exit off the highway and took it, my eyes scanning for a hotel we could stay at.
“So, your turn.” I said, looking over at Ryan. He shot me looked confused look, and oddly I thought it was cute. Woh, there Jonas, where’d that come from. “ You where gonna tell me your story.” I muttered weakly. He coc.ked his head to the side, thinking, and again I couldn’t help notice how cute he looked with the street lights falling across his face. What was up with me tonight?
“I’m not sure where to start,” he admitted, looking out the window again. “ Honestly, I’m not sure what my story is. I broke up with my girlfriend and my would-be boyfriend.” Boyfriend? Okay, I was cool with that. “I never bothered to tell my best friend that he was my best friend until after I left, and basically I’m running away.”
I looked over at him, again lost in an awkward silence. I didn’t know what to say, and Ryan wasn’t helping me any. He was staring out the window again, apparently lost in thought. I sighed, giving up.
I spotted the entrance to small hotel on my left and turn the car into the lot. Ryan practically leapt out of the car the second it was stopped, pulling a cigarette out of the pack he kept in his pocket. I rolled my eyes, he smoked too much. I wondered briefly why that bothered me, before dismissing it as my dislike of smoking in general.
I climbed out of the car, looking at the hotel in front of me. It looked ratty and run down, paint peeling off the walls and the glass on the windows was dirty. But chances where that it would be pretty cheap and we where exactly rolling in money.
“Is this okay with you?” I asked, turning to face Ryan.
He shrugged. “I’ve slept in worse places, trust me.” We walked into the main lobby, looking around. An old sofa sat in the middle of the room on top of a threadbare carpet. On the far side of the room, behind a creaky looking wooden desk, sat a stout balding.
I walked quickly over to the desk, Ryan trailing behind me at a leisurely pace. “I need a room for two.” I said as Ryan finally caught up with me, taking a place at my side.
The balding man sneered. “One bed or two, love?” he asked, his eyes gauging the distance between Ryan and me.
“Two.” I said shortly, glaring at the man. I couldn’t help but notice how ever that a small smirk had appeared on Ryan’s face. I ignored it.
After taking the room key and paying, we set off to find our room. It was on the second floor, facing out onto the highway. Like the lobby, the carpet was threadbare, then sheets and blanks on the beds thin and old. I could tell it’d be a cold night.
Since neither Ryan nor I had any spare clothes not to mention pajamas, we just fell back onto the beds. I didn’t realize how tiered I was until my head it the pillow. Suddenly I felt like I hadn’t slept in days. We lay there in silence for so long I was sure Ryan had fallen asleep. I was wrong.
“Hey Joe?” He asked, sitting up.
“What?” I asked sitting up as well. There was so little space between our beds in the small room that we where barely a foot apart.
“Have you ever kissed a guy?” He asked me, coc.king his head to the side.
I was taken aback. I was not expecting that question. “No...” I said hesitantly. “I haven’t kissed a girl in about a year, though.” I confessed. I didn’t know why I was telling him that, but something in his face made me feel like I should.
He sat in silence for a minute before speaking again. “Can I kiss you, Joe?”
I looked up at him, startled. But I had to admit, I was curious. Just to see what it felt like, to see if there was a difference. “I guess so.” I whispered in response, so quiet that I was sure he wouldn’t hear me. He did.
He leaned forward ever so slightly, so we where inches apart. His breath danced on my lips and his eyes locked with mine. Slowly, giving me time to pull away, he closed the distance. I don’t know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it.
Ryan’s lips where soft and warm against mine, be powerful in a way no girl’s ever had been. He kiss me softly but forcefully, demanding nothing yet taking anything I gave him. He pulled away rather quickly, before I really had time to respond to him.
“Good night Joe.” He whispered before laying down and rolling over. I stared at his back in the dark, completely and utterly confused. I sank back onto my own bed, trying and failing to make sense of the thoughts swirling around in my mind.
He was crying. Just sitting in the passenger seat crying. I sat there awkwardly, having no idea what to do. I had never been able to handle my own emotions, much less anyone else’s. What was I supposed to do?
I turn my head briefly, taking in his profile. The face that had seemed so condescending and arrogant earlier now looked vulnerable, almost childlike. I had no idea what to make of this man, who just decides to leave his chart-topping band and get into a car with a passing stranger.
“What’s up?” I asked, trying to be both sympathetic and unconcerned at the same time. It didn’t work, and he didn’t buy it either.
“Why the hell do you care?” He asked angrily. His glare burned my face, and I took my eyes of the road to return my own glare.
“I don’t care, I don’t care about you, your life, and whatever else. But I figured that since we’re kind of living together at the moment I should at least seem like I did. But if I’m to much trouble for you, Mr. Rockstar, then I’d be happy to pull over and let you out.”
Ryan sighed, turning his body so he was facing out the window, pressing his forehead against the glass. After a few minutes he spoke. “I’m sorry. I snapped.”
That was it. I looked at him for a few seconds before deciding that it was the only response I was going to get. I sighed, resting my left hand on the wheel and my right on the gear shift. I noticed vaguely that it was getting dark.
“We might want to find a place to sleep tonight, unless you fancy the idea of sleeping in the back of my car.” I said turning to Ryan. He glanced over at me, before nodding.
He turned his body again, so he was sitting almost sideways in the seat, cross-legged. I got the impression he was studying me, his face still soft. If I hadn’t witnessed this change in him myself, I wouldn’t believe he was the same person.
“I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours.” He said quietly. I shot him another look, but my curiosity peaked. I wanted to know more about him, if not simply for safety’s sake.
“Seems fair.” I muttered. “I don’t have much to tell, though. I just got sick of living at home and sick of my family. So I left.”
Ryan’s eyebrows knitted together in a look of confusion. “Your 18, why are you still living at home?”
I glanced over at him again. “I wasn’t aloud to move out. My 20-year-old brother was still living at home, so why should I leave? Or that’s what my mother thought anyways.” I couldn’t keep the edge of bitterness out of my voice and Ryan picked up on it.
“I take it that you and your mother don’t get along very well?” He asked.
I wondered briefly why he was so interested, but ignored it. “She expects me to be something I’m not. She expects me to be Kevin...” My voice trailed away.
We were silent for a little while, Ryan still studying me. I spotted an exit off the highway and took it, my eyes scanning for a hotel we could stay at.
“So, your turn.” I said, looking over at Ryan. He shot me looked confused look, and oddly I thought it was cute. Woh, there Jonas, where’d that come from. “ You where gonna tell me your story.” I muttered weakly. He coc.ked his head to the side, thinking, and again I couldn’t help notice how cute he looked with the street lights falling across his face. What was up with me tonight?
“I’m not sure where to start,” he admitted, looking out the window again. “ Honestly, I’m not sure what my story is. I broke up with my girlfriend and my would-be boyfriend.” Boyfriend? Okay, I was cool with that. “I never bothered to tell my best friend that he was my best friend until after I left, and basically I’m running away.”
I looked over at him, again lost in an awkward silence. I didn’t know what to say, and Ryan wasn’t helping me any. He was staring out the window again, apparently lost in thought. I sighed, giving up.
I spotted the entrance to small hotel on my left and turn the car into the lot. Ryan practically leapt out of the car the second it was stopped, pulling a cigarette out of the pack he kept in his pocket. I rolled my eyes, he smoked too much. I wondered briefly why that bothered me, before dismissing it as my dislike of smoking in general.
I climbed out of the car, looking at the hotel in front of me. It looked ratty and run down, paint peeling off the walls and the glass on the windows was dirty. But chances where that it would be pretty cheap and we where exactly rolling in money.
“Is this okay with you?” I asked, turning to face Ryan.
He shrugged. “I’ve slept in worse places, trust me.” We walked into the main lobby, looking around. An old sofa sat in the middle of the room on top of a threadbare carpet. On the far side of the room, behind a creaky looking wooden desk, sat a stout balding.
I walked quickly over to the desk, Ryan trailing behind me at a leisurely pace. “I need a room for two.” I said as Ryan finally caught up with me, taking a place at my side.
The balding man sneered. “One bed or two, love?” he asked, his eyes gauging the distance between Ryan and me.
“Two.” I said shortly, glaring at the man. I couldn’t help but notice how ever that a small smirk had appeared on Ryan’s face. I ignored it.
After taking the room key and paying, we set off to find our room. It was on the second floor, facing out onto the highway. Like the lobby, the carpet was threadbare, then sheets and blanks on the beds thin and old. I could tell it’d be a cold night.
Since neither Ryan nor I had any spare clothes not to mention pajamas, we just fell back onto the beds. I didn’t realize how tiered I was until my head it the pillow. Suddenly I felt like I hadn’t slept in days. We lay there in silence for so long I was sure Ryan had fallen asleep. I was wrong.
“Hey Joe?” He asked, sitting up.
“What?” I asked sitting up as well. There was so little space between our beds in the small room that we where barely a foot apart.
“Have you ever kissed a guy?” He asked me, coc.king his head to the side.
I was taken aback. I was not expecting that question. “No...” I said hesitantly. “I haven’t kissed a girl in about a year, though.” I confessed. I didn’t know why I was telling him that, but something in his face made me feel like I should.
He sat in silence for a minute before speaking again. “Can I kiss you, Joe?”
I looked up at him, startled. But I had to admit, I was curious. Just to see what it felt like, to see if there was a difference. “I guess so.” I whispered in response, so quiet that I was sure he wouldn’t hear me. He did.
He leaned forward ever so slightly, so we where inches apart. His breath danced on my lips and his eyes locked with mine. Slowly, giving me time to pull away, he closed the distance. I don’t know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it.
Ryan’s lips where soft and warm against mine, be powerful in a way no girl’s ever had been. He kiss me softly but forcefully, demanding nothing yet taking anything I gave him. He pulled away rather quickly, before I really had time to respond to him.
“Good night Joe.” He whispered before laying down and rolling over. I stared at his back in the dark, completely and utterly confused. I sank back onto my own bed, trying and failing to make sense of the thoughts swirling around in my mind.
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