Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > To The End
Wow, I can’t believe I let close to three months go by without updating this. Damn, I’m so sorry guys and gals (probably mostly if not all gals Haha) I’ve just been running around a lot doing a lot of things and also because every time I go to write I get like way lazy and don’t do it. I love this story and you guys but I suffer from L-A-Z-Y disease. Anyways, I’ll try not to take so long next time, read and enjoy.
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-back to Gerard’s POV-
It had been an entire Day and half of one and Frankie err, Frank was still sitting annoyingly enough in that same chair. He had only moved once, and that was to pee. I could tell he hadn’t slept because his eyes were all red, mostly from continuously trying to rub the sleep out of them. The sand man either hadn’t visited Frank, or he had and just got beaten to death when he tried.
He hadn’t eaten either, because the longest amount of time he was gone was about five minutes, and that was to pee, eating would have taken a lot longer than just five minutes and as much as I wanted to feel nothing but anger toward him… I was getting worried.
Despite my worry I still didn’t open my mouth, that would mean he wins and I wasnt about to give up that easily, not after what he did, abandoning me for that long. I couldn’t lie though, it was nice just to have him here and be able to see him again I did miss him.
I watched him usually through half lidded eyes when he thought I was sleeping and when I wasn’t, I just didn’t pay attention to him. The whole thing was childish yes, but we were to very stubborn people.
He hadn’t changed much, except for the fact that he had gotten a few more tattoos. He was still as gorgeous as ever and like it or not, I was still very in love with him. I had to give him props, I didn’t think he was actually gonna stay.
It had now been two days and a half and Frank still hadn’t move from that conviently placed chair. Another day without eating, another night without sleeping, he didn’t look to good, yet those green browns never took their gaze off of me. The only break I’d get from his so very penetrating eyes was when he blinked, or when I looked at him causing him to look away or the way he seemed to focus so intently sometimes on the floor.
He got up for another five minutes to use the restroom but only return to stare at me with those eyes again. They were killing me slowly and I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to hold out. They were so full of sadness and this genuine feeling of being truly sorry and sympathetic. His gaze wasn’t a creepy stare; it was more of a desperate longing one. They scanned my figure only to return to my also greenish eyes.
It was day three and the eyes of my once best friend, wished to be lover were stabbing at my soul through my very eyes. His usual bathroom break was already taken. I caught him almost dozing last night though he snapped out of it. It didn’t change the red rawness of them though, not to mention the obvious hunger he hadn’t yet quenched. One of the nurses gave him a water bottle thankfully when they came to check my wounds, though that was all he was accept.
I found it hard to be mad at him anymore; he was practically starving himself for me. I wanted so badly to just hug him and tell him everything was alright again, but then my nurse came in again. She told me that I could have died and that whoever made me do this to myself was insensitive and wrong and should be punished. I don’t know why but that just set something off in me and immediately I couldn’t stand him again. I know it was wrong but something Just came over me, I snapped and finally opened my mouth to him, but it was the wrong words that came out.
“Are you ever gonna leave me alone?” I snapped and the eyes that were currently counting the number of squares below them widened and look up at me with fear and even more sadness.
“I mean seriously, your practically starving yourself and for what? Because tomorrow morning when they discharge me, things won’t be any different Frank. You ignore me for an entire month I almost kill myself and then you think keeping yourself awake for a few days to stare at me is gonna make it any better? Well Frank, your wrong!” I blurted everything that ever made me mad out. I didn’t mean to, but I did and after taking in what I had said, those familiar eyes grew watery and he finally got out of the chair, and it wasn’t to pee.
“Fine…” Frank said looking at me now with not a longing hurt but anger, in his eyes and voice. “You really wanna know why I left for so long? Because I fucking fell in love with you Gerard Arthur Way and I didn’t want that to wreck our friendship and also because I was scared. I was scared to death that things would become awkward if you found out. I’ve never connected with anyone as much as I’ve connected with you and I’ve never had any sort of feelings for a guy like this but you made me feel important, like a person, like I actually meant something to someone in this world. I felt alive… I had a reason to/ be/ alive. But not anymore, you’ve made it quite clear that my reasoning is useless now. So there, are you happy now? You happy you have a reason to relate why I left for so long. I wanted to tell you when the time was right, but you forced it out in the most unromantic circumstance ever, but I’m not even upset about it anymore, you’re not the Gerard I knew…” And with Frank’s final words he walked out on me again, out of my life again, why did I have to blurt those things out.
He said he loved me, the one I’m in love with said he loved me. I had been dreaming to hear those words for quite some time now. It felt like the best and worst moment of my entire life. This whole time I had him completely wrong. I thought he’d hated me, I thought I’d never get to hear him say those words, and yet he did, but I never imagined it would be like this, it wasn’t how I had planned it would be, if it ever was to be. My dreams came true if only for a minute, why did I have to be so stupid.
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A comment would be nice…
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-back to Gerard’s POV-
It had been an entire Day and half of one and Frankie err, Frank was still sitting annoyingly enough in that same chair. He had only moved once, and that was to pee. I could tell he hadn’t slept because his eyes were all red, mostly from continuously trying to rub the sleep out of them. The sand man either hadn’t visited Frank, or he had and just got beaten to death when he tried.
He hadn’t eaten either, because the longest amount of time he was gone was about five minutes, and that was to pee, eating would have taken a lot longer than just five minutes and as much as I wanted to feel nothing but anger toward him… I was getting worried.
Despite my worry I still didn’t open my mouth, that would mean he wins and I wasnt about to give up that easily, not after what he did, abandoning me for that long. I couldn’t lie though, it was nice just to have him here and be able to see him again I did miss him.
I watched him usually through half lidded eyes when he thought I was sleeping and when I wasn’t, I just didn’t pay attention to him. The whole thing was childish yes, but we were to very stubborn people.
He hadn’t changed much, except for the fact that he had gotten a few more tattoos. He was still as gorgeous as ever and like it or not, I was still very in love with him. I had to give him props, I didn’t think he was actually gonna stay.
It had now been two days and a half and Frank still hadn’t move from that conviently placed chair. Another day without eating, another night without sleeping, he didn’t look to good, yet those green browns never took their gaze off of me. The only break I’d get from his so very penetrating eyes was when he blinked, or when I looked at him causing him to look away or the way he seemed to focus so intently sometimes on the floor.
He got up for another five minutes to use the restroom but only return to stare at me with those eyes again. They were killing me slowly and I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to hold out. They were so full of sadness and this genuine feeling of being truly sorry and sympathetic. His gaze wasn’t a creepy stare; it was more of a desperate longing one. They scanned my figure only to return to my also greenish eyes.
It was day three and the eyes of my once best friend, wished to be lover were stabbing at my soul through my very eyes. His usual bathroom break was already taken. I caught him almost dozing last night though he snapped out of it. It didn’t change the red rawness of them though, not to mention the obvious hunger he hadn’t yet quenched. One of the nurses gave him a water bottle thankfully when they came to check my wounds, though that was all he was accept.
I found it hard to be mad at him anymore; he was practically starving himself for me. I wanted so badly to just hug him and tell him everything was alright again, but then my nurse came in again. She told me that I could have died and that whoever made me do this to myself was insensitive and wrong and should be punished. I don’t know why but that just set something off in me and immediately I couldn’t stand him again. I know it was wrong but something Just came over me, I snapped and finally opened my mouth to him, but it was the wrong words that came out.
“Are you ever gonna leave me alone?” I snapped and the eyes that were currently counting the number of squares below them widened and look up at me with fear and even more sadness.
“I mean seriously, your practically starving yourself and for what? Because tomorrow morning when they discharge me, things won’t be any different Frank. You ignore me for an entire month I almost kill myself and then you think keeping yourself awake for a few days to stare at me is gonna make it any better? Well Frank, your wrong!” I blurted everything that ever made me mad out. I didn’t mean to, but I did and after taking in what I had said, those familiar eyes grew watery and he finally got out of the chair, and it wasn’t to pee.
“Fine…” Frank said looking at me now with not a longing hurt but anger, in his eyes and voice. “You really wanna know why I left for so long? Because I fucking fell in love with you Gerard Arthur Way and I didn’t want that to wreck our friendship and also because I was scared. I was scared to death that things would become awkward if you found out. I’ve never connected with anyone as much as I’ve connected with you and I’ve never had any sort of feelings for a guy like this but you made me feel important, like a person, like I actually meant something to someone in this world. I felt alive… I had a reason to/ be/ alive. But not anymore, you’ve made it quite clear that my reasoning is useless now. So there, are you happy now? You happy you have a reason to relate why I left for so long. I wanted to tell you when the time was right, but you forced it out in the most unromantic circumstance ever, but I’m not even upset about it anymore, you’re not the Gerard I knew…” And with Frank’s final words he walked out on me again, out of my life again, why did I have to blurt those things out.
He said he loved me, the one I’m in love with said he loved me. I had been dreaming to hear those words for quite some time now. It felt like the best and worst moment of my entire life. This whole time I had him completely wrong. I thought he’d hated me, I thought I’d never get to hear him say those words, and yet he did, but I never imagined it would be like this, it wasn’t how I had planned it would be, if it ever was to be. My dreams came true if only for a minute, why did I have to be so stupid.
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A comment would be nice…
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