Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > To The End
(Heeeyyyyy so another month and I’ve got another chapter. Wooo lol. I know you all probably totally hate me again but that’s okay, because this chapter I’ve totally made it up to all of you. Its extra long, (it was four pages on word) aaannddd drum roll please… thank you Bob, (I know bad joke lol). There is finally the first bit of Frerard in this chapter. Doesn’t that make everyone like me a little more again? Hah. Anyways go read. I worked hard on this one, I think it’s my best yet. Only for you guys.)
Last night had been a lonely one… It was the first time in a long time that I was alone in the hospital room, and I hardly slept a wink. I thought on a lot of things, about how I never expected Frank to keep true to his word and stay as long as he did, about how much of an idiot I was for losing him again, about those three mind numbing words he spoke to me before he left with a wounded heart, about walking out of here alone when I would have been walking out of here with the love of my life, and about what I’d do when I got out of this shit hole.
“Mr. Way, Your free to go, your body is pretty regulated and you’re stable enough now to take care of yourself at home. Is someone coming to pick you up?” The overly polite nurse smiled her big fake smile at me. Hah, I wish. That’s something I didn’t think about, I was too busy thinking about how I let the person of my dreams go because of how much of a stubborn asshole I was. I mean, we both had valid points right, it’s not like I was completely… -“Mr. Way? Hello?” Oh shit, is she still talking? I guess I was spacing off again. “Oh uhm… ya hopefully…” She looked at me awkwardly but only smiled again right after wards. “Well, that could be a problem huh? I hope that all gets worked out for you… Anyway you’re free to go.” That was obviously code for, oh well that’s your problem, bye. It’s so hard to found real compassion these days. The nurse that I would have thought was cute had I not been turned completely around by a 5’2 reformed bad boy from Bellville high, left the room.
Being bed ridden for so long kinda fucked me up, so when I got out of that stupid lumpy uncomfortable bed my legs felt shaky. I made my way up to the front desk, and a very kind looking black woman with the largest smile possible looked up at me holding a clip bored and a folder with my name on it.
“So Gerard, do you have a ride home honey?” Fuck I forgot about that problem again. I’m such a fucking dumbass; I just ruined everything for myself, no ride, no potential love life, nothing. Oh well, I guess I deserve it, every bit of it. “Uhm… I kinda forgot about that, n-no… heh…” I tried smiling politely but was cursing myself to hell in my mind.
“What about that boy that stayed in your room for a while? He seemed so determined to walk out of here with ya.” As if my heart needed anymore damage. “Oh… ya… him…” I looked down in defeat. This would officially haunt me forever.
“What’s wrong honey? You’re lookin pretty down if I do say so myself.” I just shrugged. “Ya… sometimes things you don’t expect turn out exactly opposite of how you always wanted them to.” The lady shrugged at me and then smiled again. “True… but sometimes things you don’t expect turn out exactly how you want them to, you just have to work harder to enjoy it, but you can’t let it just pass you on by. Not everything falls right in your lap Honey.” She was right, what she said made a lot of sense and suddenly it clicked in my head. I had to go get Frank back.
“You know… your right…” I smiled to her, and she smiled back.
“I know.” She replied. I honestly think she was the only sincerely nice, caring person in there.
Thankfully, my amazing Grandma, who didn’t at all agree with my parents going away all summer and is more of a mother to me then my actual mother, was home and reachable so I gave her a call and had a ride home.
As I walked out to meet her in the lobby I wasn’t accompanied by the boy who promised to be here when I walked out of this place. It stung, bad, but that’s because I was the one who told him not to.
Not 15 minutes later she was there to get me hugging and kissing me and shouting “I was so worried” at me. Being my Parents as I already said had gone away for the summer, always chasing that ”big break” and never quite finding it, despite the many business trips they constantly went on, my Grandma hadn’t really known what we were up to, only that she got a call from the hospital saying I was discharged and ready to be picked up.
In the car she asked what happened and I answered her honestly. I told her everything; about the boy named Frank I met, about how I fell in love with him, and how that obviously makes me question my sexuality. About the fight and what it did to me, resulting in what it made me do to myself, and the three words he said before he walked out of my life again. And lastly how I planned to get him back and hoped I had her support in all this, which I knew I probably did. She supported everything I did/do. She and I were real close.
I was finally dropped off and it was good to see the house again. I continuously went over things I could say, or ways I could get Frank back, however that all came to a halt when I heard sobbing coming from upstairs, was Mikey crying? I ran to my door, our door, and just before I busted through it I heard Mikey’s voice trying to calm the sobbing. So it wasn’t him, then who? The door was barley open, just a crack left open for me to peek through. There I saw, conveniently enough, Frank sitting on the floor crying his pretty little eyes out.
“I told him I loved him and he let me go… He didn’t even say anything to try and stop me. Mikey he probably hates me right now! He’s probably disgusted! I’m disgusted with myself! How could I have said that and thought it would all work out. This isn’t the fucking movies! God I’m so fucking stupid!”
“Oh Frankie stop this. You need to calm down.”
“Why the hell did I fall in love with him? I’m not even gay and neither is he!” I heard him yell at the top of his lungs and then continued to shout another long string of profanities until his throat sounded raw and raspy. His tears poured out even faster it seemed, if possible, then before. My heart hurt for him. His voice got even more muffled which probably meant he stuck his head in a pillow or something. My heart was breaking hearing him cry. He thought his feelings weren’t returned If only he knew.
“I know for a fact that he feels the same way, he’s just too stubborn to admit it.”
“How do you know Mikey? How can you be so sure… the look he gave me wa-“ I cut him off mid sentence by opening the door and walking in. “Because Frankie, I told him I did. I have for a long time, I just didn’t wanna tell you because I was afraid of the same thing that had you scared. I know I should have said something but you left for so long and I got so angry and upset and, god I dunno Frank but honest I walked in here going over ways in my head to tell you this I’m just so glad you’re sitting on my bed room floor, because that makes it a whole lot easier.“ I smiled and through his tears he weakly but happily smiled back. Mikey said he was gonna give us some time alone and left the room. I sat on the floor next to him and for about five minutes there was extreme tension and an awkward silence that seemed to last a life time. Then finally I spoke again to break the ice.
“Frankie, I love you so much, really I do…” I said looking into those huge green brown eyes again for the first time in forever ago. He smiled a little bright this time and finally spoke. “Ya… well I hate you Gerard Way…” he said and at first I got extremely worried. Had I just made myself this vulnerable to him just for him to reject me? However I calmed when I noticed that wise ass smirk he often wore. “And why is that Frank Iero?” I replied. His grin grew. “Because you turned me gay…” he said and then pulled my face closer to his connecting our lips and closing whatever personal space we had. At first I was shocked and my eyes went wide, but then seeing his eyes closed and his face so relaxed, I relaxed to and melted into the kiss I had been waiting so long to receive. It started out really innocent at first, just lips touching lips, but after a minute it seemed Frank wanted to take things further, I didn’t complain. I felt his warm tongue gently graze over my bottom lip. It was a really wonderful feeling even being as nervous as I was. He seemed so calm and collected but I soon notice just how nervous he really was when his shaky hands came up to cup my cheeks. I thought it was extremely adorable and of course allowed him entry. As soon as he got his timid tongue inside my mouth he felt around. I felt him taste every little part of my hot mouth and once he came to know his way around well enough the timidness he had started to fade away. His tongue finally met mine and he messaged it slightly before I started to fight for dominance in my own mouth again. That’s when things got heated. He fought as well to keep his roaming abilities and eventually I found my way into his mouth. He moaned a little, it was real cute. I had to hold back from moaning myself. Just the thought of his tongue against mine made my head spin. It was the most amazing experience I think I’ve ever had thus far in my entire life. Everything was so new for us and awkwardly enough Frank was really nervous like he had never done anything like this before, when I knew he had.
As I may have stated several times already, Frank was the main crush and heartbreaker in my school and he wasn’t close to innocent sadly enough. It was a new girl every day. He never held onto them just had fun and moved on. Pondering on these thoughts made me really worried, was he going to do the same to me? Something told me otherwise just by the way he was kissing me, the way he seemed so inexperienced, so scared. I hushed my thoughts for the moment, as he started to take over my mouth again and decided I’d enjoy this and ask questions later.
I as well began to feel around in his mouth, my tongue moving over the smooth cold metal of his lip ring and then to the rest of his mouth. This went on for another few minutes until neither of us could breathe much longer, and we reluctantly pulled away. The minute it ended I immediately felt the loss of warmth and wanted it back so badly, though I wasnt gonna push anything.
We both sat there panting for a good few minutes until Frank was the one who broke the ice this time. “Wow… I think that was the most amazing kiss I’ve ever had.” He was out of breath but I could still hear the sincerity in his voice.
“That was the only kiss I’ve ever had….” I added making him laugh a bit. I was really happy but still the thought of him getting what he wanted and then leaving me nagged at my fuzzy numb brain. I had to say something…
“Uhm, hey Frankie, not to ruin the moment but uh… I kinda know about your reputation, and no offence but, I don’t want to be used Frank. Is this for real, or are you just waiting to get what you want so you can move on to the next person.” It all came out shaky and kinda jumbled but he still understood. I immediately regretted it when I saw the hurt look on his face.
“Gee…” he began, collected his thought on how to word it I guess and continued. “I know my rep is bad. I wouldn’t trust me if I were you either, and I can’t blame you. But honestly, I’ve never felt so worried and so vulnerable being intimate with someone like that before in my life. I really do love you. When my lips touched yours I got butterflies, I never get butterflies. There was something so special about kissing you and I never wanna lose that feeling for the rest of my life. So Gerard, would you maybe be with me? I want you to be my boyfriend. I’ve never had one before, it will be new and different but I can’t imagine being in love with anyone else ever again. Please say yes?” He smiled and his eyes pleaded with me.
Of course I would, but for some reason my brain locked up and I froze. I had been waiting to hear that for so long, that when I finally did, I couldn’t function. Gerard! Snap out of it! Say it god damnit! What kind of an idiot are you!? watched his eyes hopeful eyes began to fall to the floor in rejection and embarrassment. Finally my brain de fogged and I was able to speak again. I just hope it wasn’t already too late.
“Wait Frankie! Yes! Of course! I’d love to be yours, all yours. I love you Frank! I’m sorry I didn’t answer but I was so hung up on the fact that you’d actually wanna be with me that I guess my brain went into shock mode. “ I smiled encouragingly and he brightened up again.
“Yes! I’m so happy! I got so worried for a second!!” He exclaimed throwing his arms around me and hugging me so tight I almost couldn’t breathe anymore. For such a small person he sure was strong and I wasnt as skinny as him but I certainly wasn’t fat and I didn’t wanna break. He gave me a small kiss and was about to put his head on my lap when I stopped him looking at my cell for the time. Frank looked confused.
“Hey Frankie, is 8 o’ clock now. Wanna go watch the stars again like we used to? We only have like a month of summer left until school starts again.” He smiled widely at me and I took his hand as we went downstairs and out to the back to once again lay in the grass. Just like the familiar night I first realized I loved him he layed in my lap. However this time I could actually call him my lover.
“Hey Frankie…” I said after a few minutes.
“Ya Gee?”
“When was the first time you realized you loved me?”
“That night just like this one, when I layed in your lap and we locked eyes for the first time.”
I smiled wider then I thought could ever be possible and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. I loved being able to do that now whenever I wanted all my dreams had seemed to come true .
“Then I guess they were right when they said great minds think alike…” I replied. He smiled to and we enjoyed the stars until 12 am that night.
(Review pretty please? I worked really hard on this chap it took me a while. Tell me what you thought best chap yet, or did you like one of the others more? If so please tell. I’d be interested in your input. Thanks a bunch. More to come soon!)
Xoxo -Rad
Last night had been a lonely one… It was the first time in a long time that I was alone in the hospital room, and I hardly slept a wink. I thought on a lot of things, about how I never expected Frank to keep true to his word and stay as long as he did, about how much of an idiot I was for losing him again, about those three mind numbing words he spoke to me before he left with a wounded heart, about walking out of here alone when I would have been walking out of here with the love of my life, and about what I’d do when I got out of this shit hole.
“Mr. Way, Your free to go, your body is pretty regulated and you’re stable enough now to take care of yourself at home. Is someone coming to pick you up?” The overly polite nurse smiled her big fake smile at me. Hah, I wish. That’s something I didn’t think about, I was too busy thinking about how I let the person of my dreams go because of how much of a stubborn asshole I was. I mean, we both had valid points right, it’s not like I was completely… -“Mr. Way? Hello?” Oh shit, is she still talking? I guess I was spacing off again. “Oh uhm… ya hopefully…” She looked at me awkwardly but only smiled again right after wards. “Well, that could be a problem huh? I hope that all gets worked out for you… Anyway you’re free to go.” That was obviously code for, oh well that’s your problem, bye. It’s so hard to found real compassion these days. The nurse that I would have thought was cute had I not been turned completely around by a 5’2 reformed bad boy from Bellville high, left the room.
Being bed ridden for so long kinda fucked me up, so when I got out of that stupid lumpy uncomfortable bed my legs felt shaky. I made my way up to the front desk, and a very kind looking black woman with the largest smile possible looked up at me holding a clip bored and a folder with my name on it.
“So Gerard, do you have a ride home honey?” Fuck I forgot about that problem again. I’m such a fucking dumbass; I just ruined everything for myself, no ride, no potential love life, nothing. Oh well, I guess I deserve it, every bit of it. “Uhm… I kinda forgot about that, n-no… heh…” I tried smiling politely but was cursing myself to hell in my mind.
“What about that boy that stayed in your room for a while? He seemed so determined to walk out of here with ya.” As if my heart needed anymore damage. “Oh… ya… him…” I looked down in defeat. This would officially haunt me forever.
“What’s wrong honey? You’re lookin pretty down if I do say so myself.” I just shrugged. “Ya… sometimes things you don’t expect turn out exactly opposite of how you always wanted them to.” The lady shrugged at me and then smiled again. “True… but sometimes things you don’t expect turn out exactly how you want them to, you just have to work harder to enjoy it, but you can’t let it just pass you on by. Not everything falls right in your lap Honey.” She was right, what she said made a lot of sense and suddenly it clicked in my head. I had to go get Frank back.
“You know… your right…” I smiled to her, and she smiled back.
“I know.” She replied. I honestly think she was the only sincerely nice, caring person in there.
Thankfully, my amazing Grandma, who didn’t at all agree with my parents going away all summer and is more of a mother to me then my actual mother, was home and reachable so I gave her a call and had a ride home.
As I walked out to meet her in the lobby I wasn’t accompanied by the boy who promised to be here when I walked out of this place. It stung, bad, but that’s because I was the one who told him not to.
Not 15 minutes later she was there to get me hugging and kissing me and shouting “I was so worried” at me. Being my Parents as I already said had gone away for the summer, always chasing that ”big break” and never quite finding it, despite the many business trips they constantly went on, my Grandma hadn’t really known what we were up to, only that she got a call from the hospital saying I was discharged and ready to be picked up.
In the car she asked what happened and I answered her honestly. I told her everything; about the boy named Frank I met, about how I fell in love with him, and how that obviously makes me question my sexuality. About the fight and what it did to me, resulting in what it made me do to myself, and the three words he said before he walked out of my life again. And lastly how I planned to get him back and hoped I had her support in all this, which I knew I probably did. She supported everything I did/do. She and I were real close.
I was finally dropped off and it was good to see the house again. I continuously went over things I could say, or ways I could get Frank back, however that all came to a halt when I heard sobbing coming from upstairs, was Mikey crying? I ran to my door, our door, and just before I busted through it I heard Mikey’s voice trying to calm the sobbing. So it wasn’t him, then who? The door was barley open, just a crack left open for me to peek through. There I saw, conveniently enough, Frank sitting on the floor crying his pretty little eyes out.
“I told him I loved him and he let me go… He didn’t even say anything to try and stop me. Mikey he probably hates me right now! He’s probably disgusted! I’m disgusted with myself! How could I have said that and thought it would all work out. This isn’t the fucking movies! God I’m so fucking stupid!”
“Oh Frankie stop this. You need to calm down.”
“Why the hell did I fall in love with him? I’m not even gay and neither is he!” I heard him yell at the top of his lungs and then continued to shout another long string of profanities until his throat sounded raw and raspy. His tears poured out even faster it seemed, if possible, then before. My heart hurt for him. His voice got even more muffled which probably meant he stuck his head in a pillow or something. My heart was breaking hearing him cry. He thought his feelings weren’t returned If only he knew.
“I know for a fact that he feels the same way, he’s just too stubborn to admit it.”
“How do you know Mikey? How can you be so sure… the look he gave me wa-“ I cut him off mid sentence by opening the door and walking in. “Because Frankie, I told him I did. I have for a long time, I just didn’t wanna tell you because I was afraid of the same thing that had you scared. I know I should have said something but you left for so long and I got so angry and upset and, god I dunno Frank but honest I walked in here going over ways in my head to tell you this I’m just so glad you’re sitting on my bed room floor, because that makes it a whole lot easier.“ I smiled and through his tears he weakly but happily smiled back. Mikey said he was gonna give us some time alone and left the room. I sat on the floor next to him and for about five minutes there was extreme tension and an awkward silence that seemed to last a life time. Then finally I spoke again to break the ice.
“Frankie, I love you so much, really I do…” I said looking into those huge green brown eyes again for the first time in forever ago. He smiled a little bright this time and finally spoke. “Ya… well I hate you Gerard Way…” he said and at first I got extremely worried. Had I just made myself this vulnerable to him just for him to reject me? However I calmed when I noticed that wise ass smirk he often wore. “And why is that Frank Iero?” I replied. His grin grew. “Because you turned me gay…” he said and then pulled my face closer to his connecting our lips and closing whatever personal space we had. At first I was shocked and my eyes went wide, but then seeing his eyes closed and his face so relaxed, I relaxed to and melted into the kiss I had been waiting so long to receive. It started out really innocent at first, just lips touching lips, but after a minute it seemed Frank wanted to take things further, I didn’t complain. I felt his warm tongue gently graze over my bottom lip. It was a really wonderful feeling even being as nervous as I was. He seemed so calm and collected but I soon notice just how nervous he really was when his shaky hands came up to cup my cheeks. I thought it was extremely adorable and of course allowed him entry. As soon as he got his timid tongue inside my mouth he felt around. I felt him taste every little part of my hot mouth and once he came to know his way around well enough the timidness he had started to fade away. His tongue finally met mine and he messaged it slightly before I started to fight for dominance in my own mouth again. That’s when things got heated. He fought as well to keep his roaming abilities and eventually I found my way into his mouth. He moaned a little, it was real cute. I had to hold back from moaning myself. Just the thought of his tongue against mine made my head spin. It was the most amazing experience I think I’ve ever had thus far in my entire life. Everything was so new for us and awkwardly enough Frank was really nervous like he had never done anything like this before, when I knew he had.
As I may have stated several times already, Frank was the main crush and heartbreaker in my school and he wasn’t close to innocent sadly enough. It was a new girl every day. He never held onto them just had fun and moved on. Pondering on these thoughts made me really worried, was he going to do the same to me? Something told me otherwise just by the way he was kissing me, the way he seemed so inexperienced, so scared. I hushed my thoughts for the moment, as he started to take over my mouth again and decided I’d enjoy this and ask questions later.
I as well began to feel around in his mouth, my tongue moving over the smooth cold metal of his lip ring and then to the rest of his mouth. This went on for another few minutes until neither of us could breathe much longer, and we reluctantly pulled away. The minute it ended I immediately felt the loss of warmth and wanted it back so badly, though I wasnt gonna push anything.
We both sat there panting for a good few minutes until Frank was the one who broke the ice this time. “Wow… I think that was the most amazing kiss I’ve ever had.” He was out of breath but I could still hear the sincerity in his voice.
“That was the only kiss I’ve ever had….” I added making him laugh a bit. I was really happy but still the thought of him getting what he wanted and then leaving me nagged at my fuzzy numb brain. I had to say something…
“Uhm, hey Frankie, not to ruin the moment but uh… I kinda know about your reputation, and no offence but, I don’t want to be used Frank. Is this for real, or are you just waiting to get what you want so you can move on to the next person.” It all came out shaky and kinda jumbled but he still understood. I immediately regretted it when I saw the hurt look on his face.
“Gee…” he began, collected his thought on how to word it I guess and continued. “I know my rep is bad. I wouldn’t trust me if I were you either, and I can’t blame you. But honestly, I’ve never felt so worried and so vulnerable being intimate with someone like that before in my life. I really do love you. When my lips touched yours I got butterflies, I never get butterflies. There was something so special about kissing you and I never wanna lose that feeling for the rest of my life. So Gerard, would you maybe be with me? I want you to be my boyfriend. I’ve never had one before, it will be new and different but I can’t imagine being in love with anyone else ever again. Please say yes?” He smiled and his eyes pleaded with me.
Of course I would, but for some reason my brain locked up and I froze. I had been waiting to hear that for so long, that when I finally did, I couldn’t function. Gerard! Snap out of it! Say it god damnit! What kind of an idiot are you!? watched his eyes hopeful eyes began to fall to the floor in rejection and embarrassment. Finally my brain de fogged and I was able to speak again. I just hope it wasn’t already too late.
“Wait Frankie! Yes! Of course! I’d love to be yours, all yours. I love you Frank! I’m sorry I didn’t answer but I was so hung up on the fact that you’d actually wanna be with me that I guess my brain went into shock mode. “ I smiled encouragingly and he brightened up again.
“Yes! I’m so happy! I got so worried for a second!!” He exclaimed throwing his arms around me and hugging me so tight I almost couldn’t breathe anymore. For such a small person he sure was strong and I wasnt as skinny as him but I certainly wasn’t fat and I didn’t wanna break. He gave me a small kiss and was about to put his head on my lap when I stopped him looking at my cell for the time. Frank looked confused.
“Hey Frankie, is 8 o’ clock now. Wanna go watch the stars again like we used to? We only have like a month of summer left until school starts again.” He smiled widely at me and I took his hand as we went downstairs and out to the back to once again lay in the grass. Just like the familiar night I first realized I loved him he layed in my lap. However this time I could actually call him my lover.
“Hey Frankie…” I said after a few minutes.
“Ya Gee?”
“When was the first time you realized you loved me?”
“That night just like this one, when I layed in your lap and we locked eyes for the first time.”
I smiled wider then I thought could ever be possible and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. I loved being able to do that now whenever I wanted all my dreams had seemed to come true .
“Then I guess they were right when they said great minds think alike…” I replied. He smiled to and we enjoyed the stars until 12 am that night.
(Review pretty please? I worked really hard on this chap it took me a while. Tell me what you thought best chap yet, or did you like one of the others more? If so please tell. I’d be interested in your input. Thanks a bunch. More to come soon!)
Xoxo -Rad
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