k the first chapter was just bones so heres some more. please review and tell me what you think
(#) miss_pretty 2008-01-04u mean ash like in ashlee simpson?? i hope not! urgh
anyways, i like this story, keep going!
Author's responsewhat ashlee simpson?! Fuck no!! eww. I think I just pucked in my mouth.
No I meant Ash as in me :P cause thats my name. But everything else is pretty much fake. Glade you like it!
I'll post some more tonight or tomorrow hopefully :)
Thnkax for taking the time to review!
(#) rejected_smurf_god 2008-01-05I like this story too! It's very good, but I think some ways that you could improve it is to maybe have a little bit of feeling, like a paragraph where he's not talking he's telling the reader what he feels.
Other than that, it's great!
Author's responseYes I completely agree with you. I knew something was missing. But wasn't really sure how to go about it. But yeah more of Pete no exactly nataring will come up :)
Thanks for reviewing and telling me how to improve! It means alot :)
Hows the writters block going?
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