Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Army Of The Chosen One
Harry, Ron, And Hermione visit the new room Harry has discovered, When an unexpected encounter causes unexpected things to happen.
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The Army Of The Chosen One
(#) BenRG 2008-01-06
Actually... I'm sorry to say that a sucky chapter is not better than no chapter at all.
I'm presuming that this chapter was intended to introduce the two OCs (who, as described are something out of an animé). It would have been nice if there had been a bit more happening beyond them meeting and making threats in a pitiful attempt to establish pack dominance.
Thinking about those threats... One day, I'm going to have to work out how Hermione manages to make an overwhelmingly negative first impression on everyone she meets, even when she is being nice. It is a talent, I think, on a par with that enjoyed by Tonks. An aggravatemagus, perhaps? (Please note that I am an H/Hr fan and I still think this :-p ).Author's response
Good point, but I honestly couldnt think of anything else to add to that chapter, im having a bit of writers block, its a problem of mine, multi-chapter stories are always difficult for me to continue because I have a hard time finding things to fill in the space between the major events. And actually no the OC's are not out of an anime, I just think that hogwarts needs more colorful students, most of the people in the books are all hoidy toidy straight british type people. Thats my oppinion at least.The Army Of The Chosen One
(#) Vanir 2008-01-06
Well, a sucky chapter with promise is better than a sucky chapter without. This one was a lot easier to read, though. There's a huge warning sign above this story that flashes MANGA!
The references are just too close, and at this point, i haven't read a single good Manga!Potter that works. There just has to be a good story behind the hairdo's. Conservative British magical culture wouldn't stand for it, i believe.
It's a bit sad that hair is the only thing to remark on here. There wasn't much going on, but the characterization of Hermione was pretty damn good. Keep it up, and make it go places.
VanirAuthor's response
Lol thats getting a little annoying, WHY is it that my oc's seem so manga-like? i guess they do come to think of it but their not supposed to be, I just think that the black brown and blonde hair that COMPLETLY populates hogwarts is just a little mundane. as always thanks for the advice Vanir :) and the next chapter hopefully wont take much longer.The Army Of The Chosen One
(#) JustAReader 2008-01-06
I wouldn't introduce any more OCs right now I think you have enough just grab one of the lesser used cannon characters, that should give you enough flexibility while being a bit more familiar to readers.
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