FicWad

Gerard’s unchanging face cheered me up a little at least. He had this smile glued to his face. I shook my head, wishing I could be so excited over something like he was. I’d never seen him so happy. Seriously, even when he first brought Lucifer to the office. I was glad luck had finally came his way. He’d had a rough time lately. Car crash, Sheena. God, Sheena. She was a head case. Gerard’s ex girlfriend. Sheena was a punk rocker? Sheena was fucking insane. She had him out all night. Wasted out of him mind. He’d turn up to work with a hell of a hangover and get in trouble with Mr. Scott. He stuck by her though. Gerard was crazy like that. She finally left him a couple of months ago. Dropped for another guy. Sure, it hurt him. Devastated. He didn’t even look at another girl until Becca came along. Sweet really.

‘Oh, do you think she likes music?’ Gerard asked, twirling another goddamn rose around in his hands

‘I don’t know’ I answered, keeping my eyes on the road

‘Could ask her I suppose’ Gerard smiled, tapping his feet

‘Sure’ I replied

‘But.. Do you think she likes music?’

‘I don’t know’

‘I’ll ask her…’

‘Sure’

Silence and nervous twitching from Gerard. I continued to drive as carefully as possible. Another five minutes and we’d be there according to the signs placed on the roadside. Two miles to go. Gerard burst.

‘Oh, do you think she liked the Smashing Pumpkins? They’re an awesome band…’ Gerard spoke quickly, incoherently and irrelevantly ‘Maybe she doesn’t like music. That’s okay though I guess. I guess I could play her something and she might like it. What if she’s into Erasure or something? They’re… okay. Cheesy 80s pop’s always a win right? She might like My Chem. God, I hope she likes my band. I might write a song for her. What’ll she like for breakfast? Toast? Do nurses eat toast? Or maybe she’s fancier than that? Jelly on toast? Cereal? Full cooked breakfast? All greasy and dripping. Yum.’

‘Gerard!’ I yelled over his rambling

‘..What..?’ He stopped temporarily
‘We’re here’ I answered, pointing at the huge white building in front of us

‘Oh…’ Gerard blinked, reaching for the door handle, ‘Mkay..’

We walked up to the automatic doors, passed the smokers at the front, some in for bronchitis for god sakes. Gerard stared at them as we walked by. I knew what he was thinking.

‘No’ I said plainly

‘But…’ Gerard whined, I pulled him away by his arm

‘No’ I repeated, blunt ‘Quitting is quitting’

‘But…’ I slapped him and dragged him up the stairs, ‘Asshole’

‘Sorry I won’t let you kill yourself’ I snorted sarcastically

Ward 6. The sign big and red with a white arrow pointed forward. We followed, not that I needed to. I’d been here far too often. Counting every step I took, memorizing the layout of the horrible sticky floor. God, I hated this place. Can’t imagine how Rebecca could work here day after day. All the ill people. All the death. How miserable could that make you? You’d get people in often. The people you see often become regulars. The regulars, as much as they are loved by the staff, are there because they are frequently ill. Eventually, the regulars either recover or die. Usually, it is the former.

I could hardly deal with my mother’s death. In fact, that’s when I started my anti depressants. I might have hated her, detested her, wished her dead many a time but when it actually happen… I would do anything to get my mom back. These people had to deal with death daily. I could not do their job. Seriously, I would have a complete breakdown. Everyone seemed rushed off of their feet too. Nurses scuttled around. Doctors sprinted down corridors. I mean, I can’t remember it being this busy any other time I’d been her. Even Gerard was having second thoughts.

Rebecca was stood behind her desk, the bouquet she’d received the day before in a vase in front of her, she was just putting her jacket on. Time for more of Gerard’s charismatic magic. Literally sliding along the floor, which I didn’t even think was possible, he skidded to a halt right behind her. Slipping the rose he was carrying around and into her view, I saw a smile crawl onto her face. She placed her hand on his to take the flower from him, Gerard’s face heating up as their fingers brushed. She placed it in the vase with the rest of them.
‘Thank you’ She giggled, rearranging her bunch ‘You’re very sweet.. What are you two doing here?’

‘Inviting you to breakfast,’ Gerard skimmed around her, coming to her side

‘Oh,’ She sounded surprised, blinking at him, ‘Okay.. I’ll just tell Ryan that I’m leaving’

Ryan. Nurse Ross. Ah, I remember. That guy was nice. He was a bit loud I admit but he was a nice. I could just about see him prancing around in one of the patient rooms. He had found something incredibly funny and was doubled over, waving his hands dramatically. Rebecca’d already singled him out. Writing her name in some register on the desk, she shut the book and grabbed her bag from on top.

‘Ryan!’ Rebecca called, getting the young man’s attention

He turned his head back to the patient for a moment, saying what looked like ‘excuse me’ before waddling over to us. Waddling, yeah. The second he stopped in front of us though, it was like he’d received a sudden shot of testosterone. His voice was no longer high and squealing but rather low and reserved, shy even. He stopped gesturing, going from crossing his arms to hanging his arms down by his side. His stance had changed too. It was less confident, his head hung a little.

‘Hey Becky’ Ryan said, looking down at his feet, ‘Hi Pete and uh.. Gerard’

‘Ryan, I’m going for break now, okay?’ Becca said to him, smiling politely

‘Yeah, okay’ Ryan grinned back, looking up through his eyelashes

Hold up. Ten minutes ago Ryan was by far the campest guy I’d ever met, ever and now he’s gone very skittish and innocent like. Something was definitely wrong. I scratched my head.

‘Thanks Ry…’ Rebecca was half way through a goodbye when curiosity got the best of me

‘Are you gay?’ I asked bluntly to Nurse Ross, head tilted

‘Prozac!’ Rebecca hit me, but I was not to be silenced

‘Just curious is all..’ I mumbled, ‘Since one minute you’re loud and feminine and now you’re quite distant’

‘Uh…’ Ryan blushed, not looking up at me, ‘No… I’m not..’

‘Really?’ I asked in disbelief , head still tilted

‘Actually.. I’m married’ He showed his wedding finger and sure enough there was a ring there

‘To a man?’ I questioned, receiving another caution from Rebecca, and an elbow to the ribs

‘No… To a.. uh.. Girl’ Ryan stuttered, playing with his hands

‘Why the whole act then?’ I enquired, wondering how he could just switch like that

‘I… just don’t like… the female attention…’ Ryan shrugged, ‘Neither does my wife, Lacey, for that matter’

‘So you push the whole gay thing?’ I snorted, shaking my head

‘Yeah… I mean… I suppose… I just…’ Ryan ended with a gentle lift of the shoulders, smirk teasing his mouth ‘Had you convinced’

‘Did not!’ I cried, turning to Gerard in support

‘It is true’ Gerard agreed with Ryan, cause he’s Pirate Scum

‘Is not!’ I groaned, still adamant

‘Why were you flirting with me then?’ Ryan full on beamed in my face

I blink. Inhaling.

‘Shut up’ I growled, crossing my arms