Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > xxCall It Attraction, But I Call It Lovexx
(Spencer's POV)
I walked down a hallway to be greeted by her.
Kim.
"Baby.. I love you. But you need someone to love too." She said and walked over to me.
"I can't Kim. You have my heart. You do. Plus, who will I ever love as much as you?" I asked her as she stroked the side of my face.
"Baby. You have my heart. You're heart isn't mine. I'm sorry, hun. But you're still alive. You're heart still beats.." She paused and looked down.
She then looked back up and kissed my cheek.
"Spencer, I'll always love you. But you can't live with someone that's dead. Josh needs a proper mother. Just keep your eyes open. I'll send you a lovely girl. Promise..." She whispered into my ear.
She backed away from me, with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Never forget me, Spencer. I love you. And Josh." She said and then she was gone.
My eyes then popped open, and I sat up in bed all sweaty.
It was a dream.
Nightmare.
Whatever you call it.
She was letting me go.
I looked at my clock which read 10am.
I got out of bed, and walked over to Josh's room, to find him sleeping still.
I then sighed and went downstairs to eat some breakfast and to get a bottle for Josh ready, as he would wake up soon and very hungry.
Hmmn.
I opened the cabinet, in search for some food, when I saw a box of cereal.
It was Lucky Charms.
I always loved that cereal as a child.
So I decided to have a bowl of that before Josh would wake up.
Eating cereal reminded me of good times, back when the guys and our girls would spend nights at one person's house.
We would raid that person's cereal.
Most of the time, we all ate the Lucky Charms, which would make the person who's house we were at, really pissed.
There was something with us all and the word 'Lucky'.
It was weird-ish.
But eating Lucky Charms now, after so long, it reminded me of one memory for some reason.
It was one night, back when we were having one of our get-togethers.
It was at my grandma's house..
I remember that, because my grandma had stayed at a casino/hotel for a weekend.
So all of us boys had to house to ourselves.
But back to the memory.
I remember, that was a week after Kim had broken up with me.
Ryan and Tasha basically forced me host the get-together.
They said that they were inviting a few girls over, Tasha's friends.
When Ryan and Tasha finally arrived, they had a bag full of movies that they had probably just picked out from the local Blockbuster, and there were 2 girls with them.
There was a blonde, named KC, and a black-haired girl, named Sara.
They both went to school with Tasha.
I liked them both.
So, we watched movies, talked, fell asleep, and woke up and raided my "G-Ma's Crib's" cereal pantry.
So we all picked Lucky Charms, obviously.
So we were all sitting in the living room, watching TV, while eating our cereal.
And Ryan had to call some guy that was going to be joining our band, and Tasha and KC went to go get more cereal.
That left me and this Sara girl all alone.
We started talking.
She seemed really shy around me, as did I.
I wasn't normally shy.
I only was shy around girls that I found really attractive.
Sara was a double plus.
She was attractive on the outside, and her personality was just wonderful.
Soon, we found ourselves almost touching lips, but I backed away, remembering Kim.
I loved her.
I wanted Kim.
I was so stupid back then.
I should have kissed Sara.
But then like a week later, Brendon joined our band, and like, stole her ish.
So she was a definate 'no-no'.
So I kept my distance from her.
But now that I think of it- Brendon and Sara weren't anything alike.
He just used her, carelessly, to get rid of his pain that his 'Nat' has caused him.
Sara was more like me, but the more I found that out, the more that Brendon and her grew closer.
So, she was now, not a target.
Not now. Not ever.
I then got snapped out of my walk back into the past as I heard Josh crying.
I grabbed his bottle and walked upstairs.
"It's okay, Josh. Daddy's here.. with food." I said, stressing the food part and shook the bottle.
I then got Josh ready, after he ate, to go see 'Mommy' as he liked to call Tasha.
Josh seemed excited to be seeing 'Mommy'.
I walked into the hospital and walked to Tasha's room.
When I entered, I saw the room was filled with a bunch of balloons, cards, and flowers.
Damn, she's only been here for a night, and already had so many cards, ballons, and flowers?
I presume that most of them are from Ryan, since it was the night of their wedding.
I was shocked, when I saw the face of the visitor that Tasha had.
"Hey Spencer." She said lightly, as if scared.
"Hi Sara. How've you been?" I asked her.
Coincidence?
I think so.
"Good. I'm a Science teacher at our old High School." She said.
"Oh, that's cool. I assume that you know what I do for a living, right?" I asked her with a smile and made my way to Tasha's bed.
"Hey cutie-pie." Tasha said taking Josh and started caressing him.
"Yes, I do." Sara laughed.
"Hey Spencer. Thanks for bringing Josh." Tasha smiled at me.
"Hey Tasha. No problem. He missed seeing his 'Mommy'". I said.
"Wait, what?" Sara asked confused.
Tasha and I laughed.
"No, we didn't have a child together. Kim, my ex-ex girlfriend, got pregnant, thought I wouldn't want the baby, so that's why she broke up with me like almost 2 years ago, and then left the baby to Tasha, and Tasha eventually told me. So she then gave me custody of Josh, since I'm his father." I said to Sara.
"Oh. Wow. Was that the girl that uh, broke up with you back when I first met you?" She asked while taking her black long hair out of the ponytail that it was in.
"Yes, that was the girl." I said shyly.
Damn, she had gotten so much more beautiful over the past 2 or so years.
Wow, Brendon really fucked up with her.
"Yeah.." She said while twirling a piece of her hair.
"Oh, please. Don't you both think that you can give each other the fucking googly eyes and NOT tell me what the hell happened?" Tasha demanded, more than asked.
We both just looked at her shocked.
I didn't know that anyone could tell.
"Uh..I don't know what you-" Sara tried to deny it, but Tasha cut her off.
"Bahaha, You expect me, me of all people, to believe that nothing happened between you two?" She asked.
"Yeah." I said sarcastically.
"Fuck you Spencer. I'm pregnant, and in pain, so tell me now. No jokes either, buddy." She said while laughing and caressing Josh.
"Well.." I started saying.
"Remember when you first introduced us?" Sara asked Tasha.
"Yeah... Wait, you both didn't fuck did you?" Tasha asked.
I just shot her a look.
"No you retard. And no swearing around Josh, remember?" I asked her.
"Oh, sorry. But what did you both do?" She asked, so curiously.
Her curiosity got the best of her.
She loved knowing everything before everyone else.
And that's how it usually worked.
Tasha ended up knowing everything before anyone.
"We uh.. almost kissed.." I said shyly, and I'm pretty sure that Sara caught that.
"What? Why the fuck didn't you?" Tasha practically yelled with a smile.
"Language, Tasha. And because I was too hooked up on Kim." I said sadly.
"Oh." Tasha said and then looked like she was trying to solve the world's greatest problem.
"Well.... I know one thing.. errr.. TWO things.." Tasha said, with a finger pointed up, as she was declaring something.
"Oh yeah?" I asked.
"What?" Sara asked.
"Well.. one thing- I'm pregnant.. with Ryan's kid." She laughed.
"Oh, thank you Captain Obvious.." Sara said to her.
"Whats the second thing?" I asked her.
She just bit her bottom lip and looked at Josh.
"You two dig each other.." She said and looked up.
"And no fucking denying it." She said again.
"Lan-fucking-guage." I said to Tasha, even thought I was laughing.
"Uh.." Sara said, while her cheeks turned to a light pink.
I looked at her.
"You like me?" I asked her, curiously.
She looked into my eyes, and that just explained it all.
"Why don't you two give me and Josh some room. I wanna be with my nephew alone if you both don't fucking mind." Tasha laughed, stressing the swear word.
"Oh okay. Well then I'll just go. I'll call you later, Tasha. Get well soon." Sara said.
"Bye Tasha." I said and gave Tasha and evil look, and she just smiled widely at me.
She was doing me a favor.
I then walked outside of Tasha's room with Sara ahead of me.
"Hey, do you wanna go get some coffee, or something?" I asked her, with a small smile, in hopes that she'd say yes.
She looked down, then back into my eyes, "yeah I'd love to." She said.
Coffee..
Every relationship started on coffee, I bet you.
Somehow, they all connect to coffee.
Then after coffee, its uh.
Yeah.
You get the point.
I then thought back to my dream/nightmare, and thought of Kim.
When I thought of her, I didn't feel the hurt.
The hurt was gone.
I heard her voice in my head as I walked to the closest coffee place with Sara.
"Goodbye my love. Goodbye."
I walked down a hallway to be greeted by her.
Kim.
"Baby.. I love you. But you need someone to love too." She said and walked over to me.
"I can't Kim. You have my heart. You do. Plus, who will I ever love as much as you?" I asked her as she stroked the side of my face.
"Baby. You have my heart. You're heart isn't mine. I'm sorry, hun. But you're still alive. You're heart still beats.." She paused and looked down.
She then looked back up and kissed my cheek.
"Spencer, I'll always love you. But you can't live with someone that's dead. Josh needs a proper mother. Just keep your eyes open. I'll send you a lovely girl. Promise..." She whispered into my ear.
She backed away from me, with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Never forget me, Spencer. I love you. And Josh." She said and then she was gone.
My eyes then popped open, and I sat up in bed all sweaty.
It was a dream.
Nightmare.
Whatever you call it.
She was letting me go.
I looked at my clock which read 10am.
I got out of bed, and walked over to Josh's room, to find him sleeping still.
I then sighed and went downstairs to eat some breakfast and to get a bottle for Josh ready, as he would wake up soon and very hungry.
Hmmn.
I opened the cabinet, in search for some food, when I saw a box of cereal.
It was Lucky Charms.
I always loved that cereal as a child.
So I decided to have a bowl of that before Josh would wake up.
Eating cereal reminded me of good times, back when the guys and our girls would spend nights at one person's house.
We would raid that person's cereal.
Most of the time, we all ate the Lucky Charms, which would make the person who's house we were at, really pissed.
There was something with us all and the word 'Lucky'.
It was weird-ish.
But eating Lucky Charms now, after so long, it reminded me of one memory for some reason.
It was one night, back when we were having one of our get-togethers.
It was at my grandma's house..
I remember that, because my grandma had stayed at a casino/hotel for a weekend.
So all of us boys had to house to ourselves.
But back to the memory.
I remember, that was a week after Kim had broken up with me.
Ryan and Tasha basically forced me host the get-together.
They said that they were inviting a few girls over, Tasha's friends.
When Ryan and Tasha finally arrived, they had a bag full of movies that they had probably just picked out from the local Blockbuster, and there were 2 girls with them.
There was a blonde, named KC, and a black-haired girl, named Sara.
They both went to school with Tasha.
I liked them both.
So, we watched movies, talked, fell asleep, and woke up and raided my "G-Ma's Crib's" cereal pantry.
So we all picked Lucky Charms, obviously.
So we were all sitting in the living room, watching TV, while eating our cereal.
And Ryan had to call some guy that was going to be joining our band, and Tasha and KC went to go get more cereal.
That left me and this Sara girl all alone.
We started talking.
She seemed really shy around me, as did I.
I wasn't normally shy.
I only was shy around girls that I found really attractive.
Sara was a double plus.
She was attractive on the outside, and her personality was just wonderful.
Soon, we found ourselves almost touching lips, but I backed away, remembering Kim.
I loved her.
I wanted Kim.
I was so stupid back then.
I should have kissed Sara.
But then like a week later, Brendon joined our band, and like, stole her ish.
So she was a definate 'no-no'.
So I kept my distance from her.
But now that I think of it- Brendon and Sara weren't anything alike.
He just used her, carelessly, to get rid of his pain that his 'Nat' has caused him.
Sara was more like me, but the more I found that out, the more that Brendon and her grew closer.
So, she was now, not a target.
Not now. Not ever.
I then got snapped out of my walk back into the past as I heard Josh crying.
I grabbed his bottle and walked upstairs.
"It's okay, Josh. Daddy's here.. with food." I said, stressing the food part and shook the bottle.
I then got Josh ready, after he ate, to go see 'Mommy' as he liked to call Tasha.
Josh seemed excited to be seeing 'Mommy'.
I walked into the hospital and walked to Tasha's room.
When I entered, I saw the room was filled with a bunch of balloons, cards, and flowers.
Damn, she's only been here for a night, and already had so many cards, ballons, and flowers?
I presume that most of them are from Ryan, since it was the night of their wedding.
I was shocked, when I saw the face of the visitor that Tasha had.
"Hey Spencer." She said lightly, as if scared.
"Hi Sara. How've you been?" I asked her.
Coincidence?
I think so.
"Good. I'm a Science teacher at our old High School." She said.
"Oh, that's cool. I assume that you know what I do for a living, right?" I asked her with a smile and made my way to Tasha's bed.
"Hey cutie-pie." Tasha said taking Josh and started caressing him.
"Yes, I do." Sara laughed.
"Hey Spencer. Thanks for bringing Josh." Tasha smiled at me.
"Hey Tasha. No problem. He missed seeing his 'Mommy'". I said.
"Wait, what?" Sara asked confused.
Tasha and I laughed.
"No, we didn't have a child together. Kim, my ex-ex girlfriend, got pregnant, thought I wouldn't want the baby, so that's why she broke up with me like almost 2 years ago, and then left the baby to Tasha, and Tasha eventually told me. So she then gave me custody of Josh, since I'm his father." I said to Sara.
"Oh. Wow. Was that the girl that uh, broke up with you back when I first met you?" She asked while taking her black long hair out of the ponytail that it was in.
"Yes, that was the girl." I said shyly.
Damn, she had gotten so much more beautiful over the past 2 or so years.
Wow, Brendon really fucked up with her.
"Yeah.." She said while twirling a piece of her hair.
"Oh, please. Don't you both think that you can give each other the fucking googly eyes and NOT tell me what the hell happened?" Tasha demanded, more than asked.
We both just looked at her shocked.
I didn't know that anyone could tell.
"Uh..I don't know what you-" Sara tried to deny it, but Tasha cut her off.
"Bahaha, You expect me, me of all people, to believe that nothing happened between you two?" She asked.
"Yeah." I said sarcastically.
"Fuck you Spencer. I'm pregnant, and in pain, so tell me now. No jokes either, buddy." She said while laughing and caressing Josh.
"Well.." I started saying.
"Remember when you first introduced us?" Sara asked Tasha.
"Yeah... Wait, you both didn't fuck did you?" Tasha asked.
I just shot her a look.
"No you retard. And no swearing around Josh, remember?" I asked her.
"Oh, sorry. But what did you both do?" She asked, so curiously.
Her curiosity got the best of her.
She loved knowing everything before everyone else.
And that's how it usually worked.
Tasha ended up knowing everything before anyone.
"We uh.. almost kissed.." I said shyly, and I'm pretty sure that Sara caught that.
"What? Why the fuck didn't you?" Tasha practically yelled with a smile.
"Language, Tasha. And because I was too hooked up on Kim." I said sadly.
"Oh." Tasha said and then looked like she was trying to solve the world's greatest problem.
"Well.... I know one thing.. errr.. TWO things.." Tasha said, with a finger pointed up, as she was declaring something.
"Oh yeah?" I asked.
"What?" Sara asked.
"Well.. one thing- I'm pregnant.. with Ryan's kid." She laughed.
"Oh, thank you Captain Obvious.." Sara said to her.
"Whats the second thing?" I asked her.
She just bit her bottom lip and looked at Josh.
"You two dig each other.." She said and looked up.
"And no fucking denying it." She said again.
"Lan-fucking-guage." I said to Tasha, even thought I was laughing.
"Uh.." Sara said, while her cheeks turned to a light pink.
I looked at her.
"You like me?" I asked her, curiously.
She looked into my eyes, and that just explained it all.
"Why don't you two give me and Josh some room. I wanna be with my nephew alone if you both don't fucking mind." Tasha laughed, stressing the swear word.
"Oh okay. Well then I'll just go. I'll call you later, Tasha. Get well soon." Sara said.
"Bye Tasha." I said and gave Tasha and evil look, and she just smiled widely at me.
She was doing me a favor.
I then walked outside of Tasha's room with Sara ahead of me.
"Hey, do you wanna go get some coffee, or something?" I asked her, with a small smile, in hopes that she'd say yes.
She looked down, then back into my eyes, "yeah I'd love to." She said.
Coffee..
Every relationship started on coffee, I bet you.
Somehow, they all connect to coffee.
Then after coffee, its uh.
Yeah.
You get the point.
I then thought back to my dream/nightmare, and thought of Kim.
When I thought of her, I didn't feel the hurt.
The hurt was gone.
I heard her voice in my head as I walked to the closest coffee place with Sara.
"Goodbye my love. Goodbye."
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