Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Soul Purpose
A/N: The other day, I tried to edit the story. There were two posts of the first chapter so I decided to delete one. But sadly, it had all the lovely reviews in it and now they’re gone - my eyes nearly teared up :’( They were my very first reviews, the words that kept me writing. But, at least I’ve got those Fic-Wad mails in my inbox so they’re not lost forever. I swear, I’m not gonna fight Fic-Wad ever again! I know, I talk too much. Oh well, here’s the next chapter. Have fun reading it, cause I had fun writing it .And please review so I’ll know if I’m doing any good. I promise I won’t delete them :)
9. “The game that ties you up in knots”
“ This is your fantastic idea?” Gerard inquired, staring down at the box in the guitarist’s clutch and shaking his head.
Frank didn’t say anything, he just nodded. He studied the faces of the four people gathered around him. They were all staring at the box, their gazes transfixed on the colorful images.
Defne’s eyes went over the horrifying lines once again. The game that ties you up in knots.
“I don’t really think it’s safe to play Twister on a moving bus.” she said, frowning slightly.
The guitarist dismissed the thought with a careless wave of his hand. “Nahhh, we’ve got an awesome driver, and pretty much non-existent traffic.” he said.
Zack tore his eyes away from the game and spoke, trying to keep some Twister-related embarrassing memories away.
“I think we should stick with Truth or Dare.” he said, referring to Gerard’s rather silly offer at Frank’s previous words - something neither of us has done in quite a while .
“Nooooo!” they cried at once.
“You know, actually, we’re just the right number to play Twister.” Devon began “Four of us can play and the other can spin the spinner.”
“I demand to be that person!” Zack shouted hastily, his hand automatically flying up in the air. “I demand to spin the spinner!” He really, really didn’t want to tie himself in knots, not again, not ever, noooo, never…
They all looked at him as if they doubted his mental stability. Defne put a hand on his forearm and gently brought his hand down, trying not to smirk all the time. “Calm down, Zack” she said slowly, drawing each syllable out. “Noone’s gonna force you down on the mat, okay?”
He shot her an angry look, shrugging off her hand on his arm. She laughed out loud.
“Sooo, now that we have a ref and enough people to play, we can start!” Frank cried out in sheer joy, nearly ripping the box apart with the force of his excitement. He shoved the spinner to the other guitarist’s hands and started spreading out the mat on the floor.
Gerard fidgeted nervously. He hadn’t played Twister in ages – really ages. And he wasn’t the most athletic person. And he so didn’t want to keep expecting Defne to fall into his arms any moment during the game. That was a disturbing thought, really. He felt like a teenage boy at his first house party thinking and planning desperately about how to get close to the girl he liked – not to mention the fact that he hadn’t been the most charming teenage boy, girls didn’t even look his way…
“Hey, Frank, where’s Mikey? He might wanna play, too.” he said, hoping (and praying) to be able to get his brother to play in his stead.
Frank grinned up at him from his spot on the floor, where he was busy straightening one corner of the mat. “You’re not getting out of this that easy, Gee...” he said, letting out an evil little giggle in the middle of his sentence. “Mikey’s on the phone… with Alicia , so he’s gonna be a while. And he’s not gonna be able to play instead of you.”
Gerard huffed and pouted at him, folding his arms across his chest. “Whatever…” he mumbled with a sideways glance to the other singer.
Zack stared at him and shook his head. He sympathized with the poor guy. But it was either himself or Gerard so… well, he was a coward, he had chosen to save his own ass.
When he was satisfied with the mat, Frank quickly came to his feet, still grinning like a mad man. Either he had a really bizarre sense of humor or he was having way much fun torturing his best friend or he seriously wanted to play the game – or all of the above.
“Come on guys, kick off your shoes already!” he exclaimed and kicked his own sneakers off.
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“Left hand, red” Zack called out to his friends.
Everyone started looking for the perfect red circle to place their left hand onto while whining and groaning and cursing continuously at the same time.
Devon’s right hand was on a red circle, right foot on a blue circle at the edge of the mat, his left hand on a green one and left foot on yellow. He strained to reach the red circle closest to him and plastered his hand on it. His new position was much more comfortable than the one he was in. He sighed happily.
Next to him Gerard’s hand hovered in the air and he let out a humph. “That was my red circle!” he whined. The bassist just shot him a smirk and said “Sorry, man, but every man for himself…”
The singer scowled and looked for another alternative. Frank was in a weird crab-like position at the other end of the mat. Defne was crouched down a little in front of him, her right leg stretched out dangerously close to Frank’s head, left arm sticking out towards Gerard. Then she placed her left hand onto a red circle in front of his eyes and he grunted. Now, it was impossible for him to find another one. She just beamed at him innocently.
If only he could reach the other red circle at the far end of the mat… He might be able to do that if he managed to stay in an almost push up like position – with Defne hovering above him.
He shook his head and started to laugh. Everyone strained their necks to shoot him a look as if to ask him if he was crazy.
Finally Frank spoke, his voice slightly strained from the effort he was putting in to keep his body in such an impossible position. “Ummm, I think we broke Gerard.”
Defne studied Gerard’s face warily. “He’s got this crazy look in his eyes.” she said “I don’t know what he’s gonna do.”
“Shall we run?” asked Devon.
Gerard’s shoulders shook violently, so that he almost lost his balance and fell. He experienced a moment of mental clearance and decided to do the impossible. He reached towards the red circle near Defne’s leg – sliding his torso under her body in the process. He put his hand onto the required space on the floor. It was painful. Every muscle in his body screamed curses at him for the torture he was inflicting upon them. There was only one bright side – Defne was pretty much pressed against his back.
He let out a shaky breath. “Come on! Spin the damn thing!” he yelled with all his might. His diaphragm hated him that moment.
Zack blinked a few times, his eyes finally returning to their normal size. “Wooow, he did it.” he muttered. Then shook his head and remembered to spin the spinner – with the aid of a huff from Gerard and puff from Frank.
“Okay, right foot, green!” he called enthusiastically.
Everyone inspected their situation.
“How the hell do you manage to do this? Is there some secret strategy to get the spinner to stop in the most impossible position?” Defne shouted.
But she tried, anyway. And failed miserably. Managing to kick Frank in the face before collapsing onto Gerard. He had been trying to put his right foot on a green circle and had practically managed a weird but effective, non-push-up-like stance when she landed on top of him.
Suddenly Gerard’s back was pushed against the floor and his arms were full of a shaking mess of a singer. She was laughing hysterically – she didn’t seem to be able to control it. Her arms and legs were sprawled out in every direction and she couldn’t make a move to get up.
“Owww…” Frank rubbed his face as he struggled to stand up. “You fucking kicked my face as you fell!”
She only laughed harder.
Gerard couldn’t help but notice the difference between her smiles and her laughter. Her smiles were pretty and sincere. You would never be able to understand she’d bite back from those smiles. But her laughter – it was wild and… and crazy. Loud, open-mouthed sounds of pure joy, seeming to be coming from somewhere deeper than her throat. Hers was a laughter that would earn her a few frowns on the subway or a lot of head-turns in a bar.
He went along and laughed with her. Her body sinking deeper into his with every shake of laughter – he had never known what a tease that could be! His arms had made their way around her torso, holding her close, trying to feel all those good vibrations against every inch of his skin. It felt like holding a tiny bird in your palms, its wings fluttering, its warm body shaking with anxiety. But she wasn’t anxious or anything. She was just warm and shaky in his arms. He felt tiny flutters in his stomach. His insides were probably melting from happy-hormone overdose.
She was clutching at his t-shirt, her hair all around her face – some of it even in his face. But she could care less. Her body was more satisfied with its new position than any of the other ones it had been molded into the past hour. Besides, she really couldn’t stop her laughing and even if she could, she didn’t know if she would stop it. She just wanted to stay in his arms like that for some time. In his arms? He was holding her… and laughing heartily with her. The thought warmed up her insides, made her go all creamy like cookie dough.
The others laughed with them – or at them – for some time, too, but they soon recovered.
Zack shook his head (he seemed to do that a lot, lately), still smiling, and addressed them. “You two are crazy, you know that right?”
Of course he didn’t get an answer.
Devon didn’t even bother trying to talk sense into the writhing figures on the floor. He just dragged Zack down the hall towards where noises of a fight – over the controller – could be heard. “Let’s go join the game!” he cried.
Frank stood there and watched the two for a minute, gulping down water just to be good to his well-tortured body, for once. He noticed the way Gerard’s arms tightened around the other singer’s petite frame. He saw the expression on his face – complete carelessness, weightlessness or whatever the hell it was called. He just looked… happy.
It made the tiny guitarist so glad to see that one look on his best friend’s face. He personally tried so hard to make him maintain that look for long. Gerard had always been a tad bit too-sensitive. He would always easily get hurt, get affected by everything that happened around him. He used to stay silent and just devour it all in, back in the day – when Frank first met him. Gerard was shy and rather introvert, then. Frank hadn’t thought why but he had discovered that it was because he was able to pick up on other people’s emotions. He was able to empathize – so strongly that sometimes someone else’s pain would be Gerard’s. And he wouldn’t let that pain or frustration out. Sure he would draw and such, but he could never get it all out. That’s how the band saved his life. The band gave him the stage. Someplace for him to let it all out. Someplace for him to face up to the fact that he was pretty messed up but it was okay, cause most people were, too.
He had been so strong, Frank thought. Through it all… He hadn’t been demanding or anything. But Frank had known what he needed – as he, himself was known as the clingy one of the bunch, he knew the wonders of physical comfort – and he’d given him what he so desperately needed but was too proud to ask for. Frank had held him as he shook with silent tears, hugged him when he had to cling to something, even kissed away his tears. He had helped as best as he could.
And Gerard had recovered, healed. Whatever you would call it. Recently, his heart had been broken again. But this time, it didn’t seem so serious. He was doing good, hell he was doing perfect. And yet, Frank was still feeling protective of him. He knew that Gerard was in a fragile state of mind and this was probably not the best time for him to fall for someone. The tour had to end some time, after all. What would happen then?
He’d still be there to pick up the pieces.
He silently left to retreat to his bunk. Maybe call Jamia. He’d suddenly felt a wave of loneliness as he was watching the couple giggling on the floor.
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After a few minutes, the shaking stopped slowly. They finally recovered and with the happy-hormones slowly leaving their bloodstream, they took notice of the position they were in.
Gerard still smiled up at her, slightly. She stared at him behind locks of her hair. His hand automatically shot up to tuck her hair away from her face but as soon as his fingertips touched her locks she started to untangle herself from him and get up.
Defne tried not to look at him again as she picked herself up. She was surely blushing but she thought that could pass as the lingering effects of hard laughter.
She stood up and noticed he was still sitting on the floor so she held out a hand for him to help him get on his feet.
He stared at her hand for a moment, than looked up at her – deep in her eyes – and the corners of her mouth twitched. She couldn’t help but give him a tiny smile which he returned rather generously, with a cute bright smile of his own. He took her hand and hauled himself up.
“I guess Frank was right, after all.” he said.
She raised her eye brows in confusion.
“I mean, we did have fun…”
She chuckled and nodded.
He mentally scolded himself for only being able to come up with those lines. His brain didn’t seem to work properly… Well, she had fallen into his arms, after all…
9. “The game that ties you up in knots”
“ This is your fantastic idea?” Gerard inquired, staring down at the box in the guitarist’s clutch and shaking his head.
Frank didn’t say anything, he just nodded. He studied the faces of the four people gathered around him. They were all staring at the box, their gazes transfixed on the colorful images.
Defne’s eyes went over the horrifying lines once again. The game that ties you up in knots.
“I don’t really think it’s safe to play Twister on a moving bus.” she said, frowning slightly.
The guitarist dismissed the thought with a careless wave of his hand. “Nahhh, we’ve got an awesome driver, and pretty much non-existent traffic.” he said.
Zack tore his eyes away from the game and spoke, trying to keep some Twister-related embarrassing memories away.
“I think we should stick with Truth or Dare.” he said, referring to Gerard’s rather silly offer at Frank’s previous words - something neither of us has done in quite a while .
“Nooooo!” they cried at once.
“You know, actually, we’re just the right number to play Twister.” Devon began “Four of us can play and the other can spin the spinner.”
“I demand to be that person!” Zack shouted hastily, his hand automatically flying up in the air. “I demand to spin the spinner!” He really, really didn’t want to tie himself in knots, not again, not ever, noooo, never…
They all looked at him as if they doubted his mental stability. Defne put a hand on his forearm and gently brought his hand down, trying not to smirk all the time. “Calm down, Zack” she said slowly, drawing each syllable out. “Noone’s gonna force you down on the mat, okay?”
He shot her an angry look, shrugging off her hand on his arm. She laughed out loud.
“Sooo, now that we have a ref and enough people to play, we can start!” Frank cried out in sheer joy, nearly ripping the box apart with the force of his excitement. He shoved the spinner to the other guitarist’s hands and started spreading out the mat on the floor.
Gerard fidgeted nervously. He hadn’t played Twister in ages – really ages. And he wasn’t the most athletic person. And he so didn’t want to keep expecting Defne to fall into his arms any moment during the game. That was a disturbing thought, really. He felt like a teenage boy at his first house party thinking and planning desperately about how to get close to the girl he liked – not to mention the fact that he hadn’t been the most charming teenage boy, girls didn’t even look his way…
“Hey, Frank, where’s Mikey? He might wanna play, too.” he said, hoping (and praying) to be able to get his brother to play in his stead.
Frank grinned up at him from his spot on the floor, where he was busy straightening one corner of the mat. “You’re not getting out of this that easy, Gee...” he said, letting out an evil little giggle in the middle of his sentence. “Mikey’s on the phone… with Alicia , so he’s gonna be a while. And he’s not gonna be able to play instead of you.”
Gerard huffed and pouted at him, folding his arms across his chest. “Whatever…” he mumbled with a sideways glance to the other singer.
Zack stared at him and shook his head. He sympathized with the poor guy. But it was either himself or Gerard so… well, he was a coward, he had chosen to save his own ass.
When he was satisfied with the mat, Frank quickly came to his feet, still grinning like a mad man. Either he had a really bizarre sense of humor or he was having way much fun torturing his best friend or he seriously wanted to play the game – or all of the above.
“Come on guys, kick off your shoes already!” he exclaimed and kicked his own sneakers off.
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“Left hand, red” Zack called out to his friends.
Everyone started looking for the perfect red circle to place their left hand onto while whining and groaning and cursing continuously at the same time.
Devon’s right hand was on a red circle, right foot on a blue circle at the edge of the mat, his left hand on a green one and left foot on yellow. He strained to reach the red circle closest to him and plastered his hand on it. His new position was much more comfortable than the one he was in. He sighed happily.
Next to him Gerard’s hand hovered in the air and he let out a humph. “That was my red circle!” he whined. The bassist just shot him a smirk and said “Sorry, man, but every man for himself…”
The singer scowled and looked for another alternative. Frank was in a weird crab-like position at the other end of the mat. Defne was crouched down a little in front of him, her right leg stretched out dangerously close to Frank’s head, left arm sticking out towards Gerard. Then she placed her left hand onto a red circle in front of his eyes and he grunted. Now, it was impossible for him to find another one. She just beamed at him innocently.
If only he could reach the other red circle at the far end of the mat… He might be able to do that if he managed to stay in an almost push up like position – with Defne hovering above him.
He shook his head and started to laugh. Everyone strained their necks to shoot him a look as if to ask him if he was crazy.
Finally Frank spoke, his voice slightly strained from the effort he was putting in to keep his body in such an impossible position. “Ummm, I think we broke Gerard.”
Defne studied Gerard’s face warily. “He’s got this crazy look in his eyes.” she said “I don’t know what he’s gonna do.”
“Shall we run?” asked Devon.
Gerard’s shoulders shook violently, so that he almost lost his balance and fell. He experienced a moment of mental clearance and decided to do the impossible. He reached towards the red circle near Defne’s leg – sliding his torso under her body in the process. He put his hand onto the required space on the floor. It was painful. Every muscle in his body screamed curses at him for the torture he was inflicting upon them. There was only one bright side – Defne was pretty much pressed against his back.
He let out a shaky breath. “Come on! Spin the damn thing!” he yelled with all his might. His diaphragm hated him that moment.
Zack blinked a few times, his eyes finally returning to their normal size. “Wooow, he did it.” he muttered. Then shook his head and remembered to spin the spinner – with the aid of a huff from Gerard and puff from Frank.
“Okay, right foot, green!” he called enthusiastically.
Everyone inspected their situation.
“How the hell do you manage to do this? Is there some secret strategy to get the spinner to stop in the most impossible position?” Defne shouted.
But she tried, anyway. And failed miserably. Managing to kick Frank in the face before collapsing onto Gerard. He had been trying to put his right foot on a green circle and had practically managed a weird but effective, non-push-up-like stance when she landed on top of him.
Suddenly Gerard’s back was pushed against the floor and his arms were full of a shaking mess of a singer. She was laughing hysterically – she didn’t seem to be able to control it. Her arms and legs were sprawled out in every direction and she couldn’t make a move to get up.
“Owww…” Frank rubbed his face as he struggled to stand up. “You fucking kicked my face as you fell!”
She only laughed harder.
Gerard couldn’t help but notice the difference between her smiles and her laughter. Her smiles were pretty and sincere. You would never be able to understand she’d bite back from those smiles. But her laughter – it was wild and… and crazy. Loud, open-mouthed sounds of pure joy, seeming to be coming from somewhere deeper than her throat. Hers was a laughter that would earn her a few frowns on the subway or a lot of head-turns in a bar.
He went along and laughed with her. Her body sinking deeper into his with every shake of laughter – he had never known what a tease that could be! His arms had made their way around her torso, holding her close, trying to feel all those good vibrations against every inch of his skin. It felt like holding a tiny bird in your palms, its wings fluttering, its warm body shaking with anxiety. But she wasn’t anxious or anything. She was just warm and shaky in his arms. He felt tiny flutters in his stomach. His insides were probably melting from happy-hormone overdose.
She was clutching at his t-shirt, her hair all around her face – some of it even in his face. But she could care less. Her body was more satisfied with its new position than any of the other ones it had been molded into the past hour. Besides, she really couldn’t stop her laughing and even if she could, she didn’t know if she would stop it. She just wanted to stay in his arms like that for some time. In his arms? He was holding her… and laughing heartily with her. The thought warmed up her insides, made her go all creamy like cookie dough.
The others laughed with them – or at them – for some time, too, but they soon recovered.
Zack shook his head (he seemed to do that a lot, lately), still smiling, and addressed them. “You two are crazy, you know that right?”
Of course he didn’t get an answer.
Devon didn’t even bother trying to talk sense into the writhing figures on the floor. He just dragged Zack down the hall towards where noises of a fight – over the controller – could be heard. “Let’s go join the game!” he cried.
Frank stood there and watched the two for a minute, gulping down water just to be good to his well-tortured body, for once. He noticed the way Gerard’s arms tightened around the other singer’s petite frame. He saw the expression on his face – complete carelessness, weightlessness or whatever the hell it was called. He just looked… happy.
It made the tiny guitarist so glad to see that one look on his best friend’s face. He personally tried so hard to make him maintain that look for long. Gerard had always been a tad bit too-sensitive. He would always easily get hurt, get affected by everything that happened around him. He used to stay silent and just devour it all in, back in the day – when Frank first met him. Gerard was shy and rather introvert, then. Frank hadn’t thought why but he had discovered that it was because he was able to pick up on other people’s emotions. He was able to empathize – so strongly that sometimes someone else’s pain would be Gerard’s. And he wouldn’t let that pain or frustration out. Sure he would draw and such, but he could never get it all out. That’s how the band saved his life. The band gave him the stage. Someplace for him to let it all out. Someplace for him to face up to the fact that he was pretty messed up but it was okay, cause most people were, too.
He had been so strong, Frank thought. Through it all… He hadn’t been demanding or anything. But Frank had known what he needed – as he, himself was known as the clingy one of the bunch, he knew the wonders of physical comfort – and he’d given him what he so desperately needed but was too proud to ask for. Frank had held him as he shook with silent tears, hugged him when he had to cling to something, even kissed away his tears. He had helped as best as he could.
And Gerard had recovered, healed. Whatever you would call it. Recently, his heart had been broken again. But this time, it didn’t seem so serious. He was doing good, hell he was doing perfect. And yet, Frank was still feeling protective of him. He knew that Gerard was in a fragile state of mind and this was probably not the best time for him to fall for someone. The tour had to end some time, after all. What would happen then?
He’d still be there to pick up the pieces.
He silently left to retreat to his bunk. Maybe call Jamia. He’d suddenly felt a wave of loneliness as he was watching the couple giggling on the floor.
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After a few minutes, the shaking stopped slowly. They finally recovered and with the happy-hormones slowly leaving their bloodstream, they took notice of the position they were in.
Gerard still smiled up at her, slightly. She stared at him behind locks of her hair. His hand automatically shot up to tuck her hair away from her face but as soon as his fingertips touched her locks she started to untangle herself from him and get up.
Defne tried not to look at him again as she picked herself up. She was surely blushing but she thought that could pass as the lingering effects of hard laughter.
She stood up and noticed he was still sitting on the floor so she held out a hand for him to help him get on his feet.
He stared at her hand for a moment, than looked up at her – deep in her eyes – and the corners of her mouth twitched. She couldn’t help but give him a tiny smile which he returned rather generously, with a cute bright smile of his own. He took her hand and hauled himself up.
“I guess Frank was right, after all.” he said.
She raised her eye brows in confusion.
“I mean, we did have fun…”
She chuckled and nodded.
He mentally scolded himself for only being able to come up with those lines. His brain didn’t seem to work properly… Well, she had fallen into his arms, after all…
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